At shell22: I'll make it up to you in the next chapter (not this one yet).
Queen of Hearts
The night of conquest had passed. Ruadan and his Saxon troops held a higher rank than the city guard and they were surprisingly noble and honest for outlaws. Early in the morning, Merlin, Morgana and Ruadan had a disagreement in the throne room.
"Emrys, you can't be serious." Argued Ruadan.
"I am, and don't call me that."
Morgana sided with Ruadan, "We don't owe them anything, least of all Arthur's soldiers. "
"Don't you see that this is where you have to be different?"
" 'Lower the taxes', done. 'Protect the eastern villages', Ruadan agreed to do that. I've done everything I said I would."
"Arthur was the tyrant King, make yourself the merciful Queen. I know how to prevent attacks. Arthur's soldiers are more than just soldiers. Every single one of them is son to a mother and a father. Some of them have wives and children who all live within the city. You can't condemn them for what Arthur made them do."
Morgana didn't like the fact that he had a point. She wanted to be a strong ruler but that was what both Arthur and Uther called themselves and it was what Morgause told her to be. Two of them were dead and the third just lost his throne. Rather than taking the decision herself, she turned to Ruadan for a counter-argument.
"He does have a point." Said Ruadan.
"If you can guarantee me that no one will try to kill me, fine, make the arrangements."
"Thank you." Merlin grinned a bit at this little victory.
"Does this conclude our business for the day?" Asked Ruadan.
"Yes, it does." Replied Morgana.
Ruadan left the room but Merlin remained.
"Thank you," repeated Merlin "I know you rather not have people tell you what to do."
"It ended well last time. Also, get yourself something nice to wear. You're not a servant anymore." The fact that he still looked like Arthur's servant annoyed her constantly.
"I'll be off then. I haven't visited Gaius yet."
"I still need a handmaiden." Remarked Morgana.
The door to the physician's quarters opened with a loud creaking sound. It did not surprise Merlin that his mentor was there.
"It's good to see you alive and well, my boy." Said Gaius as he got up.
"No thanks to you." Merlin brutally replied.
The young warlock had not forgotten about his mentor's inaction during his execution and his mother's imprisonment. It saddened Gaius to see his former ward in such a dark demeanour.
"I know we've let you down but I don't believe this to be the right course of action."
It was obvious that the old physician was referring to Morgana and it stung the warlock. The people made their choice and it was Morgana.
"Did you tell Arthur that as well?" Merlin was referring to his mother's kidnapping.
"We all make mistakes-"
"Please," Merlin mocked him. "If you could go back in time, you wouldn't change a thing. You can't call it a mistake because it's so much more than that. You made the wrong decision and you don't even see it, do you?"
"When was loyalty the wrong decision? You used to believe in Arthur, Merlin. Though it is true that he needs guidance, he has a big heart which can be kind and generous." Gaius spoke with conviction but it only fed the darkness that had recently been awoken in the warlock's heart.
"Uther committed genocide, Arthur's obsession may spark another one and you speak of loyalty? You chose Uther over all sorcerers. You chose him over Nimueh, Balinor, Vivienne, you even chose him over Alice."
"His death would have left the realm in chaos." The survivor of the Purge tried to defend his actions.
"And lining up sorcerers for execution is the order you prefer?!" He taunted the old physician.
"You weren't there!" Gaius rebuked.
Merlin didn't understand how Gaius could deal with what he had done. Uther's genocide spared no one. The old, the young and even the unborn had been murdered during the purge. Gaius might have saved Balinor and Morgause but that wasn't the word Merlin would have used. He sooner thought Gaius had spared them because he could have stopped the killing in an instant. The warlock knew he himself wasn't innocent either but that had nothing to do with the Purge. Men had died for Morgana's victory, both good and bad. Merlin couldn't care less about them but then he didn't pretend to care about them the way Gaius did about his kin.
The warlock leaned forward a bit and softly replied.
"Be glad that I wasn't."
On the other side of the castle, Morgana observed the women that either already served in the castle or had applied for a position there. Not everyone was thrilled to see the change in management and wished that they had left the city before it had.
"If any of you don't want to be my handmaiden, you may leave now."
This prompted the departure of almost everyone in the room. Only three candidates remained. Morgana asked all three why they want the position.
The first candidate was a bit plump and slightly older than herself.
"I've worked here for a while and I've always wanted to show my talents." answered the first candidate.
"Which are?" Inquired Morgana.
"I can cook very well and I even know how to milk a cow."
Clearly this woman was part of the kitchen staff since these 'talents' were practically a description of her current job and quite useless for the position she was applying for.
"Can you ride a horse?" Asked Morgana.
"Ehm... No. My father-"
"Is irrelevant." Morgana finished for her. "If you have no other useful skills to add, I'll have to say no."
The woman looked at her feet in resignation and the Queen moved on to her next candidate.
The second candidate was younger than Morgana but the Queen could tell she came from a more wealthy family by the patterns on the dress she wore.
Morgana repeated her initial question to her.
"Because I believe in your cause, that magic should be returned to Albion." said the second candidate.
This woman was so upbeat and eager that it almost annoyed Morgana already.
"What skills do you have?"
"I can read and write, I'm familiar with the Kingdoms of Albion and I can ride."
Morgana internally summarized it as 'correspondence' before moving on to the third and final candidate who was visibly lower class. The third candidate's dress was simple and Morgana could see a thin line where the fabric had been sewn together.
"And why do you want the position?" Asked Morgana.
"Because it's the place where I can be most useful to you."
"Useful how?"
