Gajeel slipped through the auditorium doors quietly, pressing a hand to the door jamb to keep the click from echoing through the hall. Music blasting from the stage told him that Levy was dancing, and had already fallen to darkness as Izanami. Seeing her solo performance in its entirety at the first public performance was amazing, and every chance since then, Gajeel snapped up the opportunity. He couldn't get enough of watching her. The way she moved was enticing, alluring. She had an unearthly grace, a fluidity that put water to shame. She was light on her feet, and moved almost as if gravity just didn't affect her. Levy was petite perfection, almost like a living fairy. Gajeel could spend forever just watching her.
Loud opera music mingled with violins and pianos, and Gajeel took a seat in the last row, smiling as he watched Levy move on stage. Today was the day a panel of judges was coming to give her feedback on her solo. Levy had this particular Monday circled on her calendar for weeks… There were two public practice performances left before her final performance in January for the scouts, and her trainer had set up a trial judging for today. Margaret had said it was 'a marvelous opportunity to get professional advice to perfect her routine and hone her skills.' Gajeel thought it was all a load of shit. Levy was the most talented, breathtaking dancer in all of Fiore, but leave it to those stuffed up tight asses to find something to critique.
He was more than happy to be here to see her perform again… After a stressful day at work, watching his girl dance was the best way to end the afternoon. Sting's idea to start doing vehicle customizations had backfired big time. The new guy he hired was a complete idiot. When he wasn't breaking something, he was sitting in the back eating. The moron ate more than Dragneel… Gajeel and Rogue had way too much fun mimicking him (okay, mostly Gajeel—Rogue just laughed). Even Sting eventually gave up and joined in the fun, finally deciding to fire the imbecile.
A cool draft blew from the side door of the auditorium, and Gajeel shifted to tighten his jacket. Summer had bowed out, greeting autumn with a heavy rainstorm. The leaves were beginning to turn and the sizzling heat of the sun dwindled into a crisp wind. Levy was loving it. Apparently cooler weather made practice that much more enjoyable. Her long-sleeved leotard was covered by a short wrap skirt, and thigh-high leggings kept her legs warm.
Levy lifted elegantly on pointe, extending her legs as she stood straight and moved in a pirouette. Watching her stand on pointe would never fail to impress him. Levy had told him once that if you weren't careful, you could seriously hurt yourself. She knew someone that was dancing in a pair of shoes that didn't fit properly, and when the girl had tried to go on pointe, her ankle shattered. Gajeel winced just thinking about it…
The music faded to a close, and the four judges clapped. Levy was nearly out of breath, and she ran to the edge of the stage, grabbing a water bottle from Margaret and taking a large gulp. Gajeel could hear the judges from where he sat.
"Beautiful work in the transition."
An older man nodded. "Very fluid. I think where you devéloppé and then pirouette needs a bit more refining. You know the sequence?" Levy nodded, still out of breath. "It was a bit rushed. Work on spotting, that will help with the turns. Also here…" He replayed portion of the music, and Levy helpfully performed the movement he mentioned. "Right there. You're bringing your leg down too harshly. Graceful, slow…. That's it, much better."
A younger woman smiled and shuffled through her notes. "You know, I think you really are something special. I do agree with Sean's notes, but I think that you have something very special about you that many scouts will be looking for."
Gajeel smiled proudly.
"However," she continued, "there are some points when you're in jeté that you're arching your spine too much. Extend the legs, spine long, and stretch the arms overhead in the fifth."
And just like that the smile was gone. Gajeel scowled. Morons—all of them. They were still able to find something that needed correcting? Seriously? She was perfect! More than perfect!
The judges all finished critiquing, and Levy thanked them as they filed out. Finally, after Margaret left, Gajeel descended toward the stage. Levy sat on the edge of the stage, guzzling water and munching on a granola bar and some grapes—her post-rehearsal snack of choice. She gave him a tired smile and popped another grape into her mouth when he sat beside her, his legs dangling off the stage edge alongside hers.
"That was incredible, Lev."
She huffed. "I don't feel like it was… There were more comments than I was hoping for…" She pulled her hair free from its bun, tying her favorite headband around her head to keep her wild blue curls out of her eyes.
