Important Author Note: Unless it is specified who says which part, the dialogue typically alternates between Tsuna and Hayato.
WARNINGS: OOC, Language (there is a lot of cursing), Violence, Indiscriminate Killing (Tomb Raider Typical Killing- applies to humans, animals, and mythical creatures), Dialogue Heavy, Set In The Tomb Raider Games 'Verses, So May Not Make A Whole Lot Of Sense If You Don't Know TR (unless you, like me, don't mind that), Collection of Snippets/Drabbles/Scenes Featuring Tsuna's And Hayato's Adventures In The TR Games, Beware Of Unexpected Mood Whiplashes, Ship Teasing, Slight BoyxBoy (why do I even warn about this anymore?), Platonic 5927 (To The EXTREEEEEEEME!), Snark, Badass Tsuna And Hayato, Badasses In Dresses, Perverted Swords, Cute Hammers, And As Always: Shameless Self-Indulgence/Ridiculousness.
Disclaimer: Don't own TR or KHR.
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Chronicles
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"Did you just put the stone in your garter?!" Hayato was in hysterics, "Why are you wearing a garter?!"
"How sure are you that it's a garter?"
"I don't want to think about the alternative."
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"You can shoot a crocodile just fine now, but when you see a dog you freak out and accidentally trip into a fountain. Juts… what the fuck?"
"Shut up, I was just surprised!"
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"Any more dogs will pop up from where we least expect them?"
"Tsuna, stop clinging to me like that, I need to use my hands."
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Hayato dodged the bullets Larson rained down on him; ahead of Hayato, Tsuna faced Larson and raised his gun. Hayato snorted, it was nice (not really) knowing Larson.
It took seconds and a number of scarily accurately-shot bullets from Tsuna for him to drive Larson away.
"Have I ever told you that you're vicious?"
"Yep."
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"There is a perfectly functioning revolver innocently and conveniently laying around waiting for us to pick it up and use it."
"Back at it again?"
"Yes!"
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"And a laser sight, too, wow. And even conveniently close to the gun it could be combined with. Wow!"
"Sawada Fucking Tsunayoshi!"
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As Hayato put the stone to the place it was missing from, Tsuna turned around and shot at the roofs on the other side.
"Let's go, Tsuna."
Tsuna fired off a last shot and turned to follow after Hayato.
"You. Are. Nasty. Damn, Tsuna."
Tsuna merely smiled.
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"'You want to try the back pockets' really, Tsuna?"
"He was asking for it. Hayato, we're wearing shorts, our legs are bare from the knee up to our shorts. There is no need to 'search' them."
"Jeez, calm down, I was surprised you didn't just shoot him."
"I was tempted. But kneeing him in the groin was more satisfying."
"Of course it was, you sadist."
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Tsuna and Hayato climbed out of the water and onto the ledge behind the curtain of falling water in what may have been a lake, a pool, or a really big fountain.
The two walked the corridor beyond and turned at the bend to come face to face with a giant, floating statue of a centurian head. The glowing, green stones embedded in the head in place of its eyes sparked with electricity as it appeared to prepare to prepare to shoot something out of its eyes.
Tsuna and Hayato simultaneously drew their guns and each shot an eye.
The two high-fived as the giant head collapsed onto the ground, its base breaking down.
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"Oh, great. The way back is barred now. What do you think is there forward?"
"There is a fucking shotgun on the ground; do I even want to know?"
"Whether you want to or not, you'll have to."
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"Oh, great. Another moving statue."
"And it shoots energy out of its sword! I want a sword like that!"
"Tsuna!"
"What?!"
"Now is not the time."
"When will it be then?"
"Just put 'a cool energy-channeling sword' in your wishlist. You may eventually get it in a year… or twenty."
"Hmph! I'll get a sword like that no matter what you say! And once I do, I'll wow you to the ends of the earth."
"Sure, sure."
"Hayatoooooo!"
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"I." Tsuna viciously grinned, "Am going to kill him."
"Hey! I want to kill him too! It's not fair that you always get to kill people!"
"And you call me vicious."
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"Oooooh! They shoot fire~!"
