Princess Katherine of Aragon (Boleyn)- 47 December 16th 1485

Prince Thomas Boleyn, Duke of Wiltshire-55 March 12th 1477

Isabella Boleyn- 14 September 7th 1517

Thomas Boleyn, Duke of Pembroke- 14 September 7th 1517

Cordelia Tudor-12 year May 2nd 1518

William Boleyn, Duke of Buckingham- 12 year June 13th 1519

Anthony Boleyn, Duke of Suffolk- 12 year June 13th 1519

Rose Boleyn- 12 year March 2 1520

Catalina Boleyn- 10 year August 29th 1520

George Boleyn, Duke of Rochford- 19 April 17th 1513

Jane Boleyn- 2 March 28th 1530

Princess Mary Tudor-16 February 18th 1516

Princess Cecily Tudor- 9 years July 25th 1521

Princess Elizabeth Tudor- 14 September 7th 1517

Princess Margaret Tudor- 7 years August 14th 1523

Prince Edward Tudor of Wales- 13 years February 14th 1519

Prince James Tudor of York- 9 years October 1st 1522

King Henry VIII- 39 June 28th 1491

Queen Kathryn Parr- 38 August 30th 1492

Lady Ursula Middleton- 37 February 2 1495

Lady Amy Hobbs- 12 November 15th 1518

Lady Amelia Sutton, 9, May 18th 1523

Lady Mary Howard, 12, April 24th 1519

Gregory Cromwell Earl of Oxford- 16 October 19th 1514

Prince Henry of France- 18 July 10th 1513

Prince Phillip of Spain- 19 May 2 1512

Princess Joan of Austria- 12 June 24 1519

Charles de Bourn, Duke of Beaucourt- 11 July 21 1520

William Cavendish, Duke of Devonshire- 17 January 9th 1514

Henry Stanley, soon-to-be Earl of Derby- 15 September 1st 1516


February 28th 1532

Cordelia Tudor

We are at Blinking now, mama stayed in her rooms all day she was very sad all the time now especially after that fight with papa. "Bella, cannot stay in there forever, she is scaring Rose and Catalina" I whispered urgently to her.

"I know, I know, I promise to talk to her" she said and left, I turned to my little sisters.

"Do you want to play a game?" I asked hoping it would cheer them up.

"I want to see mama right now Cordelia Tudor!" Catalina snapped with her hands on her hips, Bella thought best they not see her distraught like this.

"Mama is really upset right now, Bella is talking to her and everything shall be fine soon enough" I promised but Catalina did not listen.

"It is cause of me they fought!" She burst into tears and Rose quickly followed her to the bedchamber. I did not know what to do and finally decided to follow Bella into mama's room, maybe I could help.

"Mama" I whispered sitting next to Bella on her back.

"Go play with your sisters, both of you" she whispered and frustrated tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Why are you being so selfish?" I snapped and she turned her head to look at me in shock.

"I am not-" I quickly cut her off, I knew what she was going to say and did not want to hear it.

"Yes you are! Catalina and Rose are constantly in tears because they think you and papa are going to get a divorce and Catalina keeps blaming herself! And instead of helping your daughters you hid in your chambers like a coward and wallow in your own self pity!" I screamed and left, I did not want be there any longer.

I went to my own rooms and slammed the door shut dismissing the maids, I wanted to be alone.

William Boleyn, Duke of Buckingham

Tom was in the library all day and papa was in his office, "we have to do something Tony, Bella sent a note saying all mama does is cry in her rooms" I insisted, but he only shook his head.

"Papa does not want to be disturbed, he told us that!" I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"You are such a coward" I spat and left him behind as I ran down the hall to papa's office, he needed to go to Dover and say sorry to mama. "Papa!" I called barging into his office, he did not even flinch.

"William, I am working right now" he sighed never once looking up at me.

"As the Duke of Buckingham I demand you listen to me!" We never used titles in our house, but now I was using mine to my advantage. "You have to say you are sorry to mama" he rubbed his head as if getting a headache.

"William, your mother left on her own accord" why was he not admitting it was his fault? After all he was the one who pushed her, if he had not then she would never have left in the first place.

"Only because of you! You pushed her so she fell and you were also very mean to her when she did nothing to you!" His head snapped up to look at me.