"Listen, those freaks don't know what they're talking about. You were perfect! I can't believe they found a single thing to piss on!"
Levy giggled, much to his relief, and handed him a grape. "Well, they are professionals, so I'm sure they know what they're talking about. But thank you. I'll just have to keep working and try harder!" Levy pulled him close and kissed his cheek, then leaned into his chest. Silently, Gajeel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap, and Levy buried her nose in his shirt. "You smell like motor oil."
"Sorry, I didn't have a chance to change after work."
Levy shook her head. "It smells nice. Like you. It's comforting."
Gajeel snorted and chuckled. "Never heard that one before, but I'll take it."
Levy slapped his arm playfully and pulled away, drinking another sip of water. It was a small change, but Gajeel still noticed that the twinkle in her eye when she danced was missing. That spark of passion was steadily leaving her. He frowned and reached out to cup her cheek, brushing his thumb across her skin. "You okay, shrimp?"
She swallowed and nodded briskly, flashing him a shaky smile. "I'm fine! I have a ton of homework though, so we should probably get out of here."
Gajeel didn't look convinced, but he nodded nonetheless. He waited patiently for her to take off her pointe shoes (the new set of blisters marring her small feet made him grimace) and slip into her usual fleece boots. She never bothered to change clothes, instead staying in her leotard, skirt, and leg-warmers. After putting her shoes, water bottle, and all of her usual practice necessities into her ballet bag, she stood up and stretched her arms over her head.
"Ready?"
"Yup!" Levy looked at her phone. "It's only five o'clock! Rehearsal ended early today. I can eat dinner at a normal time!"
Gajeel took her bag from her hands, ignoring her protests, and followed her to the exit. She took off like a speeding bullet to the door, almost like she was ready to get away from practice, from ballet, and Gajeel let her take the lead. Although, if he were being honest, his reason wasn't purely innocent. Walking behind her meant he had a glorious view of her backside as she climbed the stairs.
The autumn air smacked Levy in the face when she stepped out onto the sidewalk. The setting sun cast a golden glow over her skin, illuminating her freckles and honey-brown eyes in a radiant light. Wind tousled her curls, making her shiver. Gajeel quirked a brow.
"I—" Another gust of wind. "I forgot my jacket."
Enough said. Wordlessly, he slipped his jacket off his shoulders. Admittedly it was his favorite article of clothing, but he couldn't find a better piece to give to her. Levy stammered when he draped the warm jacket over her shoulders. "Keep it," he grunted.
"Gajeel—" Levy pulled it close when a cold wind blew past.
"No buts. I want you to have it." Gajeel zipped the jacket, adjusting it so it sat square on her frame. "It's my favorite, so take good care of it, okay?"
She wasn't sure, but she almost thought he was blushing as he took her hand and led the way to his complex. She kind of felt bad about taking his jacket—his muscled arms were bare and exposed to the elements, but he didn't seem the least bit cold. The jacket really was wonderful… It was warm and well worn, the material soft. There was a hole in the bottom hem on the front, and the once black dye had long since faded to charcoal. While it fit Gajeel to perfection, it nearly swallowed her, reaching well past her butt, though she didn't mind. It even smelled of him—pine and motor oil and cologne. Rustic like the earth and comforting like a warm fire.
"Can we get some coffee before we go to your place?"
Gajeel laughed. "Anything for my girl."
They'd been dating for a few months now, and those months had been the best of Gajeel's life. Levy brought a peace into his tormented soul he'd never known. They were constantly together. Every day, he met her at practice and walked her home, and most of the time they would hang out together afterward. He knew her like the back of his hand. He knew her expressions, the way she would squeak and blush when he said something perverted, her little habit of playing with her hair when she was nervous, or how she would get caught up in a book she was reading and chew on her lip. He loved how when he kissed her she would sigh against him and get as close as was physically possible, or how she'd curl her toes when he bit that one spot on her neck.
