Chapter 46 - Everybody Learns
Erina was the last person left in the kitchen hall. She took her time cleaning up and waited until everybody deserted the place and she was left alone with her own thoughts. She even told Hisako to go on ahead without her.
'I didn't throw it away. What's happening to me?'
She curled her fingers in and out of her fist and watched them. She was unanimously voted by the class to judge and grade her peers and even run the class when there was a sudden announcement from one of Father's administrators that Chef Chapelle was sacked from his position. The delivery was stone cold. The French chef had lost his job. The shock of it was so damning that she didn't even fight back against the students who had pushed her to the front of the class. Keep calm and carry on she had to keep telling herself. She let the news of the long-time employee of Tootsuki who had dedicated his life to teaching them momentarily touch her soul, before wiping them away. They were in the midst of a Cold War. She had no time for sentimentality. She couldn't let people see Father got to her.
The first dish Erina had tasted was subpar. Way below. It had been probably worth a trip to the bin. There had been too much salt and it had been chargrilled for too long, it had been like getting kicked in the kidneys on the way to the gardens. Her first reaction had been to throw the disgusting thing back into the student's face, but her fingers had only managed to just lifting the rim of the dish...
... and then she had caught herself.
The absolute horror on the student's face, as it caved into fear and disappointment had struck her somehow. No. She had seen that sort of expression many times over and none of it had ever made a difference in her actions. She would've still thrown the dish back at them. Instead she had set the plate back down. Her eyes had trailed over the student's face. His chef's uniform had been splattered with oil, some of it managed to get onto his face. Oil burns were no laughing matter and he appeared to have had applied some aloe gel onto it already. Her eyes had trailed down his form and landed on his fingers. A few of them had been taped with bright blue bandaids. When he had wrung his hands in front of him, she spotted a few light scars peppering his hands. Chef's hands. He worked hard, didn't he...
Suddenly the bitter and salty taste that had tainted her mouth from his disgusting dish transfigured into something else less sensory and tangible. The bitterness of the burnt charcoaled meat turned into the bitterness of jealousy, which swam in the student's beady eyes throughout the lesson. The saltiness of the seasoning turned into the saltiness of his tears which had escaped his wide and fearful eyes at her actions and words.
'Since when did I start tasting people's emotions?'
Whatever the case. It didn't feel good. It made her sick. She had pushed the dish towards him and had ordered him to fix it up to her specifications. The class had looked on in confusion as they had expected her to fling the offending dish and let the plate shatter to pieces to reinforce its inferiority to her palate. For the next few dishes she had critiqued as normal and she looked at them right in the eyes as she chewed, tasted and swallowed. All of a sudden, the dishes had become more than just flavours and textures. She felt it transcended that. She could taste fear, jealousy, scorn, exhaustion, aggression and ruthlessness in each dish. Although each dish had different flavours and textures, all of them tasted like savagery. The first thing she visualised was Father's face.
She gave every dish back with her own hands.
The aftertaste was the thing that stumped her the most and it physically made her ill.
Pain.
In each dish, she felt pain, sorrow, sadness, grief, torment. She saw it in the way the students walked back to their stations. She saw it in their eyes as their eagerness for her appraisal died and went back to cook like drones, the way Father ingrained into them. Erina felt had powerless despite being the one holding the most power in the room. She had supervised them all, not letting the admin guy taking notes in the corner think otherwise. The lack of life in their motions as they perfectly julienned, as they expertly sautéed, and as they masterfully filleted their ingredients left her empty. Empty enough to draw in more pain as she tasted dish after dish.
Everything was painful and she hated it.
"Ah Nakiri-kun? Still here?"
Erina looked up in shock. She didn't hear the door slide. The days were getting much shorter and sun's dim red and orange glow was upon them so soon. She had to squint her eyes to see who it was and further surprised to see it was Isshiki-senpai standing by the door with a smile on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked closing the door and stepping towards her.
"Did Hisako send you?" she asked hoarsely.
"Yes, as a matter of fact. She is very worried about you. She said you weren't yourself today"
Ha! That was the understatement of the year. She had been constantly troubled by the uncertainty brewing in herself ever since she came back from her little runaway trip with Hisako, Alice and Kurokiba-kun. She found out that her elitism meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. She found out that Father murdered Mother. She found out her friend's futures were in peril. She found out that she had been in love of Yukihira-kun all along just to name a few of the highlights. So no, she wasn't feeling herself today, or would never again for any other day!
"Ah Nakiri-kun… please put the knife down?"
Erina threw him a confused look as Isshiki-kun held up his hands in surrender. Chuckling nervously under his breath. She looked at her hand and was shocked to find that a stray paring knife found it's way into her tight grip. She dropped it into the sink behind her and held her hands close to her chest. Urgh. She was so messed up in the inside.