"William, I am sorry that happened in front of you children but your mother should have listened when I told her to sit down" I could not believe he was justifying himself.

"She just wanted to go make sure Catty was okay, and you threw her to the floor and left, Bella says she staying in bed all day crying and you know what? It is all your fault!" I felt leaving him alone in the room, Anthony was waiting for me outside.

"I think that went well" he said sarcastically and I shoved him.

"You too missed lessons" Tom said in a stern voice.

"And you left mama when she needed us the most because you were selfish and scared, pull your nose out of the book and welcome to reality!" I snapped and walked away. He was acting so stuck up now, Anthony followed looking at me in amazement, "what?" I asked and he burst out laughing.

"You are yelling at everyone today" I shoved him again and he pushed me back, "do you think he will go to Blinking now?" He then asked.

"I do not know, I hope he does though" I said in a softer tone.

Katherine Boleyn, Princess of Spain, Duchess of Wiltshire

March 2nd 1530

I made an effort to spend more time with my daughters since Cordelia yelled at me, I did not mean to hurt anyone I guess I just got caught up in my own pain that I forgot about everyone else.

"Happy birthday Rose" is said kissing her head, I still missed Mary so very much, but the once excruciating pain was now an ache.

"Thank you mama, I love you" I smiled and pet her blonde hair as she looked at the pretty jewels George had sent her, he was at Court and Jane was staying with us.

"Wose!" She giggled playing with a little trinket that was given to Rose, Lady Martin, her Governance watched her closely.

"Lady Wiltshire" a maid called and I looked up to see Thomas step into the room, I stood up as William and Anthony ran in an hugged around my waist tightly both speaking at the same time.

"Mama" Tom said kissing my cheek politely, Thomas cleared his throat and I looked up to see Rose hugging around his waist happy he had made it for her birthday. I dismissed myself quickly going back to my bedchamber, but I knew he would follow me.

"Katherine" he whispered catching my arm in the hallway and pulling me into his chest effortlessly, "I am sorry sweetheart, please listen" I shook my head trying to pull away. "Katherine please, just for a moment listen" he caressed my face and I looked up at him relaxing just a little, I would listen, only for a moment, "I know it was wrong for me to push you like that, especially in front of the children and I am so very sorry for it, it is just….I was hurt too by Mary's leaving and you know I do not do well with…feelings" he said holding me close.

"You cannot do that again Thomas, Catalina cried for 3 days because she through it was all her fault" he tried to kiss me but I turned my face away, I was still angry at him.

"Let us go back and celebrate Rose's birthday then" I nodded and he wrapped an arm around my waist leading me back into the small room, the children seemed tense as we sat down, but relaxed when Thomas took my hand into his.

I watched them all play and open gifts and my mind drifted off to Mary, she would be arriving in France at the beginning in April and I so longed to get a letter from her to know if she is alright, I missed my daughter so much.

Mary Tudor, Princess of England

Lady Amy Hobbs soon became my only true friend on this ship and I decided she would stay with me after I married Prince Henry, "are you nervous? I mean the Prince is already 18 and you are only 16" she said late one night as we stayed up.

"I am a little nervous, but I try not to think about it" I grew silent and looked out the window.

"What is it? You have been quiet all day" she asked softly and I looked back at her.

"Today was my sister Rose's birthday, I miss her is all, she is 12 now" her eyes softened and she took my hand squeezing it just a little.

"I am sorry, but I am sure she misses you just as much" I smiled lightly and lay back against my bed looking up at the dull brown ceiling.

"Do you think I will see them again?" I asked softly looking over to her.

"Yes, one day, the French and English have been getting along and is not your sister Lady Catalina marrying a Frenchman?" I let out a small fake laugh.

"My sister does not wish to marry a Frenchman, she wishes to stay in England and I do not blame her, she and my mama will find a away out of her marriage" I closed my eyes for a moment trying to think of my little sister and what she would be like when she was 16, she would be pretty and probably look like Mary, Catalina was…well she was not as smart as everyone else but she did beautiful embroidery.

"Your mind is drifting again" Amy said and I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I wish I could be with them right now" I sighed tears swelling in my eyes as I thought of them all, even Queen Kathryn.