"Tsuna, I've said it a million times already! You can't keep all the fire-breathing creatures we come across!"
"Partypooper."
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"I can't believe you just ruthlessly killed them like that, Hayato."
Sigh.
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"Now, we finally get to go through the portal."
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"Did it have to drop from underneath us?"
"And we were so close, too."
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"Holy shit, is that magma?!"
"Thank god we're quick on our feet."
"You know, if after everything we've been through we weren't quick on our feet, I'd be worried."
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"Hey, did you hear that?"
"It sounded like a growl."
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"Oh my god, it's a lion! Can I keep it?"
"Tsuna!"
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"You actually fucking tamed it, how-?!"
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"You don't look scared of the skeletons on the walls."
"I have two loyal companions who will protect me!" Tsuna gestured to the two lions twining around him, "Right, you guys?"
The lions rubbed affectionately against Tsuna.
Hayato gaped.
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"It looks like you'll have to leave your newest companions down here. Unless they can climb walls."
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"Fuck they really can climb walls."
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"Are those gladiators?!"
The lions pounced on the gladiators.
Tsuna puffed up his chest in pride as he watched the lions take down the gladiators.
"…" Hayato stared, perplexed.
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"Hey, look! Another lion!"
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Tsuna stopped after the first door that opened and stared ahead, "My lions can't go on ahead."
Hayato stared blankly at Tsuna. Tsuna looked back at him, "Hayato! I can't leave my babies!"
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"Fuck you, Tsuna!" Screeched Hayato as the tile underneath him dropped and he fell down a slide.
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Tsuna turned to look at his three lions. His eyes welled with tears, "I'm so sorry, my babies. Mama can't bring you further with him. You'll have to stay here."
As Tsuna and his lions had a tearful goodbye, Hayato stared blankly ahead.
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A few minutes, and a near close call with a ruined floor and a long drop later, Tsuna stared mournfully at yet another lion.
"I'm sorry child, but I can't take you."
The lion stared woefully at Tsuna, Tsuna wiped a tear away, "The wound from my separation from my babies is still too fresh, it's too soon for me to take a new lion in."
Hayato wished he let himself try that long drop earlier.
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"Now, I want a cool, energy-channeling hammer too!"
"Tsuna…"
"A sword and a hammer. Heh. I'll name the sword Excalibur and the hammer Mjolnir."
"Tsuna…"
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"Such a vast change in scenery. From the Coliseum to a military base somewhere."
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"Dogs in the showers?"
"To each their own, I guess."
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"Economy class, huh?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha."
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"At least he was decent about it."
"Is that why you let him strip us of our weapons and hold us here?"
"Uhhhhh…"
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"So, who's going to take a dive?"
"Rock, paper, scissors?"
"No, pick something else."
"Why?"
"You cheat at rock, paper, scissors."
"Hey!"
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The hatch was closed and the pod released.
"He's a good man."
"Is that a crush I hear?"
"No." Tsuna looked sideways at Hayato who kept looking straight ahead. Tsuna poked him in the cheek. "What brought that on?"
Hayato looked at Tsuna, one eyebrow raised, "You want to have that conversation here and now?"
"Sure, why-"
A light flashed. After it was gone, the two were out of the pod, and in rocky area with tress. It was raining, and they were unarmed and sixteen again.
"-not?" Tsuna looked at his hands and huffed.
"Hello, new adventure."
"We're going to continue this talk later, don't think that you can avoid it."
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A bell rang. Tsuna flinched and clutched at Hayato's arm, "I don't like the feeling of this place at all."
As Hayato opened his mouth to respond, a corpse appeared in a flash of light, hanging by a noose from the tree in front of them, its chest cavity was open and empty.
"Oh god!" Tsuna folded himself against Hayato's back. Hayato straightened up, his figure hiding Tsuna behind him.
"Come, child. Come closer, for I have gifts for thee."
"I'll stay where I am."
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"My soul is gone, and how it fares, nobody knows and nobody cares."
With a choking laugh and another flash of light, the corpse disappeared.
Tsuna sagged against Hayato's back, "That was creepy as fuck. What did we get into this time?"
