Chapter 7-A Time To Refrain From Embracing

Jack smiled at the Secret Service Agent as he shifted the precious bundle on his arm. White House visits had become more frequent since Grace had been born. The first time he had tried to beg off a late night meeting because of a lack of childcare, President Hayes had ordered him to bring little Grace along. Mrs. Elizabeth Hayes, call me Betsy, had taken one look at the newborn and fallen in love with her. And once she had learned that little Grace had no living grandparents, Betsy declared little Grace her adopted granddaughter and nothing Jack said would change her mind. Jack gave up trying to argue with the First Lady when President Hayes had pointed out that it was futile to argue with a woman whose suppressed grandmother instincts had kicked into high gear.

By now, the visits were old hat. Jack would make the Secret Service happy by only bringing the minimum amount of baby gear while knowing that Mrs. Hayes had decked out a corner in the President's private quarters with anything 'her little princess' needed during his visits. Usually, Betsy would take Grace for her own visit, while the 'boys discussed business'.

Tonight was no different. The President and First Lady were waiting for him in the private study upstairs with the rest of the Joint Chiefs.

"And there's my darling girl," Betsy declared to the group as soon as she caught sight of Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes and dutifully handed the newborn over to Betsy, "Ma'am."

Once Betsy had Grace securely in her grasp, she turned to the room, "Well, gentlemen, we'll take our leave now. Try not to work too late." She graced Jack with one final smile before exiting the small study.

Jack closed the door behind her and took his seat with the others. He spent the next hour outlining the current state of the Atlantis outpost and what little the SG Teams had picked up about the Ori threat, including SG-1's recent encounter with the Prior on P8X-412.

"Jack, how is SG-1 holding up?" President Hayes asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"Fine as far as I can tell," he replied easily. "They're past the initial rough spots and both Colonel Mitchell and Ms. MalDoran seem to work well with Daniel and Teal'c. In fact, Hank has asked to move Mrs. MalDoran into a more permanent status."

President Hayes nodded and then cleared his throat uncomfortably, "And Colonel Carter?"

Jack glanced around the room. All of the Joint Chiefs seemed to look uncomfortable. He sighed internally, "Well, Sir, she is back to work at Groom Lake. Col. Thomason is glad to have her back. She should be off limited duty by now."

The group continued to look uncomfortable and without any words being spoken, Jack knew that they wanted Sam back in the Mountain, whether she wanted to be back or not.

Objectively, Jack knew that Sam would be an invaluable asset in the fight against the Ori. Quick access to the Stargate and any Atlantis related problems would be a bonus for her. However, her research and development team was also breaking all previous records for useful tools and weapons. She was just as vital to that installation as she had previously been at Stargate Command.

Subjectively, Jack wanted her safe, relatively, at Groom Lake. Better yet, Sam wanted to be at Groom Lake and her preference should make a difference. But bitter experience had taught him that what the Joint Chiefs wanted, they got. Regardless of how much it would cost to the individuals, or even if it was a good idea.

Glancing around the room one more time, Jack leaned back in his chair and simply dropped one word into the silence, "Why?"

"Jack," the president started, "Colonel Carter's field experience alone is too valuable an asset to not utilize in the fight against the Ori."

Jack remained silent and continued to regard the increasingly uncomfortable president.

"Her technical expertise is needed where it can be utilized more fully," General Manning started. Jack's weighted gaze moved to the general. "We can't let her go stale in R and D."

Jack was only just able to muffle a snort of humor at the man's expense. Apparently, the general had never met Sam. If he had, he would know that Research and Development was her bread and butter. If anything, she grew sharper with the challenges placed before her.

"Anyone else?" Jack asked as the room fell into silence, a half smile on his face. More than one man looked away from Jack's penetrating gaze.

The President opened his mouth to speak, but ended up just sighing.

"Alright then," Jack said into the quiet. "I know Colonel Carter very well. I know that she would be invaluable no matter where she was placed and she is too damn good an officer to argue with the assignment. But I also know that she requested Groom Lake." He let that sink into the room. "Her current Commanding Officer can't seem to say enough to express how valuable she has been in advancing our knowledge and understanding of the alien technology we have acquired over the years."

