Chapter 3
#
"You are learning quickly my pet. I'm surprised they never gave you real training before this. Had you been properly instructed you could have entered the fights on your own."
"Onii-chan told me it was too dangerous," she snapped back, working quickly through the rigorous training he gave her.
Hao just smiled sadly. "It is far more likely that he was afraid of you becoming too strong. That would keep them from controlling you as easily. This way they had all the power they needed over you." Glaring over she tried to block out the images that filled her mind at his words.
#
"Piri don't worry about it. I'm too afraid of losing you to let you enter. We can make it with just me."
#
Her brothers words echoed through her head and she couldn't help but scoff at how stupid she had been then. He could have trained her whether she was entering or not, just so she could handle herself.
The only reason he hadn't was because he wanted her this way. She bit her lip to try and send the thoughts away, but it wouldn't work. It never did. At least now she had Hao to help her. He wouldn't keep her down.
#
They group had been about to leave for another trip when they heard a crash near the door. Running forward they were shocked to see Ren laying on the step unconscious and bleeding. "Someone grab him and bring him upstairs!" Yoh called quickly.
He knew this outcome was possible when Ren headed out of the country, but he had hoped it would have ended differently. Horohoro stepped forward and half dragged the man upstairs, placing him on the same bed he had been treated on a month before.
As Faust went up to examine him the others gathered in the living room. "I think we should stay here for a while," Yoh advised gently.
"My sister is still out there somewhere. We don't have to worry about Ren any more so we should be out looking!" Horohoro exclaimed angrily.
"We have been over most the country in the last month Horo. So has he. At this point we should wait until we can talk to him. He might know something we don't or at least he will be able to eliminate more places she isn't. I know how you feel but we have been wandering around aimlessly for weeks now. This could give us a chance to regroup."
Clenching his fists Horohoro stormed out of the house.
#
It was a few days before his eyes opened slowly to see the familiar walls of the onsen around him. He tried to sit up, but found his wrists and ankles bound again, just like before. "Damn it Yoh untie me," he muttered angrily.
The brunette sat beside him, perched on a stool with a nervous smile. "Sorry but that didn't go so well for us last time."
"If I have to break out again I will," he warned, but Yoh just chuckled. Ren had only been awake for a minute or so, but he suspected their friend was back with them.
"Maybe later. For now why don't you tell me what you've learned so far."
Ren glared at him, but was too exhausted to fight about it anymore. "Nothing really. All I know is that she isn't at my family's compound."
"Yeah I didn't think she would be."
"Thanks for sharing," Ren snapped angrily, frustrated by the way Yoh shrugged.
"We weren't exactly on speaking terms."
"Was Mem with you at all?" Horohoro asked from the doorway.
Thinking back carefully, Ren shook his head. "I only had Bason. I spent some time looking for the Spirit of Thunder but when I couldn't find him I moved on."
"That might be my fault," Yoh admitted sheepishly. "I asked Anna to seal him away until we could trust you again. You were causing enough trouble with just Bason, I was afraid people were going to start dying."
Before Ren could open his mouth with an angry reply Horohoro broke in again. "Then where is Mem? Could he be with her?"
Not taking his angry glare from Yoh, Ren answered. "I doubt it. If he was with her he either would have gotten her back by now or have shown us where she is. Frankly I'm not going to waste a moment worrying about that damn turtle until she's safe. Now I do not want to say this again. UNTIE ME!"
Yoh and Horohoro shared a look. They could never be sure what would happen if they released him, but this attitude was markedly different than it had been previously. Sure he was angry, cold, and ready to kill, but his hate of everything living was gone. He saw his friends for what they were and was calm enough to have a conversation. Really that was all they could hope for. Holding his breath, Yoh cautiously undid the ropes.
#
"I think you are finally ready for your revenge my pet."
She sent him a glare, still not liking the nickname he used for her. "Fine, when are we leaving?"
"Right now," he told her happily. Taking a deep breath she followed him.
#
Once they were at a field near the onsen he told her to wait while he got them. She didn't really know why he bothered to tell her that because the only thing he did was throw a fireball into the kitchen. They had gone over the plan a dozen times on the way here and so she knew that was her cue to freeze a layer of ice over the area around them.
When he heard the door open and people come running outside he burned the ice, causing steam to cloud the area in a layer of mist. Giving her another confident smirk he walked out towards them.
He couldn't help but laugh at the gasps as he walked out from the covering.
"That's not possible!" Horohoro shouted. "They took away your powers!"
"Are any of you actually so naïve that you thought people as pathetic as the Patch could stop me? They took away the Spirit of Fire and all the powers they thought I had, but no one can stop me. I found another spirit and trained up again to come back and kill all of you, and this time I can't lose."
Seeing Horohoro preparing for an attack he snapped his fingers. Just before he hit the fire shaman, a streak came from the fog, snapped his board easily in two before disappearing again. Whatever they had been expecting that wasn't it.
"Well, at least one of you in now unarmed. Next I think the Tao should try his luck. Maybe it will sooth the pain that he caused to one who cared for him."
"What are you talking about Hao?" Yoh snapped angrily.
"I brought someone with me that has a reason to hate you all, someone you threw away. And now they will get their revenge."
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
Grinding his teeth Ren stepped forward, sword ready. "If he wants me to kill him I am more than happy to accept the pleasure!" he yelled before he charged. Satisfied with how things were going, Hao moved back into the fog before the Chinese shaman could stop him. He followed instantly, leaving the others behind.
Once in the cloud of steam he could only see about a foot in front of him. The attack came from out of nowhere and he barely had a chance to block it.
Trying to get a good look at who he was he realized it was actually a woman, but he was having trouble seeing much about her with how quickly she was moving in and out of the fog.
She had a glowing blue sword and used it well. It looked like she was wearing a white sundress and her hair was pulled back somehow.
"Have you given up Ren-kun?" a cold voice cooed.
"Stop playing your games and face me!"
"I was only a game to you so now you know how it feels."
"Who the hell are you?"
The woman laughed again. "I am the one you abandoned. I am the one you tried to dispose of. I am the one who will kill you."
Losing all patience he made a jab in the direction he expected her to come from and smirked when his blade hit flesh, causing her to cry out in pain.
