A/N Hey guys! I have some bad news. I tried to write the epilepsy chapter but something like that holds too much power and emotion for a young inexperienced author like me, a thirteen year old cannot grasp that sort of feeling. And the second piece of bad news is...
This is the last chapter.
This feels wrong. Oh-so-very wrong Sirius's drunk brain commemorates as he grips his hands in Remus's hair. But, kissing Remus has never been wrong, it's always felt glorious, and Sirius can feel the love and emotion pouring from it, can feel Remus's legs wrapped around his waist and if he opens his eyes he'll see Remus's scrunched closed in that adorable way, but he if he opens his eyes now, he'll see a pair of watery blue eyes staring back at him, unblinking.
Remus has Amber eyes.
And Remus's mouth is somewhat occupied so he shouldn't be shouted his name.
And then his brain makes the connection.
Remus stands there for a few minutes, that's not Sirius he tries to convince himself, Sirius loves him, Sirius wouldn't do that to him, not at a party where he knows Remus would be. But it's hard to mistake that unruly hair or the fact he's wearing a t-shirt that Remus fucking bought him, or when he turns around and gasps Remus's name, looking at him in shock upon being found.
And then Remus truly knows it's Sirius, even though he really wants to believe that it's a mistake wrapped around some girl with blue eyes and straw coloured hair, blinking at him.
"Y-You cheated on me?" The words were supposed to be angry and vicious, dripping from his mouth nonchalantly like he didn't even care, but instead they seemed pathetic and small, echoing around the room that suddenly fell silent, leaving a bad taste in his mouth and tears stinging at the exquisite eyes that Sirius fell in love with.
"Remus! It's not like that! Fuck! I wouldn't-I couldn't-I don't even"
"Save it." There it is again. The sad defeated sort of tone creeping back into his voice as he turns his back, he knew this would have happened, you don't get a guy as gorgeous as Sirius Black to be willing to go out with him. He's just Remus Lupin. He's unattractive. Smart to the point of ridiculousness. He isn't funny. He isn't athletic. He's just that. Just Remus Lupin.
He should be thankful it lasted this long anyway.
He elbows his way through people who are all staring at him with pity, as if they know him well enough to pity him, he's just another part of the food chain to them. He's insignificant, only known because of the twins. And Sirius. Being Sirius Black's boyfriend gets a lot of publicity.
And that makes tears flow down his tears like the fucking Nigeria Falls so he breaks into a run, sprinting towards the front door and out of the garden jumping the gate like one of his hurdles in his goddamn track club, he rubs a hand over his wet eyes and doesn't stop until he reaches the bloody bus stop outside his school, he's about 10 minutes from his house but he can't bring himself to trudge home, knowing the minute he crawls into bed and falls asleep it'll all be over. And he'd be lying if he said he hoped Sirius hadn't followed him.
"Remus! Remus! Stay there! God I'm sorry Remus!" Sirius yells and he's beside him, kneeling down, hugging him and Remus lets him. He tastes like strawberry lipgloss and alcohol and Remus pulled away even though he really doesn't want to do anything other than fall into Sirius's arms and listen to his false promises and sweet nothing, believing every single word he breathes. But he can't.
"NO! God! You! You can't just kiss me and make everything all bloody right Sirius! Because-because you cheated on me!" And then he really breaks down, falling forward into Sirius's arms and just fucking sobbing.
"Oh god! Oh god I did. I'm sorry. I'm drunk. I'm so very drunk and I thought it was you and Oh god I'm sorry. I'll never do it again." And there's a truth in Sirius's voice and Remus wants so desperately to believe that but he can't , he just can't, because Sirius kissed someone else. Fucking fuck fuckity fuck.
Remus pulls away and wraps his arms around his small lithe body, stepping away from Sirius and not looking him eye, "I think we should break up." He mumbled to the floor.
"What! God No Remus! Anything but that! No you can't! I'm sorry Remus. I'm so desperately sorry!" And Sirius is crying too, big drops of salty tears that run down his face and land on his white t-shirt, glistening in the moonlight like pearls. Remus wonders if he can make crying look as romantic as Sirius.
"I'm sorry."
"What? No! Remus! You can't! You-you just can't! It's us, Remus. You can't end us! We're Remus and Sirius. We're forever!" Sirius crumbles to his knees, taking Remus's limp hand and smothering it in kisses, but Remus just looks down at him, his eyes dead and lifeless behind the coating of tears, Sirius can't see any emotion behind his eyes, and with a few more tears Sirius realises Remus is putting his walls up again. Blocking his emotions from the surface. And he can't do this.
"I love you." Remus says, his voice a monotone. Like a recording. Like a robot.
"Then stay with me! Oh god! I love you Remus! Don't leave me! Oh god don't leave me." Remus looks down at the hand Sirius has trapped in his own and Sirius somewhat dejectedly lets it go where it hangs lifeless by Remus's side.
"I can't."
"What? No! Remus you can't! Please! Please don't leave me! Please! Please don't!" Sirius's mind seems to have registered what's going on a sobered up slightly, and when Remus falls into his arms beside him in the slush, he realises he may just have a chance.
"I want to. But I can't. I just can't! Why can't I leave you?!" Remus sobs into Sirius's chest.
Sirius smiles sadly, the tears still rolling down his face, "You can't leave me, because your my forever." And then he kisses Remus and even though Sirius eyes are open and wet, Remus's are scrunched closed that way that Sirius lives for. And even though Remus's arms are by his side and Sirius's are on the small of his back pushing him into the kiss, and their both kneeling in the slush beside a bus stop that reads 'James was Here' accompanied by several other 'objects' that Remus doesn't really like to think about its still sweet and cute and utterly Remus.
And it's okay. Because even though Remus doesn't forgive him, he's still his forever. He can still call the smart boy, that's too small for his age, with the amber eyes that light up when he sees Sirius and can make a whole room light up, his own.
And that's all that really matters.
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A/N, okay guys! That's the end of bowling! Thank you everyone who stuck around and I'll be posting more stories very soon, so please please follow me and check them out! In the original of this chapter they didn't get back together but I couldn't do that to you. I might add a sequel at their wedding but maybe not. I've got a couple in progress and if anyone ships TeddyxAl then please check out bittersweet or if your in an angsty mood then Kiss me is cry worthy or How To Shut Up Sirius Black is a bit of a parody if you want a giggle, or, if you want a chat, please PM me.
~3 Lupin3Black. 3~