"Sorry, Isshiki-senpai. I didn't mean to do that" she muttered, drawing her violet eyes away in shame.
"No don't be sorry. You're under immense stress"
Isshiki-senpai stepped to her side and leaned against the kitchen station next to her. He folded his arms and relaxed and sighing at the same time. Erina could tell he wasn't going anyway and was just waiting for her to spill her guts as if he was her therapist. Maybe she needed a therapist afterall. She noted in her mental to-do list to ask Hisako to search for a good one. Since Isshiki-senpai was here and he looked like somebody reasonable to confide in, she might as well.
"I'm tasting emotions in people's dishes now"
"Oh?"
"I know that sounds weird and I don't really understand it myself. It's as clear as saltiness, sweetness, sourness, bitterness and umami. And then the difference nuances in emotions are as variable as different flavours in the world. It's all too much and it just mixes up all over the place. I taste it in their dish and I see it in their eyes…"
"Which emotion do you taste the most?"
"Pain"
"I see"
It was like the whole school was hurting. She could feel it in her bones. Every day the brainwashed students marched to class, filled with propaganda until it was coming out their ears. The Rebel Alliance were restless against the tightening cuffs placed upon them, but they had no choice but to bide their time and play along with her Father's Administration until Isshiki-senpai executed the next step of the plan. The aurburn-haired ex-seventh seater crossed his ankles too as he dipped his head backwards, a contemplative expression graced his gentle face. Erina turned her eyes away towards the late afternoon sun. She squinted her eyes at the sting of the rays, but endevoured for she found something soothing in the bright red glow before it died out over the horizon.
"That's good"
"W-What?"
She spun around, eyes wide. Did he say what she thought he said? Erina shook her head and huffed. What made her think revealing her feelings to Isshiki-senpai was a good idea? Urgh! She really needed a bath right now or just go outside. Fresh aid and a fresh perspective should do the trick. She pushed off the kitchen station and crossed her arms under her bust. His nonchalance reminded her of a certain someone who was just as a effortlessly aggravating. She glared at Isshiki-senpai and his cryptic smile. Her plans for de-toxifying her rampant emotions evaporated at the sight of his still and relaxed form. Anger and confusion bubbled madly within her.
"W-What's so good about pain?!" she shouted.
"Pain is gift. Without the capacity for pain, we can't feel the hurt we inflict"
Erina startled and was slammed with incredulity. Once she got over how eerily calm he sounded, she slowly unfurled her arms and wrapped it around her middle. Rebuttal rose to her throat and then it disappeared, then she looked away sheepishly. She felt a twinge of regret for letting her emotions get the best of her. Silence descended upon them save the dripping of the tap in the large kitchen hall. The gravity of Isshiki-senpai's words sounded as soft as feathers, but when it hit her, it was a massive landslide. Pain. The pain she felt from the dishes stopped her from behaving so callously and cruelly, she realised. The sickening feeling, she identified with shame grew heavier in her stomach. So, that the reason why she couldn't lift the dish enough to throw it into their faces? She felt pain and didn't want to cause more of it. Once upon a time, that was something she would've done without a second thought and had even relish in it, to see those faces twisted in misery, realising they would never reach her level. Thinking about it gave her no such pleasure now.
Her world turned upside down once again.
"I hate it, it's messing with how I do things, I don't u-understand most of them! And-and-and what do I do with all this… this… pain!?"
"Shall I tell you where to put it? You hold onto it tight"
He uncrossed his arms, took her hand into his and squeezed them.
"You let it burn you, remember it and use it. You learn to see with the eyes of another. Learn to listen with the ears of another. Learn to feel with the heart of another"
Erina stared at their joined hands as if it was an alien, and then she looked up into Isshiki-senpai's warm and molten blue eyes.
"Then as a chef, you will taste the true face of the dish and that's a gift worth a thousand times more than the God's Tongue your Father gave you"
"I can't believe there was a lot I didn't know" yawned Ayame.
She threw the last pamphlet onto her coffee table and leaned back against Takumi-kun's shoulder. She pressed her back further and flopped her head to the side, to catch sight of his face as his brows dipped even lower. He was utterly engrossed in 'How to keep you and your partner safe'. He had his fingers poised on his chin and his blue eyes darted left to right. Not a word or so much as a strangled gulp escaped him as Ayame made herself more comfortable at his side. Takumi-kun didn't faint while reading which genuinely surprised her. A few times he might have shuddered, blanched, jaw dropped to the floor, blinked rapidly and gagged, but he kept ploughing through every single brochure. It got a point that Ayame suggested he take a break to digest everything he read, but he had said he was okay through gritted teeth and a tight smile.
There weren't any gross pictures in the pamphlets which was helpful she guessed, but the range of STD they talked about was utterly comprehensive and daresay, the written descriptions left their imaginations bleeding and feeling a tiny bit ill.
