The theme song for this chapter is "Forever" by Papa Roach


Chapter 49: Tricks & Stories

The next morning, Natasha woke early and left quietly. Loki had come to bed very late, trying to sneak in without her noticing, and Natasha had pretended to remain asleep, letting her think she had succeeded. She wanted to ask why, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. Loki looked so peaceful asleep that she didn't feel like waking her.

So she grabbed a quick shower and then headed down to one of the beaches. This morning it was cloudy and windy, and she had the strand of pebbles to herself. She was glad of the solitude-she had never been a terribly social person, and while she enjoyed her time with her fellow Avengers, she also found it somewhat draining. With so many conflicting egos, she was constantly having to plan her next move, trying to make sure everyone got along well enough to be functional as a team. Here, alone, she didn't have to think about anything. She could just be, for a while.

She wasn't exactly sure when she became aware that Loki was watching her, but she turned to find him perched on one of the boulders that lined the back of the beach, up against a small cliff face. He looked to be comfortable, so she didn't hurry to join him, just wandered in his general direction.

"Morning," she said as she approached the base of the rock.

He smiled a little. "I've been sent to find you," he explained.

She frowned. "Something up?"

He shook his head. "No, they just wondered where you'd gone. You missed Thor's introduction to popsicles."

Natasha laughed. "I can imagine." She paused, glancing back at the beach. The sun was coming out from behind the clouds, and she felt oddly refreshed. "Thanks for waiting."

He slipped gracefully from the stone. "You looked like you didn't want to be disturbed, so I thought I'd return the favor."

She shot him an inquisitive glance.

Loki chuckled. "You're not the only one who can feign unconsciousness."


When they reached the beach where the others had gathered, they saw Thor, Tony, and Steve seated at a wicker table. Thor cheerfully offered her a popsicle as they approached. She smiled and took it, sitting at the table with them and listening to their bantering as she watched Clint, out in the water, teaching Darcy and Maria to surf. Pepper and Jane were staked out on towels nearby, tanning and chatting.

Loki continued his newfound favorite hobby of watching Natasha. She tried to ignore it, for a while, but in close quarters it was a little unnerving.

"What?" she finally demanded, although quietly so as not to draw attention from the others.

He smirked, and leaned over to murmur in her ear. "Watching you eat that is giving me ideas."

She smirked right back before intentionally drawing her tongue up the length of it. "Such as?"

He held out a hand for the popsicle, and she handed it to him, wondering what he was going to do. He licked the tip of it, and his expression changed to one of surprise. He licked it again. "Actually, that's quite good," he admitted.

"You didn't try one before?" she asked.

"Not this flavor," he explained. He then popped it in his mouth, stood, and started walking away.

Natasha sat there for a moment, confused. She caught sight of Thor watching her, and saw that he shook with barely contained laughter.

He tricked me, she realized suddenly, and leapt up from her chair. "Hey, that was my popsicle!" she shouted, and ran after him. He turned, a look of mock-innocence on his face. She pulled the stick from his mouth, but found that was all it was—a stick. "You ate the whole thing? How do you not have the worst brain freeze ever?" she demanded.

He shrugged grinning. "Impervious to cold?" he guessed.

She stared at him a moment, disbelieving, and then sighed. She put a hand on his shoulder, and looked like she was about to say something. Instead, she swept a leg behind his and knocked him on his back.

He yelled in surprise, but she just frowned down at him. "That is for stealing my popsicle."

Loki looked suddenly remorseful, but then lashed out with his own strike, landing her on the ground next to him. They laid there for a second, staring up into the sky, and then both burst into laughter.

Thor and Tony watched with identical dumbfounded looks. "Have you ever seen..." Thor asked faintly.

"No..." Tony said, equally astounded. "I wasn't sure if 'Agent Romanov' even knew the definition of the word fun."

Steve just chuckled and shook his head.

Clint, who had rushed up to the beach when he saw the fight start, scowled. Out in the water, Darcy attempted to stand on her surfboard, and promptly fell off. Maria tried to help her back up, but then strangely fell in as well. He sighed, gave one last suspicious glance back at Loki, and then dove in to swim back out.


