Chapter 14
A/N: I'm back. Properly this time. Please forgive me! Two months of intense crap but things are picking up. I have bronchitis currently and it's my birthday on Tuesday so fingers crossed I'm better by then. My brother left for university. Everything is moving around but I really want to regularly write again as it's so relaxing but I just didn't have time previously. I have two new fic ideas so whilst I'm writing these chapters for my current fics, I'm going to be writing chapters for two other fics at the same time so when it comes to it I just upload them and you guys don't have to wait ridiculous amounts of time for them. Sorry about any mix of American/English spellings – I try to convert them all but I know I miss some of them or I don't think it looks right.
It was raining when Sam woke up. He knew that because he could hear the tell tale clatter of liquid against windows, also someone must have left a window open as he felt harsh air howled inwards, as if trying to escape the cold outside. The hair on his arms stood on end as a chill rippled through him but it was oddly refreshing. Breathing in shakily through his nose, he was assaulted with the unforgiving sting of disinfectant and plastic chairs.
He tried to remember the last thing that had happened, according to his memory he should surely be lying on his sofa right now. And yet, he felt the stern grip of a standard government issued bed, coupled with cardboard pillows and scratchy sheets he established relatively easily that he was in a hospital.
This worried him. Had he honestly been that sick that they'd had to take him to the hospital? Who'd found him? Twitching his limbs and digits, he didn't feel anything majorly wrong. He tried to take in a deep breath but felt it steal away in his throat and he choked on nothing as he tried to allow his starved lungs some respite and tried to account for the reasoning behind this theft of oxygen. So yawning was out of the question for a while. His silent coughing fit had woken him up a little though and he could feel his head spinning slightly with his shallow breaths. Aggravated with his body's lack of co-operation he opened his eyes to find some way of getting answers.
Luckily it wasn't very bright; but he still winced at the slice of light that came from the sunrise that was only just visible through the mild storm blowing outside. However, his eyes quickly focused on something much more pressing than the horizon as he saw the young man fast asleep in the chair next to his bed.
Sam didn't know what time it was, or day, exactly but it was clearly early and Gabriel looked exhausted. Sam didn't realise it was possible for angels to experience exhaustion. Apparently there was still a lot more he had to learn about them. His head was slanted at an awkward angle and his arms fell loose at his sides, no doubt his back would ache from sleeping at such an angle but Sam didn't want to wake him. It was one of the rarities in life that you could experience Gabriel looking serene.
The persistent itch in the back of his throat begged him to pay attention to it and he tried to lean for the glass of water that was just a little too far from the bed when a sharp pain kicked into his abdomen. His throat let out a throttled, raspy cry as he slumped back on the bed, clutching his side with gritted teeth.
Gabriel startled awake and Sam would've sighed at the ruined moment would it not have felt like someone was taking a knife to his appendix. Gabe jumped up at an impressive speed and Sam blinked at him as he stared right back, gaping for a moment. The silence before a storm it would seem. And just like that Gabriel exploded.
"Are you insane? What in sweet hell were you thinking, dumbass?! Are you a freaking idiot, huh? Just what the hell did you think you were doing?" Gabriel yelled, and it didn't stop there. A list of insults and a talented variation of aggressive rhetorical questions. Sam stared, dumbstruck at the sudden change in setting.
"What, nothing to say, douchebag?" Gabriel looked genuinely seething now and his face was a little flushed from the exertion and he was out of breath as he leaned over the bed over Sam. Sam attempted to speak, to say anything but his voice didn't come out as more than a chaste whisper that couldn't be heard over Gabriel's laboured, furious breathing.
"Say something!" Gabe's voice cracked and betrayed some of his terror behind all this anger. Sam tries but barely a sound escapes his lips and Gabriel hung his head with a whimper of fatigued frustration before pulling away and Sam just wants to pull him back because that is not a Gabe noise. Never would that despairing sound become related to Gabe. Sam was just so confused. What was Gabe even so angry about? What happened?
"You're smart, Sam! You're so freaking smart, you asshole! You're not supposed to do this shit, you're really smart!" He caught his breath slightly and dragged a hand through his hair as he went to close the window which was now getting distracting.
