Welcome to another amazing episode of Total Drama Pokémon, where the drama is left on at 101% for 1% of the time. The rest of the time, there's really… no drama at all really!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own TDI or Pokémon, if I did, then I'd greenlight DarkAmpithere's 3 seasons for animating (with permission of course, I'm not ebul and moneygrubbing), they're that cool.
And as I always must say, I credit him for any references, which are probably going to get heavier as we go along. For reasons.
Episode 3: Run Away, So Far Away!
[\/\/]
Sentret running as fast as he could on the beach, trying desperately to catch up to Minun.
"Can't catch me~!" she sang as she jumped over a rock, leaving Sentret to comically plow right into it.
"Ow."
He shook it off the pain as best as he could. He stood back up, rubbing his face of dirt, and groaned when he saw Minun disappear behind the bushes bordering the beach.
"Okay, time-out. I cannot catch any of you!"
"You just gotta be creative." Mothim told him as he flew high, out of reach.
Sentret looked up at him, "I'm plenty creative, just not when it comes to things like tag. It's unfair that I'm slower then everyone once."
Mothim flew in closer, but not enough for Sentret to touch him.
"It's tag. It's never fair."
He looked to Minun, who was dancing around with Cubone triumphantly as she walked over herself. Mothim rolled his eyes at the sight while Sentret stared on befuddled.
"Besides, try convincing those two to bother playing fair."
Pancham walked up to the irritated ferret and simply held his hand out for him with a smile.
"Eh?" Sentret eyed the hand with curiosity when Pancham got closer, almost touching him, "You want me to tag you?"
Pancham silently nodded.
"But that's not really…" Sentret stopped, when Pancham feigned a laugh and tapped him, "If that's what you want Pancham."
"That's really nice of you." commented Mothim.
Pancham held up a note saying, 'It's totally fine. I warn you though, the next person I'm tagging is Cubone, so be ready to run.'
"Oh, I'm ready, as though one were the wind upon the plains. Just a sprinkle of dust in the wind." Pancham clapped, "Thank you."
"Pretty good for something on the whim." commented Mothim.
Cubone walked over, Minun in tow, "What're you guys doing?" she started twirling her bone around like a baton, "We're playing tag guys, not gossip hour!"
She paused.
"Unless it's adventure gossip!" she exclaimed, almost dropping her bone.
Pancham gave Sentret and Mothim a look. They both took off while Pancham walked up to Cubone and tapped her. He held up a note he pre-made simply stating, 'You're it.'
"Aawww…" she groaned. She saw Minun waking up and immediately tagged her, "You're it now!"
"Hey!" she turned to Pancham, only to see he had left already,
"Wha-How!?"
Turning back, Cubone was nowhere in sight.
"Aw man… it's no fun when everyone leaves…" she perked up, "Maybe I can find Raichu and play tag with him!"
She ran off towards camp, in hopes of finding Raichu, leaving everyone behind. The others came out as she left the beach.
"Seriously?" deadpanned Sentret.
Mothim chuckled, "Guess it's back to the laptop for me then."
[\/\/]
Cubone giggled, "Totally not obvious she's in love or anything."
[\/\/]
'I'm getting where I want, one step at a time. Maybe I'll win this way… being virtuous is certainly better than how I was before I came here.' wrote Pancham.
[\/\/]
"I'm faster, you sandy bitch!"
"Ya' little bastard, I'm clearly fasta' then you will eva' be!"
Mienfoo, Raichu, and Aggron watched as Chespin and Sandshrew argued in the large open field outside camp, a starting line haphazardly drawn by them, in front of them.
"You two ready or do you guys want to argue some more?" asked Duosion.
"I'm ready, don't know about her." said Chespin.
Sandshrew slapped him over the head, "I'm always ready ya' marmy bastard."
"Well, then… go." the psychic said, unamused. They took off, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake. Once it settled, he went over to Mienfoo, who was giggling.