Finally, Takumi-kun closed his pamphlet and rested it against the table. He absentmindedly lifted his hand to stroke Ayame's hair as he directed his eyes to her living room ceiling, a fixed and contemplative expression on his face mixed with incomprehensible relief.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Ayame.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Why I'm an idiota for not doing this sooner" he groaned.
Ayame lifted herself up in the comfy couch and got onto her knees. She pressed them into the couch cushions and Takumi-kun fell slightly towards the dip as he turned his head towards her, looking at her with mild curiosity. She steadied her hand on the back of the couch as she reached forward and brushed the lock of golden blonde hair that always fell between his eyes.
"You're not an idiot. At least we did. That's what's matters, right?"
His eyes widened.
"Uno momento per favore. How did you know what idiota meant?"
"Isami-kun wrote me a list of Italian curse words for me to study" Ayame chirped.
"Merde—I mean! Urgh… drat…" Takumi-kun grunted.
Ayame chuckled and shook her head. Chances were, Takumi-kun wouldn't be saying that or anything else like it t in front of her anymore. Watching Takumi-kun struggled to keep his Italian all innocent and pure around her was going to be hilarious. For about a month she knew what some of the expletives Takumi-kun muttered in meant and just kept it to herself. Hey! Italian no matter what was being said was sexy. Obviously, nobody aside from Isami-kun knew because it was only Italian! But now she did and it felt like it was their little secret. Isami-kun was more than happy to write her a comprehensive list of the most common, as well as uncommon words and phrase combinations Takumi-kun used when he was frustrated or bollocking someone. It was surprising because Ayame had now realised that Takuim-kun swore under his breath an awful lot, especially in the kitchen. The whole time, she thought those Italian murmurs were just him thinking aloud about what he planned to do in the recipes. Sort of talking to himself, reciting or rehearsing things, she supposed. Who would've thought it was: 'Fuck it, that'll do', and not 'In we go', which she had initially assumed whenever he threw his ingredients in the pot. Takumi-kun never swore in Japanese. Ayame watched as his face turned read and he coughed into his hand.
"I know that one too" she smirked at him.
He whined and turned the other way.
"Do you also know what else I know?"
She wiggled her eyebrows as she leaned in closer. She placed her other hand on his knee and lowered her face towards his, letting her nose brush against his ear. She could feel the steam puffing from them as his face just got hotter and hotter. Finally, he twisted his head towards her and Ayame was once against trapped in his ice-blue gaze. His lips lowered as he breathed steadily against her face. His eyelids hooded ever so slightly and he slid his hands up her forearm, grasping tentatively at her elbows, a hint of uncertainty shadowing his gaze. Ayame started feeling hot at the collar too and her fingers tightened over his school pants, bunching the fabric up into her fingers.
"Vuoi parlare sporco?" He whispered.
She melted inside. Not fair… He was supposed to be all bashful when she was trying to be suggestive. Well, this was actually a whole lot better and Ayame was positively buzzing with excitement. As if Takumi-kun's voice could get any deeper than that! The husky cadence sent shivers up her spine and the roll of his tongue as he executed the perfect trills made her blood race. She had no idea what all those delightful words meant, but it sounded so sexy. He could be asking her what she had for breakfast this morning and she would still be a puddle at his feet, wanting and begging him some more to speak his mother tongue, preferably in her ear.
"Hmm… Yes?" she whispered back.
He chuckled and placed a swift peck on her lips.
"I'll make dinner first and we can continue later" he said.
Takumi-kun peeled himself from the couch. Ayame's hand still had a tight hold on his school pants and ended up dragging herself across the couch as he moved away, like a cat refusing to let go of the teaser toy. Takumi-kun shuffled a bit before disentangling her fingers from his clothes. He twisted around and tried to heft Ayame up himself by her elbows but she was adamant to be difficult and smiled cheekily as her boyfriend grunted under her mess of limbs. He finally tugged her upright on the couch. Ayame was about to be difficult again and flop over just to ruin all his hard work, but he beat her to it and braced his hands against the back of the couch on each side of her head and lowered his face down to her own, preventing her from being a tease. Ayame stifled a rebellious grin and pouted at him. His eyes glittered from under his fringe and his small smile did sinful things in her lower belly.
"What would you like for dinner, amore"
Ayame bit her lip. Takumi-kun retrieved his hand from beside her head and gently tugged her bottom lip from between her teeth with his thumb.
"Lasange"
"Come vuoi"
"Yes?" Ayame replied. She nipped at his thumb and gave her best smoulder, relishing in the way Takumi-kun gulped and his neck-muscles tensing and untensing before calming down again.