"I am a druid and therefor I know druid culture. I have no fear of magic and within our community I have learned to read and write."
Morgana liked the fact that she was a druid but that didn't mean she would automatically get the job.
"There are more Kingdoms in Albion than there are druid tribes. Why should I chose you over her?" Morgana was testing her.
"Living in a druid community means learning to contribute to it. I've learned how to sew, how to hunt for rabbits and identifying useful herbs. I also know how to ride and saddle a horse."
Morgana did not question most of her story but there was one thing she wanted to put to the test.
"How would I cure someone who has been poisoned by the Morteaus flower?"
"That's not a herb, but I believe you could use an extract from the very same plant."
Morgana smiled at the candidate.
"What is your name?" Asked the Queen.
"Sefa."
"Well, Sefa. You may call yourself my new handmaiden from now on."
Several hours later, Morgana found Merlin on the battlements, staring at the garden.
"I've been thinking about adding some more useful plants." Morgana attempted to make polite conversation.
"Sounds good." He replied absent-mindedly.
"Merlin, is something the matter?" Asked Morgana.
"I spoke with Gaius."
There was a pause in which Morgana only looked at him. She wasn't smiling or angry or sad though she could tell there was going to be bad news. She just looked at him, listening and waiting for him to carry on.
Merlin continued his story, "We began bickering straight away. He couldn't wait to criticize my choices and didn't dare say a word about my mother. He doesn't even seem to regret his inaction."
Morgana considered offering punishment for Gaius but being aggressive with Merlin didn't usually work out all that well.
"Are you alright?"
He took a deep breath and answered, "No, I'm not."
It was clear to her what Merlin needed though he might not see it himself.
"You're not going back." She said.
Merlin gave her an odd look since he didn't know what she was thinking.
"I'll have one of the guest chambers prepared for you until we find you more suitable quarters."
It was late in the evening when Merlin heard someone knock on the door. The warlock used his magic to open it from the chair he was sitting on.
In the doorway stood Morgana with a decanter of red wine.
"Care for a nightcap?" She asked.
Merlin couldn't keep himself from smiling which Morgana took for an invitation.
"I thought you'd have planned a feast by now." Said Merlin.
"Arthur has drained the coffers. I told the staff to watch what they spend and I will do the same."
She noticed him looking at her with that odd look of his.
"I've seen that look before and I still don't know what it means." Said Morgana.
Merlin was confused for a moment, probably not even realising he was making a face, but he did know what caused it.
"It's pride. I'm proud of you because you rule not with fear, but with compassion. It makes you more than Arthur, it will make you Queen of their hearts."
Pride. It had been a long time since anyone had been proud of her. Morgause said it because she was using her, Uther once said it because it was expected of him and the pride Gaius showed was merely a mask as he whispered lies into Merlin's ear. Merlin was just a little bit different from them. He didn't simply say 'I'm proud of you' and stop there. He showed his admiration, he called her Queen of their hearts. The 'look' being pride was reflected by the past. He had looked at her like that when she hid Mordred and then again when he was recovering from escaping from Camelot with her.
"Do you like your temporary quarters?" Asked Morgana.
"Yes. I needed some space from Gaius. The more I think of him, the less I understand why I followed him so blindly."
"Maybe you've outgrown him."
"What do you mean by that?" He asked curiously.
"He still sees you as his ward and apprentice. He wants to protect you but you've grown in his absence. You're making your own decisions and it's caught him off guard. He isn't ready for it."
His mind was absent for a moment and Morgana knew something plagued his mind when he closed his eyes and shook his head.
"What's wrong?"
"Gaius claimed that it was too dangerous for me to share my magic with you." He wanted to say more but Morgana stopped him there.
"Merlin, you don't have to-" She wanted to make it clear that none of that mattered anymore, they had talked about it before, but that was not what Merlin meant.
"No, listen. It's important." He insisted. "Gaius always told me what to do. He told me not to get too close to you. When I look at things now, he couldn't be more wrong. You tell me what I could do, rather than what I should do, you even defend his behaviour. Sometimes it feels like you treat me more as an equal than he ever did."
His words left Morgana speechless. All she had done was listen to him and try not to agitate him. Their friendship grew and the latter became 'being considerate'. Before their adventure began, she planned to use him as a pawn. Now that they had won the battle, he became a frend rather than a pawn and she preferred it this way.
"I heard one of the servants mention you were leaving." She replied in a sad tone of voice.
"Arthur's still out there, somewhere."
"I'm sorry we didn't capture him." Morgana apologized and Merlin chuckled at his short-sighted demand.
"It pales in comparison to what we've achieved. I'm leaving at dawn to look for him."
Dawn?! Panic rose in Morgana's mind and she immediately replied. "You could... stay."
Merlin blinked in confusion.
"What brought this on?" He asked.
"You." She answered bashfully. "It's you that conquered Camelot and it's clear to me that you didn't even need my help."
"As you would have succeeded in my absence."
"You could have let me die at Arthur's hand and taken this Kingdom as your own."
"I've made too many mistakes to think of myself as a good King."
"You've made them up to me." Replied Morgana.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."
She was glad that he felt appreciated.
"Should you choose to stay, I'd like you to be my advisor. Officially, that is."
"Seen my past-"
"No. Stop this self-pity. You helped me win the heart of the people. You showed me the power of diplomacy. The mistakes we made were because of our secrets. If we are honest with each other, I don't see how it will go wrong."
"There's no arguing with you, is there?"
"So you accept?"
"Yes, I do."
AN:
Next up: romance
