Aftershocks
Morgana's feet touched the floor of the cold, empty room. She smiled at the situation she found herself in. After having put so much effort in getting Merlin on her side, she was now on his. The journey there had been a frightful one but there was a glimmer of hope at the end. He said he would restore her to the throne and she believed him but he had changed more than once. It would do her well to remain a bit sceptical in case his loyalties for Arthur were to resurface.
Entering the common room Morgana saw a familiar figure slumped on one of the chairs.
"Merlin?"
His eyes opened before closing again and stretching his limbs.
"Good morning." He yawned.
Morgana sat down on one of the other chairs and took a good look at the sorcerer. It didn't look like he had gotten much sleep lately and even his hair was more of a mess than usual.
"You look terrible."
"I'm fine." He sighed.
Morgana shook her head once more. She thought she was the one.
"You're not." She insisted.
"How would you know?" He snapped but immediately something of regret crossed his face.
Morgana saw this odd kind of anger as shards of the broken curse. This shard of glass, losing his mother, was sharpened by the curse. To remove it she would have to bleed as well but she did not bleed anger, she bled a different emotion.
"When I lost Morgause, I cried for days. Slowly but surely I cried less frequent until it stopped. The memories still hurt and if I think about them for too long, then I start crying again." She looked at Merlin who listened silently. "There's a time for everything. Camelot can wait."
Merlin wasn't sure what stood before him. It didn't seem to be the witch that conquered Camelot. No, this beautiful creature appeared to be of a far more gentle nature. Could it be that the events of the last few days had changed her as much as they did him? Or was this who she really was, the woman behind the mask? "Not the woman behind the mask but the woman she's always been." He thought.
"Should you feel the need to talk..." She offered but he wasn't ready yet.
"Thank you."
She gave him a shy smile as and stood up but was reluctant to leave him like this. It was difficult to let go of this, even if it was for just a moment, when all she wanted to do was make him better. Her sister had told her that she was good at healing but his wounds, his scars, ran deep under his skin. They would not yield to magic and never let themselves be forced. All she could do now was to wait and see, helplessly.
It took him just over a day to work up the courage to approach her. She sat in the common room and busy reading 'A History of Hexes'.
"Morgana?"
She looked up from the book and saw the young sorcerer standing before her awkwardly. They hadn't spoken much apart from good morning and good evening. Dinner was a tricky thing as she still didn't trust anything he served her. The warlock didn't take offense and was actually surprised she wasn't visibly angry with him when he first prepared dinner.
"I want to say sorry. For Morgause." He said.
Morgana nodded as she laid the book aside. It hadn't occurred to her that he might approach the topic of her sister. Apparently, even in grief, the real Merlin couldn't be selfish. His mind had walked through his memories and found himself to be the devil. He had been like Arthur was now. He was the one that took her family away from her. He felt so much pain, loneliness and an overwhelming sense of dread and only now did he realise what he had done to her.
"It's alright." Part of her saw he was genuine but that didn't make it alright.
She merely said what he needed to hear.
"How... I can't stop thinking about my mother." He confessed as he finally sat down opposite of her.
"Memories?"
Merlin nodded.
"Would you like to tell me about them?"
He couldn't get his head around the idea that her comforting words were so sincere. Her voice had become softer, more caring, than he remembered. Had he lost the ability to see through her lies or did he really matter that much to her? His mind said one, his heart another. Merlin refused to believe that she was plotting against him when all she did was support him. He talked to her about his mother, still withholding that she lived, and she seemed capable of relating to him. He shared stories about how he got into trouble with his magic and how Will was usually involved. It took a bit of time before he allowed himself to let the tears flow. He was glad she was there.
Two days passed since that heartfelt moment. Morgana didn't see him much as they both kept to themselves. He was out when she woke up but she was there when he came back. It was quite like him to be mysterious but following him seemed like a bad idea. She believed he needed his space and he would come to her in time. It wasn't until Morgana finished her book that she figured out where he went. The witch had gone to the small library to return her book and was surprised to find most of the books, including the damaged ones, back on the shelves. The door closed with a soft, echoing thud and seconds later Merlin's face popped-out from behind one of the shelves.
"Hey." He said with a shy smile.
"I was wondering where you went." Said Morgana as she strode to the more spacious area of the library.
Books were stacked against the walls in two groups, damaged and destroyed.
"The place was a mess." Merlin clarified.
Morgana's brows knit in a mixture of wonder and confusion. He had always cleaned up after Arthur but it wasn't because he liked 'neat and clean'. She remembered Gaius telling him, on several occasions, to clean his room and every time he would object because it was 'an organized mess' and things only got lost when he cleaned up.
"If I remember correctly, so was your room."
"My magic tends to roam while I sleep." He replied.
She scrutinized him for a moment. The bags under his eyes had lessened and his hair was back to being its usual mess again.
"So, how are you feeling?" She turned to the more serious topic.
"Not great but..." His eyes looked into hers. "I'm sleeping again. Thank you."
She smiled and he thought she would continue and ask about conquering Camelot but she didn't. She moved through the shelves and took the time to find the new home for her book. She placed a hand on her chest and told herself to calm down. Her heart was racing. When he gazed into her eyes she had felt such fear and she didn't know why. The look he had given her was not unfamiliar. It came from a moment somewhere before the poisoning but she never knew what it meant.
Morgana put her book on a random shelf and made her way to the door when Merlin's voice called her back.