Before he could respond his feet were knocked out from beneath him and he fell to the ground. He tried to get up but someone was pinning him down with a blade to his neck. Looking up at the woman he had been battling, his heart stopped when he met her eyes.
Staring back at him angrily were a pair of blue eyes he thought he would never see again.
"Pirika?" he stammered.
"I bet you never expected to see me alive again after what you did," she told him, voice filled with ice.
"What are you talking about?" he asked helplessly.
"I loved you!" she cried. "I loved you and you threw me away. You hurt me so I wouldn't remember anything and then you left me for dead!"
"Pirika we've all been looking for you for weeks! There was an accident when we were going to the airport," he tried to explain. "When I came to you were gone. I tried everything to get you back. We called Lyserg, we searched all of the city, I even asked my father for help!"
"You are lying!" she shrieked. "You're lying and I'll kill you!"
"Ren! We're coming!" Yoh hollered, sounding closer.
"NO!" he roared. "Stay back! I'll be fine just don't attack!" He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard them stop where they were. "Pirika, can't you remember?"
"Remember what! You attacked me and left me. I would have died just like you wanted if it weren't for Hao-kun."
Suddenly his eyes got dark. "How can you trust him? He tried to kill all of us once and he never changed."
"No. He was right about all of you; I was just stupid enough to believe you. But then you all worked together to get rid of me."
He couldn't stop the tears of desperation that started to fall. "I love you Piri. Your brother loves you. Nothing will ever change that. Hao is just using you to get back at us, he knows we could never hurt you, we would die before that."
She didn't believe him, but he could see the confusion in her eyes so he kept going. "Try and remember Piri. Remember when you got lost in the woods and your brother spent the entire night out in the storm trying to find you. Remember how he panicked the first time I kept you out over night. Remember how you expected him to be furious but he was so happy you were safe he couldn't have been angry. Remember the first time I kissed you in your bedroom. Remember when I gave you that ring, I was so nervous you had me stuttering, something no one else has ever managed."
Moving slowly she pulled a necklace out from under her dress and on the end of the chain was the diamond ring he had given her. Deciding to risk it he pushed her sword away, not caring that he cut open his hand.
Sitting up he used her confusion to pull her against him and kiss her deeply. "Please remember Piri. I need you," he whispered as he pulled away.
Trying to sort through her real memories and the ones that had been fed to her she was overwhelmed. Looking back up at him, he saw how pale she was. His eyes were drawn down to her once white dress that was now stained red with her blood. "NO! Faust help!" he cried desperately, pushing her to the ground and putting pressure on the still bleeding gash. The fog was dissipating and the others ran towards the pair of them.
"Pirika is it actually you!" her brother asked, tears streaming down his face.
"I'm so sorry Pirika. Please just be okay," Ren whispered to her as her eyes closed. The last thing she saw was flames flying up around her and the sound of people screaming.
Pushed back by the flames the group couldn't stop Hao when he lifted her limp body off the ground. Yanking the chain holding the ring from her neck, he threw it to the ground in front of the others. "I regret that she wasn't ready for this task, but I assure you when I return, she will be unstoppable," Hao said coldly, anger in his brown eyes.
"Get your hands off of her you bastard!" Horohoro yelled, thoroughly enraged. Sending only a glare that way Hao disappeared with the Ainu girl still in his arms.
#
"We need to go after them!" Horohoro raged.
"And do what?" Yoh asked, more than a little discouraged. "We have no idea where they could be and even if we did, we aren't ready to take on Hao and all his followers again. It's too much. For now he needs her and so we know he won't hurt her. Until we figure something else out that is just going to have to be enough."
Ren heard the two talking from the hall and took Horohoro's side immediately. The difference was he wouldn't let Yoh stop him from doing what he wanted. Maybe he didn't have the help of his father, but he was still a Tao and that name could pull more than a few strings when he needed it to.
Before anyone could stop him he slipped outside, taking advantage of how broken up the rest of them were. They were all trapped in their own sorrows and didn't think to look for him until the next morning, but by then he was long gone.
#
"I am quite disappointed in you," he told her angrily when she woke.
Looking away she couldn't keep the tears from sliding down her cheeks. "What he said, I think I did remember it. It's blurry and unclear, but there were flashes of everything except the accident. What if he was telling the truth and it was just an accident?"
"You are being ridiculous my pet. I was there when they left you, bleeding and alone. Everything that happened today was just part of their plans. His words were meant to distract you as you bled out. If I hadn't gotten to you when I did you would have died in his arms as he laughed at your foolishness. They knew your weakness and they used it to help them."
Still confused she reached for the chain she had kept hidden around her neck and gasped when it wasn't there.
"He took it from you before I could stop him. Obviously after all this getting back such a costly treasure was more important than doing anything for you."
"Please Hao-kun. I-I need to be alone."
Walking from the room, he left her there for over a week until she had sufficiently healed.
#
Once she was allowed to move around she went to Hao's tent, despite the late hour. She walked in to see him lying on the bed waiting for her, his chest bare. "Have you finally seen the truth my pet?" he asked coolly.
Stepping forward she gave a nod. The week restricted to a bed had left her with plenty of time to think and she didn't think she believed the cold hearted Tao. There were a number of reasons for it, the first of which being that he had never told her he loved her before and it wasn't the sort of thing he would ever admit in front of others.
Also she would never believe that he had gone to his father for help. He would rather die than ask the man for anything and she knew it. That had to be a lie and if he had lied about that why would anything else he have said have been the truth.
Standing up he walked over to her, kissing her passionately. Slowly she responded. "I'm through waiting for you," he whispered as his hands slid down to the bottom of the white dress she still wore. Looking away fearfully she knew it would be useless to fight him. Hao always got his way, and if this was what he wanted he wouldn't stop until he had it.
What scared her most was the fact that she was still a virgin and didn't really want to lose that because a man was lusting after her. Ren had of course wanted it, but she begged him to wait until they were married. Maybe that was why he had gotten rid of her. Assuming that he had ever cared for her and the entire thing wasn't a big joke from the start.
Well, she would never be married now so what did it really matter anymore. Batting away the tears she didn't stop him as he pulled the dress up and over her head. Hao brushed her hair over her shoulder as he smiled at her.
"Be happy my pet, I will make sure you enjoy this." Not wanting to look at him she turned and pressed her back against his chest and let him wrap his arms around her small waist.