Gajeel loved her so wholly… Her mind, her heart, her body. They hadn't even slept together… Gajeel was sure his former self would have already, but now he just wanted to cherish her and take his time. He wanted her to know how he felt, and that he loved her. Kissing her was amazing, and he could run his hands over her ass all day long. But what he felt for her was so beyond physical.
They reached the coffee shop, and Gajeel pushed his thoughts aside as he opened the door for Levy and followed her inside. She ordered a latte (which Gajeel insisted on paying for) while he waited by the counter. He didn't really want anything to drink—he had bad heartburn, and his loss of appetite made a hot beverage sound so unappealing it almost made him queasy just thinking about it. These newer symptoms were hell… At his appointment that morning, Porlyusica had refilled his prescriptions (apparently they were running out of options on the medications he could try), and when she asked Gajeel what newer symptoms he had experienced since their last appointment, she was highly concerned to hear about his trouble swallowing.
Though fatigue was still a huge issue, and newer symptoms were popping up left and right, the stomach pain was by far the worst. It had become unbearable… And since his diagnosis, he'd lost ten pounds. Now, Gajeel was a muscular guy, still was to a degree, so the change in weight wasn't too drastic, but he could see it. His cheeks had thinned and hollowed out, his cheekbones jutting out a bit too dramatically. His body felt thinner too, and he felt weaker.
Gajeel gasped and wrapped his arms around his midsection as another wave of pain wracked his body, spreading from his stomach through to his chest. He doubled over, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead—not good. He was starting to feel the pain in his chest. Porlyusica had warned him that his cancer would spread into his lungs. Looks like that was going to be a reality.
Levy returned to him with her coffee cup, beaming up at him as she took a sip. Gajeel was quick to wipe the ragged pain from his face, taking a deep breath and smiling down at her.
"Let's go, shrimp."
Levy giggled and walked alongside him out of the coffee shop and down the sidewalk. She quirked a brow when his hand trembled against her waist. "Gajeel? Your hands are shaking, are you alright?" She gasped. "You look a bit pale!"
Gajeel chuckled, scratching at the stud against his nose. "I'm fine, shrimp! Probably just hungry." Lies. The thought of food was…awful, to say the least. "I'll get something to eat when we get home."
Though she didn't look convinced, Levy nodded and wrapped an arm around his waist. "So did you go to lunch with the guys again today?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Damn guys are crazy, but it ain't too bad."
Since Levy's performance a few weeks ago, Gajeel had been going to lunch after Macao's class with Natsu and Gray. They were boisterous—well, mostly Natsu—and loud, and completely insane, but they were actually fun to be around.
They reached Gajeel's complex and took the elevator to his floor. As the usual routine dictated, Gajeel opened the door and set his books down, and Pantherlily clambered into Levy's arms happily as she pulled out her textbooks to start studying. Levy set to work on completing all her homework, then studying for an exam she had coming up. Gajeel had less homework, and he finished earlier than she did, so he was content to just sit by her and rest. He may have to call in tomorrow…Sting would understand. Taking a ragged breath, he cracked an eye open at Levy.
He loved how she bit her lip when she studied, how she pushed her reading glasses up on the bridge of her nose while she read, scribbling something down in her notebook. She would mutter to herself as she read, probably without realizing. These little moments were precious, and Gajeel loved how some of her belongings had gotten scattered in his place—books here and there, creating cozy places that were once empty and barren.
It became clear that she would be there for a while, so Gajeel went to order some dinner. It was a good night for pizza…a cool autumn rain fell steadily outside, and even though he wasn't hungry, he had to feed his girl. He'd be damned if she went hungry—he had to take care of her, first and foremost. After ordering a large pepperoni pizza—Levy's personal favorite—he cracked open a beer and eased onto the couch beside her.
"Okay, I need a break…" Levy pulled her glasses off and shut her notebook, laying her head in his lap. She giggled. "You can only handle so much studying at a time." Levy smiled sweetly when he took her hand in his, pulling her palm up to his lips. "Have you been alright lately? You've seemed so tired."
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!
Gajeel froze momentarily, thinking of all the lies he could tell her. She'd know he was lying if he told her he wasn't tired. Gajeel was pretty certain that was written all over his damn face.
