Gajeel watched as Levy tested the flexibility of her new pointe shoes. She bent the satin in her hands, finally smiling and nodding to herself before setting the shoes on her dressing table. Before even putting on her pointe shoes, she would have to prep her feet. Gajeel had seen her go through this dozens of times. Bandages to cover small blisters all over her feet, tape on all her toes, and then tights.
"How many pairs of those do you have, shorty?"
Levy laughed lightly and examined the old shoes in her bag. "Well, I've lost count, to be honest. I sometimes go through a pair a day." Gajeel's mouth fell open and she laughed again. "That's normal!"
Gajeel just shook his head, watching as she pulled her coat on over her leotard. This was finally the day of her big performance. Scouts from dance companies all over Fiore would be attending, all assessing her abilities. With any luck, she'd have them lining up at her door, begging her to join their companies. They'd gotten up that morning early so Levy could get to her yoga class. Gajeel had a class that morning, one he shared with Erza, who insisted on walking him to class and back to the bus stop. After class, he had a light shift at work before he was supposed to meet Levy at the concert auditorium. He couldn't do too much intensive work anymore, but Sting and Rogue made sure to have some easier things for him to work on. Filing papers and wiping down greasy car parts wasn't something he enjoyed, but it got him paid. And the fact that Sting hadn't forced him to quit was a blessing on its own.
Levy knowing about his cancer had been difficult at first. Every moment was heavy and emotional, but they had promised each other that no matter what happened, they would make each moment worth something. And they would stay positive—that was their biggest chance of winning this. Gajeel had sworn to be honest with her from then on, and the best place he could start was showing her all of his medications and what each one did. There were medications for pain, medications to combat the side effects of that medication, and medications to combat the side effects of those. She'd been horrified over the home injection, even sadder over the swollen bruise on his stomach. Levy helped him count pills and get ready that morning, and while he didn't like having to rely on her, he couldn't imagine not having her by his side.
"I still have enough time to spare before the auditorium will start to fill up. Do you want to go get some coffee?" she asked, bringing his mind back to the present. "I wanted to get some water, anyway."
Gajeel smiled. "Sure, Lev."
Levy took his pace, walking alongside him slowly as they left through the back door of the concert hall. The backstage area had a door leading out to the street, and across the intersection nearby there was a small coffee shop. The campus had several of them, and while this one wasn't the one they commonly frequented, it was still good. And close by. They took the crosswalk across the intersection and entered the small shop. It was a cramped brick building with plastic chairs and bistro tables outside and string lights lining the awning. The woman inside was polite when they ordered, and gave them their drinks after only a few minutes wait.
They left to go sit on the steps leading to the backstage of the auditorium as Gajeel drank his coffee. Levy watched him quietly, her eyes holding equal amounts of love and sadness.
"Like what you see?" he asked, huskily.
Levy blushed and laughed. "I do. You look handsome tonight."
In his button down and silk tie, hair pulled back into a ponytail, he looked incredibly handsome. But the gaunt lines of his cheeks and his dark circles made her heart ache. Gajeel reached over and tapped her nose. "Stop thinking."
Levy swallowed and smiled. "I know."
Change the subject. "Are you ready for your big night?"
Now, that was something she really didn't want to think about. All day, she'd had this sinking feeling in her gut. Her skin crawled as she thought about it. No, she really wasn't ready. Surely it was just performance anxiety. But this… This didn't feel like normal performance anxiety. It felt a lot like dread. She tucked a curl that had fallen loose from her bun behind her ear and smiled up at him reassuringly. "I am!"
Gajeel didn't look convinced as he pulled his coat tighter. January was even colder than December… And as the sun was going down, it only got worse. He looked over at Levy and frowned. He was more worried about her. Not because she couldn't do it, because he'd watched her enough many times to know how unbelievably talented she was. But because he wasn't sure she wanted to do it anymore.
"Levy—"
"I'm fine, really."
He quirked a brow but shook his head, laughing. "Okay, okay. Fine."
Levy nudged his shoulder playfully and looked down at her phone. "Oh, I need to get inside to change, and you need to go meet everyone. Lucy sent me a text. Apparently they're here."
Gajeel stood, groaning at the pain in his stomach when he straightened. Levy stood beside him, and he cupped her cheek as he kissed her. Slowly, softly. "Good luck," he said against her lips. "You're going to be amazing."
Levy stepped away and smiled. "Thanks, Gajeel." She turned away, but paused and looked back at him. "Are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine. Everyone else is here, and my legs aren't broken."
She giggled, despite the darkness of it all, and kissed him softly. "I'll see you in a bit!"