Head pulsing with questions, Sam slowly sat up and moved to shakily stand so he could get to the water. He finally managed to gain some forgiveness from his vocal chords as they nearly audibly sighed in relief at the cool liquid.
"What happened?" He rasped and Gabriel span around with a confused expression on his face. You could almost see the cogs in his mind turning as he processed this new information.
"You don't...? Crap. You don't know." Guilt flashed across Gabriel's features as he gestured Sam should sit back down again. Sam waited patiently as Gabe explained, at length, what had happened.
"Oh, God..." Sam pulled a hand through his bedraggled hair.
"I set fire to the house? Where are we gonna' stay? What're we gonna' tell Dad?" He croaked.
"Uh, Dean said he had a plan to sort all that stuff out." Gabriel said quietly, seemingly embarrassed at his earlier outburst.
"Dean," Sam made to get up but Gabriel pushed him back down gently.
"Woah there, big shot. You need to stay in here, okay? Dean's gonna' be in later, okay, but I've put a little mojo on the room so no one's overly inclined to come in, probably explains why no one's called the cops about the noise..."
"Mojo?" Sam queried and Gabe rubbed his neck awkwardly.
"Well, yeah, uh, like my power, you know?" He finished a little lamely and it was the most anti-climatic thing Sam had ever heard and it prompted a hysterical wheeze of a laugh, which, despite the pain it slapped him with, rewarded him with a relieved smile from Gabriel. He was beginning to worry Gabe had forgotten it. There was a loaded silence for a while as neither quite knew what to do.
"Uh, Gabe?" Sam forced.
"Yeah, kiddo?" He replies, he really did look tired.
"Why, um, what was with the hulk out before?" Gabriel looked at him like he was insane.
"You serious?" Sam shrugged, completely unaware and a noise of disbelief and bitter amusement erupted from Gabe.
"You set your freaking house on fire, idiot. With you inside it. You know, when people call you a 'bright spark' it's a figure of speech, genius." Gabriel spat out, tone dripping with sarcastic aggravation. Sam didn't catch any underlying flicker of fear or panic.
"Okay, drop the attitude. Don't act like I did it on purpose, alright? It was an accident. And I'm okay, so you can cut the guilt trip too; Dean'll have that covered, okay? You don't need to act like you give a damn." As soon as he'd said it Sam regretted the words but he was tired and disorientated and his lungs were protesting every breath he took. Gabriel glared at him, it wasn't a look Sam had felt before nor was he overly enthusiastic to see it again.
"Fine. I don't give a damn. Is that what you want to hear? Sure. I wouldn't have given a crap if you got deep fried, big shot." He snapped harshly and Sam broke a little, feeling himself bristle.
"So why the hell did you get me out of there then?"
"Because if you got fried like a chicken nugget, Dean-o would cry his little eyes out and Cassie would feel like shit because they're freaking married or something and I don't want Cas to feel like shit, okay?" Gabriel shouted and Sam clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing. Gabe seemed to be rethinking his words moments after he said them but Sam had, had enough.
"Get out, angel." He muttered with a rasp and Gabriel recoiled like he'd been punched in the gut. He hadn't been expecting that and suddenly everything had painful clarity as he realised what an arse he'd been to jump on Sam like that when it wasn't Sam's fault that this had happened, not really. He'd just got angry that Sam hadn't realised how genuinely scared he'd made him, how terrifying it had been to use all the grace he could but not know if it would make any damn difference in fixing him. He'd flipped and said stupid aggressive crap to get a rise and an argument to avoid actually talking about things and guess what, it back fired, yet again. He'd completely alienated Sam.
"Sam," He tried quietly.
"I said get out." Sam tried to snap with vigour but his voice made it sound like a small, sad sound and it made Gabriel's stomach drop.
"You scared the hell outta' me, Sam, okay? Jeez' I mean I had a freaking heart attack when I saw your house and then I was trying to find you and I couldn't see you and-" He took a deep breath and took Sam's silence as a prompt to continue. He didn't know how to start this crap but figured this was one of those times when you kind of had to talk it out.