"Those two are quite something, aren't they?"
Duosion scoffed, "They'll be the end of everyone as they know it if they keep up this shit."
"Let them argue, it's entertaining." responded Mienfoo, "This camp is boring any other way."
"You can say that again." chirped Phantump as he floated from the tree above them, a comic book in hand, "They act so high and mighty but they're no Gligarman versus Pulseman."
Mienfoo, Aggron, and Duosion just stared at him while Raichu stared at him, confused.
"Gligarman…? Versus… Pulseman?"
Phantump dropped the comic in hand, surprised.
"You don't know them!?" he picked it up and floated over to the Mouse Pokemon, "I have to show you them! They're amazing!"
Aggron groaned as the ghost rambled on and on right next to him.
Mienfoo spotted a dust cloud getting larger in the distance and poked Duosion.
"Looks like they're coming back."
Duosion looked over and saw they were already halfway through the field.
"Oh. That they are."
He floated over to the finish line and waited. They quickly crossed the line, bringing a large dust cloud with them. Once they both caught their breath, they marched over to him.
"Did I win!?" they both shouted, then staring at each, screaming, "YOU DEFINITELY DIDN'T!"
"It's a tie." revealed Duosion, "You're both equally quick. Now please, stop arguing for today and pick it up tomorrow."
Raichu snorted, "Sir, you're starting to sound like Helioptile, or worse, Galvantula."
"I'm not anywhere near either of them yet." he paused, "Wait a second…"
Duosion looked around for a moment, then cursed when he realized something important. He turned to the three nearby teammates.
"Where was Galvantula last challenge?!"
Raichu, Phantump, and Aggron all shrugged.
"I was escorting you sir." said Raichu.
Aggron sighed and grunted out, "Flygon."
"I dunno, I was with Ledian." said Phantump.
"Who?" everyone else asked.
"The red bug?"
"Oh."
The sounds of yelling nearby brought all attention to the quarrelling duo.
"Looks like they're finally going at it. I wish I had my phone…" said Phantump.
True to his word, Sandshrew and Chespin were rolling on the ground, punching each other. "Not again…" Mienfoo sighed and walked over to the duo to stop them.
[\/\/]
"Something tells me someone isn't pulling their weight." said Duosion.
[\/\/]
"I wish those two would just settle it once and for all instead of roping everyone into these silly competitions between the two of them." Mienfoo complained.
[\/\/]
"Get back here you imp asshole!"
Sableye dashed out of the bathrooms with a bunch of used party poppers in hand. Following him was a wet, confetti laden Hoopa.
"I'm gonna drown your ass if I catch you!" he threatened.
Sableye chuckled as he rounded a corner, yelling, "You're not catching me then!"
Hoopa rounded the corner only to slam into a bucket filled with rocks, knocking him out. Sableye came back, stood triumphantly over the co-host before drawing on him with a marker.
"Lovely day, ain't it genie. Gonna need some make-up for it." he said as he left Hoopa behind.
He arrived at the Flareon cabin's porch where Aipom, Sneasel, Buizel, Flygon, and Monferno were waiting at a table set-up to play poker. Aipom was currently face down on the table while Flygon was dusting off his section of the table.
"Sorry I took so long in the bathroom. There was a mess and…"
"Suuuuurrreee, there was mess." Buizel waved to the empty seat next to him, "Take a seat so we can get started. We're only playing two rounds but it'll be fun."
Aipom shot up in her seat. "Finally, I've been waiting so, so, so, long for this!"
"It was cool of you to invite us to play poker. Shame there ain't any real money or anything for grabs." said Sableye.
Monferno chuckled nervously, "I'd probably lose it all in the first round with my luck."
"No, you'd be unconscious, in the first round. You lose it all within the first minute." Sneasel corrected arrogantly.
"We'll see about that!" she shot back, "Deal the cards Flygon!"
Flygon sighed, "There's goes my organization… aww…"
He reluctantly dealt out the hands to each of them before setting down the deck.