"Just haven't been getting enough sleep." He scratched the back of his neck and chuckled. "All this rain has been scarin' the shit out of Lily. He keeps waking me up."
Levy laughed, nodding, and Gajeel took a mental sigh of relief. He was safe—for now. For a while they just lay there in silence, enjoying a peaceful moment without ballet. No books, no studying, no cancer. With Levy, Gajeel was never a boy with cancer in love with an angel…he was just a guy in love. A normal guy. It was both a liberating feeling and a sobering one. Yes, he felt free and at peace. But it was a constant reminder of the lie he'd fed her.
After pizza arrived, and Gajeel forced himself to eat at least one slice, Levy removed her leg-warmers—a sight too sensual for Gajeel—and curled into her boyfriend's side, finishing up the final amount of her homework.
"Done!" Levy beamed and set her notebook on the coffee table, reaching over to scratch Pantherlily's head in the process. She noticed a small album on the bottom shelf of the table. "What's this?"
Gajeel loosened his arm where it rested around her shoulder and craned his neck around to see what she was pointing to. "Oh, it's an old album from my foster care days." Her hesitant eyes shifted back to the album, and he barked out a laugh. "Go ahead, I don't care."
Levy reached forward and took the album before settling into his side again. Gajeel smiled, kissing the top of her head, before pulling her into his lap. Warm arms snaked around her waist, and once she was comfortable, she opened the book.
Page by page, the smile on her face fell. Photos of Gajeel in different homes—almost every photo featured a different family. One photo of him amidst a group of kids. He stuck out like a sore thumb, looking miserable and angry. A hateful scowl etched its way onto his face from such an early age… The only picture in which he didn't look completely wrecked was the one with him and Juvia, but he still looked mad. He was also stud-free, and there were no scars. Levy had to wonder how those came to be.
"This was my final foster family." He pointed to a nice enough looking couple, standing by Gajeel.
"They look pretty nice."
He snorted. "Yeah, well a picture only captures one moment. Can you also see the bruise under my eye?" Her face fell and she nodded. "They told the photographer I ran into a basketball pole."
Levy frowned, turning another page. The next photo took her breath. A young, terrified-looking Gajeel stood beside a man whose twisted face rivaled that of the grim reaper. His thin mustache curled over even thinner lips, and his dark hair was pulled back so tight it made his narrow eyes seem to stretch. His gaze was cold as ice, and darker than night. The smile he wore held no happiness, only some twisted sort of pleasure.
"Who…" Levy brushed the photo. "Who's this?"
Briefly, he tensed behind her, finally sighing and resting his chin on her head. "Jose Porla. He's the man that adopted me out of foster care."
"Why do you look so terrified?"
"Because he was threatening to kill me if I didn't take that picture." Levy gasped, and he sighed. "The bastard adopted me for the sole purpose of aiding in his drug deals. I was how he smuggled them between locations. He was a drug lord, and a murderer."
Levy turned wide eyes on him. "That's horrible!"
"Yeah. He used to beat the shit out of me, nearly every day. Wanted to teach me how to fight like a champion." Gajeel held out his arm in front of her, pointing to a thin scar running the length of his bicep. "That was training, as he'd called it." Levy's delicate fingers brushed the scar with an aching tenderness that made his heart flutter. He cleared his throat. "Days when he was drinking were the worst. Damn near killed me."
"Gajeel…"
He smirked and cupped her jaw, angling her head so she could meet his eyes. "I'm fine, shrimp. That was a long time ago."
"But… Is he going to try to hurt you again?"
"Turn the page."
Levy blinked and turned to the next page in the book, reading the headline of the newspaper clipping. Arrested for drug dealing, murder and abduction? "Whoa…" The next clipping read 'Jose Porla, inmate in Fiore prison, murdered in gang fight.'
"See?" he murmured against her ear. "Told ya it's okay."
Levy blinked as he kissed her temple, her cheek, her jawline, his hand caressing her cheek where he held her still. "What about your biological dad?" she asked softly.
His lips stilled against her neck, and Gajeel pulled away. Levy turned in his lap to face him. His scarlet eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn't place. Hatred? Anger? No—hurt.
