"Morning Lizzie." Jill called as she entered reception.
"Morning doctor." Lizzie smiled. "Give me a minute, I just need to find your files."
Shaking her head and rolling her eyes and leaning against the reception desk, she glanced around; no sign of Gordon. In one way this was a good thing; she was terrified of how he'd act towards her, whether or not he'd calmed down from the night before. But in another way, it was a bad thing; she needed to speak to him, she needed to explain, she couldn't bear them arguing, couldn't bear the thought that she might have lost him for good.
She hadn't slept after he'd left. She couldn't block the harsh sound of her voice from her mind. Nor could she forget the cold, almost hateful look in his eyes as he'd flashed the letter at her. Nor could she forget the hurt written all over his face. She hated seeing him anything but happy. She had to explain, she had to sort it out, as soon as possible.
"Here they are!" Lizzie practically sang, drawing Jill from her thoughts.
"Thanks Lizzie." She took the files from her and started down the corridor, before turning on her heel and popping her head through the door to the staff area behind reception. "Lizzie, sorry, is Dr Ormerod in his office?"
"Yes but don't go in there!"
Se frowned, puzzled at Lizzie's almost fearful sounding command."Er why?" She asked.
"Well," she said, sidling up next to Jill and lowering her voice conspiringly. "He came in here in a right mood, snatched his files from me, growled at me, then stomped off to his office! He ordered me not to disturb him until morning surgery!"
Jill sighed, knowing it was that had put him into this state. "Don't worry Lizzie, I'll speak to him." She flashed a brief smile at the receptionist, before setting off towards his room, determined to set the record straight so no more of the staff would face the brunt of his anger. And more importantly, make him believe that she loved him and would never purposefully hurt him. Unless of course - the letters came to mind - it was to save his life.
In the short walk from reception to Gordon's office, she went over what she was going to say. She'd had all night to think about it; going over and over it, making sure she included everything she needed to say. She was going to get straight to the point, no dithering, just straight to the point, put everything right.
She paused outside his door, her hand poised to knock. It was going to be alright, she reassured herself. He was going to listen, and she was going to speak, and it would be alright. Gordon would see that it was just a misunderstanding.
This thought at the forefront of her mind, she rapped loud and confidently on the door. After receiving a grumpy 'come in', she entered, closing the door softly behind her and advanced towards him. She had only gotten as far as the coat stand, however, when he spoke.
"I don't want to hear it."
She paused, his blunt, cold tone catching her off guard. "What?"
"Whatever you're going to say Jill, I don't want to hear it." His face was equally as cold as his voice, his body language impassive.
"No Gordon-"
"Jill, I said I don't want to hear it." He rose from his seat as he said this, cutting her off, his voice also rising in volume. "I've got a patient in five minutes. I don't have time for this, for you!"
His last words stopped anything she might have had to say.
She turned and made a rapid exit from his office, then paced quickly to hers. She fumbled with the files, the keys, the door, cursing under her breath. When finally she unlocked it, she flung it open, then slammed it behind her.
She was angry. Primarily at herself for creating this situation in the first place, but also at Gordon, not even having the decency to let her speak. But, she realised, she'd hurt him, no doubt in his opinion, she had no right to speak to him.
So how was she going to explain? He'll calm down, she reasoned. She'd go speak to him at lunch, or perhaps leave it until the evening. She dismissed that as well; tomorrow morning, he'd have had chance to sleep on it again. He'll be calmer, he'd listen, he'd let her explain, everything would be okay.
That's what she hoped anyway.
