Chapter 16: An Inn Near Shiz, Several Weeks Later
The spring holidays involved being locked in a room at the inn yet again for days on end. Elphaba found she didn't dread it quite as much as she had last time she'd spent an extended time there. She and Fiyero would have sufficient time to talk and study along with the constant intimacy that was expected of them. A flush rose to her cheeks at just the thought.
"You're thinking about someone, aren't you?" Glinda teased.
"If I tell you I'm not, are you going to grab me and use your power to prove me wrong?" Elphaba asked. Hiding things from Glinda was pointless, and it was also tedious. Besides, she didn't think she wanted to hide as much, anyway. As much as she hated to admit it, it was nice to have someone to talk to.
"Probably."
"Then fine, maybe I am."
"Might that someone be a certain young prince named Fiyero?"
"He might be."
There was a soft tap on the adjoining door and Nanny walked in, looking flustered. "Glinda, you're all packed to go to Frottica?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"And Nessarose and I will be here in town beneath the rectory, anyway, in the private rooms. Meanwhile, Elphaba will be…nearby as well." The old woman coughed as she surveyed their room.
Elphaba considered telling Nanny that she didn't have to be so vague - that Glinda knew exactly what she would be doing. But that could get back to her father, and he'd be cross if he found out they'd been "indiscreet," despite the fact that Glinda knowing had nothing to do with Elphaba's actions. "Yes, of course. I'll be working for Father."
Glinda raised her eyebrows. "Dear Elphie, I do hope you spend some of your holiday relaxing and enjoying yourself." She smirked.
It was all she could do not to laugh at that. "I'll do my best, Glinda."
Nanny grumbled something about forgetting socks and ambled back into the other room.
"Though I suppose he might have to help you enjoy yourself?"
"Glinda, stop." But she was grinning. "There are worse things I could be doing with my time, that's for certain."
"And with worse people. It does seem that you're quite smitten with this one."
"I am not! I've merely adapted to the situation."
The light knock came again and Nanny called through the door, "Fabala, your father is here to escort you."
Elphaba stood up and grabbed her small bag. "I'll see you soon, Glinda. Please don't spend your entire holiday dreaming up the scandalous things you think I'm doing."
Fiyero was, as usual, already there when she and her father arrived. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply as the door closed behind them. "It's good to see you, Fae."
He'd been calling her that since Dr. Dillamond's death. "What's with the nickname?"
Fiyero ran a hand through her hair, undoing her braid. "Do you hate it?"
"No. It's… nice. It's simple and easy. I just… I don't know where it came from, Fiyero." She looked up into his face and found he was smiling at her.
"I don't really know, either. It just sounded nice."
"It does," she admitted. For a moment, she stood with him like that, his arms around her in a sweet, tender embrace. It felt calm, like a wash of tranquility. As she closed her eyes, she realized that even the way he smelled was familiar to her, was comforting. It was odd to find that anyone had that effect on her, but he did.
He kissed her again, this time slowly. "Would it be wrong if I said I'd been looking forward to this?" His lips wandered her cheeks, her ears and forehead.
"Oh, it might be. But everyone has to do something wrong on occasion, do they not?" She batted her eyelashes at him and took one of his hands, tugging him coaxingly towards the bed. All she wanted in that moment was to be lost in his touch, overwhelmed with the buzz of their lovemaking.
He followed eagerly, laying kisses along her neck and unfastening the back of her dress. It fell to the floor and she stepped out of it easily just before falling back on the bed. "If this is wrong, then I never want to be right again," he whispered.
She helped him out of his shirt and he tossed it to the floor. They fell back against the bed, kissing, their hands running over hot flesh with skilled fingers. She knew each part of him now by touch, and reveled in it. Each time he touched her, it felt like he was savoring her. It made her feel wanted in a way she hadn't known was possible. Elphaba sat up slightly so her undergarments could be removed by his quick movements. Then she removed his trousers and shorts.
"I want you," he murmured, his hands trailing down the slow curve of her belly. "I can't help myself." His fingers traced over her flesh, dipping between her legs.