He paused, resigning himself to the inevitable, "Regardless of her valuable skills, I'm not the one who should make this decision. No matter what I decide, an argument could be made that I'm far from objective on this subject. So I'll leave it in your hands." He watched the surprised expressions before continuing, "I'll only advise you to carefully weigh all the factors before you decide. If you decide that you need her more in one place over the other, you need to consider who will fill her role when she leaves."

Jack looked everyone in the eye before turning back to the President. President Hayes was nodding quietly in agreement with a slight smile. "Mr. President, if that is all; I'll excuse myself while you discuss this."

President Hayes seemed to shake himself as Jack rose, "Yes, Jack. I'll let you know what we decide." Jack nodded to the other generals and took his leave of the room.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG—SG

Sam read the orders again, hoping that they had changed since the last ten times she read them. Nope.

She sighed. At least it was only a temporary transfer. But why not write it up as a temporary duty instead of a temporary transfer? And when did General Vidrine start signing her orders?

Sam really didn't want to go back to the SGC. Her last visit, hormones aside, was not the most pleasant experience. She had slipped into a mild depression, after her child was born. But working to gain back her figure and former fitness levels had helped her work past depression and into her new normal.

She was surprised at how much she missed her child. Daughter. The nurse had said the baby was a girl. Her daughter. No, HIS daughter, she corrected herself. A day didn't go by that she didn't imagine how her daughter looked. How much she must have grown in the two months that had passed. Had she started to cut her first tooth? Were her eyes blue or brown?

"It doesn't matter," she whispered to herself. She focused back on her new orders. Six months back at the SGC. Six months to work with SGC personnel and to get LtC Cameron Mitchell up to speed on SG-1's team duties. Six months surrounded by memories of better times. She let out a slow breath, "The longest six months of my life."

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"Now, this is a team," Cam whispered to himself as he entered the briefing room, bouncing with excitement.

SG-1 was back together. His faith had been rewarded. Sam was back, even if it was just on a temporary basis. Cam was certain that temporary would eventually be expanded to permanent as Sam got back on her feet after having the baby. Who wouldn't want to be back in the action after being away for so long?

He even had an extra team member in Vala. Granted, she and Dr Jackson came as a pair at the moment, but Cam really liked her sharp sense of humor. Vala mixed things up a bit.

Better yet, she felt right. General O'Neill's description of SG-1 as a calling, couldn't have been more accurate. Cam had felt that sense of rightness the moment he met Vala. The cunning thief had resonated with him. She fit. Not to mention that Cam really enjoyed how she could completely confound Dr Jackson with one neatly placed word. Teal'c seemed to enjoy his teammate's discomfort and had graciously accepted Vala into the SGC.

Even now, the two aliens had their heads together conspiring against Dr Jackson.

"Morning," Cam greeted the room cheerfully. Receiving only half-hearted responses, Cam refused to let his good mood go.

General Landry stalked into the room with a swift, "as you were," and took his seat at the head of the table. "Alright, SG-1…," he started, piercing everyone with his sharp gaze. "Col Carter, welcome back. I'm going to assign you a few easy missions to start with as you get back into the swing of things."

"Sir?" Sam replied with confusion, "My team?"

"Yes, Colonel. As the senior military member, you've been assigned as team lead," the general replied.

"Sir, unless something has changed, my assignment here is temporary. I have no problem being assigned to a team for the duration. However, I was under the impression that I was to advise Col Mitchell. Not to replace him," she replied sharply.

General Landry leaned back in his chair, "Temporary or not, you still have seniority."

Sam leaned in, placing her hands on the table, "Seniority that I gladly waive, due to the temporary nature of my assignment. My team is back in Nevada in R and D. This is Col Mitchell's team."

Cam was surprised at the vehemence in her words. Some of his excitement faded a bit. Obviously, Sam really didn't want to be here. Cam looked at the others in the room and could easily read the surprise and disappointment in Dr Jackson's face. Teal'c was as inscrutable as always. Vala appeared to be contemplating the dirt under her fingernails.

"Sir," Cam interrupted, before the general decided to take offense at Sam's words. "Col Carter is right. If she has no problem with me as team lead, then I have no problem listening to her excellent advice." Cam gave her a quick smile before turning an innocent face to the general.

