Levy arrived at his apartment not much longer after the group confronted Gajeel. She used her key to open the door, staggering in tiredly. According to Erza, she'd barely slept the night before, and it had taken them hours to get her to eat. She shut the door, looking up and freezing when she saw the crowd gathered in his apartment. His whole living area was full—every seat, every corner full. Her eyes flitted across their faces nervously before landing on Gajeel. He looked uncharacteristically nervous, and very uncomfortable. Like he was unsure what to say. But then he glanced up at her just long enough for her to see the guilt in his eyes. The shame. The anger and the pain. And what little was left of her resolve shattered.
She looked away to keep everyone from seeing the emotion manifesting itself in her eyes, rising in her throat. Lucy and Erza shared sympathetic looks. When Levy turned around, everyone looked up at her, not knowing what to say or how to respond. In some way, they felt like approaching Gajeel without her would be like a betrayal to her. But they knew she needed to talk to him, and she needed to do that alone. Levy was in no state to have this conversation with an audience.
After a tense few moments, Natsu cleared his throat and slapped Gray on the back of the head. "Come on, frostbite, we have to get to work." He slipped past Levy, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "We're here for you, Levy."
Gray followed a beat behind him, Juvia and Lucy trailing him. Everyone else got up too, all giving Levy hugs and words of comfort and support as they passed her. It was helpful, but also terrifying. While their comfort built her up, it also broke her heart even more.
Erza and Jellal were the last ones to leave. Jellal stepped out into the hall quietly while he waited on Erza, who stopped in front of Levy. "I owe you an apology," she said quietly.
Levy furrowed her brows. "Why?"
"I knew," she admitted. "I've known since just after Thanksgiving. I just didn't know how to tell you, Levy… And I told Gajeel I wouldn't say anything. Please forgive me."
Knowing Erza knew definitely didn't make her feel better, but it wasn't her fault. And she'd clearly been torn up inside over it. At least this explained why Erza was so jumpy around her lately. Levy pulled her into a hug. "I forgive you. It's not your fault, and I understand that. Thanks for watching out for him for me."
Erza gave her a sad smile. "Let me know if you need anything. I'd be glad to help in any way. Just ask."
"Thank you, Erza."
She shut the door behind them quietly and stood still for a moment, not wanting to turn around to face him. Her heart plummeted into her gut as she tried to calm herself. As soon as she turned around, she'd be facing her fears, and this would all become too real. One look at him and it would be solidified that he had cancer. She swallowed thickly and looked down when Pantherlily rubbed her ankles. He was a smart cat—he understood what was happening.
Picking him up, she took a deep breath and turned around, stepping into the living room.
Gajeel was silent as he looked up at her. One look at her only made his guilt stronger. She looked horrible… Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and she looked like a panda with the dark circles around her eyes. It would've almost been cute had he not seen her bloodshot eyes, puffy and red from crying. And she was so pale, her skin dull and listless. This was all his fault.
"We need to talk."
He nodded. After only a day, it felt like he hadn't seen her in a century. And knowing he was about to cut ties with her… Gajeel didn't know he could feel so much pain. Damn, he'd miss her. He already missed her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close, tell her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to be that comfort she needed, he wanted to kiss her until she forgot all the pain. But he couldn't.
Levy sat down beside him on the couch. Normally, she would sit so close they were touching, but she kept her distance. She fidgeted nervously for a moment before turning, pulling her leg up and crossing it underneath her as she faced him. "I just want you to know… Even though I'm so hurt that you didn't tell me, and I'm angry…" She trailed off, biting her lip. Gajeel had to force himself not to reach out and dry her tears as they began to fall. "Even though I wish you'd told me, I'm not going to be mad at you. I-I can't say I understand what you're going through. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if I were in your situation, but… I just want you to know that I'm here for you. You can talk to me."
Gajeel's jaw fell open softly as he stared at her, all the breath leaving his lungs in one continuous exhale. "Levy…"
She reached up to wipe her cheeks with her sleeve. "I'm really upset that you didn't tell me. I wish you could've trusted me more. I wouldn't have judged you, and I wouldn't have left. I just want to help you," she whispered. "And I want you to be honest with me! I deserve that much! I mean, I've known something was going on, I just didn't know what… I've known for a long time, but I was just scared to bring it up."
Gajeel didn't know how to respond to that. She said all the right things—soothed his fears and comforted his restless soul. But it only hurt worse. She just wanted to stand by him, regardless of the suffering she would face when he died. And he just couldn't do that to her. Gajeel knew that being fair to her, being right by the woman he loved, meant pushing her away to save her from the pain.