"Anyway, I found you and you weren't, I mean, your lungs were all burnt out and I was shoving all my mojo at them but nothing was happening and I was shouting and wouldn't stop even when we got to the hospital because you were just, I don't know, you just weren't, I guess. Then Dean showed up and he wasn't allowed in here and, well, you know Dean-o, he's probably been out there all night trying to find twenty six different way to blame himself which is exactly what I was doing but.." Sam's shoulders had relaxed slightly but he still didn't turn, he just sat silently.
"I was mad at you because you're supposed to be this super nerd genius and you," A hysterical bubble of laughter flew out from him as he spoke.
"You nearly got barbecued because of a soup packet, you know? I got mad. I'm the stupid one, this stuff is supposed to happen to me not-"
"Don't say stuff like that to me. Don't say it should've happened to you. You're not an idiot, Gabe." Sam said uncomfortably.
"I just mean, I, it really set me on my ass, Sam. I was waiting this whole time for you to wake up so I could talk to you and as soon as you did I went ahead and lost it. See? Idiot." He sighed heavily. There was another silence, an unsure stretch of time whilst they both tried to lower their cards from their chests.
"Why did you and Cas stop talking to us? Where were you? You weren't at school, no one answered at your house, you ignored my messages. What's with the radio silence?" Sam did turn now and Gabriel was a little dizzy at the sudden topic change and it felt so small compared to Sam in a hospital bed but he realised he probably did owe Sam some kind of explanation. Unfortunately it wasn't all that simple.
"It's complicated, Sammy."
"So explain." Sam countered and Gabriel saw that look of 'I'm-not-taking-any-of-your-shit' that he both adored and was endlessly frustrating to him and suddenly sympathised with Dean.
"My Uncle's in town." He almost winced at his own attempt of edging as far around the line of the truth as he could get.
"Right..." Sam pushed patiently.
"He, uh, he doesn't want us mixing with people." There was something unspoken hanging in the air but, to Gabriel's relief, Sam didn't pursue it.
"How come?"
"He just, he's really protective, he doesn't trust people with family," Gabe felt sick lying but this was the last thing he wanted Sam mixed up in. Furthermore, he tried to pay little attention to why that might be other than Sam could get hurt. Or why the thought of Sam getting hurt more made him feel so inconceivably unwell. This wasn't helped by Sam offering something entirely more frightening.
"Oh, well why don't we just go round there and meet him and he'll see we're not that bad and let you back to school,"
"No! I mean, just, no, no way. Not a good idea." He stammered unimpressively and Sam fixed him with an odd look.
"Gabe, what aren't you telling me?" Of course Sam would see right through him.
"Please, just forget about it, okay? We're working on getting back to school but just, just don't come round, okay? Please, kiddo." He threw on a smile but for some reason it felt wrongly fixed on his face. It appeared that Sam was about to say something when the door opened and Castiel's head came around the door.
"Sam, I'm glad to see you're awake. I'm sorry, Gabriel, we need to go. Zachariah will be back soon." He seemed to speak without words and Gabe nodded after a few seconds.
"Sure, one sec, Cassie." Castiel nodded with a small smile at Sam and closed the door.
"You'd tell me if you're in any real trouble, right?" He asks tactfully, watching Gabriel carefully. It's a test and Gabe knows it. He decides side stepping it is the easiest escape if the most suspicious.
"Get the hunter if I have any angel trouble, huh?" He raises an eyebrow with a smile and Sam forgets about his suspicion for a second as a boyish smile appears on his face. He's never thought about them in those terms and it sounds so ridiculous when you look at them both. This momentary distraction is just what Gabriel was looking for and is a little ashamed of his quick goodbye and exit, but that smile will certainly tide him over for a while. When he gets into the hallway he finds the star crossed lovers gazing at each other like usual, but Dean was looking a little worse for wear than he'd previously seen and he did feel for the guy. His brother was laid up in hospital and he was trying to be an interpreter for 'Castiel-ish' which is a notoriously difficult language to master.
