I'm BAAACCKK. I hope you've all been really well :)
Thank you for reading Medica Materia, if you have :) I'm glad a lot of you were really excited to see Alice, Erina, Ryou (and Kuchiyose) make an appearance in Daisuke's, Hisako's and Riza's story. If you haven't already read it, I urge you to read the first 2 chapters ONLY as it will contain relevant information for the Azami subplot ;) 3rd chapter is for later. Otherwise, you could still enjoy the stand-alone story-line too.
So now we are in the thick of Azami's rule. How will our favourite couple deal with this?
Chapter 36 - Sacrifices
"No Ayame, I've made up my mind"
Ayame watched on as Takumi-kun paced up and down the kitchen, his house slippers sliding against the tiles rhythmically like the ticking of a time-bomb. It echoed across the apartment and grated on Ayame's ears. She forced herself to breathe in and out steadily and she chewed her thumb nail as her eyes tracked him carefully, resisting the urge to roll up a cooking magazine and throw it her boyfriend's head to make him stop. The rational side tutted her of the reminder that he had every right to be pissed off. Everything in Tootsuki was such a mess now and it's thrown everyone into a whirl-wind tizzy. So much uncertainty was in the air as Tootsuki's future was looking so bleak and nobody knew if they were going to be sent packing. She wished there was something more she could do to help Takumi-kun, anything at all! She was sure there was, but there was the glaringly obvious feeling that he didn't want her to 'stain her hands' with the notoriety his school was contracting like a bad case of herpes.
'Like he's told me a million times tonight… Except the herpes bit'
Was it chivalry talking? Because Takumi-kun was such a terrible liar and it was getting old and Ayame and proven time and time again that she could help at least share some of the burden and be a support for him. Afterall… he had insisted she did the same when she went through her meltdown. Anyhow, at this point Takumi-kun had stuck himself into a senseless rut.
'Typical boys'
He had his arms crossed over his chest and his back hunched as he continued to carve a trench into the kitchen floor. His brows were fixed into a perma-frown and his usually beautiful blue eyes darkened to molten colbalt as he seethed and muttered something Italian under his breath. Ayame sighed. It has been a good twenty minutes and nothing had changed since she opened her mouth and pleaded with him to change his mind. She brushed her fringe from her face and exhaled noisily just to see if it would catch his attention. Nope.
"Has he worn out his slippers yet?" Isami-kun appeared beside her.
The blast of a cool breeze brushing against her bare shoulders from the sliding balcony door was a nice welcome from this hot and humid attitude rolling off Takumi-kun. The younger Italian brother had just come back from his regular phone-date with Bianca-san out on the balcony. Ayame wondered if he too had been ranting and raving to her about this crisis.
"Just about…" she released another aggravated sigh. "Takumi-kun please sit down! Getting yourself worked up isn't going to help the situation at all. We should talk about this together!"
Ayame pushed off her seat with a satisfying screech against the tiles and it broke Takumi-kun from his spellbound brooding. Finally! He jolted on the spot and whipped his head in her direction. His jaw went slack and his eyes widened until his brows shot up into his hairline before settling back down into a grumpy face. Drat. His grumpy faces with pursed lips were cute too… But he still didn't sit his butt down. He instead stormed in the opposite direction and rummaged noisily through the fridge. Great he could stew AND organise the groceries too. Ayame scratched her head in dismay, not caring that her French braid was pulling out and her hair was sticking in messy ends.
"Fratello, I wouldn't keep Ayame-chan waiting if I were you" Isami-kun helpfully included.
He ignored his brother too.
Takumi-kun's career as a chef was in danger, which was fact number one. Anything that put his schooling to achieve said career at risk, also put his visa at risk, which was fact number two. As long as he didn't get expelled from Tootsuki, his student-visa was still valid and he could stay in Japan until he received his graduate-visa which was fact number three. This brought on fact number four…
'Tootsuki is the only culinary academy that he belongs to and really thrives in…There's no other school out there he'll ever be happy with. It's the only other place apart from his Family Trattoria that he's actually laid down some roots… made friends… made rivals… met his match… Yukihira Souma'
In other words, if Takumi-kun couldn't attend Tootsuki, then he had no choice but to return to Italy. That was the dilemma now. He steam-rolled ahead and decided on the spot that he would do everything to make sure he didn't jeopardise their possible future together. Ayame wished she actually had a say in that matter...
It was the reason she came all the way here: to talk this through with Takumi-kun. But like a stubborn mule who thought it was his sole responsibility to take care of everything, he would have none of that. Ayame had no time to think it was endearing that he didn't want her to stress and worry about him, but damn it! This is making her worry even more!
He'd already said it once that he was willing to give up his future of inheriting and running the family Trattoria with Isami-kun, just so that he could be with her. Even if it was said in a jumbled mess at the spur of the moment when he somehow got the random idea that he got her pregnant. To be honest it touched her and was enough for her to jump so she could break the stratosphere because he was willing to go that far for her. But did she want him to actually sacrifice all that for her?
'I don't know...'
Ayame's heart dropped with guilt. Guilt was a terrible thing. It made one realise they were a horrible person. The chance of Takumi-kun going back to Italy stabbed at her and it made her chest tighten. It made her eyes sting just thinking about. Not everything were butterflies and rainbows for very long and she was starting to learn that. But this was not the time to be feeling sorry for herself or think about her own selfish needs. She wrung her hands in the long cuffs of her thin sweater. Takumi-kun's passion for cooking and learning, and the principles he learnt as a chef were more important than anything because that was what made Takumi Aldini who he was. It was the core and bed-rock of the Tuscan student chef who'd stolen her heart because of his amazing personality and his zeal in the kitchen.
Cooking was his life.
There was no way Ayame could let him give that up for her. Visa or no visa.
"Don't worry about that Ayame, everything will be fine. You just concentrate on your studies…" he murmured as he came back with a bag of tomatoes and zucchinis, with a dismissive shake of his head.
Oh hell naawww.