Henry Tudor, King of England

Court seemed quieter and more confined since Mary's departure and from what I hear as caused quiet and impact on Katherine's family. "Papa, is Mary ever coming back?" Margaret asked me as I walked her down to her chamber for bedtime.

"No, she is going to live in France now" she looked down to the floor and lifted her up with all the strength I had, "do not be sad, she will be Queen and I am sure she will miss you too, but she did promise to write did she not?" She nodded and I placed her back down.

"Writing is not the same as seeing her papa" my lips took the form of a grim smile.

"I know that sweetheart, but sometimes it is the best someone can do" I handed her off to the governance once she was in her chambers and wished her and Elizabeth and Cecily goodnight.

"Husband, are you well?" Kathryn asked lowly, I did not even glance at her, we were having a private supper tonight.

"Just thinking of Mary is all, Katherine told me she and the Spanish Ambassador had a talk that made her nervous, I swear if they even touch her ship I kill the Emperor!" She jumped at my sudden outburst.

"I am sure nothing shall come of it, the Emperor would not be so stupid as to harm a English Princess destined to be Queen of France, he will have two countries at war with him, is not Elizabeth and Edward betrothed to his children?" She inquired softly.

"I shall send a letter to Lord Wiltshire at once, if the Spanish cannot control their tongue about Mary marrying the French or they hurt her I swear any betrothal I have is off and England is at war" her eyes went wide at what her words caused, but surely the Emperor was not that stupid.

March 3rd 1532

Mary Tudor, Princess of England

"Your Highness, tis a lovely day is it not?" Lady Amy asked as we strolled the deck after breakfast.

"It is, but surely there could be a better view then water?" I asked and she looked out into the blue horizon.

"In April I am sure it shall change" she assured me.

"Princess, go back to your rooms at once!" The captain snapped and I looked at him in shock, no but save my mother and siblings has ever used that tone with me, "another ship is attacking we must protect you!" Fear filled my heart as Amy took my hand and dragged me back to my rooms and locked the door as the guards came.

"I want to go home" I whimpered feeling like a ship, it took 5 minutes but the boat shook with a loud BANG, I screamed as did Amy and I clutched onto her as the boat swayed dramatically.

I am only 16 I cannot die like this, please God please! I prayed silently as I heard yelling and cries from outside my door "it is alright Princess" Amy whispered but she was more frightened then I, after all she was only 12 and as wise as she might be for her age she is still a child.

"It-it will be, never fear Amy I will not let them hurt you" I promised as she cried holding onto me, she reminded me so much of my sister and I swore no harm would come to her.

The door was cracked open and she screamed into my neck, I bit the inside of my cheek hiding my scream as I looked of to see the captain of Spanish decent "Princesa María, perdona mi contundencia, pero vienes con nosotros" he said with a sickening smile.

Princess Mary, excuse my forcefulness, but you are coming with us

"My mother is Princess of Spain and my father the King of England, when they hear of this they will kill you" I hissed, he grabbed my hair and forced me out, another crewman took Amy and followed us as we were brought onboard another ship.

"Your Highness, what is going on?" She asked as we were thrown into a tiny dirty cell.

"I do not know, but I shall find out" I went up to the bars and clutched them.

"What is this about! I am to be married to the heir of France! He will not like to hear his bride has been kidnapped by the Spanish" I called out angrily.

"Actually plans have changed, someone is expecting your visit" I backed away and clutched my brown gown my bottom lip trembling.

"May I write a letter?" It was an odd question, but I had to ask.

"A what?" He answered dumbfounded.

"My mother is expecting me to write her, may I please send her a letter, I am still a Princess" he growled something walking away but he soon returned with parchment and ink and I wrote knowing none of these men could read.

March 28th 1532

Katherine Boleyn, Princess of Spain, Duchess of Wiltshire

We were at Court now, it was business related and the children went to Hatfield and Dover with the Royal children as always. Today was Jane's birthday though and we celebrated it the best we could without her aunts and uncles, Thomas had turned 55 on the twelfth and now little Jane was 2!

"Lady Wiltshire, I have a letter from the Princess Mary" my excitement perked and I stood up with Jane in my arms and quickly took the letter.

"Look Jane, a letter from Aunt Mary" she giggled recognizing the name Thomas and George were sitting down talking about something, they would let me read first then ask what she wrote after.

