CHAPTER THIRTEEN
No better way to start a morning than with falling out of bed. Gajeel hadn't had a decent night's sleep in two weeks, and his energy had reached an all time low. When he woke up, the pain in his stomach was intense, and his nausea had lurched him out of bed, promptly propelling him toward the ground. He was lightheaded and sore, shaky with exhaustion.
After making it to the kitchen to take his morning round of medications, he slowly trudged back into his bedroom and crawled back into bed. He was going to have to find a new place to keep his medications… He sent a text to Sting, the usual black flag emoji being the only content of the message, and then went back to sleep. Sleep found him easily, surprisingly, and he managed to sleep for another couple of hours.
When his phone rang, he'd grumbled, jumping awake and nearly snarling at the offending device. Then Levy's name lit up the screen, and his blood ran cold. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. How could he forget to tell her that he wasn't going to meet her? He didn't text her once that morning, and he was supposed to have met her for coffee. Gajeel lunged at the phone, nearly knocking it off the night stand. After blinking the sleep from his eyes, he pressed the green button.
"Hello?" Great, he sounded just as groggy as he felt.
"Gajeel? Where are you?"
He sighed, hissing when he tried to stand and toppled back onto the mattress. "Sorry. I overslept."
He could hear the worry in her voice. "Is everything okay? You sound exhausted."
"I just didn't sleep well last night." He yawned. "Don't worry about it, shorty."
Levy was quiet for a moment. Then she sighed. "Gajeel, has something been going on? You've been looking kind of rough lately. Do you have insomnia?"
Gajeel swallowed a few pills and washed them down with water. He snorted. "I wouldn't call it insomnia, but I don't sleep well, that's for sure." Gajeel grinned. "Maybe you could help with that, eh?"
"Stupid Gajeel!" He could practically see her blushing now. "Idiot… Maybe you should call in sick today and just rest?"
"Already did. I'll be fine, shrimp. I'm just tired."
Levy didn't sound convinced, and after a lengthy pause, she made a triumphant ah-ha. "I'll come by after rehearsal tonight and cook dinner! I'll take care of you and make sure you feel better."
And that was all it took for his brain to short-circuit. Images of Levy in a tiny nurse outfit flooded his mind. She'd come take care of him? There was a lot of ways she could 'take care of him,' and though he was certain she didn't mean it how he was thinking, it was still damn sexy. In his mind, Levy would come by wearing one of those halloween costumes, one that barely covered anything, and she'd 'nurse' him back to health…with her mouth. Then again, if she came in sweatpants and a hoodie and made him homemade soup, he would still be just as in love.
He'd turned into some lovesick, smitten little shit.
"Ya don't have to." Gajeel burrowed back under the covers and groaned at the pounding headache. Lack of sleep always gave him a headache straight from hell…
"I want to! Just rest today, and I'll see you tonight. Anything specific you want to eat?"
Oh, that one was just so easy… You, his brain supplied. Gajeel had to bite his tongue. "Anything is fine, Lev."
"Well I'll surprise you, then!"
She could have made him a frozen pizza and he'd still love it. Cancer had effectively destroyed his appetite over a month ago, but he wouldn't tell Levy that. Whatever food he could scarf down, he would. If it meant keeping her happy and unburdened with the knowledge of his cancer, he'd eat everything in the Blue Pegasus store room. He'd eat a home cooked meal from his girlfriend. Besides, a night of being pampered by Levy sounded like the perfect distraction.
By the time Levy knocked on his door, Gajeel had slept for several more hours, and almost to his disappointment, he felt fine. Aside from the usual symptoms that were constantly plaguing his system, he was well rested and his headache had gone away. Not to mention, after another injection and his second (of three, now that Porlyusica had upped his dosage) round of pills, his nausea had settled and his pain had lessened to a more manageable level. He had more energy than usual, too, which was odd. According to Porlyusica, cancer went in weird stages. One day you felt like death was knocking at your door, and the next you could feel okay. Not great, but well enough. And today, after lots of medicine and a hefty nap, Gajeel was feeling pretty decent.