"Erm…" he struggled to remember the rules before snapping his fingers, "Small blind is Sneasel, big is Monferno."
Monferno sighed and dropped two chips while Sneasel dropped one.
"Well…" Buizel said, snorting when placed down his cards, "I fold."
"Already?" said Sableye. He rapped the table, "Well, I'll check."
"Raise." Aipom dropped four chips, a smirk on her face, "I should say, poker is fun when there's no real money on the line. Less tension."
"Call." Sneasel said, dropping four chips as well, "I've only played once in school and that was because I was dared to. I won, naturally."
"Yeah, I can tell with that ego of yours." commented Monferno. Sneasel glared at her while pointing to the table, "Right… err… call?"
"Don't go killing each other now." warned Aipom.
Buizel nodded, "I deal with Sandshrew and Chespin enough, I don't want a second version."
"I'm fine, as long as," Sneasel pointed to Playful Pokémon next to her, "she keeps her mouth shut about me."
"Long as you do the same for me." offered Monferno.
Sneasel rolled her eyes, catching Aipom's look before she smiled and laughed.
"Agreed."
[\/\/]
"I honestly thought she would keep trying to antagonize her but I guess Sneasel is a bit more forgiving then she looks- though I suspect it has to do with Aipom being around." observed Buizel.
"Doesn't make her less a hassle to be around."
[\/\/]
"Aipom wins the round with a full house." announced Flygon.
"Oh, come on…" whined Monferno as she dismally dropped her cards, a two pair.
Aipom scooped up the entire pot of chips laid on the table.
"It's just a game Monferno, don't take it too seriously." she played with her chips, "Not like there's actual money on the line."
"If there was, I would pretty mad right now." admitted Sableye.
"Same." added Sneasel.
"Wow, that's the first time I've seen you two agree on something." observed Buizel.
Sneasel laughed, "Twice a day, a broken clock will strike twice."
"When's the second time then?" suggested Sableye.
"Eh, we'll see."
They all turned to Flygon still shuffling away with the cards.
"You done yet dude? We still have another round to play." said Aipom.
Flygon moved his shuffling under the table.
"Let me shuffle at my pace please."
"Faster would be nice." commented Sneasel.
Flygon blew his tongue out her uncharacteristically, to which she returned.
"Alright then…" Aipom sat back. She saw an opportunity and went for it, "Say since we're waiting, can I ask you guys something?"
Buizel leaned back in his chair as well, "Hmm? What is it?"
"Who do you think will make it to the merge?"
Everyone in the table gained thoughtful expression as they considered her question.
"If I had to say…" started Sneasel.
"Oh, here we go…" groaned Monferno.
TThe cat ignored the Playful Pokémon, "With no contest, Buizel would easily make it and I would rate him in the top ten of both teams so far. Sableye will too as long as he doesn't make Hoopa kick him out." she flashed a smile, "Top fifteen if you were curious."
"Hehee… no promises. I'm guilty forever to 'im!" he gloated.
Everyone laughed, letting up to let her continue, "Flygon… honestly, I don't know. Aipom and me… well, I think we'll make it just fine as well."
Monferno glanced at her with a frown on her face.
"What about me!?"
The cat put a claw to her cheek and smiled, "Didn't we just make an agreement about this?"
"Err..." Monferno struggled to make a decision before groaning, "Forget it, I wanna know where I stand in your book!"
"Alright then... dunno what's so special about my words..." Sneasel mumbled before flashing her a catty smile and put a claw to her chin, "It honestly all depends, you tend to get injured all the time and you never really contribute because of it. In fact, I noticed that you have a terrible lack of balance."
"Well, not everyone is born a cat like you!" she shot back.
"I'm not saying you aren't strong or anything, just that you're a liability to your team." she paused, then coughed, "Andyourself."
Monferno huffed and looked away with folded arms, refusing to speak further.
"Well, I think the same, but I think Monferno would easily make it. Same as Flygon." said Buizel.