She closed her eyes as he started to bite at her neck and one of his hands slid under her bra. Her body betrayed her by shivering in pleasure at the way he touched her, the typical electrical current fading quickly.
"I told you this would be enjoyable," he whispered huskily into her ear. One of his hands moved slowly down her stomach towards her panties but as he brushed a sensitive spot on the inside of her hip she moaned softly.
The problem was that it wasn't his name she had moaned, it was Ren's.
Spinning her around Hao backhanded her, sending her to the ground. Her eyes were filled with fear as she looked up at the angry man towering over her.
"Obviously you have not forgotten as you should. I will make sure that mine is the only name on your lips," he snarled, pulling her to her feet by her arm and making her cry out in pain.
"Hao please, I'm sorry," she trembled. "It was an accident and it won't happen again. He means nothing to me I promise. I only want you."
It was obvious she was just pleading to calm him, and her lies just angered him further. Pushing her down to the bed he slapped her hard again making her cry fearfully.
"Don't hurt me Hao-kun please," she begged. "I-I just wasn't ready. When he hurt me it just made me confused. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. Let me rest tonight and I promise I'll give myself to you willingly tomorrow."
Hitting her one last time he walked towards the entrance of the tent. "I will give you one night, but after that I will have you." After he let his cold words sink in he walked out and she started to sob, wrapping her arms around herself.
#
She didn't know how long had passed when she felt that she wasn't alone. "Please Hao, I promised you tomorrow," she cried looking up. She couldn't help but whimper at the angry golden tiger eyes that stared back at her. "R-R-Ren!" she squeaked.
His eyes moved up and down her body, taking in the bite marks on her neck and shoulders, the bra and panties that were all she wore, her puffy red eyes, the marks on her face and body from where she had been hit and the small bandage that covered the wound he had given her accidentally. He looked broken in a way she had never seen before as he took in everything.
"What did you do with him?" he asked, the pain he felt obvious.
"I promise it isn't what it looks like," she cried. Why she did it she didn't know, but the sight of him after everything she had been through in the past few hours felt like the answer to a prayer, so without thinking twice, she threw herself into his arms.
Putting one hand on the back of her head, Ren held her close and tried not to let her know how much pain he withheld. He was just happy she was safe and tried to tell himself that nothing else mattered. If he could have her back again he didn't care if Hao had used her.
All too soon he pulled away from her. "Pirika, I want to get you out of here. Come with me. I promise I'll never hurt you."
In his eyes she saw a kindness she knew from the faded memories she had. Looking between him and the dress Hao had thrown to the floor she made her choice. "I'm still confused, but I'll come with you," she told him softly.
Grabbing her hand he pulled her quickly away from the camp, letting her grab the dress but not giving her a chance to put it on. Hao was close and if he sensed Ren or saw either of them it would be over.
They had been running for about fifteen minutes when she tripped and fell to the ground. "Ren I can't go anymore," she cried desperately.
"I promise we are close Piri. You can do this, I know it. You're strong." Wiping the dirt from her face, she allowed him to pull her to her feet and drag her off again.
After another five minutes he led her to a small patch of trees, in the middle of which Hakuoh was tied up. Moving quickly he pulled the reins free and turned to face her as she pulled the half shredded, blood stained dress back on. Knowing what he wanted, she nodded and allowed him to lift her up and onto the beast. As soon as she was safely seated he jumped up behind her.
Slightly nervous about riding a horse like this she leaned back into him and was surprised by how safe it felt, sitting securely in his arms. All the stories Hao had told her had been clear until now, but they were fading. Instead they were being replaced by the cloudy ones she had gained on her own of the way the Chinese man held her. Her mind was elsewhere as they rode quickly into the night.
Full memories were being fleshed out from the flashes Ren had given her and they were being added to the fuzzy ones that were clearing. She walked through all of them slowly, letting herself get a good taste of each one.
#
First she was crying outside in the woods behind the apartments. People had been teasing her again at school and though she acted like it didn't matter and walked off after turning up her nose, it hurt. Things had been worse this year and she didn't know why. Maybe it was because she was finally in high school and all the people around her had started dating and going to parties but she was never invited or involved and it made her an easy target.
It also didn't help that she was the only shaman in her grade. Her brother and all of her friends were two grades up, well except for Tamao who was only one year older. No one would dare mess with Tamao though between the way both Yoh and Horo watched out for her. They didn't watch out for the younger girl as much because she refused to show her pain and so they thought she could take care of herself.
As soon as she had gotten back from school today she had run into the trees so no one could see her tears. The Ainu were a proud people and she couldn't show any weakness. The only thing it would succeed in doing is bringing her brother into it and she wanted to handle this by herself.
He would have stormed around the school beating up any guy who dared to look at her wrong, or hollered at any girl who laughed at her, but that wouldn't make anything better. Then she would just be pushed farther away. Not to mention that he would see how she was struggling and there was no one she wanted to impress more than her older brother.
Letting the tears fall she hadn't noticed when it had gotten dark and the wind picked up. Once she looked up again she was in the middle of a blizzard and so turned around she couldn't find her way out no matter how hard she tried. She had been wandering around lost for longer than she could imagine when she finally just collapsed and gave up. This would be a proper end to her life at this point. Lost in a blizzard and killed by the element her brother used as power.
#
Her entire body was numb when she heard something else above the roaring wind. Finally willing to throw her pride away because of how scared she was she yelled as loud as she could. "Help me! Please someone help me!"
"Pirika! Where are you?" she heard a familiar voice holler.
She had never been as happy as she was at that moment, hearing him coming for her. "Onii-chan!" she screamed through a layer of fresh tears that were freezing to her cheeks.
It was only another minute or two before he came into view on his snowboard. Jumping free of it he ran to her and gave her a hug. "Pirika do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he whispered, trying not to show her that he was crying as well.
"I-I'm sorry Onii-chan," she sobbed. "I got lost and by the time I realized I didn't know where I was, the wind and snow had started."
"None of that matters now. All I want is to get you back to the apartment."
Nodding she let him pull her to her feet but she was so weak and cold she couldn't hold her own weight, causing her to cry more. Not letting it worry him he lifted her easily onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Hold on Piri. I'll get you back soon," he told her gently as he jumped back onto his board, putting his hands under her to help hold her up. "Kororo let's take her home," he called, relieved that she was safe. The return trip was made as quickly as it could have when he was holding her on his back and couldn't use his arms.