Not that he wasn't happy to be feeling better…but not feeling terrible shot his Nurse Levy fantasy straight to hell.
Gajeel opened the door, hungry eyes raking over her form before pulling her into his arms. Always a sight for sore eyes… Tight, cotton yoga shorts with an oversized sweater. He would've been worried about her being too cold if it weren't for the long coat and thigh-high socks. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss to his jaw—the highest she could reach.
Damn, she smelled so good…
"How are you feeling?"
She said something, right? Was it just his imagination? Gajeel cleared his throat, burying his nose in her hair. Roses and coconut enveloped his senses, and his eyes rolled back.
"Gajeel?"
He blinked. "Sorry. You smell so good…" I bet you feel even better… "I actually feel great. I got plenty of sleep so I feel fine. Sorry ya wasted your time."
Levy slapped him across the chest. "I did not waste my time! I'll still cook dinner if that's okay?"
"As if you had to ask."
Levy smiled and pulled the scarf from around her neck. "I'm glad you're feeling better! I was—oh!"
Gajeel's hands slid down her back to cup her rear, squeezing softly as he lifted her into his arms. Levy was blushing so hard her neck was burning, but when Gajeel carried her inside, kicking the door shut with his foot and kissing her so deeply and hungrily that it made her heart skip a beat, she found no reason to complain. Gajeel backed her against the front door, holding her up with his knee and his own weight pushed against her. His tongue found her pulse thrumming under the skin of her neck, and her head fell to the side, hands fisting in his shirt where they gripped at the back of his neck.
"G-Gajeel…"
His hands squeezed the backs of her thighs, pulling them higher on his waist. She gasped, he smirked. "Levy?"
She'd gone to the farmers market and bought all her ingredients for dinner, had meticulously planned her meal to his tastes, and she refused to let her efforts go to waste. That, and she wanted to know with certainty that he was eating properly. If he'd been sleeping all day, it was highly unlikely he'd gotten up to eat.
With great effort, Levy pulled away, pressing her hand to his lips gently. She giggled when he sucked a finger into his mouth, completely undeterred by her attempt to stop him.
"Ah, ah… Dinner first, this," she waggled her finger between them, "later."
Gajeel didn't know what 'this' entailed, but he wanted to find out. He sighed and set her down, and as his nurse instructed, he went to get a shower while Levy made dinner. Truth be told, it was nice to just stand under the hot water and let the steam loosen the tension knots in his muscles. By the time he finished, he felt ten times better. And, dinner was done. He wouldn't be able to eat much of it, but it still smelled good.
He entered the kitchen—Levy was stretching, extending her leg while she stirred whatever was in the pot on the stove. Gajeel just watched her for a bit. There was never a time when she truly just relaxed. She was always rehearsing or thinking about how she could change her training program to make her routine more polished. And even when she wasn't in ballet mode, she was studying or doing homework. The girl had no off switch.
Watching her made him think of the chemotherapy sheet. Lately, he'd been thinking more and more about it… A small part of him was starting to imagine what life would be like. Cancer free with the girl of his dreams? Oh, man…
"Smells good." Gajeel wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed the top of her head. "What is it?"
"Chicken soup, with lots of veggies!"
Of course it was chicken soup. He accepted a bowl, eating as much as his stomach could handle. Levy saved the extras in a plastic container so he could have more tomorrow. Apparently when she was growing up, her grandmother made her chicken soup whenever she felt sick.
After dinner, Levy forced Gajeel to go rest while she cleaned up in the kitchen. Even though he tried to help her, she just pushed him out of the kitchen and took to cleaning the stove and counters. Finally, he gave up trying altogether. He still had that promise to continue earlier events, so was good to relax on the couch. When Levy finally decided to join him, she didn't say anything, instead crawling onto the couch and laying against his chest, looking down at him with a sweet smile.
"I'm glad you're feeling better."
