She still couldn't believe that she'd lost him, couldn't believe that everything she'd taken for granted over the years she had known him, even since before they had become more than friends, was now over. She couldn't leisurely talk to him over a cup of tea between patients, couldn't sit with him in the gardens at lunch, she couldn't even pop into his office just to say 'hello'. She kept wandering towards his office, on the intent to do those things, but she had to check herself, reroute, remind herself that she was no longer permissible to do so.

All those times they'd spent together; the stolen kisses at work, the nights spent in each others arms, the hours and hours just talking, completely comfortable to talk about everything, well, almost everything. And all of it came down to what? Well, nothing!

Why wouldn't he just listen to her? If he just let her explain that she'd never even applied for the job, maybe they could forgive each other, put it all down to a silly misunderstanding and get back to their life together. She almost laughed; life together! She'd stupidly allowed herself to imagine them growing old together, their love growing stronger by the day. How deluded had she been?! They hadn't even been together for a year. She should have known. No man would never want to be with her for long. They would discover all her flaws and leave her, especially someone as great as Gordon. It had happened many times before. But she'd been able to get over those relationships relatively quickly; she'd not really loved any of them. But with Gordon it was different, she couldn't imagine ever getting over him. She loved him, and he loved her. Did he? She began to wonder whether the job offer had been a means of escape for him. Maybe her tormentor had been right when he'd said she'd seduced him. Maybe he hadn't known how to end the relationship and the letter provided the opportunity.

As the more time passed that they'd been apart, the more his loving eyes faded in her memory to be replaced by the cold, uncaring eyes he now looked at her with. Perhaps she'd imagined the love in his eyes all along.

She knew it would do no good dwelling on 'what ifs', 'perhaps' and 'maybes', but she couldn't help it.

She also knew that she wouldn't get any sleep tonight, especially not being at work at two in the morning, under the pretence of catching up on paperwork.

There was only one thing for it. One way she could resolve the situation. And she was going to do it.


Her hand hovered over the telephone, she lowered it towards the receiver, but quickly pulled away. She'd have plenty of time later, she reasoned. Though deep down she knew she was putting it off. For what, she didn't know. Perhaps she still had a thread of hope, that maybe, she'd be able to work things out with Gordon.

She shook her head, sighing and gathered up her files. It was lunch time. She'd go to the sea front, let the sea air clear her head, and have a proper think.

She left her room, made her way into the back of reception to see Lizzie filing her nails. She smiled at her as she placed the folders in the filing cabinet.

She was almost finished when Gordon walked in. She gazed up at him as he walked past her.

"Hi Lizzie!" he called. But said nothing to Jill, hurting her, perhaps more than any words could.

Forcing back the tears, she rushed out of reception and into her office. Snatching up the receiver, she began dialling the number she'd memorised through her agonising. She explained the reason of her call, then made arrangements with the person on the end of the line.

"Thank you. Goodbye." She placed the handset in its cradle, and sat back in her chair.

Next Tuesday.

Now all she needed was to arrange to have the day off.

Hopefully this would make the situation better.

Next Tuesday.