"Same, though I suspect I have a target on my back because I lead the team." said Aipom.
"Well, if you refrain from dirty tricks, I don't think anyone else will mind." affirmed Flygon.
Sableye chuckled, "Dirty tricks? Sounds more like what'd I'd do ta' Hoopa than what Duosion would reso't to."
"Yeah, it's more something expected of Dark-types like me and gem eyes across from me. True or not." affirmed Sneasel.
Both Sneasel and Sableye looked to each and chuckled. It was quiet afterwards for a moment.
"Looks like that was the second time." pipped Sneasel.
They all sat quietly for a few more minutes, watching Flygon continue to shuffle the cards.
"Anytime you're ready, goggles?" asked Sableye.
He snorted, "I'm not done… I got to do it right and cleanly."
Everyone slammed their heads on the table.
[\/\/]
"That was slow but okay. I'd definitely do it again- beats getting hurt all the time." said Monferno.
Before she could leave, a lamp her fell on her.
"Ow… medic…"
[\/\/]
"I love poker. You make good friends, have some fun, earn some money. Well, not in this case, but the idea stands." counted out Aipom. Her smile grew into a smug smirk.
"Helps that this lets me scout for allies. I have my eyes on Flygon. Mothim too. They're both rather singular people and that means more a chance they'll accept my offer. I think I'll ask Mothim first."
[\/\/]
Noibat and Flaafy sat on Flaafy's bed as the Wool Pokémon taught her on a subject the bat had little experience in. Romance.
"While you may have heard it from girls in school and all that crap that boys should go first. I say that if you really like a guy, then you make the first move. That way, they know you like them." explained Flaafy.
"What if, what if… I can't do it?" Flaafy titled her head, confused, so Noibat continued, "What if, I'm shy and… shy?"
"Well then, take it slow. Be his friend first. Learn about him, and let him learn about you. Warm up to each other. Over time, you'll overcome that barrier and you'll either ask him, or he asks you." the Wool Pokémon giggled, "But when it comes times, what do you ask Noibat?"
"Do you love me, really love me!?"
Flaafy laughed "Hehehehe… that's a little strong of a question."
The door to the girls' side of the cabin opened with a slam, revealing an irritated Fraxure. She walked in, slamming the door shut with her tail. They watched her jump onto her bed and growl, arms crossed.
"Uh… Fraxure, what's up?" Flaafy asked nervously.
Fraxure snorted, hot air visibly coming out.
"Whimsicott hanging from the intercom."
The two looked at each other before Fraxure pointed out the window. They looked out window to see Spoink hauling Whimsicott down from the intercom.
"Oh. You were literal about it." said Flaafy.
Deciding to let the larger dragon be, she turned back to Noibat and cleared her throat.
"As I was saying, the way you worded that was far too strong. Don't scare anyone away by being too upfront. Try something like this: 'Listen, I want to know something, and be honest. Do you like me more than a friend'?"
"That's good, that's good." replied an impressed Noibat.
"You sure you're not being too soft?" Fraxure jumped off her bed and walked up to them, "I think being upfront is better. Gets the point across: 'Tell me, do you love me?' Doesn't that sound easier to say?"
"That sounds good, that sounds good to me." replied Noibat, wing to her move, "Both are good, really good."
Flaafy shrugged, "Pick whichever style you want. It's all advice and up to you to decide."
"Heh, if you want more romance advice though, I'm right here." offered Fraxure.
"Want bet~ter~ ad~vice~?" they all turned to see Whimsicott sitting in the open window, "Sing~ a~ so~ooong~, sere~nade~ him~!"
Fraxure grunted, "Singing is for wimps and weirdos! She needs to be upfront about everything- be the one in charge!"
"She needs~ to be sweet~ and kind~! Let him take~ care~ of her~!"
"She has to be strong!"
"Why not somewhere in between?" suggested Flaafy, "You know, like a normal person?"