That evening they had a bonfire down on the beach. Thor had been more than happy to regale them with some of the tales of Asgard—it turned out he was a talented storyteller. He insisted Loki was far better, but one look made it clear he was in no mood for entertaining. His third story quickly dissolved into a friendly debate about the ethics of lying to one's allies, with Tony, Darcy, Clint, and surprisingly Maria arguing that it was often necessary, and Thor, Jane, Pepper and unsurprisingly Steve arguing that lying is always wrong.

Loki, Natasha and Bruce stayed out of it. Natasha felt that ethics were never as simple as people liked to think. There were some situations where things were wrong, and others where the same things were right, and you often didn't know which it would be until you got there. Loki felt that ethics, on the whole, were silly. Bruce, on the whole, stayed out of debates.

"So tell me," Natasha leaned over to murmur to Loki, watching as Steve gestured wildly in response to something outrageous Tony said. "You said once that you have a preference for redheads. I'm assuming that implies I'm not the first."

Loki gave her a dubious look. "No, you're not."

She smiled. "So spill. I'd like to hear what some of these 'experiences I cannot imagine' are."

He continued to regard her with suspicion. "My counterpart's extensive research into the mating rituals of the human species indicates that discussion of prior females is a serious faux pas," he drawled.

She chuckled. "I'm not the jealous type."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, and what type are you then?"

Natasha propped her chin on a fist. "Curious."

He considered her a moment longer. "Alright, on your head be it then. There was a girl, in Asgard, called Lorelei. Very pretty, a bit like your Rita Hayworth in appearance, but not terribly smart," he began.

Natasha rolled her eyes. The girl in question was probably perfectly intelligent, but either Loki was trying to flatter her by comparison, or he was just being an ass. Probably the latter.

"She had a talent for desire," he went on, "and a short attention span. Given enough time, I'm sure she'll work her way through all of the eligible idiots in the court of Odin. At the time our story begins, though, she had her sights set on the most eligible idiot of all." Loki jerked his head slightly towards Thor, who sat next to him, but was still engaged in another conversation. "But it seems he was proving rather..."

"Difficult?" she suggested.

"Oblivious," he clarified. "At the time he held a candle for Lady Sif, but her affections were aimed elsewhere. So Lorelei came to me with a bargain: If I were to use my magic to assist her, she would convince the dolt to back me as Odin's successor. Of course, how could I refuse such an offer? I provided her with a perfume which would put him securely in her thrall."

"Did it work?" Natasha frowned. She didn't really like the idea of such a perfume, it seemed like cheating.

"Oh yes. But Lorelei quickly grew tired of his mindless obedience—it was the thrill of the chase she enjoyed. So next she set her sights on me. I didn't think much of it at the time, we had what you would call 'chemistry.' She was beautiful, truly, and I assumed she would not desire a lengthy arrangement. Unbeknownst to me, her older sister Amora, who had much the same talent, twice as much intelligence and a prodigious skill with magic to boot, had cast a spell on her to make her fall in love with me. They had quarreled, it seemed, and Amora felt that It would be a very fitting punishment for her to have a taste of her own medicine."

"But wait, what happened to Thor?" she asked, confused.

Loki grinned. "Oh, he was still her eager plaything. He ran all about the court, proclaiming that I should be the next King of Asgard. It was highly entertaining. Unfortunately, no one much bought it. Lady Sif called Lorelei's involvement into question, and he actually struck her, poor thing. Not that Sif couldn't handle it, of course, but she was very angry about it for some time. At this point Amora also grew suspicious, and having long desired him for herself, she sought to use her wiles and spells to take him from Lorelei. When she failed, she knew some stronger magic was at hand, and only one could have given Lorelei such a thing..."

"You, of course," she laughed.

Loki bowed with false modesty. "Why of course! Who else? So she plotted with Heimdall, who had seen Lorelei leave for my chambers only minutes before, to fool Thor into thinking that he had successfully convinced everyone that I should inherit the throne, and that I would love to hear the news from him immediately." He grinned.

"Oh, no," Natasha smiled in spite of herself.

"So he bursts in," Loki laughed, "While we're... what's the phrase? In flagrante delicto. And his first thought is that I've somehow bewitched her and taken advantage!"