General Landry narrowed his eyes and then nodded. "Very well." He jotted down a quick note. "Col Mitchell, these next few missions will mostly be revisiting known allies and spreading the word about the Ori threat," the general continued, carefully.

The rest of the briefing went smoothly. Cam could feel his excitement building again. The band was back together.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

One week, Sam sighed angrily, as she stalked down the hallway to the women's locker room. Back one week and the whole universe conspired to drag her back here permanently. Instead of a nice easy mission to Hebridan, SG-1 was thrown into the Ori battle at Kallana.

Sam had miscalculated. Worse, she had taken the intelligence from the Goa'uld Nerus at face value. She knew better than that. She shook her head. She used to know better than that. Now, it was just another bad miscalculation in a long line of miscalculations. She slammed open the door to the locker room, angry at herself for being fooled so easily.

General Landry had made the call to talk to Nerus. She did warn him about the duplicitous nature of the goa'uld. She should have considered that the slimy snake was working for the enemy. At least, she should have considered the possibility.

HE would not have been fooled.

Sam stopped at her locker, and almost reverently touched Vala's locker. Her anger leaked away. She sat down on the bench. She lost a teammate. She had barely known Vala. She had miscalculated there as well. She failed Vala. She failed Landry. She had failed. If not for Vala, the Ori would have a beachhead in their galaxy.

Sam quickly changed clothes from her combat gear to her civvies. She grabbed her purse and keys and slammed the locker shut. She had to get out of here. She slammed out of the locker room only to be confronted by Cam loitering in the hallway, obviously waiting for her.

I really don't need this right now, she sighed.

"Sam," Cam greeted her with a casual smile. "I'm glad I caught you."

"Yeah, Cam, what do you need?" she replied.

Her frown didn't even slow him down. "I was hoping to get your opinion about a few of your past missions," Cam bounced with excitement, reminding her of a hyper puppy.

Her eyes narrowed. "Now? You want to do this right now?" she ground out, trying to reign in her anger. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Daniel and Teal'c ahd exited the men's locker room and stopped to watch. Great, now she had an audience.

"If you've got some time," Cam continued with a grin.

"Cameron," she started. Both Daniel and Teal'c backed up a step at her tone. "I have been here one whole week. We just got back to Earth after watching the destruction of an entire planet. After losing a teammate. And you want to know if I'm up to reminiscing about a few past missions?"

"Um..." the smile faded from his face.

"No, Cameron, I don't have the time or energy right now to spend tripping down memory lane with you. I'm going to go back to my crappy little rented apartment and attempt to forget the last few crappy days." She didn't bother to wait for a response from him, just stormed off down the hallway to the elevators.

She heard the footsteps follow her. One set, she identified casually without turning. A wry smile crossed her face. Daniel, of course. The footsteps stopped next to her and casually waited in the silence for the elevator to arrive.

Sam basked in the silence. She needed it right now. The elevator beeped and they both stepped in.

Daniel made it till level 18 before he broke the silence. "So," he started tentatively. "Crappy apartment, huh?"

She smiled, her anger fading to nothing. "God, I've missed you," she said turning to face him.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied honestly. "Wanna go get a beer?" she asked. She suddenly didn't want to be alone. She had been alone for so long and this was Daniel. Daniel was…Daniel. Comforting, calming, supportive…Daniel.

"I'd love to," he replied without hesitation. Then shyly added, "I think I need it."
The elevator doors opened and they both signed out at level 12 and climbed into the next elevator.

"Vala?" she asked as the doors closed, watching his face.

He hesitated and then nodded slowly, "yeah."

They rode to the top in silence.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c called out as he watched Daniel start after Sam.

Cam was still in shock over Sam's angry words. He couldn't quite rationalize his Academy friend with this new woman. He sighed, "Yeah, Teal'c," he said as he turned to the Jaffa.

"Do not take Colonel Carter's words to heart," the big man stated with quiet dignity.

Um, "what?" he asked, totally confused.

"Colonel Carter is finding it difficult to return to this facility. Her words of anger were not solely directed at you," Teal'c elaborated.