"Hey! Don't you dare brush me off like that, mister!" Ayame jumped up and pointed aggressively at him like a lawyer ferociously condemning a shoddy witness. She sucked in her lips, giving him her best angry 'turtle face'. Ayame glowered until Takumi-kun clamped his mouth shut and immediately plopped the vegetables on the kitchen island and parked his butt on the stool. He tucked his hands between his thighs and winced at her unexpectedly shrill voice. Ayame hadn't scolded anyone in a while. The last time she did was when she was beating down Otou-san's back for eating the last of her sencha-flavoured tea biscuits. Takumi-kun stared up at Ayame with big blue eyes, blinking in surprise with a tiny bit of fear. That was much better.
"That's not what—"
"I know, I know. We have to talk about this together. Full stop. You can't just go ahead and make the decision all by yourself when it involves me. We're partners, aren't we?" beseeched Ayame as she calmed down.
She reached out and firmly grasped Takumi-kun's shoulders with both hands, forcing him to glue his eyes to her, she had to be sure he understood. He slowly raised his hands and placed them over hers. He pried them from his shoulders and pressed them both to his lips before holding them in front of him gently until his eyes dropped down to stare at their interlaced fingers.
"Si, we are" he replied.
Ayame's eyes soften at the distraught expression on Takumi-kun's beautiful face. Her heart twinged with guilt again.
For a whole evening yesterday, her boyfriend had voiced his incessant displeasure for the new administration many times, most of them while preparing dinner. To an ordinary person who didn't know Takumi-kun and the people of Tootsuki, they would think he was making too much of a big deal over this and was over-sharing, and throwing a tantrum. He was throwing a tantrum she supposed, but it was highly justified. She was happy that he was better at multi-tasking in the kitchen, for example, splitting his attention between cooking a proper Tarte Tatin which apparently was 'very complex', and venting out how much he was sickened by the fact that Mimasaka Subara was hand-picked to be on the new 'Central' council. But his bubbling anger had translated into harsher cooking techniques. On more than one occasion he had looked like he was going to splash oil on himself because his hands movements got carried away long with his rapid-fire diatribe.
He had told her all about the new 'Central' where the current seats were kicked out to be replaced by new seats. He had told her about 'The Survivor's Purge' where extra-curricular cooking clubs were forced to compete in Shokugeki's to gamble their chances of surviving or be disbanded. He had told her about the new fascist curriculum from hell too.
Then thank goodness, Isami had joined in to break up the tempest and joyfully regaled the heroic deeds of the The Rebel Alliance…
That was Yukihira-kun, his dormitory mates and Kuchiyose-kun who were fighting against the new regime to preserve the Tootsuki's beliefs that all cooks with skill and creativity had a place in the culinary world, and defend those who were deserving to be in such a great school. Using their superb culinary skills, their boundless creativity and their fighting spirit, they were going to prove that this new cooking doctrine mandated by the new Director was wrong and was destroying the future of Japan's culinary culture. Kuchiyose-kun was most likely included in their Rebel Alliance because of Alice-san, which she found out was whom he had recently gotten back together with. According to Chizuru-chan, he agreed to transport his girlfriend, Arato-san, Kurokiba-san and lastly and most importantly, Nakiri Erina-san to a secluded and isolated 'safe house' of some sort below Tootsuki's radar, far away from the nasty Father. She had no idea where they went or how long they were staying there, which was fair enough that she didn't need to know. She supposed joining forces with Non-Tootsuki people warranted an apt name like The Rebel Alliance. It brought a satisfied smile to her face.
"I'm going to stay in Japan to be with you. That's what I want. In order to do that, I can't get risk getting expelled so I'm going to leave Yukihira's Rebel Alliance and—"
"That's the biggest load of particulate soil on a coloidal suspension!" Ayame ripped her hands from his and angrily crossed them over her chest with narrowing of her green eyes.
"…"
"…"
"W-What?"
"Mud! It's a big pile of mud!"
"What do you mean?! Are you saying my decision is stupid?!" Takumi-kun jumped up and firmly planted his palms on the bench. It was hard enough to make a heavy thud and for the tomatoes start rolling in the plastic bag. His lips started pulling away, showing his bared white teeth while his face grew red and his eyes twitched at her. Well, he was just going to have to get used to her whacking him with an imaginary roll of newspaper.
"G-Guys! Guys! Let's not fight about this!"
Isami-kun leapt forward from the background. Both Ayame and Takumi-kun had forgotten he was around. Which was just as well because Isami-kun did like to blend into the scenery and observe things from an objective perspective, and then jump in when he felt things were tipping the balance. He was putting on a forced smile and chuckling nervously to try and dissipate some of the tension. He frantically waved his hands in the air, a gesture of washing the windows in goodwill or something as if physical movements in the air would do any good.
"How about we talk this through with a nice cup of tea—"
"WE DON'T WANT TEA!"
"WE DON'T WANT TEA!"
"WAH! Alright, I'm out!"
Both she and Takumi-kun suddenly snapped at him, their frustrations already peaking and blinding them from their actions. Isami-kun held his hands up in surrender and backed out the kitchen in haste. His poor younger brother was the unfortunate and convenient magnet to draw all that. The two teens heaved and took a moment to catch their breaths before resuming, their heads still in the electrical thunderstorm brewing untill the point of no return. Ayame banished Isami-kun from her mind as she glared at her incredibly stubborn, and obstinate boyfriend.
"I love you, Takumi-kun and I can't stand by and watch you throw away everything you believe in for my sake. Cooking is you! You've spent years building up your skill, went through lots of trials and errors, learnt and used new techniques, practiced creating some wonderful, different and unique recipes and bettering, and improving yourself each and every time. That's where your passion and soul lies. It's who you are! I love you because of it. You shouldn't compromise who you are for me"
Ayame defiantly strode around the kitchen island to stand beside him. Takumi-kun narrowed his eyes and twisted in his seat to face her as she finally stopped close enough to be within an arm's reach. He lifted his head to look at her, his handsome face was all pinched up as his blue eyes scrutinised hers. Ayame gulped and nervously placed her hand on his cheek, feeling the soft skin. He conceded and closed his eyes. He leaned in against her hand, his shoulder slumped wearily.