"I said 'As you wish'"
Meh. He could've been saying her hair was a bird's nest and she wouldn't have cared. Ayame surreptiously clamped her thighs together and twisted around, her fingers coming up to grasp his school tie. She laced her fingers in it and pulled Takumi-kun down for a full kiss. He hardly resisted and his lips molded over hers, not letting any air between them before he pulled back, torturously slow. It felt utterly perfect and it left her lips tingling. When Ayame opened her eyes, his were still closed as he just breathed against her cheeks. She felt the pressure leave behind her as he straightened himself up and raked his hand through his hair.
He gave her one last long look, his eyes not leaving her until the last second as he made his way to the kitchen.
Ayame's eyes trailed his form without blinking. She licked her puckered lips as she watched each of his movements like a hawk, from rolling his sleeves up, to brushing his fringe aside as he got to preparing. Ayame sighed long and hard, blowing a stray lock of hair from her face. She never got tired of watching his perfect behind crest into the air as he bent down to retrieve one of her stainless-steel pots from the cabinet under the sink. It was asking to be pinched. When Takumi-kun suggested they take some safe-sex pamphlets from Kurosaki Clinic last week, Ayame initially thought there was something wrong. That maybe it was a hint towards something conflicting within him. It worried her a lot. Truth be told, she never thought of reading up on any of this information since… well she had those classes before… So since never. As it turned out Takumi-kun had a bit of a 'selective-deafness' when it came to anything related to sex so in the end, it was a mighty good idea to refresh her knowledge and to perhaps clarify some of the little bit more abstract or confusing ones she had crumpled up and tucked into the bottom drawer of her mind, never to be seen again. Ayame felt it somehow brought them closer? It was an indescribable feeling. Awkward but at the same time, it felt right.
"What do you want for dolce?"
"Mhhmm?"
"Dessert. We went over this one before, mia cara" Takumi-kun threw her smile over his shoulder.
"I switch off when you explain it in Japanese. Japanese is boring. Italian is yum"
"That explains your drooling"
She could see him suppressing a smile over there, feigning focus and concentration.
Ayame scoffed at him and flounced back down into the couch cushions, rifling noisily through the pamphlets again. When it was just the two of them, sitting side by side, swapping pamphlets with each other and just silently reading, it was silent. Ayame admitted, she wasn't actually reading them, but was more focused on watching him read. The utter concentration and the flitter of confusion passing over his face was fascinating. Takumi-kun was certainly very into this (or forcing himself to be) and at the same time, she could tell every fibre of his body was protesting each physical turn of the page. It was upon that moment, she realised he was doing it for her! A few quick-fire questions, pokes and jabs at him was enough for him to confess why he was forcing himself to, in his own words: 'get a grip'. It was because he felt bad about making love to her without knowing what they were supposed to prepare for. It was probably the most endearing thing she'd ever heard him say and it filled her with joy.
He was the epitome of embarrassment from the way he was shaking impreceptively and his ears were pinking like mad, but he didn't hide his face from her. His eyes remained glued to the pamphlet as he tried to feign nonchalance. So Ayame thought it was best to save his dignity and continued reading while her heart was just doing the samba in her chest to the music of her appreciation for her boyfriend. If he was putting this much effort, then so should she.
They had held hands until they finished the last pamphlet.
"Can I come into the kitchen now?" Ayame called out.
"Will you stay away from the stove?" Takumi-kun called back.
"Awww… that's no fun"
Ayame lifted her hand up and inspected her sprained finger still in its splint with a forlorn expression. It was bitch changing the bandages after showering and she often had to shower earlier so that Takumi-kun had time to help her before he went home. She couldn't type or do any sort of coding anymore! That was the most painful part! She resorted to some charming one-hand typing but it took a million years. She was at least thankful it was her left hand and not her right.
Ayame twisted back around and crossed her arms over the back of the couch, nestling her chin in her arms as she continued to watch Takumi manipulate each cooking utensil like a master.
He was continuing to evolve in her eyes. It was the small things he did that spoke to her of his growing maturity. Why did it feel like she was learning more and more about Takumi-kun every day? She was pretty sure she went over this with Isami-kun before. Was she changing too? With that last thought in mind, Ayame bounced off the couch and immediately regretted it as the soreness in her legs intensified. Her knees shook as she steadied herself. When Ayame finally was back on two feet, she scooped up the pamphlets and went upstairs to deposit them on top of her messy desk.
"I should really clean up my room"
Ayame scanned around at the rumpled bedsheets, cluttred desk, over-flowing box of motherboards and the soldering kit she forgot to pack up. She shrugged, deciding she would call Chizuru-chan to come and help her. because she was the queen of keeping things annoyingly tidy. Ayame ambled over to her desk and found it was better to tuck it between two massive textbooks, rather than leaving it lying around for the world to see. Once she was satisfied with where she put it, she pattered downstairs.