Before too long he carried her into the apartment and was glad when he saw Ren was still there. He had been over when the storm started and Horohoro had said it would be best to stay because of how bad the roads were. Then, once he decided to look for his sister, he asked Ren to stay at the apartment in case she came back.
Slipping the frozen girl off his back he carried her to her bed and, after pulling off her boots and jacket, pulled the covers over her. "Sleep now sis, you're safe," he told her gently before he turned to see Ren standing in the doorway.
"How the hell did she survive that?" Ren asked in surprise.
Giving a soft smile he laughed. "She's an Ainu," he told the other man simply.
"Okay I get it. You're snow people. But without the help of a spirit even one of you shouldn't be able to survive in a storm like this for that long. She must have told that creepy frog thing to stay here because it never left the room so she was completely alone."
"We are snow people, we are proud people, but mostly we are just an overly stubborn people."
Ren couldn't help but smirk. "Alright, I'll buy that last one."
#
Now she was sitting in an empty classroom crying as she clutched a paper in her hands. "What's wrong?" he asked softly walking towards her. Wiping her tears away quickly she put on a smile and faced him.
"Nothing is wrong Ren. I just wanted to be by myself for a bit that's all."
His eyes narrowed, seeing straight through her cover. "Even a girl as silly as you doesn't cry for nothing. Tell me what's wrong or I will find out for myself."
Her eyes watered again. "I'm not just a silly girl!" she snapped.
"And I'm not stupid," he snapped back. "Why were you crying?"
Looking back down ashamed she handed over the crumpled paper she held. Eying it, he started to understand. It was a note to her guardian that she was failing multiple classes and if she didn't improve she would be dropped from the school.
"How did you let things get this bad? Doesn't your brother know?"
Pirika shook her head. "Onii-chan is already working so hard between school and his job at the factory to pay the bills that I can't let him worry about this as well."
"And how do you think he is going to feel when he gets this?" he asked her.
"He won't get it. I've never been good at school and I could be more useful to him by working more at the tea shop."
"He is working double shifts because he wants to keep you in school. How could you just throw all his hard work away?"
"You would never understand," she told him. "He is lucky to get four hours of sleep a night between his homework and the hours he works. I need to help him. He has given up everything from time with his friends to being with Tamao for me and I don't deserve it. I struggle so much with this anyway that I might as well be helpful to him."
"He would rather have you quit your job then school, don't be stupid enough to believe otherwise."
"Even if I wanted to stay in school I'm not able to keep up. I'm going to fail out even if I try. If I give up now I can use my time helping him instead of wasting it trying to learn."
"So find someone to help you if the problem is you aren't understanding. If you drop out he will probably just move somewhere you could start over again.
He will never let you do something this foolish."
"Who would care enough to help me? Everyone in my classes treats me like a freak with a disease or something, like they'll die if they get too close," she snapped back.
"I will. If you won't accept my assistance then I'll tell your brother about this."
"Why would you do that? He needs my help!" she asked desperately.
"I won't let you throw your future away because of this."
He didn't bother to stop her as she slapped him hard across the face.
"You have already missed lunch and your next class starts in a few minutes. If you want my help meet me by the gym door after school. I would much rather help you than give your brother another thing to deal with." With that he left the room and she started to cry again.
She knew that if her brother found out about her grades, he would make her quit her job and she couldn't allow that. As much as she hated to admit it, Tao
Ren never bluffed, and if she didn't meet him he would tell. So, against everything she wanted, she had met him and accepted his help.
#
The next memory was only a few days later when he had met her at the tea shop she worked at to help her during her lunch break. "Ren-san this is hopeless! I'll never learn any of this, I'm not smart enough."
"You are more than smart enough you stupid snow bunny, you just need to work with me. I understand that you don't learn well at school but I need to find out how you do learn so I can help you. For that I need your cooperation. Now let's try this again."
#
The world faded again and the pair of them were in her bedroom a month later and her grades had finally started to rebound, but she still needed far more help than she wanted to admit. "Why are you doing this Ren-sama?" she asked, so frustrated she wanted to try and distract him at least for a bit.
"I am drawing these stupid pictures because it seems to be the only thing that can help you."
"I mean why are you helping me at all? You have better things to do. I mean you're dating the head cheerleader, half running your clan, and you're graduating in a few months. Why would you spend this much time helping me?"
"I broke up with her weeks ago. She was too clingy," he responded, not looking up from the paper he was working on.
"Being the great Tao Ren I'm sure the others have been lined up waiting since it happened."
"They are all shallow and it was starting to be a bore. Now come over here and try this again."
"You still haven't told me why you are wasting your time with me."
Giving a sigh he rubbed his temples with his fingers. Meeting his eyes she could tell he was getting frustrated. "If you can finish all this work before your brother gets home I will answer your question." Glaring at him she went back to her work, knowing he would give her nothing more for now.
Finally she had finished her homework for the day and her brother still wouldn't be home for half an hour. Closing her books and putting everything away she turned to him.
"Now, tell me why you are doing this." Giving his trademark smirk he moved towards her and before she could stop him, he kissed her.
At first it was just a brush to her lips but only a second later it was more. Her lips responded to him instantly, even before she had processed what was happening. All too soon he pulled away and headed for the door.
"I doubt that you want to explain my presence to your brother so I'll leave before he gets back. I'll meet you after work tomorrow snow bunny." With that he walked out, leaving the blue haired girl more confused than when they had started.
#
Although she was still in her bedroom, it was months later and her homework lay forgotten on the floor beside them. Ren was lying on his back and she was sitting on top of him. Her face was flushed from the way he was tickling her. "Are you ready to answer me yet?"
"I- forgot-what you-asked," she managed through her giggles and pants.
"I asked if you wanted to go out to a movie tonight."
Leaning backwards she tapped her chin thoughtfully.
Smirking again, his fingers moved back to her sides and she shrieked with laughter. "Yes Ren-kun," she managed.
Quickly he rolled her over so he had her pinned beneath him. "We should go soon then, unless you want your brother to know where you're going."
"We have a little time," she teased, pulling his lips down to her own. A few minutes later she pushed him out of the room so she could change.
#
They pulled up in front of the building close to eleven that night and seeing the lights on upstairs she knew he was waiting for her, probably angry. "Maybe you should just go Ren-kun. I can handle him by myself."