"I love you too…" said Takumi-kun. He said it so softly and gently. "And I'm not compromising anything. It's only just a year and a half and then I'll graduate. After I that, I don't need to look back on Nakiri Azami and whatever he's done to Tootsuki"
"What about The Rebel Alliance? Your friends? Poor Nakiri-san who'd been tormented by her father? You're willing to do nothing let them get slaughtered by the side that's determined to rip them apart? Is that something you want to look back on?" asked Ayame, making another desperate attempt to change his mind. She knew this was a low blow, but at this point she'd try anything.
"Ayame—"
"Stand-up and fight back! Or you don't believe you'll have what it takes to challenge Central? Is that why you're being ridiculously cautious?"
"W-What?!" Takumi-kun jerked his head away and stood up. His flustered and blushing face told her he'd taken the bait. He pushed out of his stool and towered over her but Ayame held her ground. She was dangerously poking the bear. Takumi-kun may be a bumbling, clumsy, bashful and shy most of the time when she was around, but he could chew somebody and spit them out if provoked in any way. Aside from his cool fury when on the skukugeki platform, his temper and hot headedness was usually funny to watch, especially when bantering with Yukihira-kun or arguing with a laughing Isami-kun. When directed at her, it had the same impact as a feather tickling her face.
"I can take on Central and beat the lot of them. They're nothing but just sheep pretending to be wolves who are too afraid to be eaten. They have no actual skill whatsoever!"
"Then you have nothing to fear, Takumi-kun! Continue to fight with your friends and you guys will surely prevail and return Tootsuki back into the marvelous school it was before"
"Mamma mia!" Takumi spun away from Ayame and thrusted his hands with palms up at the ceiling as if there was some deity hanging upside down on it and listening in. "That's not the point! You don't get it… Nakiri Azami is a maniaco, but he's not stupid. He won't hesitate to expel anybody he sees as a threat, regardless if they make a move or not. I'm not taking that risk! I'm doing this for us!"
"But that's not what I want!"
Takumi-kun stopped in his tracks. The air was suddenly ice cold and desolate. The silence loomed over them like a death breathing against the window. He quickly turned back around to face her and it was frozen in absolute shock.
Oh no
Oh no, no, no
Ayame wished she took back those damned words.
"T-Takumi-kun, that's not what I m-meant…"
"You… don't want me to stay?"
The hurt in his tremoring voice was deafening. His eyes swam with incredulity as if she shot him in the back.
"I… It's not that" Ayame sucked in her breath as a shuddering feeling was accumulating in her throat. She felt like she was drowning "I don't want you to s-sacrifice your values for me..."
Takumi-kun was too far gone and wasn't listening to anything more. He wretched his gaze from her as if he couldn't handle looking at her and it was making her choke with an oncoming sob which she fought to keep down before she turned into a crying mess. His blue eyes were fathomless and distant, filled with a pain she couldn't bear to see, while hers were tearing up fast. His jaw was clenched so hard she was afraid he'd break his teeth. Oh god. The hurt she had just inflicted onto him was so great that he looked like he was rendered numb as he was rooted in front of her. The rest of his body was tensed and coiled and it was frightening, not because she thought he would lash out, but rather that her words had reduced him into a body full of quaking pain. His barely controlled breathing was quickly becoming raspy and his face was trying very hard to face elsewhere.
"T-Takumi-kun…?" She forced her feet to move, they trembled with nerves, anxious and terrified that the damage was already done. She reached out a shivering hand. An overwhelming fear gripped her when he instead scrunched up his eyes, the golden arch of his brows creased together tightly and his soft blonde hair partially masked his face. Her mind was working into overdrive, the gears spinning out of control. What had she done? Why couldn't she shut her mouth!
"Umm—"
"Ayame… I'm really tired tonight" he stepped back from her and wrapped his lean arm around his stomach and with the other he covered his mouth and turned his head to side, his fringe covering his eyes. Ayame breath hitched, fearing the worst as he backed up like her presence burned him. He was physically putting up a fortress around himself, to keep her away and it broke her heart. The impending close of this disastrous conversation sent Ayame spiraling through a blind panic as she staggered over herself to conjure up any words to salvage anything she hadn't smashed between them.
"Takumi-kun, I'm sorry—"
"It's getting late… you should go home…"
He suddenly moved forward and brushed past her without a glance, the cold gesture combined with his concealed pain in his voice tore up her insides. Ayame became enslaved into listening to her pounding heart and the quickly disappearing pad of his slipper-wearing feet crossing through the living room and down the hall. She couldn't move a muscle, she stood there paralysed as her boyfriend literally left her to retreat back into his room. The final clicking of a closing bedroom door had done the deed and Ayame slapped her hand over her mouth and finally bursted out crying into her palm. She had pushed too hard! The hot tears which poured from her stinging eyes seared her skin and her body convulsed with such sobs she couldn't think she'd ever recover from it. Ayame clamoured over the kitchen island and buried her hands in her face as her soft high-pitched wails was muffled by her wet and mucous-covered hands. Such boundless guilt ate her up and she felt like she was the biggest idiot in the world! The pain in his voice and forced detachment in his eyes scared her deeply. She wanted to throw up.
"A-Ayame-chan! I just saw Frate— What's wrong?" she barely registered Isami-kun's voice over her relentless hiccuping.
"Oh g-god… I-I did s-something terrible…!" She blubbered. She felt Isami-kun wrap his long arms around her and pulled her to his chest. Ayame didn't have the strength to resist him and collapsed into his kind and gentle warmth as he stroked her hair. "I d-didn't mean it that way..."
"It's alright, Ayame-chan. It's not as bad as you think" he tried to soothe her.
"N-No! T-Takumi-kun must hate m-me now. I-I" Ayame sniffed. "I can't…!"