Then it hit her like a welcomed gust.
"Oh, that smells so good!"
Ayame raced towards the kitchen island and parked herself in the closest available stool. The curt chop, chop, chop of the knife hitting the chopping board was soothing to her ears and soft bubbling of the béchamel sauce doing its magic under Takumi-kun's thorough supervision made her tastebuds already dance in her mouth. Ayame craned her head and saw the next pot over had some beef mince simmering away in passata. She was giddy and wasn't afraid to show it.
"Are you prepared, Ayame?" asked Takumi-kun.
Ayame perked up. Prepared for what? Dinner? She moved to go fetch the cutlery and plates until she stopped from the look in his downcast eyes and the nervous twitch in his eyes. Oh wait… no, he wasn't talking about dinner. The grim and taut line of his lips told her a different story. She lowered her gaze to her fingers, specifically the sprained one.
He was referring to Isshiki-senpai's final plan.
"Yeah. It's now do or die" she replied.
He didn't say any more.
Here they were. On the cusp of the most delicate and most dangerous operation of all. The Rebel Alliance had been planning this for months and Isshiki-san was confident that this would work and it would work only for the one time. If they failed in this final step. Every. Single. Student. Who was crusading against Azami would be expelled and there was nothing, anybody could do to save them. They knew that and were prepared. Yukihira-san, Megumi-san, Alice-san, Nakiri-san, Isami-kun Polar Star Dorm and the others. They knew the consequence but they remained undeterred, refusing to compromise. Their belief in their cause was steady as the ancient mountains, as bright as the burning stars and as unyielding as the oldest faith. They would never be truly free until the school broke from its bondages. As the weeks went by, Ayame was getting more restless. It was if she couldn't wait for the day to arrive and at the same time she wished it would never come. She kept thinking over the plan. Again, and again, and it wouldn't give her a night's proper rest. Was there anything else she could do? Was there a better method? What would further maximise their chances of success? Even her pop quizzes were small fry compared to this. She never told Takumi-kun that she was allowing Tootsuki's shadow to consume and pervade her every waking thought at night, because she knew he would start panicking and crank up his fussiness.
Ayame continued to keep her thoughts quiet.
They both knew what had to be done.
Brrrmmm… Brrrmmm… Brrrmmm
Ayame squinted her eyes and turned around.
"Otou-san's home early today?"
"I guess so"
"I need to get the tea ready!"
"Aspetta! Let me do it, your left hand is no better than your right"
Takumi-kun threw the wooden spoon back into the passata and swiped his hands through the tea towel. However, Ayame had already scampered off her stool and raced around the kitchen island for the large thermos. Every afternoon after school, she would always boil water for this very moment. The moment where Otou-san might come home early, in other words, the time he was supposed to and not in the middle of the night, or not at all. Since her dominant hand was out of action, Takumi-kun helped himself to the daily ritual. It didn't matter if Otou-san didn't come home in time, Ayame always made sure she had fresh boiling water for his tea. That was why she kept it in a large thermos. Takumi-kun beat her to it and picked out the right blend of tea. Otou-san was a fan of sencha. He would always keep it in the highest shelf of the cabinet simply because it was easy for him to reach and he wouldn't need to bend down. It got annoying for Ayame when she wanted to make tea for him… why couldn't he keep it down at normal eye level because clearly, hewasn't the only one who drank sencha! But no, he had to be twice as difficult. Whenever she made a point to move it somewhere reasonable, she would find it back up on the blasted highest shelf again.
'Insufferable man…'
Takumi-kun had a better time reaching for it, just propping up on the tips of his toe. Ayame watched him from the side as he poured the hot water into the cup and brewed the tea. The sound of the engine cutting off and the rattling of keys quickened her breath as she bounced on the balls of her feet. Finally, when Takumi-kun was done steeping the tea, it was the exact moment Otou-san noisily came through the door. She could hear the gentle clanking of his katana being set gently by the genkan as Otou-san took his shoes off.
"Welcome home!"
"Ah"
Ayame quickly shooed Takumi-kun away once he was done and carefully grabbed the tea cup with her good hand and the other supporting it, being careful not to burn herself or cause further injury to her finger as she shuffled through the living room towards Otou-san. He looked stressed out, tired and haggard. Basically, he looked normal. He remained sitting on the genkan steps as he yanked on his thin black tie. Wash the damn thing already! His brows were in the permanent glower and his lips were set in a thin line as he snorted in frustration. Oops. Bad day at work, it seemed.
Ayame leaned down and presented his cup of tea. Otou-san sighed and looked up at her with his cool, coal black eyes, his features softening a lot more. He took the cup from her with a nod and took a long slow sip. She watched in anticipation as his lashes fluttered shut and his whole body seemed to visibly relax now that he was home with his cup of tea.
"How's work?" asked Ayame, folding her hands behind her.