By the time Gajeel made it back to the front of the concert hall, everyone else was waiting. They gathered on the front steps of the building. Gray looked up and waved him over. "Hey, man. Ready to go in?"
He nodded, following them inside. Stairs were a real bitch at this point, but it wasn't something he couldn't handle. He could tell everyone was worried—even Natsu took a considerably slower pace to match his own. Since opening up to them about everything, they'd become incredibly supportive and very considerate. Still, they were just like Levy. Trying to act normal, like he was totally going to beat this thing, but it did nothing to hide the tense atmosphere. Everyone knew what was coming.
Erza hung behind, pretending to be checking an email on her phone, but Gajeel knew she was really walking behind him to make sure that he was okay. Lucy and Juvia kept sneaking in glances, too. Gajeel appreciated their concern, but he didn't want it.
They found a row of empty seats near the back. It was the best they could get, unfortunately. As this was the big performance, the auditorium was slammed full. Scouts and families and children and students attending Magnolia took every available seat. Being a school known for its dance program, even students here for other majors were very involved. And everyone wanted to see Magnolia's star dancer take the stage tonight.
Lowering into his chair, he groaned. Damn stomach pain…
"Are you okay?"
Gajeel looked over at Jellal and nodded. "Just damn peachy," he said flatly.
Jellal smiled regretfully. "I understand. How's Levy today? She seemed nervous last week."
"She's stressed. But I think she's okay."
"Good," he said. "She'll do wonderfully. She's been flawless every time we've seen her dance."
Dimming lights signaled the beginning of the performance, and after an introduction to the audience by Magnolia's dance program head, the curtains were pulled and the show began. The stage was lit by candlelight and bright white lights shining on the stage, where Levy was folded into a ball in the center. The music thrummed to life, and she unfolded like a spring blossom, elegantly standing and twirling into a pirouette. Everything on the stage was so striking, so brilliantly white, with the exception of her cerulean hair.
She moved like her body was creating the music, like the sounds of the violins and harp and piano were flowing through her veins, pushing and pulling her in the directions of the choreography. Each leap, each arch of her spine and twirl and show of flexibility was flawless and breathtaking. As goddess of life, her glittering white cloak danced around her as she moved, her small body flitting across the stage like a fairy.
The music darkened, the drums becoming heavier and louder, and the cloak tore away as she collapsed to the stage. Now, the goddess of death, she pushed herself off the floor, like a corpse crawling out of the grave, and she entered the more technical portion of her program. Her movements became intense and powerful, fast. Or, they were supposed to be. Gajeel noticed her expression falter, even from where they sat it was visible. He could see her movements slowing, her grand jeté less refined, her arabesque less articulate. His brows furrowed and he sat forward. Everyone else had noticed that something was off about her.
"Is she okay?" Lucy whispered.
Gajeel watched her as she did a pirouette, not in sync with the music, and she slowed to a stop. The music kept going, and several heads poked out from behind the curtain in the back to see what was happening. Levy's eyes were trained out into the crowd, but they were unfocused. She just stood there, frozen to the spot. Whispers and murmurs of confusion rang out in the crowd, all trying to figure out what was happening.
Gray nudged Gajeel's shoulder. "I don't remember this part. Is she supposed to be stopping?"
Gajeel opened his mouth, but closed it again as he watched her fists clench, her shoulders slumping. His gaze softened to understanding. "No. She's quitting."
All his friends answered back with a "What?" and his heart fell when Levy turned on her heels and walked off stage. The audience fell silent, the music cut. You could've heard a pin drop. It was so silent.
Hastily, the director of the dance program ran out onto the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, there seems to be an issue. Give us just a moment to sort things out, and the show will resume momentarily."
She ran backstage almost frantically, followed by Levy's instructors.
"What's happening?" Erza asked.
Gajeel didn't know how to answer. After ten minutes, the director stepped out again, solemn and serious, and announced that the show had been cancelled. Tickets would be refunded fully, and they were sorry for the inconvenience, blah blah. Gajeel didn't care about getting his money back—all he cared about was finding Levy and making sure she was okay.
A gentle hand touched his shoulder, and he looked up at Lucy. Her eyes were filled with concern. "Gajeel—"
"I'm going to go check on her," he said. "You guys go on ahead. It may be a while."
Reluctantly, they agreed. Gajeel waited until everyone left the auditorium before going back to the side door near the front that lead to the dressing rooms. It was quiet even there. He side-stepped around a dressing rack, finally spotting the room Levy normally used at the end of the hall. The door was cracked, light spilling out into the hall in a single line.