"I'm sure you can, but the look on his face when he finds out I was the one that kept you out this late is something I will greatly enjoy seeing."
Sending a light hearted glare at her golden eyed boyfriend she got out of the car and headed up. He would follow her, but not too closely. Hearing her try and explain this to her over protective brother would be almost as good as the look on his friends face when he saw who she was dating.
"Where the hell have you been?" Horohoro asked her angrily.
"I sent you a text and told you I was going out," she responded calmly.
"With who? I already talked to Tamao and Anna and they say you weren't with them. Who else would you go out with?"
Without being able to see her, Ren could already tell she was blushing. "Onii-chan I am 16 years old. Did it occur to you that I might be out with a guy?"
"What do you mean a guy? You aren't old enough to date and I'll kill anyone who says otherwise!"
"Ren-kun stop snickering and come out here!" she ordered.
Ren couldn't help but laugh at the way the older Ainu's mouth dropped open at the sight of his friend. Walking over next to Pirika he allowed her to take his hand, despite how much he didn't like it.
"Please tell me this is all some kind of sick joke," he begged of the pair, but the loving way Pirika looked up at the man next to her showed him it wasn't.
"Don't be upset Onii-chan," she pleaded, eyes not leaving Ren's face. "He makes me happy."
Ren watched in amusement as Horohoro ground his teeth back and forth, deciding what to do.
Finally clenching his fists he turned to his friend. "If you ever hurt her I swear I will kill you," he said coldly.
"You could try," Ren snapped back, amused.
Giving a happy laugh Pirika moved between the two. "No fighting."
Looking down at his phone Ren still smirked. "I need to get back," he told her gently, heading for the door. Horohoro's eyes narrowed as he watched his sister hug the other man.
"I didn't finish my homework yet," she told him.
"I'll come back at some point this weekend," he assured her. Glancing quickly up at the man behind him, he kissed her, knowing how much it would bother him. After a few moments he pulled away and left, leaving the girl standing by the door with a shy smile on her lips. Giving a frustrated sigh Horohoro walked towards his room and left her where she was.
#
This time they were at Ren's apartment and they had both fallen asleep watching a movie. He opened his eyes and smiled at the blue haired girl curled up against his chest. Looking over at the clock he was surprised that it said 3 am.
Shaking her gently awake he pulled her to her feet.
"But Ren-kun I'm tired," she whined.
"That would probably be because it's three in the morning. I'm sure your stupid brother is panicking and you have to go to school in a few hours." His words woke her up quickly.
Cursing softly under her breath she followed him out to his car and he drove her quickly home.
When they pulled up he went to park but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Please Ren-kun. I should do this alone. Trust me." Debating quickly he gave in, knowing she would be angry if he didn't.
Unlocking the door she was filled with relief when she saw all the lights were off, but it was short lived and after taking a few more steps the door to his bedroom flew open and he raced out. She expected him to be furious, ranting and raving, but instead he hugged her closely. "Pirika do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he asked.
Returning the hug she smiled. "I'm sorry onii-chan. We fell asleep at his apartment. It won't happen again."
Pulling back he examined her closely. Seeing her mussed up hair and wrinkly clothes he sighed. "Promise me you are being safe," he pleaded.
As soon as she realized what he meant she turned scarlet. "Onii-chan, we don't do that," she managed to stutter.
"The two of you have been spending time together for a year and he's never waited more than a month with anyone else, do you actually expect me to believe you?"
"It isn't like that Onii-chan," she whined. "I'm not ready and he would never push me. We were watching a movie on the couch and we fell asleep, that's all."
His eye brows rose at how uncomfortable he made her. He had to admit, his trust in Ren more than doubled at the point when he realized she wasn't lying.
Dropping the subject he hugged her one more time. "Don't ever do that again Piri. You will never understand how much I worry about you."
#
One last memory came to her slowly. Ren was walking her towards the park she loved, glancing down nervously at her repeatedly. It had been a wonderful day for her that had started with him taking her out to dinner once her homework was finished. After that they went to a movie and finally he was taking her to the playground.
She had begged him to come with her and although he gave in quickly, he had pretended that he hadn't wanted to, making her beg. "I wanna swing!" she told him happily, running over to the snow covered sand pit and jumping onto the swing with a giggle. Rolling his eyes he couldn't hide his smile as he came up behind her and started to push her gently. "Higher!" she squealed, sounding just like the child he had first met outside of the onsen.
Once she was swinging back and forth happily he started to talk to her. "Are you happy Pirika?" he asked suddenly.
Tilting her head to the side she considered his strange question. "Of course I am. I have my onii-chan and I have you. What more could I ever want?"
She gave a gasp as he grabbed her swing and pulled her quickly to a stop. Walking in front of her he went down on one knee and pulled something from his pocket. Her mouth dropped open at the blush that covered his cheeks. "Pirika, y-you mean so much to me a-and I never want to be w-without you. Please m-marry me?"
The way her face lit up made him happier than anything ever had before. Jumping forward she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.
"You do actually need to say something you stupid Usui," he reminded her gruffly.
She laughed, unable to stop the tears that were falling. "Yes Ren-kun. I would love to marry you."
Cocky smirk back in place, her pushed her back a bit so he could slip the ring on her finger. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever laid eyes on but when she looked up to thank him she was surprised to see him crashing down onto her. Their lips met desperately. She could feel the smirk on his lips as he trailed down her neck but she just giggled and let him have his fun.
#
Finally she was back in the present and she could see the sun coming up. Looking around she saw they were entering the outskirts of Tokyo and she couldn't help but whimper. "Ren-k-kun."
He felt his spirit break when she stumbled over the suffix she usually added to his name. Although she still said it, it was clear that she had to force herself to.
"I-I can't go back yet. I-I'm still confused. I'm not ready."
Slowing the horse he considered her. "Pirika, your brother misses you. He would give anything to see that you're alright."
"Please Ren-kun!" she whimpered desperately.
"Alright," he agreed reluctantly. "Why don't we leave Hakuoh in a nearby field and we can find a motel to stay in until tomorrow." Thinking about his offer she decided to accept it. At the very least, if she wasn't ready, she could try and slip away before they got to the apartment the siblings shared.