"Oh god, the look on his face must have been..." she laughed.

"Priceless!" he agreed. "Fortunately, Lorelei managed to calm him down. But she was so high on her sense of control over him and Amora's infernal spell that she decided to pick up where we left off!"

"In front of him?" she asked incredulously.

"I told you she wasn't much for brains," Loki reminded her. He shook his head, remembering.

"So, what happened then?" Natasha encouraged him.

"Yes, brother, tell her how the story ends," Thor added, making Loki jump. He had turned his attention to them at the first mention of his name.

Loki looked back at Natasha, whose eyes sparkled with mischief. She had known all along, and had continued to ask leading questions to keep him distracted. Fortunately the others were still wrapped up in their own conversations.

"Shall I tell it?" Thor suggested.

"No, it's my story," Loki said, grudgingly impressed with Natasha's cunning. "This so infuriated Thor that he was able to fight through the influence of the perfume and threaten me into releasing him from the spell."

"Oh, you leave out the best part!" Thor insisted. He turned to Natasha, continuing gleefully. "I threw Mjolnir as hard and far as I could, and then grabbed Loki by the face," here he attempted to demonstrate, but Loki dodged his grasp and gave him a warning glare, "and said if he did not release me from the spell by the time Mjolnir returned to my hand, I would not be responsible for the consequences!"

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "That seems... A little harsh."

Thor nodded, chuckling. "It was a bluff, but he didn't call it. I was half out of my mind with desire and rage."

"What happened to Lorelei?" she asked.

Loki sighed. "Perhaps it was the illicit aspect of the relationship that drew me to her, or maybe Amora's spell caused her to grow 'clingy' as you say. After that I began to become irritated with her, and she far outstayed her welcome. She pulled a particularly brainless scheme to win my affections, and I forbade her from ever seeing me again. She went running to her sister, crying for Amora to make me her pawn, much as I had done to Thor. Instead, she lifted the spell she had already placed, letting Lorelei see what a fool she had been."

Natasha blinked for a moment. "Wow. Amora sounds like a real..."

"Bitch?" Loki suggested.

Thor laughed. "I thought you two were often allies?"

He grimaced. "We have cooperated, from time to time, when one of our spells required more skill or resources than either of us had alone, but it was always a grudging sort of thing, done only because we were closely matched in ability. No one else in Asgard would have suited."

"You mean no one else would go along with your schemes," Thor teased. "Tis true, though. With the exception of Father, you and she are likely the best with magic in the realm."

Meanwhile, Natasha was thinking. "It's a good story, but not 'unimaginable.'"

Loki rolled his eyes, but Thor looked interested. "Unimaginable?"

"Loki claims to have bedroom tales that would make me blush," she teased.

He grinned. "Indeed! Perhaps you should tell her about Sleip-"

At this Loki jumped up and clapped a hand over Thor's mouth, causing Jane, who hadn't been paying attention to them, to startle badly. "No," he said in a very quiet and dangerous voice.

Thor laughed behind his hand, but motioned that he agreed.

"I'm impressed, Thor, you actually have blackmail-worthy info on the god of mischief?" Natasha asked.

"He'll never use it, though," Jane added. She smiled at Loki nervously.

"Of course not," Thor patted her hand and chuckled.

Loki rolled his eyes and stalked off away from the bonfire.

Jane sent Natasha a sympathetic look, but she just shrugged and followed after him.


A/N: This is one of those chapters that I imagined early on, inspired by the song I paired with it. The story that Loki tells is from The Mighty Thor 359: In the Service of Loki and is mostly canon. I made up the ending, though, as the comics kind of neglect to mention what happened to Lorelei except for a vague comment from Loki that suggests he may have turned her into a statue and installed her in the garden. :/ It is my favorite, the very first Thor comic I bought, and the gem of my little collection (much of which is older than me lol).

Many thanks to the guest reviewer who wrote about homosexuality in Norse culture. I was referring specifically to lesbianism, so don't worry, what I said still stands. And no worries, I don't think I could change the story at this point if I wanted to!

Up next on Saturday, more fun with Femme Loki and Natasha in Chapter 50: A Novel Idea