Mama,

Tell Rose, papa and Jane I said happy birthday and that I was thinking of them, I met a girl Lady Amy Hobbs she is very sweet and only 12 and reminds me much of my sisters. I fear that this letter is not for pleasantries I have serious news, mama I do not want you to worry for as of right now I am fine.

Earlier today our ship has been attacked and I am now a prisoner of Spain's, none of them can read, but I do not think they care if you know. They are keeping me in a cell in the bottom of the boat, but I am scared mama, he say they shall bring me to Spain. I am being strong though and I will not cry in front of them, I shall take care of Amy too, please let her parents know that she is alright and I shall let nothing happen to her.

I know you must be in great distress now and I want you to know that I love you more then anything else in the world, can you please tell papa that no matter what he ever did I always loved him so much as well? I fear they are getting testy now mama and I must conclude this letter, tell me siblings I love them

Mary

I felt as if I could not breath, I placed Jane down as calmly as I could, that bastard, that lying treacherous bastard looked me in the face and said the Emperor would do nothing. "Katherine, what is it?" Thomas asked as I clutched the letter in my hands tears pouring down my cheeks, I left the room walking at a brisk pace into Court.

There I saw him talking with a courtier a smile on his face, my anger grew "Lady Wiltshire" he said pleasantly a small smirk on his face, my hand flew out nails digging into the side of his face and ripping down so that streaks of blood appeared on his face.

"KATHERINE!" Thomas yelled grabbing around my waist and lifting me up and pulling me back as the Court gasped and screamed at my actions, Ambassador Chapuys had fallen in pain to the ground holding his bleeding face.

"What have you done!" Henry snapped grabbing my arm painfully tarring me away from Thomas.

"They took her…the Spanish are holding Mary prisoner, look!" I thrust the letter into his chest as Thomas pulled my sobbing form back.

"Man every ship and gather as many men as you can, England is at war with Spain, they have captured my daughter and are holding her prisoner!" He snarled and glared down at Chapuys. "Bring him to the Tower until further notice" Thomas pet my face whispering things to me as he brought me back to our chambers, I felt sick and my stomach heaved all I had eaten up.

He held my hair back and rubbed my shoulders as I threw up "Mary is strong Katherine, she will be alright" he promised as I fell back against him.

"How could he….how could he take my baby?" I sobbed speaking of my nephew.

"He will pay for this, I swear it to you Katherine, I want you to stay her with Jane, George and I are going to speak with the King" I nodded as Jane crawled into my lap.

"Nana sad?" She asked laying her head on my chest, I hugged her tiny body close looking to a maid.

"Have the children brought here, all of them, do not let them hear anything of this and keep them in the nursery" she nodded and quickly set off to bring them the message.

"Nana" Jane asked tugging on my bodice, she was so sweet and innocent and had no clue what was going on, all she knew it today was her birthday.

"Let us go see if you have anymore gifts" she smiled and giggled as I set her down and she played with the pretty necklaces and new dresses.

April, 2nd 1532

Isabella Boleyn

Elizabeth and I have been clashing, each of us has taken the role of oldest sister and neither wanted to give it up. What angered her more was they even Cecily and Margaret treated me like the older sister, she was constantly trying to show me up.

We were summoned to Court and no one would tell us why, Catalina had fallen asleep and was leaning against me Rose reading a book as was Tom, William and Anthony were bickering back and forth. Papa had found them wives, daughters of an Earl Lady Amelia Sutton was to be married to William and Lady Mary Howard for Anthony.

They were fighting over which girl was more beautiful, I was more worried with why we had been summoned to Court like this, when we arrived we were all brought straight to mamas room and I started to fear that something had happened to mama or papa.

"Mama, what is wrong?" I asked nervously as Catalina, Rose, Cecily and Margaret ran to her, Queen Kathryn came in and Margaret and James ran to her next happy to see their mother.

"Something has happened to Mary's ship, the Spanish have captured her and she is being held prisoner" the room was quiet for a moment before the news set in.

"Mary…Mary was taken?" I whispered in disbelief.

"Well, yes she had, but I do not want any of you to worry, I am sure this is a misunderstanding and the French Ambassador assured me that the King of France will help get her back." Mama said quickly trying to hide the fear in her voice, Catalina and Rose burst into tears and she hugged them close along with William and Anthony, I stood still my hands trembling as Tom quickly walked out of the room mumbling something about the library. Mama looked up to watch him leave, Queen Kathryn took the Royal children to the nursery to give us some privacy, "I need to speak with your brother" she whispered standing up and following him.