Ren found a nice field and after slipping down he tied the beast up. She shrunk away from his hands as he reached to pull her down, and after biting down the pain that surfaced, he stepped back and let her climb down on her own.
Looking down at the state of dress she was in he unbuttoned his own shirt and slipped it onto her. Her dress was half shredded from when he had stabbed her and blood covered the entire front of it. Now that they were in town she would be getting far more attention than she would want. Ren offered her his hand and was more than a little surprised when she took it. With that they walked away.
He had told her to wait near the trees while he went to get a room and kneeling down she agreed. What now? She thought to herself nervously. Hao would never forgive her for this and so no matter what she learned from Ren she could never go back there.
It had also been obvious to her from the beginning that, although Hao had given Oyuki to her, the spirit was loyal only to the pyromaniac himself. She had enjoyed when they worked together, but Hao would have found her easily if she had brought her along, so now she didn't even have a spirit.
What about Ren? Was he telling her the truth? One of them had to be lying but she had no idea which one of them it was. She had been telling Hao the truth when she said she didn't believe what the Tao had told her in the fog. But now she wasn't sure. When he touched her he was gentle and caring.
Hao had told her that he had pretended to care for her before he attacked her. Her main issue with that was the only memory she knew was real of someone hurting her was when Hao had hit her the night before, and although she had faint memories that he had given her about being abused by the others they were still in the fuzzy mess she had yet to really sort through.
If Ren had been telling her the truth, and Hao had been lying, than Ren would never forgive her. No matter what she did now, no matter who was telling her the truth, after this she would be alone. No one would want her anymore, but at this point she would give anything just to know right from wrong.
"Piri?" a voice called softly, drawing her attention. Ren was standing in front of her looking worried.
She jumped quickly to her feet. "I'm fine," she chirped, forcing a cheerful edge into her voice.
He just wanted to scream when he heard it. Never before did she need to pretend to be happy with him. Ever since he first started helping her with school she had truly been happy, even when things went wrong. "They only had one room, it's upstairs."
Giving him a nod she followed him into the building. The room wasn't much, but after living in a dirt camp for the last few months it felt nice to have carpet under her toes.
"Pirika?" Turning she saw him behind her, keeping enough distance not to upset her. "Why don't you take a shower while I go out and get you some clothes?" Casting a longing glance at the bed she nodded.
Between the dirt and grime from the camp and the grass and weeds she had stuck to her from running and riding she was a mess and knew it. Walking to the bathroom door she slipped off his shirt and left it on the floor, aware of the way his eyes followed her closely. Without another word she closed the door behind her and started the shower. Before she moved under the water she heard him leave the room.
#
He had moved quickly from place to place, picking up everything he needed before heading back to the room. Glancing at the clock he saw that over an hour had passed but the water was still running and Pirika was nowhere in sight. She would probably get upset if he walked in on her, but he needed to know she was still safe here, instead of out wandering around or going back to Hao. Placing his hand on the knob, he opened it and walked inside.
Sitting in the corner with her arms wrapped around herself, she was crying and letting the water run down her body, oblivious to the fact that her bra and panties were still on. Reaching over he shut off the now ice cold water and grabbed a towel from the shelf. Moving forward he wrapped the towel around her and lifted her effortlessly from the floor of the shower.
She gave no response at all as he carried her into the other room and sat down with her on the bed. For a while he just sat there and waited as she cried, holding her in his arms as he had ached to do since he lost her.
Eventually she stopped crying and looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot. "I can't remember," she whimpered. "I just want to remember what's real."
"I'll help you," he promised her, "no matter what it takes." Placing a kiss on her head he set her down and walked over to the bags he had brought. Digging through them he pulled out the new set of clothes he had gotten her and passed them over. "Change into this," he ordered gently before he turned around. With how upset and confused she was, and how shy and modest she had always been, he knew she didn't want him to watch so as she changed he went back to sort through the other things he had brought.
Her fingers ran gently over the things he had given her. Everything was her size, even the bra, and it was all things she liked. He had to care to bring her things like this right? Changing slowly, she slipped the new sundress over her head, surprised at how perfect it looked. It was hot pink made of cotton with a thick black belt around her waist, the kind of thing she thought she would love wearing in the summer heat.
Once she was finished she looked over to see him slipping on a pair of jeans before facing her. "Are the clothes alright?" he asked. The small smile that crossed her lips wasn't forced as she nodded. She felt a small bit of happiness for the first time that she could remember.
All that was pulled away however, when she saw the chain around his neck with a glittering gem at the end of it. Running forward she grabbed it quickly to look at it. Confirming it was the ring he had given her well over four months ago tears filled her eyes. "He was telling the truth! You took this from me so you could sell it. Or was it just a trophy so you could always remember what you did to me?"
Not giving him a chance to answer she started hitting his bare chest repeatedly, unsure where her tears or strength had come from.
"Piri what are you talking about?" he asked, not trying to stop her.
"That ring! You stole it back after you watched while I bled! Everything you said was just a distraction to buy time until I died!"
He tried to get her to stop, but she just kept hitting him harder and harder until her hands started to hurt. It wasn't what he wanted to do, but he pushed her down to the bed and pinned her hands above her.
"Shut up and listen to me!" he commanded angrily. His harsh words surprised her and she stopped struggling but hate still filled her eyes.
Using his free hand he pulled the chain roughly from his neck, not caring when it broke. Throwing the chain to the side he slipped the ring back on her finger, just like that night in her bedroom after Jun's visit.
"I meant every word I said when I gave this to you and I will never take it back. Hao yanked it off you after you passed out and threw it to the ground because it was helping you remember and he couldn't have that. I kept it with me because I refused to give up until I found you and done everything I could to get you back. If I had realized it was you in the mist I would have let you kill me before I hurt you. I was so happy to see you that I didn't notice that you had been hit until I pushed you off me. Try and remember Pirika please. I would never hurt you."
She wanted to snap back that he was hurting her right now, but suddenly she realized he wasn't. He was careful with how he sat on her, only trying to keep her down, he was keeping all of his weight on his legs. The hand that was restraining her wrists held her firmly but didn't use any more pressure that needed.
The flood of memories started again, everything that Hao had shown her, that she had dreamed, that Ren had told her that night, the sting of the slap he had given her only the night before filled her mind and it all overwhelmed her. "It's all such a mess!" she cried desperately. They all contradicted each other and her mind couldn't tell one from the other until she was taken over by chaos.