"It's just a big misunderstanding. Here, I'll talk to him" Isami-kun leaned across the kitchen island and pulled over a box of tissues. Ayame couldn't stop herself and grabbed a handful and stuffed it all over her face. Why couldn't she explain things better? Why wasn't she good at talking to people? Why couldn't she tell when to stop? She knew that Takumi-kun was in a vulnerable state but she still didn't pause to think and understand what he was going through and how he was feeling about this whole thing. She only considered how she felt about this. Her selfishness astounded her sometimes and because of that Takumi-kun probably thought she didn't want to have a long term relationship with him. He was trying to do this for her and she threw it all back into his face! He must have felt utterly betrayed and it was all her doing.
"I'll make you a cup of tea, okay? Don't go anywhere. Just relax and calm yourself. I'll go talk to Fratello"
Ayame shook her head and clumsily snatched at Isami-kun's sweater sleeve before he took off for the kettle, not wanting him to waste his generosity on her. Her skin stang from stretching under the tears caking her face as she grimaced at Isami-kun. She bowed her head, feeling undeserving of her boyfriend's brother's kindness. She couldn't ask him to do this! Isami-kun had nothing to do with it and it would be cruel to place the burden on him to repair this. She tried to force the words out, but nothing came but more erratic hiccups and a measly gurgle.
"Shhhhh… Trust me, Fratello is stubborn and usually only listens to the reasons of his own mind but that never lasts for long. He'll come around, you'll see! I understand that you want the best for my brother. But what you need to understand that you are the most important thing in the world to Fratello. Following the whims of a mad-man for just the final one and half years of high school is a small price to pay for him"
"B-But his friends—"
"Will understand. It's nothing personal and they won't hold it against him"
The brunette Italian patted her hand still death-gripping his sweater sleeve. He slowly unraveled her mucous-covered fingers from him and she heard the distant sound of water filling the kettle. The thundering pipes rattled in the walls and it did little to distract Ayame from imagining herself resolutely walking the plank. Soon a large mug of tea was placed down in front of her. The steam caressed her face until the dried up tears melted and her face stopped feeling caked in dirt. She tentatively slid her hands across the bench and fingered the hot surface of the mug.
"I'm not saying that you're in the wrong or in the right. It's not that clear cut. But one thing for sure is that both of you guys weren't really listening to each other, were you?"
Ayame nodded sadly.
"I'll be right back" said Isami-kun, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head.
'Why doesn't she believe that I know what I'm doing!'
Takumi pounded his pillow until the cotton inside turned to mush. He slid off the bed and fell on his behind and slammed his body back onto the side of the bed. He growled loudly and hammered his fist onto the bedside table. His family picture-frame rattled noisily and he probably made the whole thing move a few centimetres which was more than he could say about Ayame's stubbornness. He raked his fingers through his sweaty hair, feeling the scraping of his nails against his scalp. He groaned under the pricks of pain dotting along his skull. He pulled his knees up so he could rest his elbows against it and let his head fall back onto the side of the mattress. His throat stretched out until it was hard to breathe.
Ayame thought he was selling himself out?! That was preposterous! Nothing was going to ever change his cooking style or the years of teaching his familia had instilled in him. There was no way Nakiri Azami's brain-washing could influence him to follow that demente e folle cooking philosophy, rubbish. Nor could his burning desire to exercise and craft his culinary soul into his own unique style, be tainted by that despicable trash. Ayame knew he was stronger than that, she also believed he was an extraordinary chef, she said that herself. He loved her so much and she did too. So why was she resisting his decision with so much conviction?! That only left one thing… maybe…
His heart burned at the thought…
Maybe she didn't love him as much as he did for her…
His door creaked.
"Go away, Isami"
He could sense it was him a mile a way. Twins were great like that. The tall sillouette of his younger brother didn't budge. Instead it stepped in further and the door slowly clicked shut again, with just the two Aldini brothers casted by the warm glow of his lamp-light. Takumi scoffed and whipped his head to the other side, refusing to look at him. Whatever his younger brother had to say he'll listen for about five minutes before Takumi would throw him out himself.
"You're misinterpreting what Ayame-chan said" his brother said in a monotone voice.
Takumi heard the springs creak as he felt Isami sit on his bed, his legs planted firmly beside his seated position on the carpet. Takumi grumbled and glowered at the bedside table. His heavy breathing consumed the small room.
"She's worried about you. She doesn't want you to change yourself because of her" Isami continued.
"I'm not—" Takumi sucked in a breath to stop the shouting creeping up his throat. "…Going to change myself. She doesn't need to worry"
"But she doesn't know that. Ayame-chan thinks it's her fault that you've come to this decision. It's unlike you"
"Really? You think I'm not being myself?! This is my own decision to make and I was in my right mind. I haven't compromised anything" Takumi turned around and snapped. He instantly regretted it at the disappointed look in Isami's eyes. "Besides, I'm doing it for us and she's just told me didn't want 'us'!"
"That's not what I heard, Fratello and we both know I've got the better ears" Isami had the gall to sigh at him.
Incensed fury made the hairs on his body stand on end and his blood boiled up again as hurt and sadness pierced his heart over and over again. All he could hear was her screaming at him that she didn't want it. It took him a few seconds to realise the words that sprang from her lips and it felt like he was struck by lightning. His heart had stopped and his breath caught in his throat like a noose had yanked him up into the air.
"Ayame-chan doesn't want you to go ahead and make a decision without talking to her about it first. That's what she didn't want"
Takumi gnashed his teeth, realising that her words indeed could have been interpreted in more than one way. But that didn't stop the feeling of being unappreciated goading at him to continue to stew until she was the one to change her mind and agree with him that this was the best course of action. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the gentle side of him who was crippled at the thought of his upset girlfriend coaxed him to re-think Ayame's words under the new light of Isami's attempt to mediate the problem.
"One and a half more years with that bastardo Nakiri is nothing…" grumbled Takumi.