Steeling his nerves and swallowing his emotions, he clenched his fists and looked away from her. "No."
Levy recoiled, looking stung. "What?"
Damn, this is hard. "No," he said, a little firmer. "Levy, we can't."
"Why? I don't understand…"
He swallowed again and cleared his throat. "You don't wanna be with me, Lev. I'm dying," he said softly. "This can't work. It'll only hurt you in the end, and I won't let that happen. I'm not going to let you stay here and watch me die. Just forget about me."
This was so much harder to say than he thought it would be. Out of all the pain he'd suffered in his life, this was by far the worst. Nothing would compare to losing her. He'd done a lot of wrong in his past, committed too many crimes to count, but Levy… Hell, she didn't even care. She never had.
If you love her, let her go.
"I'm messed up, Lev. I have a past you don't want to be a part of. I'm broken. Always have been, always will be. And I'm dying. There's nothing they can do anymore, Levy." Gajeel swallowed and forced away the tears threatening to rise. He reached out to cup her cheek, allowing himself one last indulgence. "Don't waste your time with me."
Before he could process what was happening, Levy reared back and slapped him across the face. Hard. He blinked, then glanced wide-eyed at the tiny woman sobbing in front of him. Her shoulders shook as she wiped her tears away.
"How dare you," she seethed. "How dare you even think that you're not worth loving! How dare you think that you having a rough past or having this terrible sickness matters to me! How could you be so stupid?"
His breath was stolen, the earth went still and silent. A thousand years could have passed and he would've never noticed. Gajeel looked down at her, attempting to process what she'd said, but his brain simply couldn't function.
"You shouldn't have asked me out if you were just going to run away in the end! You think it's going to hurt me in the end? It already hurts! But you having cancer doesn't hurt as much as you thinking that I would actually want to stop seeing you because of that does!" Levy looked up, eyes locking with his furiously. "How could you think that?"
She took a deep breath and reached a trembling hand out to cup his cheek. "I don't care that you're sick. I don't care that you have a hard past. I don't care about any of that, you idiot! I care about you! I need you, Gajeel! I love all of you—cancer doesn't change that! It doesn't scare me away, because you'll get better. And even if—" Her voice broke and the tears started falling harder. "Even if you don't have much time left, I don't care. It doesn't matter what challenges we face, because we'll do it together." Levy smiled through her tears and kissed his forehead, the studs over his eyes and down his nose, finally placing one tender kiss to his lips. "I'm in this to the end, Gajeel. And I'm not leaving."
Gajeel swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. "Lev… I'm broken… You don't deserve that."
"And you don't deserve to be alone. You deserve to be loved." Levy brought his chin down so she could meet his gaze. "I can fix the broken in your heart. You're worth saving, Gajeel."
He didn't even notice his own tears falling.
"You said you deserved to die, and you couldn't be more wrong," she said. "You, more than anyone I know, deserve to live. You deserve to find happiness, Gajeel. So let me help you."
Gajeel was already pulling her into his arms, crushing her body against his own. Part of him didn't want her to see him cry, but the other part of him just didn't want to let go. "Why won't you leave?" he rasped. "I can't let you see me die, Levy… I can't be this selfish!"
"I'm not leaving because I love you." Levy cried against his shoulder and hugged him tighter. "Of course you having cancer is scary. It's the scariest—" she took a moment to gather her emotions. "It's the scariest thing I've ever had to go through. But no matter what happens, we're in this together. I won't let you be alone."
Gajeel clung to her, letting all his walls come down. She was the only person he'd let see such a display, and he was even angry that he'd let her see him fall apart at all. She combed her fingers through his hair, rubbing his back as she cried with him. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and breathed her in as he let everything go, releasing emotions he'd held in for over two years.
"If you think you're selfish, then I am too," she whispered. "I want every last moment you have. I'll be by your side."
He pulled her closer, but he just couldn't seem to get her close enough. His tears dampened her shirt, her neck, and she smoothed her hand over his hair. "I love you, Levy," he murmured. "I love you so much."
Levy kissed his cheek. "I love you, Gajeel. We're in this together now."
Gajeel leaned back to look at her, his eyes searching hers desperately. He wished she would turn away, that she would just give up on him and go find happiness elsewhere. But she was stubborn, and giving to a fault, and she refused to leave him. It's one of the things he loved most about her.
"Yeah. We're in this together."
A/N: Hello again! I hope you enjoyed today's chapter :) Finally, Levy smacked some sense into this boy! Such an emotional chapter, but I was really excited about this one. Now everyone knows everything, and there are no more secrets!
Leave a review and let me know what you think, and I'll see you next time!