His eyes softened. "I feel great, Lev."
Levy leaned down to kiss him. Something about the mood today was different than usual. There was something more electric. Heavy. Her gaze locked with his, and he swallowed. Definitely different. Gajeel met her lips with a heated kiss, one turning into two, then three. His lips sought hers endlessly, his hands gripping her sides and pulling her flush against his chest.
Gajeel didn't know how long they'd been there. An hour, a few minutes—it was all just a blur of time. Each time he kissed her his mind went blank, his kisses more intense. Levy squeaked when he flipped them over, crawling over her and trailing his lips down her neck. His teeth grazed her throat, his hands roamed her body. Scarlet eyes hesitantly met hers when his hands ghosted over the edge of her shirt, silently begging for permission.
"Why'd you stop?"
His eyes snapped open. This was uncharted territory. So far they'd done nothing but kiss. Sure, he'd gotten handsy a few times, and he was constantly joking about it, but dreaming about it and doing it were two different things entirely. Sex wasn't something they'd actually talked about. Gajeel was ready—he'd been ready since the day Levy agreed to date him. He'd wanted her for so long, he couldn't remember what not wanting her felt like.
But he didn't know if Levy was ready. And no matter how damn ready he was, there was no way in hell he'd make her feel uncomfortable. "Lev… I need to know when to stop here," he said huskily. "I don't— I'll go as far as you'll let me, so I need you to be clear with me right now."
Levy answered by sliding her hands down his chest, her cheeks pink as she shyly pulled his shirt up. Gajeel quirked a brow and helpfully raised his arms so she could pull it off. She admired the muscles of his chest and abdomen lovingly, delicate hands smoothing over his skin. "I'm not going to stop you."
Gajeel took a deep breath, studying her for a moment. "Are you sure about this, Levy?"
She smiled, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She had no idea why she was crying, but taking this step with Gajeel was a lot more emotional than she'd thought it would be. Movies made it look hot and steamy and fast. But this…this was raw and slow. Gajeel touched her with an aching tenderness, like she was made of delicate porcelain.
He could so easily make her insides melt with a cheeky grin and a pinch to the rear, but tonight he'd abandoned his usual brand of flirtation in favor of something softer. Levy could feel his love for her in every touch, every brush of skin.
"More sure than I've ever been."
He cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping away a fallen tear, and kissed her softly. Carefully, he lifted her off the couch and carried her into his bedroom. Pantherlily obviously took a hint very well, as he hopped off the bed and disappeared into the living room. Gajeel kicked the door shut behind him and laid her down on the mattress. He moved over her, admiring her skin in the dim light.
Her fingers brushed the studs in his wrist, and he froze. He just didn't understand why she wasn't afraid of him. Why she didn't think that he was some freakish monster like most people seemed to. She should be scared of him! He had a past so messed up… Foster care drama, abuse, drugs, countless crimes, not to mention… Gajeel bit his lip. Why wasn't Levy disgusted by him?
"This doesn't scare you away?"
Levy blinked. "What?"
"This." Gajeel motioned to the studs, then growled. "Hell… All of me! Doesn't it scare you?"
And then she gave him the most beautiful smile. "Why would it? I love you, Gajeel. All of you."
Her gentle hands wove through his hair, she pulled him down to kiss him fiercely. They parted for air, and Gajeel rested his forehead against hers. He didn't move, he just breathed her in. "You want this." He said it like a question, so unsure and insecure.
Levy cupped his cheek. "I want this, Gajeel."
He searched her eyes for any sign of discomfort or hesitancy, but found nothing but certainty. The look she gave him shook him to the core. Gajeel had received a lot of looks in his lifetime: disgust, hatred, concern, pity, rage. Never, not once in his entire life, had he seen someone look at him with so much love. The insecurity melted away, and in its wake burned a fire of passion. He smirked, reaching behind her back to unclip her bra. "Good, 'cause I'm about to corrupt an angel."