"It's more than that, Fratello. She doesn't want you to lose our friends and distance yourself from them. She doesn't want you to watch them from the side-line, with your hands imprisoned in your own cuffs while they fight. Aside from our family back in Firenze, they are all we have and familia always stick together. Knowing you, watching them struggle against Central will cut you deeply too. Expelled or not expelled, Ayame-chan will still be there for you. In fact, I know she would be even more proud to be your girlfriend for fighting what you believe in" said Isami.
"I have a future to think about"
"And the future is long and full of possibilities! You and Ayame-chan have a whole life-time ahead. Don't let this moment carve it in stone right here, right now. If you go through with this, guilt will eat away at Ayame-chan and you will grow to resent her. Your relationship will fester on the inside until one of you will say something you'll seriously regret. Is that what you want?"
Isami slid off the bed and sat right beside Takumi. His brother's warmth on his left side smelt of Ayame's raspberry meringue scented lipbalm. There was also the hint of her salty tears. His stomach dropped in regret. If this was what having a steel bat pulverising him felt like, then he'd better do something to about it. The image of his girlfriend's big green eyes filled with unshed tears resurfaced itself. Takumi shook his head, realising he could've done this better. That crying face was because of him and overwhelming shame beated down on his head. Ayame was probably curled up into a ball in the kitchen and it was all his fault.
"Make peace with Ayame-chan" whispered Isami.
Takumi nodded. He felt so stupid, so careless and he was such a monster. He couldn't believe he let it get this far, that he'd made his girlfriend feel so guilty because of his selfish need to be the one to try and fix everything and solve everything so that she didn't have to lift a finger. He thought he was doing the right thing, no matter how much it went against what he believed in, to ensure that they would continue to be together. But perhaps trying to do everything himself was wrong… it was definitely wrong to upset his girlfriend like this.
"Come on…" Isami helped him up.
Takumi exhaled noisily and stumbled to his feet. His knees were jelly. He straightened his shirt and ran a quick hand through his hair so that he didn't look like a terrible mess. The first few steps towards the door was heavy like wearing clay boots. He squashed down the shame and fear snaking its way up his legs to chain him to the floor. He didn't know what to expect. Was she still upset? Was it replaced with anger or revulsion? He gulped. There was only one way to find out. Takumi twisted the door knob and emerged into the hallway. He softly padded his way to the kitchen and had to squint from the flooding kitchen lights before his eyes could readjust. Everything in front of him was stark white before bleeding back into their appropriate shapes and colour. His eyes sought out the quivering figure of his girlfriend, but she was nowhere near to be found. He blinked in confusion and dread fell on him that maybe she already left the apartment. A quiet sniffling alerted him to the living room. Takumi pricked his ears up and crept over, pulling his cardigan over himself as he slowly peered over the back of the couch.
'I'm such an idiot'
Ayame was curled up into a ball amongst the cushions like a tiny squirrel protecting its stash of acorns. Takumi's eyes soften and bit his lips hard. Ayame's French braid was pulled apart and her sleek midnight black hair was splayed over her face and shoulders. Her face still had tear marks and her lips were slightly opened, her breath coming out in tiny whistles. She looked like she had just dozed off, already tuckered out from crying. Takumi reached out and brushed her hair away from her face. Her soft hair and soft skin felt like silken cream under her calloused finger tips. Ayame shifted her head, turning towards hands. Takumi watched transfixed as she began to stir from her restless slumber. Her swollen green eyes blinked blearily up. She gasped and tried to sit herself up straight but Takumi slid in beside her before she could back away from him. He gently tugged her towards and Ayame immediately clamoured over the cushions, settling herself into his arms as they enveloped her. Takumi's chest burst in relief. He breathed out a shuddering sigh and swallowed the lump forming in his throat, thankful that Ayame didn't try to get away from him. He tucked her head beneath his chin and allowed the warm puffs of her breath against his neck soothe him. Her smaller hands clutched his cardigan, anchoring herself to him.
"I'm so sorry amore" he spoke into the tops of her hair.
"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I should've respected your decision" said Ayame into his neck. Her husky voice still carried traces of sadness and Takumi winced at the guilt she didn't deserve to feel.
"Don't apologise, I should've talked to you about this. I didn't mean to upset you. Will you forgive me?" Takumi pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. He stared into her beautiful green eyes which were still dull and sad. He stroked his thumb gently across her cheek, afraid that it would crack under his ministrations. Her long lashes fluttered together as she bit her lower lip.
He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he resisted.
His girlfriend nodded her head and looked away bashfully. Takumi inched a smile, as wide as it was appropriate.
"I'm sorry I-I yelled at y-you too…" she said.
Takumi gave in and kissed her nose. "You can yell at me anytime, mi amore" The blonde Italian pulled her further until she was sitting in his lap. He leaned back and allowed her full body weight to rest on his chest. He continued to inhale her scent. Ayame shifted again and lifted her head up. She pressed her lips to his and Takumi groaned. He kissed her back gently, being careful not to push too much. He slid his hands up to the base of her neck, threading his fingers into the hair at her nape and cradled her head close to his. Ayame's dainty fingers trembled as she hesitantly tugged his cardigan to pull him closer. She sighed as Takumi tested the water and probed his tongue along the seams of her lips, asking permission to deepen the kiss. She slowly parted them and he filled her mouth, swiping his tongue across her teeth. The two reluctantly parted and Ayame pressed her forehead against his. The way her chest raised and fell made him feel needy but he put a collar on it because he didn't want this to be about him.
"I'll— umm… I'll stand up against Azami and his reign. I won't let him break Tootsuki's spirit. Not in my last days with my friends at least. I'll continue to be the best chef I can be" Takumi whispered.
"And I'll back you up all the way. Nothing will change that…" she whispered back.
Her tiny smile lit up his world.