"Morgana, could we talk for a moment?"
The fear grew but the rule of her mind was stronger than her emotions. He probably wanted to talk about his mother. She turned to him and he continued.
"Our fight in the forest-"
She shook her head and interrupted him, "Don't apologize."
The warlock chuckled and smiled. "I wanted to say you need to improve."
Morgana was offended. She comforted him and he just said she sucked at magic. She thought he would at least show some respect but apparently not. This was the kind of blunt remark she had expected when she still schemed with Morgause, not in the first days of their alliance.
Merlin noticed her shocked look and continued, "Let me explain. Once magic is allowed, your enemies will try and use it to their advantage and I need you to be ready before they do."
The words changed his bluntness into honesty. If people were allowed to practice out in the open then those same, dangerous people might be able to come close and make an attempt on her life. Morgana had listened well and knew what he was implying but rather than jumping on it, she remained silent as she wanted to hear what else she had to say.
"You helped my with my mum. Let me help you with this."
"Okay, let's go." Morgana agreed and left the library.
Merlin was lost for a moment. "Wait, does she mean now?" He hurried to the door because she most definitely meant just that. Morgana had gone to the same courtyard where he had fought Nimueh, causing Merlin to hesitate once more, and it took him several seconds to realise that the witch was waiting for him to begin. He took a deep breath and decided that it may be best to start with what she already knew.
"You're powerful but you don't know how to wield it properly."
There was that look of annoyance again and Merlin decided to ignore it as he had done with her glares when she was still in Camelot.
"Black magic won't help you when surrounded by knights." He clarified and turned towards one of the great stone pillars that surrounded them.
"Forbaern!" Flames erupted from the palm of his hand and completely engulfed the pillar.
Morgana stared in awe at the display of great magic. This was the power Agravaine meant when he relayed the tale of how he had boiled the Knights in their armour. He had been practicing without any interruptions about petty chores as had happened in Camelot. He had grown a lot since their duel and not a single hair on her head wished for a rematch. Merlin performed the spell a few more times to see how much he needed to hold back so he could train her. Eventually he decided to let the flames reach less than an arm's length. She was glad that he wasn't paying attention to her gawking at him.
He rubbed his hands and looked at her.
"Let's start with a shield, Shieldan."
Morgana cast the spell and Merlin let the flames brush against it lightly. The first time he did it, the shield collapsed immediately and Morgana, as headstrong as he remembered her to be, tried again and again. It went on for what felt like hours but thankfully there was progress. By the end of their training, Morgana was exhausted but Merlin seemed only mildly winded.
"It's getting late, maybe we should call it a day. You look like you could use a meal." Said Merlin.
"I could really do with a bath but I'm that lucky, am I?"
"There is one in the building across the library."
The building across the library was a ruin but there was a bath and privacy. Morgana almost moaned as the warm bath caressed her skin. It had been a while since she last had a proper bath. Bathing in the valley where her hovel was would have been a fool's choice. Any pervert could have been looking at her and she wouldn't even have noticed.
Her thoughts wandered back to her lesson. Merlin was far more powerful than she initially thought he was but that wasn't her main concern. What troubled her was that he was being more like himself again and she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. Was his anger towards Arthur born from his mother's death or from the runes beneath his bed? Their greatest problem was still Emrys and she would ask him about it soon. Then there was that look in his eyes, the one that made her legs go weak, what was that? It made absolutely no sense for her to be scared of him when all he did was help her and promise her the throne. She wondered how he planned to do it. He had demanded to do it his way and that meant a different way but was it sound?
After her bath, Morgana went to Merlin's new study and found him there with a glass of wine and several stacks of books. He wasn't reading anything but parchment lay before him. She sat down opposite of him and discretely tried to read what he had written down. While she peeked at his writing, Merlin looked at how her wet hair draped itself over her shoulder. Without the dirt, the green eyeshadow and tangled hair she seemed so much more at ease. Though she did not know, her restored beauty disarmed him and for a moment he saw the young Lady of Camelot sitting in front of him.
"What's the plan?" She asked.
He took a deep breath as he was reminded which Morgana sat before him.
"We could take Camelot in an instant but that would lead to war. The people might even rebel." He said rather plainly.
Morgana remained quiet, waiting for him to continue. Thus far it was a tactic that seemed to work well with the sorcerer. It showed that him that he had her attention and she noticed he responded well to it. In the back of her mind there was a faint sense of sadness. "Did no one give you the attention you deserved?" The servant worked, the apprentice studied, the sorcerer protected, the drinking buddy drank, the colleagues jested and no one bothered their friends with sad stories. Only some friends, those who really cared, heard the sad stories. Arthur was thick, always had been, Gaius didn't want to see it, as he had done with her, and Gwen... Maybe he had gotten better at hiding it.
"Arthur is Uther." His words pulled her from her thoughts as he continues. "He's made poor choices and I'm the one cleaning up his mess. I told him not to kill Caerleon but he didn't listen, he never does."
"So we wait for him to make a mistake?" Morgana chuckled and Merlin shook his head.
The problem with Morgana's plots was that they focused on death. Her ambitions always came second to her desire to kill Arthur. They never fully embraced the darkness that blackened dreams and blurred the lines.
"No. We break his rule through guile rather than force."
"How?"
"You want Camelot. Let's make Camelot want you."
AN:
Next two chapters will focus on someone new to this plotline but I'll make for the lack of Mergana shortly after.