"Left me. When I was seven." He laughed bitterly. "Guess he thought I wasn't worth stickin' around for."
Soft fingers brushed the scar on his wrist. "I'm here for you. And I think you're worth sticking around for."
And then she smiled and pulled him down to kiss his lips, and his soul tore in two.
He'd never felt so exposed before. Talking about his past was like ripping open ancient wounds and pouring salt on tender flesh. It hurt, deep in a part of his heart he'd long since locked away. Pain of not being wanted ran deep, and had lasting scars that weren't visible to just anyone. But Levy… She reached into the depths of his soul, the darkest parts of him, and embraced all his pain, all his scars. She covered his wounds with delicate warmth and unbridled love, like a bandage. Slowly, she was somehow making him feel like he belonged somewhere. For the first time in his life he felt wanted.
Nothing sexual, nothing promiscuous. He felt needed. He felt desired. He felt precious in her eyes. He felt loved. A deeper part of him lay open and raw, and while most people turned away from his brokenness, she only held him closer. In a life that was constantly pushing him down, Levy lifted him up and made him feel like he was the greatest man alive. He felt, for the first time in his life (however fleeting it may be), like he was worth something.
"I love you."
Three words. Simple and to the point. They held so much power, and yet they were cast about so easily. But he meant it, with every fiber of his being. He loved her more than she would ever know. Her cheeks flushed, her eyes widened, and just when he was worried that he'd said those precious words too soon, she flashed him the most breathtaking smile he'd ever seen. It reached her eyes, lighting up her face and making her eyes crinkle. She kissed him, their lips crashing together as her arms circled his neck, her hands tangling in his long hair. Gajeel was stunned only for a moment. All he could think, all he could see and feel, was her.
He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, breathing hard and rubbing his nose against hers, mindful of the studs. "Lev… Does this mean—"
"I love you, too." She kissed him again. "You should know that by now."
Surely he was drowning… This feeling was too much. He smiled, laughing happily like some damn schoolgirl when she pushed him down on the couch and crawled over him. Hungry kisses stole her every breath, greedy hands took in her curves, the arc of her spine, the softness of her rear. Velvet kisses deepened, tongues explored, teeth grazed flesh. Delicate hands smoothed over his tanned skin with a feather-light touch, caressing all his aching muscles, the studs and scars marring his skin… Everywhere she touched burned as if set on fire. Gajeel growled, pulling her tighter against him, and he smirked when Levy gasped as he kissed the freckles under her collar bone.
"Levy…" Gajeel curled his fingers into her hair. "Lev, I love you."
He kissed her like his life depended on it. It was drugging, desperate, and easily the happiest feeling Gajeel had ever felt. Hands fisted in hair, caressed skin and squeezed here and there. Each time his lips touched hers grew more intense than the last, leaving her breathless and weak. The world could have stopped spinning, time could have frozen entirely, and neither of them would have ever noticed. Kissing her was always electric, enticing. Their lips fit together like perfect puzzle pieces. But now…knowing she felt the same way he did… It made the experience intoxicating, bringing their connection to an emotional level. He felt her love through each kiss, each caress, and it only made the fire burning for her in his heart grow hotter.
"Gajeel—"
Either he didn't hear her or her ignored her. He breathed her in and wove his fingers through her hair at the base of her skull. He reveled in her gasp when he tugged her hair, pulling her head back to devour the skin of her neck. The taste of her skin was perfection…
"Gajeel… It's getting late…"
"No." He murmured against her skin, nipping just under her ear. "You're not goin' anywhere, shorty."
Levy giggled. "I have to go home, Gajeel."
His tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat, and she gasped. "No. I'm keeping you here."
"Gajeel!" She shivered against him when he bit the junction of her neck and shoulder gently."I really have to go…"
He stilled against her skin, took a breath, and sighed. "What time is it?"
"Midnight."
Damn. Gajeel kissed her once more and loosened his hold on her. "Fine. I'll go a whole night without kissing you…"
"You only like me for my kisses…" she said, playfully, as she stood and pulled on her (his) jacket.