"Fuck me, this place is so damn crowded"
Chizuru skirted along the edge of the wall sneering at the mass of shoppers pressing their faces against the glass cabinets of the perfume section in the department store. The crisp and glittering white surfaces blinded her. It was like being in a futuristic movie. Everything was spotless and expensive. One fingerprint on the pristine white would ban from the store for life. The elegant and oh-so-breakable bottles of the tiny and massive perfume bottles sat pretty on their stands. Even for test bottles, they looked damn good. Sounds of spritzing peppered the place. Even though she couldn't smell it, she could still feel the ethanol base of the perfume going up her nose. It tickled and made her want to sneeze. So she held her breath every now again as she walked on by, trying to dodge the dispersing liquid from landing on her. How ironic. She was holding her breath even though she couldn't smell a fucking thing.
She wasn't here for the perfume, duh. She just had to bypass this section to get to the other end of the department store that sold candles.
Chizuru collected candles.
Big ones, small ones, colourful ones, oddly shaped ones.
Did she light them up? Yeah, that's what they're made to do. Did she give them as gifts? Only to the people she didn't really care about like distant relatives she didn't hear about until the last minute. What could she say? Stocking up on candles saved her time and money to buy gifts too.
Contradictory to everything else in her life she wanted something warm to return home to when her parents were out working late. Kuchiyose-kun had it and Ayame-chan had it. She wanted it too. Chizuru pondered about the one that was supposed to be on sale according to the department store catalogue. It would fit nicely into her large collection. She had been feeling the need to light up candles more often these days. Staring into the flickering orange flames brought a sense of calm to her. The bright and glowing light always captivated her. She could stare at it for hours and watch it dance. It was hypnotising and made her forget about the majority of the idiocy she dealt with day after day. The stupid teachers, the stupid homework. Most days she was agitated, fed up with the regular bitchy snobs in her class. She was thankful for Ayame-chan and Kuchiyose-kun for keeping her sane in school, they were the best friends she could ask for. But at home she was just by herself so what was she going to do?
Ayame-chan had a boyfriend and Kuchiyose-kun got back together with his Ex.
She couldn't very well call to hang out with them at random times in the night like she did before.
Then there was Terunori Kuga. Wasn't he just a shining star, just begging to blow up into a catastrophic supernova from all the ego he ate for breakfast. Well… some wishes were too big to grant because there was no God she could pray too that was powerful enough to cast a magic spell for him to shut his disgustingly huge trap. He was constantly talking about himself. It was non-stop! Boasting about winning this, flapping on about creating new recipes and how much he was the best at cooking hands-down. Also he went on-and-on about food and how great his Sichuan cuisine tasted. Pfffftt… Like she understood half of it anyway. Then to add more to the mix, he bragged about his credentials and experiences and how much of a good catch he was. Did she give a fuck? No. If he wasn't yammering about himself, he was freaking advertising his Chinese Research Society to her face and how great a president of his RS he was. Right now he was the prominent reason why she felt the need to light up more of her candle collection and stare it like a zombie until the cows came home. Also she seriously considered doing yoga to straighten the kinks in her chakras caused by the one-man show called Terunori Kuga. That punk-ass midget was still feeding her and still dragging her around Karakura town on random food tours. She no longer had the energy to fight him and his energizer-bunny fuck-face. So she went along with his whims as long as he didn't feel too adventurous in the late afternoons.
At least with him, it was never boring…
Chizuru deftly weaved through the dawdling customers, trying not to think about the delinquent wannabe of Tootsuki. She was small enough to not require pushing and shoving, but every now and then she might spit out an 'Excuse me' and lightly elbow people long. Finally, she made it to the candle section. It was more breathable and wasn't clogged up with commuters and wasn't filled with ethanol hanging in the air. There were a million candles. Department stores sure didn't disappoint. The short Karakura high school student gave the section a good once over, taking in all the numerous colourful candles of all shape and sizes. She remembered the brand she was after was called Shikon candles. Chizuru smirked in triumph when she found the small cherry red candle sitting on the sales table.
'Found you, little buddy'
She lifted the votive from amongst its discounted frat-party and turned it around in her hand. Oh yes, she really liked this deep red colour. It was almost similar to the first candle she ever got. It wasn't bright, nor was it dull in shade. It was a velvety colour. The smooth matte surface of the votive felt nice and cool against her palm and it slid nicely as she rotated it around. The shape was a bit bigger than she liked but that was alright. She thought about her first candle.
It began when Ayame-chan bought one for her birthday two years ago. It was a soy candle in a sea-blue tea-cup. It was literally a fucking tea-cup. It had a saucer and everything! The candle maker decided it was a fantastic idea to make candles in porcelain tea cups to appeal to the growing hipster trend. Ayame-chan had thought it was just a silly and fun gift that they could laugh about and oh man was she right. When Chizuru lit it up for the first time and let it sit at her bedside table it made her smile. She wasn't a naturally smiley person. For some reason only Ayame-chan and Kuchiyose-kun could make her do that without feeling weird. The tea-cup didn't match to anything else in her room but it still felt like it belonged there. She admitted that it was kind of… nice.
Ayame-chan called it cute. Urgh… she cringed because she hated that word. She didn't suit it. Ayame-chan suited it, she didn't. If Chizuru had to kick up her feet and sift through the entire Japanese dictionary to find a word to accurately describe herself, she'd find a handful, but half of it wouldn't be apt enough. Ayame-chan told her the candle was scented also and that when the wax melted, it released the oils and gave the room a pleasant smell.
Not that she could tell, but she still appreciated the sentiment.
Chizuru smiled at the memory.
The hair on her back stood up on end.
The short girl looked behind her to identify what was that strange feeling. She clutched the candle to her chest and craned her neck around. Her brown eyes landed on the figure of a guy standing in the next aisle. His back was to her and he was wearing a grey grand-dad shirt and a pair of black jeans. His silver hair was let loose and swayed against his shoulder blades as he bent over and plucked up a candle from the lower shelf with his left hand while his other hand was pre-occupied with another candle.
That dark-skin...Huh… he looked familiar…
"Hayama-san?"