"Is Mary going to die?" Catalina asked in tears, I quickly looked to her.

"No, she is not going to die, Mary is strong we all know that" she nodded and hugged Kitty to her chest.

"If I could, I would kill the Emperor for hurting Mary" Anthony snarled in hate.

"Anthony Boleyn!" Papa snapped and we all jumped almost a mile into the sky, "you never, ever, say things like that" he scolded and Anthony nodded quickly. Papa looked tired, "where is your mother?" He asked me glancing around the room.

"After she told us what happened Tom when to the library, she went to go talk with me" he nodded a troubled look on his face, "what is going to happen?" I begged nervously.

"I do not know yet Isabella, please watch your siblings" I knew he was lying but nodded my head knowing he would tell me nothing.

Thomas Boleyn, Duke of Pembroke

The Emperor had taken Mary as a prisoner, I did not know what to think about it, I forced my eyes to read the page in front of me trying to forget everything "Tom?" I heard mama ask, her voice was soft and nervous.

"Yes mama?" I asked not looking up from my book.

"You left so abruptly back there, are you alright?" She took a seat next to me and I quickly glanced up, but seeing her tear stained face only made it real and I quickly looked back down.

"I really wanted to finish this book, I am sorry for leaving like that" she gently pulled the book away and I did not put up a fight about it.

"I just told you your sister has been kidnapped and all you care about is reading a book? Tom you cannot lie to me" her voice was not mad or excusing, but soft and gentle.

"What if something happens to her? What if they hurt her mama?" I asked forcing tears back, I was a boy and boys did not cry.

"Mary is so strong and no matter what I believe she will be fine, she needs our love now more then ever" I nodded and turned to mama hugging her tightly.

"I am scared" I admitted squeezing my eyes shut.

"I am too, but we have to be strong right now for your sisters and brothers, do not hide away from them" I nodded solemnly placing my book down on the small table.

"I am sorry mama, it is just….I do not think of it much when I am reading and studying" she nodded and kissed my forehead and I stood up.

"Let us go back to your sisters and brothers" I nodded and we walked together back to the room quietly, when we got back papa was dressed as if he was leaving and his things were getting packed. Mama looked absolutely panicked and fearful as she quickly went to him "where do you think you are going Thomas Boleyn?" She hissed, but we all knew it was only because she was scared.

"To Spain, I am going with the King to get Mary back" she grabbed his arm and Catalina ran to me clutching onto my side and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"Thomas you cannot leave now" he gently pulled his arm away and cupped mama's face kissing her.

"The King asked me to come, I do not know why the Emperor did this his son and daughter were marrying Elizabeth and Edward, his daughter would have been Queen of England, he is a fool" he snapped and looked over to me. "Tom, I need you to watch over your mother and siblings for me, can you please?" I nodded and thought of George.

"What about George" the thought struck mama as well and she came over quickly.

"Yes Thomas, what of George" he only glanced towards her then back to me.

"George is coming with us as well, your mother shall watch Jane until he gets back, be good all of you" he looked at all of us and we nodded knowing he was being very serious.

"You are not going! Thomas you are 55 years old you cannot run off into war! And George! Christ, who will watch over Jane if….if something happens" mama cried and he turned pulling her close. "Please I cannot lose you as well" he hushed her, Bella looked over to me tears in her eyes, William and Anthony looked down at the floor quietly while Rose and Catalina cried.

"I love you Katherine, so much more then you shall ever know, but I am going to save Mary and bring her to France where she belongs" he kissed her once more and pushed her away turning to us. "William, Anthony" they looked up at their names and he ruffled their hair. "Help you brother take care of things" they nodded and he looked to Bella.

"I am proud of you Isabella, you have helped your mother out so much these last months" he kissed her forehead and she hugged him tightly.

"I love you papa" she rarely cried in front of anyone.

"Rose" she looked up at him with watery green eyes he smiled and hugged her close and pulled Catalina in close as well "I love you both very much, make sure mama is not alone and that she is happy" they nodded and kissed him.