"Mmm," she purred. "It must be infectious, then, because I'm starting to feel the same." She pressed a kiss against his collar, then his chest. The salty taste of his skin danced on her lips and tongue. Her eyes fluttered shut as his hands continued moving, working her skin into a frenzy of sensation. In only moments, she was grabbing for him, letting her head fall back against the pillow and gasping.
His lips traced her breasts, coming over the swell of one and moving towards the peak until he took it gently in his mouth, teased it with his lips, the tips of his teeth. Then he moved to the other one. "You're irresistible," he told her between kisses.
She pulled him closer, pressing his body against hers. "Please, Fiyero."
Cupping her cheek with his hand and looking into her eyes, he pressed himself into her. They each took a deep breath as he did, the feeling of their union soothing them. As he began to move within her, he murmured, "I never realized how much I would enjoy this."
"I know," she whimpered. "Oh, I know." Her body moved against his as he thrust into her. She wound her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. Her arched back trembled as they went on, allowing him access to plunge into her, adding friction and heat. Elphaba grabbed his shoulder tightly, her knuckles white. The intensity was too much to bear, and she moaned.
He was moving frantically now, and her stomach quivered as the pleasure rose within her. He ground his hips towards her, filling her in ways she hadn't imagined. She clutched tighter at him, letting a cry of ecstasy fall from her lips as she convulsed, shuddering around him. Fiyero pressed his mouth against hers again, tracing her lips with his tongue as her release ravaged her and tore through her body with an impossible and savage force. His body moved into hers a few more times and he groaned, "Fae…"
She clung to him as he finished, their breathing falling back to normal as they looked at each other, satisfied smiles on each of their faces. "Sweet Oz," she muttered, finally tearing her gaze from him. It felt so intimate to look at him in those moments, to let him see her and to be allowed to see him. Elphaba reached up and brushed his hair away from his forehead gently, her fingers tracing his jaw. "That was nice."
He drew back, laughing a little. "That's one word for it." Fiyero fell back against the bed beside her. "We certainly have a lot of physical chemistry, almost an explosive amount. No prophecy could know that." He turned his head and kissed her cheek. "You're amazing."
She cringed at the compliment. "Don't say that."
"I mean it. When I agreed to this, I never thought it would be like this with us."
"Agreed to this?" She sat up a little. "I thought you had to."
He paused for a moment. "Not exactly."
"Fiyero, I had no choice. You had one?" Sure, she'd adjusted to the idea of the two of them now, and she didn't mind giving up her time as much as she had previously, but she still wasn't certain she'd have chosen this on her own.
"I was encouraged to choose this, but my parents did give me an option."
"You never told me."
"You never asked."
Elphaba climbed out of the bed, suddenly wanting to be away from him. She stood, folding her arms across her chest. The bliss that had filled their prior interaction had shattered, and anger began to swell within her. "I told you the first night that it wasn't what I had wanted."
"You also threw your clothes off and tried not to talk to me at all!" He sat up.
"I was doing what I was told! Apparently, you weren't."
"My parents felt the risk was too great to make the decision on their own. They wanted me to make the choice. But like I said, they made it clear what they wanted."
"Would they have thrown you out of the house if you hadn't? Punished you severely?"
"No. Are you telling me that your father would have?"
He had made implications in that direction, but she hadn't wanted to test him. Of course, she had known he wouldn't allow her to attend Shiz if she had refused, at least. That had been enough to keep her from fighting him too much. "I don't know. But I know he didn't think I had a say in the matter, Fiyero. You do realize that the decision you made didn't just affect you and your parents, it affected me."
"I didn't realize that at the time I made it. I hadn't met you. I assumed your parents had let you make the same decision."
"But when you met me, the night of our wedding, you could've walked out. Your parents would have forgiven you. Right?"
"Right." He stood, but didn't move towards her.
"So why didn't you? I was pretty honest about why I was there."
"You also seemed resigned. You weren't happy about it, but you seem to have accepted it. Of course, I didn't know then that you were taking measures to make certain you didn't wind up pregnant." He shot her an angry look.