Backstage was normally bustling with people and bright lights. Costumes and colors and props filling every available space. The last time he'd been back there after a performance was after her second trial, and the dressing areas had seemed so much more cheery. Now, it was dark, almost haunting. With the exception of that one beam of light shot across the floor. He pushed the door open, sighing when he found Levy curled in on herself on the floor. She was sitting beside the vanity table, knees pulled into her chest and head hidden in her arms. She hadn't even finished changing—she was still only in her bra and underwear. The shimmering black costume she'd worn was thrown over a chair, glittering under the vanity lights.
She sniffled, and his heart broke. Silently, he took his coat off and draped it over her shaking shoulders before carefully sliding down the wall to sit beside her, his muscles protesting the movement. His fingers combed through her hair as he pulled her closer to his side.
"What's goin' on, Lev?"
She peeked up at him, honey-brown eyes glittering with tears. Her stage makeup was smeared and messy, and when she met his gaze, more tears spilled down her cheeks, mingling with her mascara to leave a dark trail on her skin. "I quit. I don't want to dance anymore…"
Gajeel nodded and he wrapped his arms around her when small tears turned into earth shattering sobs. "Hey, hey…" He pulled her into his lap and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, Levy."
"It's not."
Gajeel held her tighter. "Why's it not okay?"
"Gajeel, I can't do this. I can't. I don't want this anymore." Her hands fisted into his shirt. "I don't love it anymore, and that breaks my heart. I've worked so hard for years, all for nothing!"
He nodded and rubbed soothing circles against her back. "It hasn't been for nothing."
"How?"
"Did you enjoy it when you were younger?"
She sniffed, burying her face in his neck. "Yes."
"Then it wasn't a waste." He grinned and pulled his head back to see her. "What are all these tears for? You're happy about quitting, aren't you?"
"Yeah, but… I disappointed so many people."
Gajeel snorted. "Is that what you're worried about?"
"Yes!" She sighed and shot him a look. "Gajeel, do you know how many people were counting on me? How many people came out to see me tonight? I let them all down. And Margaret… Oh, she was furious…"
He rolled his eyes. "Do you think I give a damn about her? Look, no one is disappointed in you, shorty. They were worried. This is your life, so do what you want." Cupping her cheeks, he used his thumbs to wipe her tears. "No more crying."
She flashed him a weak smile. "Okay. Oh, but what am I going to do now? My scholarship…"
He tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. "Do what makes you happy. Open that bookstore like you wanted. Study ancient languages."
"I could do that…"
He chuckled and pulled her in for a kiss. She gasped against him, eyes fluttering closed as he deepened the kiss. His tongue brushed against hers, his teeth scraping against her lip. His fingers tangled in her hair as her arms snaked around his neck, and for a moment, she nearly forgot all her problems. Then he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.
"No matter what happens, I'll always be proud of you," he said.
Levy smiled and hugged him. Whatever she went through, it would all be okay because he was by her side. She could face anything, do anything, be anything. Because he believed in her.
The reality of their situation slammed into the forefront of her mind. It was nearly crippling, overwhelming, and the tears gathered in her eyes faster than she could stop them. He felt the droplets seep into his shirt, against his neck, and he pulled away to look at her, eyes widening. She stared back at him with wide eyes and puckered brows. Her chin trembled as she looked up at him.
"Levy? What—"
"Gajeel, I can't do this without you," she whispered. "I can't do this. I can't go through this alone."
There was no way to prepare someone for death. Hell, it was hard for Gajeel knowing that he was going to die, but for Levy… There was no way to help her. No way to ease her pain. What could he say to soothe her fears? They both knew it was coming. And it killed him inside that she was being forced to watch it all happen. But now, as she begged him frantically for the impossible, his heart hurt even more. Suddenly he was fighting his own emotions. "Levy…"
"Can't they do surgery? Please, there's something… I'm so scared, I can't do this without you."
"Levy," he said firmly. Sorrowful eyes scanned her face. "It's too late. Surgery isn't an option anymore… It's going to be okay. I promise."
"No. There's got to be something they can do, I mean—"
"Levy." She blinked her tears away and looked up at him. He gave her a heartbreaking smile, and she noticed the watery look in his eyes. "I'm only gonna say this once, but you need to know this. I'm going to die. I don't have much time left."
She swallowed, and he felt the teardrops on his shirt.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry I can't stop this."
If only he'd listened to Porlyusica…maybe then he wouldn't be breaking her heart.
A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter today, but there are longer ones coming up! Today we see Levy's struggle, and she's finally made her decision to quit ballet. Also, guys... We are nearing the end! I can't believe it. This journey has been incredible, and I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with me!
I'll see you all on Monday with chapter 25! Take care :)