"I love you papa" I swallowed hard, we all knew there was a chance that this would go badly and he might never come back. "Thomas" I stood up a little straighter as he said my name, "take care of them, make sure they go to their studies behave for your mother" I nodded knowing he was counting on me.

"I will papa" he said and lay his hand on my shoulder.

"Good boy" he looked back to mama and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her lovingly, "I love you sweetheart, and I shall come back and Mary will be fine" she shook her head.

"I cannot lose you too" he wiped her tears away and kissed her.

"Papa, it is time to go" George said entering the room, Jane was in his arms and he placed her in mama's arms.

"Janey papa" she whimpered reaching for him.

"Hush Jane, papa will be back" he promised kissing her forehead and looked to us, he said his goodbyes and we watched from the window as they left.

Queen Kathryn was left as Regent of England and mama was comforting Jane who was screaming for George "mama" Bella whispered pulling her into a chair and took Jane into her arms.

"Bella, please, I do not feel like talking right now" mama whimpered standing up and leaving to her room, no one said anything and Jane whimpered playing with Bella's hair.

Katherine Boleyn, Princess of Spain, Duchess of Wiltshire

April, 17th 1532

Today is George's birthday, though he is not here to celebrate it. Jane has missed her father terribly and all England is furious with Spain for daring to capture Mary. Queen Kathryn has been very good as Regent, but I have decided to remove my family and myself to Hever Castle, it was too hectic at Court for them right now.

"Mama, when is papa coming back?" Catalina asked that night, Jane, Rose and herself have taken to sleeping in my bed while Thomas is away.

"I do not know, they should reach Spain in about May, it will take a month to get to France and two months to return to England, so about August" she started to cry and I pulled her close to me.

"It is not fair" I kissed her head.

"I know sweetheart, I miss him too, very much" it hurt when he was not here and hurt more so that I knew he could be in harm, he was not as young as he was long ago.

"Are Beth, Maggie, James and Eddie coming to visit soon?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Queen Kathryn said she wanted to keep her children close with her" she whimpered and I stroked her face. "Mi amor, go to sleep" she nodded and closed her eyes hugging Kitty close to her.

April 18th 1532

Jane was sobbing as I bounced her in my arms "Janey want papa" she sobbed I kissed her cheek knowing how she felt.

"Papa will be back in August sweetheart, it will be okay" she shook her head letting out a scream and kicked her feet against my stomach. I held her close rocking her in my arms trying to soothe away her tears.

"Mama, is she alright?" William asked poking his head into the room, soon he was followed by Anthony.

"Yes she is fine, she just misses George very much" Catalina looked nervously down at Kitty for a few moments before slowly standing up and walking over to us.

"Jane, Cordelia gave this to me when I was little, if you want you can have her now" Jane sniffled looking down at her aunt, Cordelia looked up and watched Catalina closely as she handed Kitty to Jane "her name is Kitty" she told her, then grabbed her gown nervously.

"Janey's Kitty?" She asked holding the doll close to her little body and touched the porcelain face.

"Yes, you can have her" Jane hugged the doll tightly and I smiled with ride down at Catalina, I handed Jane to Cordelia who took her into her lap.

"I am very proud of you Catalina" I hugged her close kissing her cheek, "you did a very good thing for Jane" she nodded.

"She seemed really sad and scared, I remember being really scared when Cordy gave her to me, she seemed like she needed Kitty more then I do" I hugged her again when Lady Middleton came in.

"Lady Wiltshire, Princesses Cecily, Margaret and Elizabeth are here" I stood straight up and went down to the courtyard to see them getting out of a carriage and running to me.

"Grandmamma!" Elizabeth said wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"I am so happy to see you all" I hugged them all with a smile, I did miss them greatly.

"Mama let us come visit for a while, but James and Eddie could not" Margaret said with a sweet smile.

"Well, I am very sad Edward and James could not come, but I am very happy to see your sweet faces" they giggled, but you could see the worry behind their eyes, they were scared for Mary and their father.

"Can we go play now?" I nodded and they all raced up to the parlor where my children played.

"Lady Wiltshire" I wanted to scream, all I wanted to do was be left alone with my children but there was always something that needed my attention, I had to manage all our estates including George's and my children's, it was very stressful at times.

"Yes?" I asked politely as I could, I so wanted Thomas back again, he somehow knew how to deal with this all.