"You're mad at me for hiding something from you, now? That's rich, Fiyero! You could've stopped this! I could've had my own life. You could've lived your own life."
"And what then? I marry some girl from the tribe and sit in my little castle for the rest of my life while you go on to get yourself killed fighting Madame Morrible and the Wizard single-handedly? All of that without ever knowing each other? I don't regret being with you, Elphaba. And I don't regret my decision. Nothing you say is going to change that. I'm sorry you regret it, I am. Maybe at the beginning, I was uncertain of this, of us, but I care for you. The longer this has gone on, the more sure I've become that I made the right choice for me."
"You couldn't have known that then. You married me, deflowered me and let me think neither of us had a choice." She realized her voice was raised, and that her father was probably listening to the entire conversation. Her voice lowered, she continued. "You made me want…"
"That's what it is it, isn't it?" He demanded. "You're not angry about what I did. You're angry that you agree. You're angry that you believe in this, too."
"No! I… I see merit in the premonitions."
"Do you regret this, Elphaba? Do you regret us?"
"I can't possibly answer that. I was never actually given a choice, unlike you!" She heard herself shouting again, but she had stopped caring. "What did you do it for? The sex?"
"I did it out of duty and honor to my parents. I saw how firmly they believed in this. I knew they would never willingly let me be in danger unless there was a very good reason. What would you have done, Elphaba, had your father given you the option? If you knew what he wanted to hear, and knew it would break his heart to refuse?"
"I would remind him that my life is my own. I would make one decision, for once, that was mine." Elphaba snapped. "I'm so sick of this! When was the last time I did something that wasn't because of fate? When was the last time I've had control over anything that's happened to me? You had that control, Fiyero, and you gave it up!" Hot tears welled in her eyes and she turned away. "I refuse to believe that some fate decides what my life will be."
His arms came around her, but she tugged away. "Elphaba, please."
"You couldn't possibly understand. This doesn't affect you the way it affects me."
"When I saw you in that church the night we met, Elphaba, I was mesmerized. And every moment since has only added to it. Yes, I could've walked away. I didn't want to."
"Even knowing that I wanted to? That I was going to be burdened with carrying your child?"
"I'm sorry being with me is such a burden, Elphaba." His voice twisted into sarcasm. "Silly me, I thought you enjoyed our time together."
"I will not sit here and let you turn this back on me, Fiyero!" She spat. "I am not the problem here."
"I beg to differ."
She closed her eyes, her teeth clenched. Elphaba knew there was no walking out of that room. And she knew she had no desire to continue talking to him about this or anything else substantial. There was only one thing they could do. "Fine, then. Punish me. Show me how angry you are."
He was slightly taken aback by that. "Elphaba?"
"We're not going to fix this. I don't care if we do. The only part of you I enjoy is your body, anyway," she spat, knowing even now that she didn't mean it. But it would upset him. "So let's get back to it, huh? If we can't stand each other when we talk, then we don't need to talk. I barely like you most of the time, and when I do, it's only because we're in bed together. We're supposed to be doing something in here, are we not? Go ahead, then, fuck me."
For a moment, she thought he'd refuse, try to talk it out. But an instant later, he'd thrown her to the bed. In an effort to both upset her father and distract herself, she told him loudly, "Give it to me hard, Fiyero. I want it rough."
"Good," he growled. "That's the only way it's happening, anyway." Her insults had worked - he was clearly mad at her.
Before she closed her eyes, she saw his. There was rage and lust, anger and desire. Within him, they turned out to be an intense combination. But she gave as good as she got, and she liked it. By the time the holidays were over, both of their bodies were covered in bite marks and bruises. She ached and felt raw and torn. Never once had she protested. In fact, she'd encouraged it, crying out for more and begging him for things she'd never even considered before. The way her father looked at her when she left the room told her he'd heard most of it, too.
It didn't matter, though. She and Fiyero left the inn just as angry as they had been. Elphaba almost laughed at herself for feeling as sentimental about him as she had. It had been a mistake, a trick of the mind. She didn't care about him. She wasn't capable. Besides, she knew better. Caring about him could be a fatal mistake, and she didn't plan on making it.