Gajeel looked thoughtful, scratching the studs on his chin. "That's not true. Your ass is nice, too."
Levy reddened. "St— Stupid Gajeel!"
By the time they made it to her apartment, Levy had another hickey marring the skin of her neck, and she was followed by a very smug Gajeel. Levy blushed and sighed as she unlocked her front door. "Seriously, Gajeel… Margaret will see this."
"Good." He leaned in close and eyed her dangerously. "Everyone will know to keep their hands off. You're mine, shrimp."
Such a possessive streak… She giggled and smiled sweetly. "Will I see you in the morning?"
"Of course, Lev." He kissed her, his lips lingering on her skin too long. The longer he kissed her, the harder it was to force himself to stop. It was a herculean effort as it was… Refraining from…well, anything involving Levy was damn near impossible.
"I love you, Gajeel."
And then he pressed his lips to her temple, the lust-fueled fire in his stomach dying down to such an intense love it could've buckled his knees. He really was turning into a damn chick… Never in a million years would he get tired of hearing that.
He smirked, kissed her forehead, and pulled her into his arms for the final time that night. "I love you too, Lev."
The next morning, Gajeel practically had to crawl out of bed. He nearly threw up when he reached the bathroom, but thankfully he was able to hold in what little was in his stomach. After shooting Sting a quick text, he was slowly trudging into the kitchen to find his medications. Sting had given him a code to text, which sounded so dumb at first. But it was looking more and more genius as time passed. When Gajeel told them of his diagnosis, Sting made him promise that if he was ever too exhausted and needed an off day to just text him a black flag emoji. Lately that emoji was showing up more and more in his recently used feed…
His phone vibrated, and he unlocked the screen to read Sting's reply, which simply said "rest well and take it easy."
Gajeel popped the lid off the first bottle, swallowing a horse-sized pill for stomach pain. He took three to four of these a day, depending on his pain level. Next was a series of smaller pills for various things—fatigue, nausea, heartburn, etc. The finale of his morning medicine routine was the newest addition. An injection with an even stronger painkiller. It had gotten so bad that he was having to take oral pills as well as at-home injections…and the stomach pain was still present. Not all day, but it fought its way in there somewhere. Porlyusica had said up front that this wouldn't eliminate the pain completely, only ease it. Gajeel lifted his shirt, removing the cap on the syringe and hissing when the needle pierced the skin of his stomach. The needle wasn't bad, but the medicine stung like a bitch…
After grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, and texting Levy good morning, he smiled. He felt like shit…but maybe he could just go pick Lev up from her yoga class and have some coffee… Then he could come home and rest. Memories of the previous night rushed back to him, and he felt light and happy all over again.
"I love you."
He'd never expected that she would ever reciprocate his feelings. The feeling of being loved was so new and wonderful…he was floating on a cloud. He'd never come down from this high. Yeah, going out just to get coffee with Levy wouldn't hurt. Then he could come home and sleep for the day. He just had to see her…
Gajeel slipped on his combat boots and pulled on a jacket, slowly making his way to the door. He sorted through his school bag and pulled out his keys, but a squeaky meow stopped him. He blinked and looked down to where Pantherlily was sitting, perfectly poised atop a paper on the floor by the entry table. Gajeel laughed and picked up the large cat.
"Seriously…are you even male?"
He could've sworn that cat narrowed his eyes.
Gajeel scratched Lily's head and looked down at the paper he'd been sitting on. He bent over to pick it up, hissing and grasping at his stomach when he twisted wrong, and straightened. It was the list of chemotherapy treatment options Porlyusica had given him so many months ago—the same list that went flying into the dance studio where he met Levy.
His eyes narrowed as he read the sheet, his gaze lingering a bit too long on one of the options. He scowled and set the paper down.
No. Those are dangerous thoughts.
A/N: Hello again! I hope everyone enjoyed today's chapter. This is one I was really excited about. I loved writing the scenes where we see glimpses of Gajeel's past. I just adore him 3
Anyway, leave a review if you'd like! I love to hear from you! I hope everyone has a wonderful week. See you on Friday! :)