#
Her eyes opened slowly to see a plain room around her. She could feel someone behind her, running their hands through her hair. "Are you awake snow bunny?" a voice asked softly. Rolling over quickly she expected to meet a pair of hungry dark brown eyes, sure that everything from the night before had been a dream after she had let Hao have her.
Instead a pair of golden tiger eyes stared back They weren't hungry or angry, they were soft, and maybe a little worried. "R-Ren-kun?" she asked softly, her throat sore from yelling at him earlier.
"That would be me," he said, the cocky smirk she loved back in place. She still didn't know what was true or who was lying but with the gentle way he stroked her hair she didn't care right now. She was scared and confused and exhausted and a dozen other emotions she couldn't even name.
For just this one moment, he made it all go away. Also he had used his pet name for her and it made her feel warm and fuzzy instead of uncomfortable as Hao's had.
"What happened?" she asked, laying her head down again. His hand faltered for a second before continuing as if it hadn't.
"I don't actually know. I let you up but you just went stiff and fainted. Gave me more of a scare then I would like to admit."
She couldn't help but smile. Something told her he really had worried about her.
"Don't you remember the accident Piri?" he asked sadly.
Tears welling up she shook her head. "I have things that I remember from dreams, things that Hao told me, things that you told me, but other than that I have nothing. I-I don't know what's real and what's not."
Pulling her up into his lap he rocked her gently. "We were driving to the airport to go to China when something happened. There was a crash and I was out for a few seconds before I woke up in the street. I looked but you weren't there. I could see where you landed and a trail of blood leading away but you were gone. Your brother and Yoh searched the area but it was as if you just disappeared. I know they called Lyserg, but I-I wasn't really myself after that."
His last words were mumbled and she could tell he was ashamed so she didn't ask. "Hao told me that I was training outside with you and onii-chan and I couldn't keep up so you both got upset and attacked me. You told me that a weak girl like me would never belong and you left me there dying."
She could feel him shaking with anger and it sounded like he was choking. Sensing his changed emotions she to squirm away from him but he spoke before she got more than off his lap. "Wait, just-just give me a second," he snarled, hands clenched tightly.
Still fearful she settled down again. He was furious, but unlike when Hao was angry, she didn't feel like she needed to hide in a corner.
Before long he had himself mostly under control. "Pirika, neither of us would ever hurt you, for any reason. We don't care how strong you are, hell, I wouldn't care if you weren't a shaman. As long as you were happy nothing else would matter. How could you ever think differently?"
"Everything seems real," she tried to explain. "The things that Hao told me, they play through my head. I can see them happening. But I've had dreams that feel right as well. Then everything you tell me, I see that too. I see it all but they all contradict each other and I can't tell what's real. I know it can't all be true, but I can't sort through it."
Ren bit his tongue to keep from snapping at her. Instead he grabbed her around the middle and moved her to his lap again. Not letting herself think, she just responded naturally and curled up into his chest.
"Why don't we try this? You tell me something that you remember and I'll tell you if it's real. At that point you can make your own decisions."
At first she just thought it would be like the things Hao had been telling her for weeks and it would add to the confusion, but maybe it wouldn't. Hao had always pushed something towards her, given her a memory that she had then seen. If Ren was going to just listen to what she knew he wouldn't be adding anything to the chaos and if she didn't believe him then she didn't have to. "Alright," she agreed softly.
"Start where ever you want," he told her, leaning back and closing his eyes.
Thinking through everything she had heard, she decided to start with the first thing that came to mind. "When you found out about my grades you told me I either had to work with you and bring them up or you would tell my brother so he would make me quit my job. The first thing that ever really happened between us and it was basically blackmail."
Ren couldn't help but smirk even though he knew it didn't really fit the situation. "Okay that's true but it was for your own good. I couldn't watch you give up and I knew it was the only way you would listen." She didn't know why, but she gave a soft giggle. "Next."
"Onii-chan and you didn't train me because you wanted to be able to control me."
"No. You never asked me for training or I would have agreed and your brother was afraid that if he trained you before the fight you would join behind his back. After that I'm not sure, but knowing that baka he probably didn't realize you still wanted it."
Giving a sigh she decided to switch back and forth between her dreams and what Hao had told her. "I remember we were going somewhere and onii-chan was with us. I started to pull back a little and threw snowballs at both of you. You got mad and thought we were being silly, but once onii-chan hit you with one we teamed up against him until he had to use Kororo to get unburied from the snow."
"If I had a few more minutes he never would have gotten out of that snow bank," he told her with a laugh. "And if you recall I got my revenge on you later that week."
Closing her eyes she tried to clear her mind and let the memory come to her. She smiled as it started. "It was after that chick flick you hadn't wanted to see. I had wanted to walk because it was so nice out, though you were complaining about the cold. We were half way back when you told me you dropped something and would catch up in a minute. I had forgotten all about the snow ball fight so I didn't think twice."
"Then I grabbed a handful of snow and dropped it down the front of your shirt," he finished, whispering in her ear.
"Then I slapped you and walked home alone. Once I got back I told my brother thinking he would get angry with you but he just laughed. I hit him too."
She had started to relax in his arms as they remembered that night together. "The two times that first summer when you left for a week, the extra days you were gone you were with a girl your parents chose for you."
Now he just rolled his eyes. "If my parents ever chose a girl for me I would run far and fast."
"But you were with a girl. Was it one of the dozen cheerleaders you toyed with?"
"I broke up with Kanako only a week after I started helping you with your school work and I haven't looked at another girl since, let alone spent time with one." He could tell she didn't believe him by the way her head hung so he lifted her chin till their eyes met. "Pirika I have been with only you since the beginning and I don't want anyone else."
Looking down at the scar on her wrist she thought about it for a bit more before she continued, forgetting about any of her dreams. "Onii-chan did this to me when I was little and upset him," she said pointing to it.
For the first time Ren hesitated. All of her previous memories had been involving just him or him and her brother. Ren knew how she got it of course, Horohoro had told him last year when he asked about it, although only her brother knew the details. Still, this wasn't his story to tell.
She had noticed his reluctance and thought he was just trying to think up a lie. After waiting another moment she pulled back and looked up at him fearfully. "Tell me how I got this and don't you dare lie to me!"