"Come on, Romeo, we gotta' go. Dean-o, Sammy's awake." He adds on the end because he knows it will get Dean to leave them be pretty quickly. Just as planned, Dean nods and rushes into the room with his brother. Castiel shoots a warning look at Gabriel and he sighs.
"What? You told him all about our current hostage situation and how if they come over good old Uncle Zack'd kill them if he knew they were hunters?" Gabriel drawled.
"Lower your voice!" Castiel snapped.
"I'll take that as a no then."
"We just need to find the right time. Sam's still recovering and Dean's got enough on his plate. We'll tell them another time."
"After it's all done and dusted, you mean?" He knew Castiel's silence was an affirmative.
"They're gonna' be pissed."
"I have no doubt Dean will be incredibly angry, however, I have no intention of putting him at risk, especially from our Uncle." Gabe nodded, understanding. How his situation seemed relatable to his brother who was clearly head over heels for that Winchester didn't bode well for his own situation.
"Yeah, come on, let's get back."
XXXXXXX
It was a few days later when Gabriel and Castiel were in Gabriel's bedroom. He'd just finished putting a bandage on Castiel's arm where the burn was. Somehow, Zachariah had bound their grace so even using a little was difficult and exhausting. Anna was holding up admirably but the loss of Michael was staring to tell. She'd somehow managed to get the boys permission to return to school on Monday for a trial basis but they were still worried that it had cost her more than what she'd say.
It was late on a Friday evening and they'd yet to be called for their dinner when they heard a knock at the door. Expecting it to be Raphael as he'd gone to fetch food supplies for their Uncle, Castiel went to get the door. When he opened it he stared horror-struck as Dean and Sam stood there.
"Hey, Cas." Dean said, sounding a little unimpressed.
"Hey Cas, listen, we're sorry for just turning up but-"
"No we're not. That's what friends do when they're worried." Dean interrupted sternly.
"Dean." Sam and Cas said in unison and Gabe appeared at the door too, eyes wide.
"What the hell are you guys doing here? Cas, why're you talking to them?!" He asked in disbelief.
"What?" Sam said, shock and a hint of hurt layering his tone.
"No, Sam, I told you not to-"
"Boys," Both Winchesters saw the way Gabe and Cas froze up like they had a gun to their head. Zachariah appeared in the doorway, a look of menacing confusion pointedly aimed towards the two strangers.
"Who's at the door?" So this was the Uncle, Dean thought to himself. Even if he hadn't known, everything about this man screamed angel, the type of angel his Dad had always described anyway.
"They're just leaving." Castiel spoke with that expressionless tone he used sometimes; it made Dean feel sick. Sam was staring at Gabriel still and Gabriel was definitely avoiding looking back.
"Now, now, Castiel. Don't be rude. Invite them in, there's enough dinner to go around." He placed a hand on Castiel's bad arm and Dean didn't miss the way his jaw clenched.
"Please, stay for dinner." His eyes were pleading for them to run, right now, run, but no way was Dean leaving him or Gabe, for that matter, with this creep if he could help it.
"Sure," Dean agrees carefully and even Sam swivels to stare at him with his 'Dean's-doing-something-stupid-and-dangerous' look. Zachariah's answering smile made his insides turn but he was a Winchester and a hunter after all.
"I'm Zachariah, the boys' Uncle. You are?"
"I'm Dean; this is my brother, Sam. We're, uh, friends from school."
"Hm. Well, dinner will be ready shortly, you'll be called. Make yourself at home." And with that he was gone and they heard another door close down the hallway. Castiel wasted no time in grabbing Dean's arm and hauling him off upstairs to his room.
Gabriel and Sam stared after them for a moment before they stepped in and Sam closed the door.
"What the hell, Gabe?"
"I told you not to come."
XXXXXXX
Cas closed his door quietly and turned to fix Dean with a borderline ferocious glare that made the rest of the tidy room seem paler in comparison.
"What do you think you're doing here? Who do you think you are marching up here and inviting yourself to dinner?" He snapped quietly and Dean stepped forwards angrily.
"I didn't invite myself, your Uncle did. I wanted to see if you were okay because you haven't spoken to me in days, neither has Gabe to Sam. What were we supposed to do?"
"Leave us be!"