"Incredible. That new public prosecutor was a fucking waste of time. He's an epic fuck-up. He's so dense that light bends around him. He's like that stupid coffee machine in the homicide department. From bean to cup, he fucks up"
Ayame clutched her belly as she laughed. In between his policing duties, Otou-san obviously found time to brush up on his Einstein's theory of general relativity and space-time curvature, and putting his learning to good use when discussing the merits of a new member of the Ministry of Justice. So he did listen to her techno-babble after all!
"Is he making dinner again?" he grunted as he sniffed the air.
"Yep!"
Even though Otou-san never said Takumi-kun's name, it was a small victory that he even acknowledged his presence… and still let him in the house with her alone.
"If he's making that Italian-Japanese Frankenstein-fusion dish one more time, I'm throwing him out" he deadpanned.
"No, Otou-san" Ayame groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Thank fuck"
"He's making lasagne"
"Tch"
Ayame slapped him on the shoulder but he didn't budge or react which frustrated her further. Otou-san wasn't the biggest fan of European food. Hegot up and dusted himself off before grabbing his katana and brief case. He patted Ayame on the head and deposited the empty tea cup into her good hand, leaving her steaming and fuming at the bottom of the staircase as he trudged up.
"I have something for you" he said without looking back.
"What?"
He dangled a small plastic bag as he disappeared around the corner upstairs. Ayame was filled with giddy delight as she ran on the spot and clenched her good hands in a fist and shook them. Oh boy! Oh boy! He got her a new piece of police equipment for her to fix and tinker with! She felt like such a kid being rewarded with a brand-new toy. She didn't care and buzzed with utter excitement and joy like a sugar-high three-year-old. What's the point of being grown up if she couldn't be a little childish sometimes? She skipped back to the kitchen in time to see Takumi-kun placing the ceramic tray of lasagne in the oven. Ayame could hardly wait.
Despite his grating personality, she was so happy Otou-san came home for dinner.
Takumi-kun refilled the tea cup again in between cleaning up, knowing her Otou-san would appreciate another cup. She climbed back upstairs to find him in the master bedroom down the other end of the hall, but was surprised he wasn't there putting his unwashed tie back into the drawer.
'Eh? Where did he go?'
That was when she noticed her bedroom light was on.
Ayame slowly walked over being careful not to slosh the tea over and peeked in. Otou-san stood over her study table. One hand was holding the same plastic bag as before, and the other was holding…
…pamphlets…
Her stomach dropped.
He just stood there. Not moving a muscle except the tightening of his jaw. His eyes were narrowed so much that his eyebrows almost met in the middle. Uh oh She shrank into the shadows, hoping, praying, begging, that he hadn't noticed her. The thick silence was deafening and her wariness and nerves got the better of her. She knew what his ki felt like when his hackles were raised and it often felt suffocating. This felt a bit different. The aura around her policeman, and kendou master father was truly heavy, tasting of confusion and incredulity. His eyes were a blaze with fire and ice. He was not happy. He was always not happy with something, but this was huge and she could tell it wasn't the usual 'not happy'
Otou-san was NOT. HAPPY.
"What's this?"
Ayame 'eeped'. She crept over to the door jamb and poked her head through. Otou-san's eyes were still scorching the pamphlets as if it was a tainted evidence bag. His voice was full of sharp edges and was half a growl. Ayame fumbled and placed his tea cup on the biggest space available on her bookshelf and wrung her hands relentlessly.
"Umm…" Shit she was so thirsty! "Th-they're health brochures…" she said quietly.
"About having safe-sex"
"Uh… yes? It's normal to read those… E-Everyone reads them… Everyone should a-actually…" she lowered her head, not willing to look at Otou-san as her words kept tumbling out.
The slight cracking of knuckles as he gripped the plastic bag tighter made her flinch. Uh oh… Uh oh… how was she going to dig herself out of this one?! She wished Okaa-san was here! There was only one thing on Otou-san's mind right now and if she couldn't find a way to explain (lie about) the pamphlets to him before he shuts his ears and draws the final touches on his own conclusions, then there was no way to reason with him! Anything could happen!
"Only when they have a damn good reason to"
She heard the rustle of the plastic bag being hung on one of the hooks she nailed to her bedroom wall. Next came the soft thudding of his feet as they took step after step towards her. She kept her eyes trained on the carpet, shivering with a cold sweat. Otou-san's shadow enveloped her and the hair on her skin prickled and heightened to the point of her physically retreating on herself.
"I-It's not what you think—"
"You've been going out with him for half a year and you suddenly realise you better read these?" he placed the pamphlets back onto the table with eerie gentleness. This was like being in the eye of the storm and to Ayame, it was the worst feeling.
"…"
"You two planning to do it?"
"NO!"
"Already done it?"