"Nope~! It's no fun to be av~e~rage~!"
"Hell no! Staying normal's boring!"
Flaafy pinched her nose and groaned while Noibat slowly hid her face behind her wings.
[\/\/]
Noibat sat with a confused expression on her face, twiddling with her wingtips.
"I have… have no idea what's happened there, but it wasn't helpful. Not helpful at all."
[\/\/]
"What a terrible combo to have around. Of all the luck." complained Flaafy.
[\/\/]
Duosion and Raichu sat in the mess hall, ignoring Galvantula gulping down food as if it were going out of style, talking to each other.
"You want me to knock her down sir?" asked Raichu.
Duosion shook his head, "No, I want to force her to act. I want you to help me in the next challenge to do something that will cause her to get as angry as she did the last one."
"I can do that."
Raichu felt someone tap the top of his head and turned, ready to scold Galvantula, only to see Minun.
"Eh?"
"Tag! You're it!"
Duosion smiled as Minun danced around Raichu's seat, leaving the soldier visibly confused to what was going on.
"Uh… not right now Minun?"
She opened her mouth to reply but the intercom rang out, drowning her answer out. It was followed by an even louder Victini.
"CAMPERS, TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE! MEET ME AT THE DOCK!"
"Well, let's go Raichu. Remember the plan." said Duosion as he floated to the doors.
Raichu got up to follow but Minun jumped onto his back as he stood up, making him trip over his feet in shock. He almost fell to the ground as he struggled to regain balance.
"Ca-can you get off please!?" he nervously asked, his blush growing brighter. He got his footing and shouldered her better, "Please?"
"Nope~!"
He groaned and shook his head. He readjusted Minun and ran after the Cell Pokémon. Galvantula watched him leave with Minun holding on tightly, squealing in delight.
[\/\/]
"The most hardened of soldiers, defeated by a pint sized mouse." observed Galvantula.
[\/\/]
"Where's the host? The orange bastard needs to show up to his own challenges." Fraxure impatiently said.
"I'm sure he'll be here soon." said Chespin, his face wrapped in bandages.
"Dude, wh-what happened to you?" Aipom asked as she walked up, holding back laughter.
Chespin groaned and pointed at Sandshrew. She grinned triumphantly.
"Ah, so you bit off more than you could chew. Gotcha." said Sneasel.
"Seems like she's trying to bite a piece of everyone- that's far more than him." Monferno whispered to Buizel as she pointed at Sneasel. Said cat scoffed at the statement.
"Heard that."
"Don't care." Monferno shot back.
"Nice to see you all getting along so far! Such a kind atmosphere!"
Victini floated over with Hoopa and Jirachi in tow. Hoopa had a large bandage over the middle of his forehead.
"What happened to you, genie!? I thought you were a genius!" taunted Sableye.
"Rrr… just you wait." warned Hoopa.
"Okay you two, enough playing around for now. Right now, it's challenge time and this time, before you two ask," he pointed at Galvantula and Helioptile, "it's a physical one!"
"Oh joy…" whined Helioptile.
Galvantula scoffed, "Well, I know what I'll be doing."
"What, not actually doing anything?" quipped Duosion.
Galvantula shot him a dirty look nonetheless stayed silent.
"AHEM!" coughed Victini, "Continuing on… This challenge is a point to point foot race around the island, starting and ending here," he gestured to the dock, "at the dock. You MUST go through all the checkpoints to stay in the race, so no short-cuts or hanging at the campground for a few minutes and then coming back. My production team are watching all the cameras and I WILL know if you try to skirt your way around."
"Why would we? It's just a race." said Phantump.
"That's where you're wrong my dorky ghost!"
Fraxure huffed at him.
"I'm going to murder you in your sleep if say shit like that more often."
"Eep."
Victini clasped his hands together and smiled with joy.
"Yes, this race is quite special. There are three sections to it, all with different obstacles to overcome. Each were designed by the three of us but the hardest, and best, one is by me!"