"What with Mr Freaky Uncle down there who you're clearly scared of?" Dean shot back and Castiel's glare somehow intensified as he stepped closer, squaring up.
"I do not need your help." He spat out each syllable poisonously.
"Whatever you do or don't think is going on here; I can handle it, Dean." His tone was dangerously cold and Dean didn't want Cas to mistake his meaning, he was just worried for him, about him.
"Cas, you've literally been putting out fires in my life for a while now. Don't shut me out just because I might wanna' do the same for you." Dean said more softly and Castiel sighed exasperated. He put both hands on Dean's shoulders.
"I know you think you're helping, but you're not. You need to leave, please." Castiel pleaded.
"Not until you tell me what's going on." Dean said stubbornly and put a hand on Cas' arm. Castiel hissed in pain and Dean immediately recoiled.
"Shit, sorry," He gently took Castiel's arm and before any protest could be made he slid the sleeve of Castiel's shirt up and the poorly tied bandaged slid off also, making Castiel whimper slightly in pain. He was unaccustomed to long term pain because his grace would knit any wounds back together relatively quickly but without it the wound was left to fester from where Zachariah had held it under a flame when he talked back. Dean's intake in breath at the harsh wound was enough to make him snatch his arm away.
"How did you get that?" Dean asked. His feeling of unease was slowly growing and Castiel's avoidance of eye contact didn't make him feel better so he closed the distance between them and leaned down to force Cas to meet his eye.
"How did you get that burn, Cas?" He asked more forcefully.
"In the fire at your house, it got burnt when I was dousing the flames, that's all." He muttered and Dean growled audibly.
"Don't lie to me, Cas, that wasn't there when you were at the hospital, I know it wasn't. How did you get it?" Castiel bit his lip as he stared at Dean. He didn't look angry he just looked frustrated, desperate to help, to get the truth. The one person who his mind physically repelled lying to and he was asking all the questions Castiel didn't want to answer.
"How did you get it?" Dean's voice was rising and Castiel slowly fisted both hands in Dean's jacket firmly as he looked up, pleading.
"Please, Dean." He shook his head.
"Cas, why can't you tell me? Why've you suddenly got all these secrets, man? Do you not trust me or something?" Dean looked hurt and worried and it all made Castiel feel sick and guilty and desperate but one thing he couldn't handle was Dean thinking Castiel didn't absolutely trust him or want him around.
"Of course not. Please, try and understand." He said half-heartedly.
"How can I when you won't talk to me?" Dean said more kindly with a desperate smile as he pulled Castiel's chin up.
"I don't deserve your trust, Dean, or your help." Castiel's voice wavered but he didn't bother trying to pull away, he couldn't even if he tried, even if he wanted to. Dean frowned further and Castiel smoothed a hand across his forehead, trying to wipe it away and let his hand move to rest at the base of Dean's neck. He yet again found himself gravitating towards Dean, like some pulling cosmic force but it was a miracle when Dean closed his eyes and gave in too, leaning forward a minuscule amount and brought both hands to hook under Cas' chin, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. Castiel let his eyes close too.
"You deserve everything, Cas. I'm just sorry the only everything I've got to offer is the crappy Winchester version."
When Castiel opened his eyes at the realisation of what Dean actually said he found Dean's eyes already open staring back at him. He could scarcely breathe when he really heard what Dean was saying, underneath all the self-deprecation and confusing words, what he was really offering. Dean dragged a thumb over his bottom lip and Castiel could feel his legs weaken slightly.
"I'm drowning, Dean." He breathed.
"So let me help." Dean's voice matched his and it would be so easy, it would be oh-so easy.
"Dean, I-"
"Dinner." A commanding voice made Castiel automatically tear away and Dean's hands fell down uselessly at his sides.
"We have to go down." Castiel said, eyes trained on the floor before he left the room and Dean in it.
A/N: So a longer chapter and next chapter will be the dinner fiasco. If you have any ideas for what you'd like that would be great and I'll write them in. The next chapters are already mostly written but I have no problem putting things in! Please let me know what you thought it's wonderful to hear from you and it helps immensely to get me writing more! Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading! Belle.