"Why?" Cam's mind raced to try and figure out what could be bothering Sam about coming back. She was fine the last time she was here. At least until she fainted and then went into labor…OH! He winced, "The baby," he stated nodding.
"No," Teal'c replied.

What? "No? What else could it be?" he asked.

Teal'c hesitated. Better yet, Cam could actually see the hesitation. Big guy was not comfortable talking about this. "It's okay," Cam tried to back track.

"It is not," Teal'c started, "Recent events have served to remind her of other times we have failed a teammate."

Things clicked into place, "This is about Vala," he said unnecessarily.

"Indeed. Colonel Carter feels this failure very deeply," Teal'c continued.

"I should go talk to her," Cam said with a wince.

"You should not," Teal'c said, the strength of his words stopping Cam in his tracks.

"No?"

"No. Allow Daniel Jackson to assist her through this time," Teal'c stated.

"But…"

"No."

"Okay, if you're sure," Cam finished. He turned down the hallway where Sam and Daniel had disappeared. He sighed.

"Would you care to spar, Colonel Mitchell?" Teal'c asked.

Cam flinched. "Um…sure," he replied. And slowly followed the Jaffa to the gym and what he was sure was going to be a brutal beating. At least, he wouldn't be worried about his other teammates.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

O'Malley's was quiet as they took a seat at a booth in the bar. They both ordered drinks and spent the first half an hour exchanging small talk.

Eventually, the alcohol had loosened both their tongues and Daniel finally broke.

"I miss her," he said as he stared at the label of his second beer.

"Vala," Sam stated.

"Yeah, I mean, she could be so…but I guess, I got used to her," he sighed, sadly.

"I liked her," Sam stated, with a fond smile. "She was funny, smart. She kept you on your toes. She was fun. I wish I got to know her better."

"Colonel Mitchell wasn't quite sure what to do with her," Daniel chuckled, and then sighed. "I miss the old team," he said with a melancholy tone.

Sam gave him a pained expression, "So do I." She paused before continuing, "It was all so much easier back then."

Daniel snorted.

Sam conceded his point, "Alright, it wasn't easier. But I miss it."

Daniel sighed, "Yeah, Jack just had this way of… I don't know… making things seem easier."

Sam stiffened up as Daniel brought up Jack. "Yeah, but we can't go back," she stated firmly, thinking of a baby girl with big brown eyes.

"No, we can't. But at least we can go forward," Daniel smiled. "You know he'll be here in a week for the Atlantis Team interviews."

Sam froze, "He will?"

"Yeah," Daniel continued, "It'll be just like old times. Sgt Kelter is already planning on chocolate cake while he's here."

"I…" the words seemed to choke her, "I miss it." Him…them… the picture of father and daughter brought tears to her eyes.

Daniel nodded, "Have you talked to him yet?" he asked, quietly.

Sam's carefully constructed mask cracked, "I can't," she whispered. "I can't do that to him."

Daniel watched her face carefully, "Why not?"

Sam seemed to fade into herself, "I can't put him through that. He shouldn't have to be conflicted. It's easier if I just leave it alone." Leave them alone, the thought whispered. Tears threatened to fall.

Daniel sighed, "I have."

"What?" she asked, drowning in her own thoughts. Trying desperately to hold the tears back.

Daniel took a sip and watched Sam as he said, "I've talked to Jack."

The tears broke through her tight control.

"He looks good. We talked about… everything. Teal'c and I even had lunch with him while I was in DC," Daniel continued watching her closely. "You should talk to him."

"I can't…" she let out a deep breath, "I can't face his anger… his hate… his disappointment."

Daniel frowned. He had underestimated how deep a hole Sam had dug for herself. "He doesn't hate you," he stated firmly. "He forgave Teal'c and I for… I know that he would forgive you too."

Sam kept shaking her head in denial.

"Talk to him, Sam. Just talk to him," Daniel insisted.

Sam let out a shaky breath, "I'll try."

Daniel smiled, and Sam couldn't help but smile back, "Good." They both sat in silence for a few minutes. "Did I tell you about how Vala got those bonding bracelets?"

Sam sighed in relief, "No, how?"

"Well, it all started with a guy named Arlos…"

TBC