"Oh, I'm no angel." Levy flashed him a telling grin, her cheeks pink when her bra came unhooked. "Once, I punched a guy."
Gajeel barked out a laugh. "Such a bad girl." His teeth scraped her throat. "You're under arrest, Miss Levy."
Levy blinked, red hot embarrassment pooling into her cheeks. "E-Eh?" She squirmed under him as his lips moved down her chest.
Gajeel looked up at her with dark eyes, flashing her a dangerous smirk. "Naughty girls have to be punished."
He pushed her back down onto the bed and kissed her again, her bra landing unceremoniously on the dresser across the room. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard her gasp, but he was too busy focusing on the taste of her skin to care.
Hours later, they lay together, just talking about anything and everything. Enjoying the tranquility of the aftermath. Clothes were scattered all over the room. A bra on the dresser, jeans on the floor, a shirt at the foot of the bed, panties…well, they were somewhere. Gajeel wasn't entirely sure where those ended up, and he had a pretty good feeling that Levy would need them back…
Gajeel brushed his knuckles against her cheek. She was a goddess. He loved this place—where she was, where they were. Beside her. Inside her. Over her. Where they lay together, in his bed, in his apartment, talking into the early hours of the morning.
Levy smiled at him as she snuggled into the pillow, and Gajeel moved his hand over her bare, soft skin. She kissed his hand when it passed her lips.
"What are ya thinking, shorty?"
She giggled. "I'm thinking about you."
"Me?" Gajeel chuckled and brought her palm to his lips. "What, ya want a repeat?"
Her face went pink and her skin burned as if on fire. "N-No! That's not what I meant…"
His chest rumbled with laughter, and she slapped his arm. His eyes met hers and she giggled when his hand met the curve of her waist. This must be what heaven is like. Gajeel never thought he'd experience it—sinners like him are doomed to hell, right? But Levy… Oh man…she was an angel. Pure innocence, like a fairy. Her beauty ran through straight to her soul, and shone outward like the sun. Her very aura radiated love, enveloping him in her warmth. Gajeel entangled his fingers in her wild cerulean locks, and suddenly the mood shifted from playful to something more serious.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Anything, shorty."
Her delicate fingers brushed the metal studs on the bridge of his nose, his chin, then down his shoulders and arms, brushing the studs in his wrists. "What's the story behind these?"
Gajeel's gaze fixed to hers. For a moment he was nervous about how she'd respond. His past was something he normally didn't talk about, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away. But this was Levy. She'd been dating him for months, and not once did she ever look at him and see just his studs. She looked at him and saw his heart, his soul, and somehow she saw a handsome face. When she looked at the studs, she saw a story, not ugliness, and Gajeel knew the time would come when he'd have to tell her. No time like the present to be honest.
"Do you really want to know?"
Levy smiled. "Of course."
"I was in a gang," he said, finally. He searched her face for any reaction, but she just listened to him. No judgment in her eyes, no disappointment—she just waited for him to continue speaking. "When I was sixteen, I joined a gang called Phantom. I was in a rough place at the time. I told ya about my dad."
Levy nodded a confirmation.
"After he left, I was a mess." Gajeel propped up on his elbow, intertwining his fingers with Levy's. "Foster care was a nightmare, no one wanted me to stick around and the one person who took me in was psychotic." Levy remembered the photo album and the newspaper clippings of Jose, and she winced. "Then I met this guy from Phantom, and they made it look so easy. As soon as I was legal I stayed with them full time. They were never really my home, but they were a band of misfits—I fit in well enough." He held up his wrist. "These were from joining. And these," he pointed to the studs on his chin, "were the last ones I got. I hate the sight of 'em."
"If they bother you so much, why don't you just take them out?"
"The studs?" Gajeel chuckled bitterly. "I would if I could, shrimp. I won't give you all the gory details, but trust me—they're permanent."
Levy brushed the metal over his eyes sadly, grimacing at the images running through her mind of the many ways those permanent metal studs could have been installed. "What were these for?"