Chizuru finally put name to that figure and eeped from saying his name aloud. Whoops, that came out of nowhere. The boy not only had impeccable smelling, but also hearing. His back went ram-rod straight and he looked around defensively. When his eyes met hers, there was an astonished surprise before it melted back into derision. He stared down at her from his nose probably wondering why she was here. Well, she was thinking it too…
"What are you doing here?" he asked. His voice was deep as usual with a hint of suspicion behind it.
Chizuru lifted her cherry red candle and showed him. "I'm looking for a creative way to make Molotov Cocktails that will appeal to girl scouts"
He arched a silver brow.
"I'm joking. Lighten-up" she rolled her eyes.
He sighed and approached her. Chizuru watched as his tall figure came closer until she had to raise her head to look at his chiselled face. His jade green eyes were unnerving but she stood her ground and didn't shy away. He dipped his head and sniffed at her face.
"What the fuck, dude?!" Chizuru screeched at him and skidded backwards. She slapped her free hand over her neck, shielding it away from the crazy lunatic with the radioactive-super-powered snout!
"When I said you'd smell better if you wore cinnamon the last time we met, I didn't mean to literally rub ground cinnamon powder on yourself" he said blandly, like he was stating an obvious fact to a five-year-old child.
Chizuru's cheeks flushed in no time and her eye twitched sporadically. Was it that obvious?! She looked online to find cinnamon smelling ones, but they weren't available with the exception of pot-pourri. She decided to find some alternative methods and made sure she used a tiny pinch so that it wasn't too much. One time when out grocery shopping, her mum said that cinnamon could be too strong for most people. And how the fuck did her remember telling her that?! As if he cared!
"W-Well, nobody makes cinnamon flavoured perfumes, you know!" Chizuru yelled back in embarrassment.
He chuckled. "The term is 'scented'. Not 'flavoured'"
"SHUT UP!"
He chuckled again and it was so infuriating, eyes glittered in the bright shop light as he smirked like a devil, holding those two candles in his nimble fingers. She blushed profusely and fought the urge to park her foot up his arse and give him something to always her remember her by.
"Vanilla and chai" he pointed to her hand.
"Hmm? Oh this" Chizuru twirled her cherry-red votive candle in her hand. "Yeah, I like the colour. You reckon it smells okay?" she asked.
"Take it or leave it" he shrugged.
"So anyway, what are you doing here, loser" she resumed their sparring match. He didn't flinch at all from being called 'loser' which mad Chizuru mentally snap her finger and go drat! He was totally crying that time when he was dragging his feet and trudging away from the stadium at Tootsuki.
"Looking for a present for my professor" he said, dismissing her taunt.
"Oh, like a birthday present?"
He continued to stare at her. There was a flicker of sadness in those jade depths but it disappeared before she could tell if it was really there or not.
"Goodbye present"
"Is she going somewhere?" Chizuru stopped cowering and stepped forward. She dropped her hand back to her side and dusted them against her school uniform skirt.
"It's me, not her. I'm not going to be around for her much, that's all"
He turned around and placed one of the candles back onto the shelf. He instead kept an off-cream coloured candle. It was inside a mason jar which was very fashionable amongst netizens these days. The rim of the mason jar was tied off with a red ribbon too. His voice took on an airy feel like he was thinking aloud rather than talking to her. Chizuru tilted her head, thinking if what cryptic subtext could be imbedded in those words. Hayama-san always came across to her as incredibly arrogant, even when he was sulking like a sore loser after that round in the competition she was spectating with her friends. She expected that it was probably his default setting. But right now he was being… dare she say… amiable.
"Well, you got yourself a winner there" the nodded to the candle in his hand. "'Cotton sheets' by Shikon is a popular one according to the best-sellers list. I got one of those myself" Chizuru smirked.
"Hmmmmm. Is that so…" Hayama placed it back on the shelf and made an obvious attempt to look for something else.
"Wow. Rude much?"
"Relax, I was joking" He sniggered and swiped the candle back into his hands again not without flashing her a condescending glance.
Chizuru groaned and face-palmed. It was too late in the day for this shit. Her face still felt hot and whenever she looked at Hayama, it seemed to feel hotter and her school bow tie felt a tad too tight. Hayama walked off towards the cash register leaving her behind. Chizuru grumbled and followed him. She wanted to hurry up and pay and go home too. It totally was a coincident that she was ready to head to the cash-register too! As they stood in line behind an old woman taking eons to take out coins from her purse, Hayama spoke again.
"You know a lot about candles" he commented.
"I know a lot of things"
He grunted in amusement. "So tell me your answer then. Would you do anything for your parents?"
"Depends. If they want me to clip their toenails for them, forget it" replied Chizuru. She rocked on the balls of her feet waiting for the old woman in front of them to unfurl her banknotes.
"More like if they were in danger. Would you sacrifice yourself for them?"
Chizuru landed back on her feet and gave Hayama and odd look. The fuck? What kind of question was that? It was so random it killed the mood. He was just staring straight ahead, his face as blank as a slate. Suddenly his jade-green iris darted to her from the corner of his eyes and she jumped a bit in fright.
"Uh, yeah I would. I mean… they've done everything for me. They've raised me, made sure I was clothed and fed. They made sure I had a roof over my head. They did their best to make sure I was healthy and happy. They kept me warm and told me stories when I was sick so I could sleep well. They taught me how to look after myself. Even though they can be a bit annoying, they always want the best for me. My parents are the reason why I exist. Nobody on Earth can love you more than your parents, right?
"I wouldn't know. I don't have any parents"
Aaaaannnd the mood was sent to heaven and was never going to reincarnate. Boy, that sure escalated fast. Putting aside the fact that Hayama was an orphan, this guy was weird…
"You… have my c-condolences…" Chizuru said awkwardly. She was getting the hibbie jibbies with this topic. He couldn't be randomly asking her these things without a reason could he. She mulled over her thoughts to find the answer. Nope she couldn't find one. There was no going back on this awkwardness, so she just went with it. He grunted again.
"What if… having to be the bad guy is part of your sacrifice and it hurts them in the process, but nonetheless, the result is they will be safe from harm?"