Giving a sigh Ren spoke. "Your brother didn't give it to you, nor did I or any of the others. You got it on your fifth birthday, years before any of the rest of us met you. I can't tell you any more than that."
"Can't or won't? Maybe you just can't come up with a story good enough!"
"I only know the basics of what happened. This is something you need to hear from your brother. One thing that I will tell you is the person who gave you that will never hurt you again."
Pirika looked down at the ground and tried to keep the tears from her eyes while deciding whether or not she believed him. Finally she met his eye again.
"Why should I believe you when you told me that you loved me that night when you had never said it before? Not when you first kissed me, not when you tried to get me to sleep with you, not even when you asked for my hand."
Now he looked uncomfortable. "I've always felt that way; it just isn't something I have ever said to anyone before. Seeing you that night after I had all but lost hope, I-I've never been that happy in entire life. Not when I first kissed you, not when I tried to get you in bed, not even when I asked you to marry me. Any of those times I could have survived, no matter what had happened, no matter what you did. As long as you were safe and happy you could have told me you never wanted to see me again and I would have survived. But when I found out you had been with Hao, and I didn't know what he had been doing to you, or how he had tricked you. The fear of that and the joy at seeing you alive and mostly well, I-I don't know."
She couldn't help but cry at his words. They were filled with a level of emotion she had never heard from the man. Suddenly it all overwhelmed her. All the memories of the two of them together were coming back to her, stronger than before. The memories Hao had given her were fading, starting to blur together. Things with Ren felt right, as things with Hao never had. Looking down at the ring again on her hand she remembered the night they had been in his bed at his apartment.
#
He was lying above her kissing her deeply as he had been for the last hour, tongue searching her mouth. It had been six months since the first time he had kissed her when she had been barely 16. Six long wonderful months, but he had wanted her for so long he didn't know how much longer he could wait. Slowly he moved his hand under her shirt. He felt her squirm slightly under his touch but when she didn't stop him he continued. Each move he made was slow and careful as he knew she had never been anywhere near this far. When he slipped his hand under her skirt though, she pushed him away.
"I-I'm sorry Ren-kun but I c-can't," she whispered thoroughly ashamed of herself.
Rolling off of her he groaned through his ragged breaths. "Damn it woman. Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked desperately.
As she sat up he could hear her start to cry. "I-I'm s-sorry," she stuttered.
Sighing he turned towards her and opened his arms. "Come here," he snapped. She looked over fearfully, as if expecting it was a trap. "Come. Here.," he ordered again. This time she obeyed, albeit slowly. Once she was within reach he pulled her close.
"Please don't hate me," she pleaded through her tears.
"Stupid snow bunny," he said, almost smiling at how silly she could be. "I could never hate you. The problem is how much I want you." She wrapped her arms tightly around him as if afraid he would push her away. He sighed deeply as he started running his hands through her hair. "You had better be worth this," he muttered coldly. Pulling away slightly she looked up at him confused, sniffling lightly. Giving her a sad smirk he pushed her back down onto the bed. "If I don't get to screw you, I am going to make out with you," he told her before his lips met hers again, starting gently but quickly making it more needy.
"I love you Ren-kun," she whispered softly against his lips when he pulled back to breath.
"Shut up," he ordered, only succeeding in making her giggle before he captured her lips again.
#
Thinking back to the night before and the way Hao had kissed her and touched her, she pushed away from Ren, ran to the bathroom and started to throw up. Ren was only just behind and held her silky blue hair up to keep it out of the way.
It was a few minutes before she straightened up again, face flushed as if with fever. He didn't speak, instead he just stayed with her as she rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash. Once she was finished she turned and moved towards him, wracked with sobs.
He held her in his arms until she moved back and looked up at him. "Ren-kun, I want you to have sex with me."
Now he looked down at her coldly and walked away from her. "Pirika, I won't sleep with you just because you regret what Hao did to you," he snapped but she grabbed his arm frantically.
"I didn't sl-." Taking a deep breath she tried again after she stuttered. "Hao never did anything to me, I promise. He wanted to last night but I fell apart and begged for another day. It was all I could think of at the time. I'm still a-a virgin Ren-kun and I want you now," she insisted.
"Fine! Whatever! I believe you. Why are you pushing like this? You all but begged me to wait for years. I agreed and I was willing to wait to make you happy. Now, what? Does none of that matter anymore?"
She fell to the ground and held herself at his sharp words. "I think you're telling the truth and I think Hao was using me. I have to live with those memories forever. He almost took everything from me. You are the only reason I'm still okay. Everything that has happened just makes me think waiting is stupid. I love you Ren-kun. I love you more than anything and I don't want anyone else to get me first. Everything can change so quickly and that would be something I can never take back. Please, I don't want to wait anymore."
Standing in front of him was the woman he had dreamed of for years, telling him that she wanted him and he was supposed to resist her? He tried, but she looked so weak and pathetic sitting there crying, wanting nothing more than to be held and loved. After everything that she had been through could he deny her that? Could he deny her anything?
Although he would never admit it, he blamed himself. He knew his parents would never approve of her but still he tried to drag her to China to meet them.
He knew in the end she would only be hurt by it, just for a chance to stay in the family he had always hated and never trusted. If he hadn't made her go, they never would have been in the crash and Hao never would have seen his chance. She never would have gone through this if he had put her first like he should have. It was his fault.
Reaching down he pulled her to her feet and sent his lips crashing down onto hers. The tears kept flowing down her cheeks but she wrapped her arms around his neck and met him just as eagerly. It was desperate the way they clung to each other, but he was still being careful with her. If they were going to do this here and now he wanted to make it everything she had been hoping for.
#
She couldn't keep the smile off her face as her head rested on his bare chest. The way he had touched her, it was as if she was made of glass and he had feared breaking her. He had held her gently and his fingers had glided over her pale white skin.
"Was I worth it Ren-kun?" she asked with a giggle.
He couldn't help but laugh softly at how innocent and sweet she could be. "Wo ai ni," he whispered into her ear.
"What does that mean?" she asked looking up at him.
The cocky smirk that she saw made her smile grow. "I think you can figure it out snow bunny," he told her, as she lay back down onto him.
"I love you too Ren-kun," she whispered as she closed her eyes.
#
Authors note: Please read and review. Show me that love for Shaman King isn't dead!