"Demons, maybe?"
Tsuna blanched, "What?!"
"Hush, you baby. You had no problem in facing a god, why are you freaking out over a possible demon?"
"There's a difference!"
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"Did you have to do that? Now, my ears are ringing."
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"This place is so fucking creepy, I don't even have words to describe it."
"How about you be quiet? You know, so that you don't attract attention to us."
"I swear I'll burn the next thing that comes at me, no matter what it is."
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"Ohmygod whatwasthat?! What was that sound?! Hayato, did you have to put in the heart?!"
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As the demons approached them, Hayato grasped the piece of iron he had on him. Meanwhile, Tsuna let out a shriek so loud it probably woke the dead and promptly burst into flames.
"Geez, Tsuna."
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"Are those skeletons or ghosts or what shouldIburnthemalljusttobesafe-?!"
"Tsuna…"
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"Oh my god was it holding a sword?! Was it swinging the sword?!"
"…"
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"What the heck is that spirit?! This is the second time!"
"Did you just go from scared to angry?"
"Yes!"
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"Hmm, I wonder what this book is."
Hayato snorted, "I didn't really expect you to crack the book open immediately. Figured you'd rather keep an eye out on your surroundings."
"I can do both."
"Suuuure."
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"It's those little freaks again."
"I'll burn them to death."
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"What the heck what the heckwhattheheck-!"
"Tsuna! Calm down!"
"BUT I CAN'T CALM DOWN!"
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"Who is this that stands before me? The first to visit me in my prison, seven hundred years past."
"Seven hundred years? All alone in a barn? Huh, those winter nights must have just flown by."
"Is he… is he snarking at the demon?"
"Yeah… damn, that's badass."
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"If you name a demon, you have power over it, and you named him! It's your shout, Lara."
"So…"
"Basically, I can tell him to fuck off?"
"Who even let you have power over a demon."
"Eheheheheheeee." Tsuna smirked.
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"So, we're playing the spy game? Avoiding lasers, crawling through air vents?"
"I like the bodysuit."
"Of course you do."
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"The Iris again?"
"I thought we put that behind us after the mess in Cambodia."
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"Did you just nail him with a headshot?"
Tsuna merely smirked.
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"You're vicious, Tsuna."
"Aww, Hayato, you're making me blush."
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"Aw, I have to put the gun here and go?"
"Yes."
"Whyyyyy?!"
"Metal detectors, duh."
"Awwwww." Tsuna pouted.
"Hey, at least you still have your flames."
"You're right!" Tsuna beamed.
Hayato sighed.
Ah, what a quick recovery.
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"At least I get to say that I survived an elevator dropping down to ground floor when we have to make small conversations at dinner."
"HAYATO! That is not appropriate dinner conversation. Or any conversation, for that matter."
"What? And saying that you used a grenade gun to blow a person up is better?"
"At least I wasn't planning to mention it at dinner."
"Spoilsport."
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"Got my gun back~"
"Why do you sound so happy?"
"'Cause I got mah baby back~"
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"Ah, Hayato! We-!"
"Are going to be jumping to the next adventure?"
The two burst out of the stairwell and into the roof, dodging the bullets aimed at them.
"Yeah!"
The two ran towards their hang gliders, they leaped at them, grabbed the handles, and tipped off the rooftop's edge to glide in the air- except that they fell into an expanse of white light.
The two cursed as the gliders vanished. They plummeted and-
They slammed into the ground.
Their vision swam in and out. There were words being spoken, but neither of them was aware enough to comprehend what was being said.
A few minutes later, Tsuna groaned and sat up, closely followed by Hayato. Tsuna looked around them at the unfamiliar apartment they were in before his eyes landed on a figure laying on the ground.
Tsuna and Hayato stood up, and cautiously walked over. Tsuna kneeled down next to the figure and turned them around.
"It's Werner." Hayato raised an eyebrow.
"And he's dead." Tsuna furrowed his eyebrows as he stood up.
"Tsuna, your hands."
Tsuna looked at his bloodied hands, "Yeah, I get it. I'll wash them."
"But who killed him?"
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End chapter 2