"Does this have anything to do with the shit-storm at Tootsuki?" she asked.
Hayama stiffened imperceptibly. Ohhh… maybe. Tootsuki students were behaving weirdly ever since that dude the Nakiri Family chucked out came back. She took Paolo and his brother for example. They were like cats hissing about his name. She heard about it from Ayame-chan first before her social media page was flooded with the news. The new administration was the source of every Tootsuki student's problem it seemed. Class was unfair? Nakiri Azami's fault. Tuition was too expensive? Nakiri Azami's fault. Late for class because one lived outside the campus, therefore only could get the shit ingredients? Nakiri Azami's fault. Partnered up with a vapid fan-girl for practical classes? Nakiri Azami's fault. Yukihira-kun continuing to dodge challenges for shokugekis? Nakiri Azami's fault. Misspelling a word on the recipe assignment and getting deducted marks for that? Nakiri Azami's fault.
She noticed Hayama was taking a very long time to answer her.
"It's a hypothetical"
Chizuru nodded, quietly accepting his answer even though she had an inkling feeling that it had something to do with Tootsuki. It was just speculation on her part so other than that, she didn't have a clue. Since he seemed to be very sincere in these ridiculous, but morally thought provoking questions. She'd give him the benefit of the doubt.
"Alright… Lets stretch this 'hypothetical' to 'loved ones', not just parents. Then I would still go through with it and lie through my teeth as long as they're safe. Because at the end of the day, their safety comes first and that's all that matters. They may never understand or know the real reasons why, but that's not important. They may end up hating your guts for the rest of their days. But the fact is, some people live as a villian and die as a hero"
Chizuru looked up into Hayama's face. He had a contemplative stare. She looked off to the side, mulling over and choosing her next words carefully.
"Being a hero isn't about letting people know you did the right thing. It's about YOU knowing YOU did the right thing" She hoped that made some sense.
Finally, the old woman made a successful transaction, counted her change and placed it back into her purse with those knobbly arthritic fingers. When she managed to do a U-turn and hobbled away on her four-wheeled walker, Hayama stepped up and placed the Cotton sheets scented Shikon candle on the counter. The shop keeper blinded them with a huge smile and scanned his item.
Suddenly, the spice master of Tootsuki turned around and plucked her cherry-red one straight out of her hands and plopped it onto the counter too.
"Oi!—"
"I'm including her purchase with mine too" he said.
FUCKING HELL! That was her candle! If he wanted one, he could've mosey on over to the sales table too! The cashier ignored her protests as she happily scanned the item away with a dumb smile on her stupid face. Hello?! It was obvious that she was totally against this! Hayama pulled out a debit card from his wallet and tapped it onto the paypass scanner, making a complete transaction. Once the machine spat out the receipt he took the plastic bag and walked off for the next person in line to get their turn. Why would he do a fucking thing like that?! What kind of stunt was he trying to pull?! She could pay for her own things now and she didn't need a guy to think so little of her and go ahead and pay for her stuff! Just because she didn't go to a fancy private school, that didn't mean she was broke!
"Hey, wait you thieving bastard!" she shrieked across the floor.
His long strides made it difficult for her to keep up with him and she had to tighten her grip on her book-bag because running with it was bitch and a half. People started flooding between them and she was scared she'd lose sight of him amongst the throng. That her cherry-red candle was supposed to be fucking hers! She showed no mercy as she mowed down the shoppers until she reached the automatic sliding doors. She took no notice of the tall Tootsuki student stopping in the middle of the entrance and she promptly collided into his back. Fuck! His back was like the Great Wall of China and he didn't even budge, that twat. She rubbed her sore nose and suddenly a deep red candle was dangling in front of her face.
"If you'd just be patient and waited, I'd have given it to you without crushing your nose on my back" he smirked. He dropped it into her hands that was just coming down from her nose to prepare giving him an upper-cut and fear pulsed through her as she fumbled to unfurl her fist, not to drop the candle and smash it all over the ground.
"Alright wise guy. You hang on a second while I pay you back" Chizuru growled and yanked at the straps on her book-bag, determined to get out her wallet and pay him back so she could be done with this.
"No"
"No?"
"Don't worry about it. It was nothing" said Hayama.
"Oh, my rights as a woman ain't nothing. I don't want to owe you anything" she bit back harshly while she shoved her new candle into her bag and unzipped her wallet.
"I just bought you a candle. How does this have to do with feminism?" he furrowed his brow. "It's a gift, just accept it"
"Gift for what?" Chizuru pulled out the exact change and tried to grab his hand to dump the cash in, but he dodged her very well.
"For helping me make up my mind"
He sidestepped her and swiftly turned away, the plastic bag with a candle for his professor thrown over his shoulder. He have her one last look without intense, jade green eyes that were full of determination. The tiny quirk in the corner of his lips glinted with an untold story that the short Karakura high school student was sure was going to be a rather sad one. The plastic bag swayed along with his long silver hair. Chizuru was more confused than ever and that was saying something. There was no subtext to be had this time.
'Make his mind up for what?'
Ayame and Takumi had their first argument… And Isami?! Isn't he the most amazing brother? I want one of those and not the bitchy sister I'm stuck with. But nonetheless, whose side are you guys on? Ayame's? or Takumi's? Or Isami who believes nobody is right or wrong?
I decided to call The Rebels "The Rebel Alliance" (It wasn't inspired by Star Wars… YES IT TOTALLY WAS). Since Kuchiyose the Non-Tootsuki was involved as the getaway transport for Hisako, Erina, Ryou, I thought it was fitting to call the whole group an 'alliance'.
Hayama bought a candle for Chizuru :3 She's an easily agitated girl, which is why she needs candles to stare at. Mainly because Kuga is annoying her a lot at work hahaha! I still think she should just take a chill-pill. And now our favourite Karakura midget has unknowingly set a precedent for Hayama…
Thanks for waiting for me! I'll see you soon.
Signing off
-TripWire-dono