"…"
Silence fell. Her lack of answer said everything Otou-san needed to know. The ticking of her alarm clocked echoed loudly, much like a time bomb. It consumed her attention as she desperately tried to work her brain to find a way out of this. Otou-san's presence continued to press down on her. Finally, he moved again… to place his hands on her shoulder. Ayame gulped, feeling the sting of her tears emerging. This disappointment was tangible. She slowly lifted her head, her hair had fallen across her face, the static electricity causing it to glue itself to her face. She peered through her fringe and only made it up to Otou-san's clavicle, apprehension stopping her from looking at his stern face. His hand was heavy on her shoulder. Slightly uncomfortable and she tensed her muscles.
"A-Are you going to tell me to b-break up w-with Takumi-kun?"
"I should"
Ayame's head flew up and her hair went everywhere. She couldn't believe her ears and she stared at Otou-san square in the eyes, hoping beyond hope find any hint of sarcasm and cruel intent. But his coal-black eyes only revealed a blank sheet of carbon steel. It pierced her as heavily as ever.
He removed his hand from her shoulder and dragged it across his face as he released a long and exhausting sigh. He closed his eyes as he let his hand sit on his face and the other brushed the opening of his trench coat from his hips and rested it upon it, just above where he would've holstered his katana. Ayame wanted to ask how he found out, but thought better of it. She wanted to ask why he never did anything about it as well, but once again she decided to keep silent for another time to ask. First and foremost, she had to explain her feelings for Otou-san. Make him understand even if nothing fruitful could come of it. She had to try. Honesty was the best policy.
"I-I love him Otou-san. It was just the one time! I know w-were only sixteen... I w-was on the pill anyway! We just… I. I wanted to and I-I… It felt r-right…"
Ayame dropped her head again and stared at the carpet, her words strained and crackled in its last-ditch attempt to come out clear but just died in her throat and she felt the resounding patheticalness and disappointment in herself carve into her being. Why couldn't she ever talk properly when it counted? Not even about something that was so important to her… Her fingers came together and she shifted her weight from on leg to the other. Her discomfort grew as she fought to exact the resolve to explain herself once more.
"Your Okaa-san and I did not raise our daughter to be careless or thoughtless. We did not raise her to be negligent, selfish, immoral or reckless"
Ayame felt each word slice through her skin, as if he was cutting her with his own blade. Each word echoed in her ear like death and she felt dizzy from the gravity of his words sinking into herself. The tears came pouring down her cheeks and she couldn't hold it back. She hiccupped and her voice box just throttled against the upheaval that threatened to burst out into wails as the certainty of unhappiness crashed down upon her. She didn't deserve the action of wiping away her tears as she let it fall before Otou-san.
"However"
The soft ruffle of thick fabric breached the misery cloaking her other senses as she barely registered Otou-san getting down on one knee before her. She closed her eyes. She felt something warm touch her chin and gently forced her head up and something warm again brushing feather light across her lashes, the cold streaking of tears smudging away.
"We did raise you to be a strong independent woman. We raised you to take care of your priorities, think smart and be clever. To be capable of making your own decisions and taking responsibility for your own actions. We raised you to deal with or live by the consequences you dealt for yourself. You picked out a boyfriend. You chose to sleep with him and every fucking day he's making a three-course dinner for you in our kitchen. That's your problem."
She eased her eyes open and was greeted by a tenderness and a dark humour in his deep, black eyes. He knelt before her, cupping her face in his hand as his thumb continued to brush away her torrenting tears. She didn't know what to think! She heard the words, but for the life of her couldn't process them! What did he mean by that?! He couldn't be saying all that! He was barely at home! He was absorbed with work every waking moment of his life! He barely even had time for her… But the look in his eyes was so different. There was a strange and out-of-place far away gaze to them, as if there was something in her he saw and had always known she had but she never realised for herself. It confused her, she didn't know what to feel.
"Are you… are you mad at h-him?"
"I don't give a fuck about him. My only concern is you and what you chose to do with yourself. He has his own parents to do all that for him"
Ayame swallowed her tears and cautiously rubbed her face into Otou-san's warm hands as he caressed her flushed cheeks. She trembled as elation and over-whelming relief slowly filled her aching heart, which was torn between her boyfriend and Otou-san. He gently pulled her by the waist until Ayame stumbled forward and she automatically slipped her arms around his middle. She hugged him tightly. The tickling scent of his waning aftershave and gun powder filled her with so much security, which she hadn't felt for a very long time. Otou-san rested his chin on her head as he smoothed his hand against her long hair. Ayame felt a fresh bout of tears coming out. What had she done in her life to deserve this man as her father! What had she done to deserve to have a wonderful and caring boyfriend as Takumi-kun? All she felt now was such gratitude and relief for the people she had in her life that were willing to support her through everything. She snuggled her nose into the collar of his trench coat. His muscles were hard against her from decades of training to be a fighter, which were now embracing her. Ayame clung to him. The man who shot his own dog because he loved him so much, the man who brought home police-issued robotic components to push and fuel her love for engineering. The man who sacrificed his family life to non-stop fight against the city's criminals, to keep his loved ones safe.