Gajeel sucked in a breath. "A lot of things. Car theft, robbery, assault on a rival gang." He eyed her to make sure she wasn't too horrified. "Certain weapons got you certain badges of honor, as they called 'em. Now they're more like stamps marking each of my sins."
"And these?" Her thumb brushed the ones on the sides of his nose.
"You don't want to know," he said softly. "I've committed a lot of crimes, Lev. Each stud is just proof of what I've done." He swallowed and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not proud of the man I was."
Dainty fingers smoothed over the scar across his abs. "What's this from?"
"Knife fight." He pointed to the one on the side of his neck. "This was from a box cutter."
Levy winced and he laughed. "That sounds so painful!"
"Yeah, it hurt like a bitch. But the scar on my hip was the worst."
She looked down at the jagged, raised scar stretching over his hip and up his side. It was about four inches wide; the scarred skin looked tight and slightly pale against his tanned complexion. At first glance it looked like a burn scar, but it was different. Levy touched it gingerly.
"What happened?" she whispered.
"Acid burn." He cleared his throat. "Punishment for making a mistake."
Levy was quiet for a moment her fingers moving over all his tender scars, all the piercings. Gajeel studied her as her sad eyes traveled from scar to scar, piercing to piercing. Each rippling muscle had its own story, each scar its own pain. He'd been forced to endure so much throughout his life.
"How did you get out?" she whispered. "Of the gang."
Gajeel took in a breath, pointing to the studs on his chin. "These were my ticket out." Levy winced. "Then I went to the police. Ratted them out. I showed them where the hangout was, handed everything in and told them what they wanted to hear." He swallowed and looked away. "I knew it was the only way I could start clean. They'd kill me if they found me."
Panic struck her face. "What happened to them?"
"The guys in the gang?" he asked. "Don't worry 'bout it. Some died. The rest ended up in jail."
Levy nodded, fingers brushing the scars on his arm. Gajeel watched her hesitantly, her face scrunched up with some unreadable expression as she looked over his scars and studs. Sadness pooled in her eyes, and it made him feel sick.
"Does it disgust you?"
Levy looked up and he froze, eyes widening. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "How could I ever be disgusted by you?"
"Hey, hey, hey…" Gajeel pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Why are you crying, shorty?"
There were a thousand reasons he could imagine why she would be crying. Maybe his stories scared her? Maybe she really was disgusted and she was just too kind to say so. Maybe, Gajeel swallowed the pain in his chest, he finally scared her away. But when she answered, he was stunned.
"You've been through so much pain."
Gajeel was sure his brain was malfunctioning. Soon smoke would come out his ears. Not once in his life had anyone ever cared for him like that. If he actually plucked up the courage to tell someone he thought was his friend about his past, all he received in return was disgust and hatred. Someone finds out you're an ex-gang member, that you've got a criminal record and spent time in jail, and they lose their shit. Forget the fact that you got out of the life, you survived, and you're fighting to change yourself for the better. What you were brands you forever.
Levy buried her face into his neck, kissing the scar. Her tears wet his skin. "I'm so sorry you've been through so much," she cried. "I wish I could take your pain away."
"Lev…"
The tears gathering in the corners of his eyes came without warning, and he crushed his lips against hers. She responded with equal fervor, kissing him back with all she had. Her bare skin pressed against his, and he moved his lips down her neck.
"I love you, Gajeel."
Gajeel swallowed, pulling away to look her in the eyes. And when her thumbs brushed the tears threatening to spill from his eyes away, he smiled. "Yeah, shorty. I love you, too."
I love you so much it hurts.
A/N: This was my favorite chapter, guys! I've been looking forward to posting this one for weeks. We finally get to see more of Gajeel's past. We are almost halfway through with this story, so there's a good ways to go. Everyone prepare yourselves!
Thanks for reading, and as usual, leave a review and let me know what you think! You've all been so supportive and sweet, and I can't thank you enough! I'll see you all on Friday! :)