Her Takumi-kun and her Otou-san where the two greatest loves of her life.
"Everyone says: grow up, get a fucking job, get married, get a fucking house, have a kid and that's it. But the truth is, life is a lot more stranger and more fucking insane than that. Definitely fucking better than what 'everyone says'. Do what makes you happy and commit to it."
Otou-san peeled Ayame off of him without any effort, even when she wasn't ready to let him go yet. She was just reduced to sniffles and quivering lips. Her eyes ached and was so sensitive and puffy. She wiped the remaining tears with the heel of her palm as Otou-san swiped her fringe away.
"If CIA boy is good to you, treats you right, supports you, first and for most makes you happy, then I don't have a fucking problem with him. You do the same for him. You give and you take"
"He does... he makes me so happy. I can't imagine being with anyone else. When I'm with him, everything feels right. I just love him so m-much" Ayame hiccupped.
Otou-san stood up. His knees released a few cracks and he was back to towering over her again, only he wasn't over-bearing and ominous. Just tall and strong in her eyes. He shed his coat and draped it over his arm as he turned towards her door.
"This is your first relationship, Ayame. You're still growing and learning and so is he. Might as well grow and learn together. My job is to let my daughter learn. Even if she crashes and burn"
He picked up the tea cup from the shelf and strode out her door.
"Tell CIA boy not to go anywhere after dinner"
She watched, mesmerised as his pony-tail swayed out of her sight. She stood there, numb and frozen. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding. Her mind was too full of thoughts, she didn't even know which one she was thinking. She had no choice but to do a memory dump and retrieve it later to reflect on. Her foot stepped forward, one after the other until she found her self walking downstairs, he feet dragging itself closer to the living room until the kitchen. Takumi was placing glad wrap over another small oven dish. Inside was something creamy and was sprinkled with cocoa dust.
"Ah I was wondering when you'd come down. I've just quickly made tira—Eh?! What's wrong?!"
Takumi-kun ditched his second dish and sprinted to her side. She grabbed her and inspected her face. Ah her eyes were still swollen and bloodshot. Of course. Worry was etched into Takumi-kun's face as he blasted question after question about what was going on and if it had anything to do with her Otou-san. Had he done something? Had he said something? He ran his hand down her arms and rubbed them over and over, his face still marred with confusion, desperate to find out what was wrong. Ayame suddenly laughed.
"W-What's so funny?" Takumi-kun asked.
"Nothing. Everything is fine. Otou-san gave me some stuff from the precinct"
"And... it made you cry?"
Ayame shook her head, silently telling him that she didn't want to talk about it right now, not when she was still feeling raw from a storm of many emotions. Takumi-kun seemed to get the message, but she knew he wasn't going to let it go from the way he kept his eyes on her. Ayame admitted that she didn't exactly give the best impression of Otou-san just now. Going upstairs after him and coming back down after crying a river, so she didn't blame Takumi-kun for being suspicious.
"I'll tell you about it later" the smile came easily to her as she leaned forward and pecked him on the lips which surprised him and earned her a cute blush.
'Vorrrp!' 'Vorrrp!' 'Vorrrp!'
Ayame scooped up her phone from the dining table and checked her messages.
"Eh? It's from Isshiki-senpai!" she gasped.
Takumi-kun stilled his movements as he was in the middle of putting tonight's dessert into the fridge.
"What does he say?"
"He says… he's moved our plans forward... We're going to do it earlier"
"How early?"
"Tomorrow"
Well, didn't expect Superintendent Daddy to be like that eh? I'm thinking most of you guys were expecting he would pull his sword on Takumi and threaten to cut all his fingers off or something? :P (or maybe actually attempt to do it and make it look like a cooking accident...) Once again, there is more to Ayame's father than meets the eye. Perhaps he had another story behind his reason to say all those things to Ayame?
Erina and Isshiki had a PLATONIC moment here. Isshiki imparts from of his wisdom as a senpai and Erina is continuing to grow and change and I was rather happy for her :) Her God's Tongue gets an upgrade too! Yay!
Next chapter is the final chapter before the epilogue and author's note! I'm both excited and sad that the story is finally coming to a close... I'm going to cry with both sadness and happiness. My emotions are malfunctioning now...
Until next time! Stay warm and dry (for those in the southern hemisphere) and keep fresh and cool (for those in the northern hemisphere)! let me know what you think, I love to hear from all of you :)
Signing off
-TripWire-dono