"So no going around the obstacles or get disqualified?" clarified Spoink. Victini nodded. "Fun. I think I'm with Helioptile on this one."
"And why is that?" asked Sentret.
Spoink simple continued to bounce up and down, staring at him.
"Oh. That."
"No getting off racing- not unless you want to find out what happens if you stop by choice!"
"And what… what happens then?" asked a nervous Noibat.
Hoopa laughed for a moment before holding up something they all recognized- a pokeball. Most of the campers gasped in horror at the sight.
"Oh, hell no, I'm not getting in that! It'll ruin me!" said Glaceon in horror.
"No! No way!" screamed Monferno.
"On second thought, exercise is a great thing!" yelped a terrified Helioptile.
Pancham was the only one who wasn't panicking at the sight and was, in fact, confused by how everyone was reacting.
[\/\/]
'My parents home-schooled me and did teach me about those things. I don't know what everyone's so afraid of. Doesn't seem harmful.' the note Pancham held to the camera said.
[\/\/]
"I don't know how many people watching have experienced the inside of one of those things but…"
Mothim shuddered.
"It's one of those things that terrifies me to the core. The feeling inside it, of just… being in nothing. It's just… really freaky. Not to mention I've been in one... far too many times..."
[\/\/]
Hoopa teleported the offending item away and ordered everyone to line up at a white line that Jirachi quickly sprayed onto the dock.
Victini hovered in front of them all once more, "Before we begin, let me say that the course is easy, just follow the markers placed down! They look like this," Hoopa held up a white sign that had a plain red insignia of TDP and an arrow on it, "don't forget."
He teleported an air-horn into his hands.
"Ready?" he said, uncapping the noise maker.
"No." deadpanned Galvantula.
"GO!"
With a quick blow of the air-horn, the campers shot out of the dock and onto the beach, following the signs like the one Hoopa held.
Soon the procession of campers made it to the first section of three, observed by the sign in the shape of Hoopa's visage.
"What an egomaniac." said Sableye as he passed it, knocking off the top of it with his claws, "Much better."
"Watch it, how do we know that didn't actually give him brain damage. We don't want him that way." said Buizel.
"Can't damage wha' he neva' had. Hah!"
The two ran around a bend in the trail only for Sableye for the piece of the sign he knocked off bowl him over and lay him flat on the ground in pain. It came back to hit Buizel but a use of Water Gun broke it apart upon a tree. He walked over to Sableye and pulled him to his feet.
"You okay?"
"Fuck no." he spat out some dirt from his mouth, "And neither will that genie once we're done 'ere!"
[\/\/]
"It may be prudent to say I did that but I'd rather let him think that Hoopa did it. Keeps me from being targeted." confessed Duosion.
[\/\/]
"This is totally possible."
Spoink tried to hop out of the mud only to stay in place.
"Wait no, that's me lying. Hah. I love getting stuck." he said in an upset tone.
"You problem, you solve it." Sneasel said as she passed him by.
As it turned out, Hoopa's section looked more at home at a boot camp then a summer camp. A large portion of the course was a muddy road with the far end entrapped by razor wire followed by a rope climb and finished with climbing rings over a deep pit of water.
"You're doing better than others at least." revealed Mienfoo.
He looked around to see he wasn't alone as she said- Aggron was just as stuck in the mud as was Fraxure and, to everyone's delight, Glaceon.
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHH! THIS MUD IS RUINING MY FUR!" he screamed, trying desperately to get unstuck only to get more mud on him instead, "AAAAAHHHH!"
"Shut up." Ledian said, flinging a piece of mud into his face, silencing him, "Thank all the gods…"
"Thanks, red bug!" yelled Cubone as she ran past.
"…Ledian." she corrected.
Glaceon shook it off and shot her a look of pure animosity at her, only to receive more to the face from Phantump. The duo high-fived and left him behind to stew in anger.
"RRR… I'm-!"
He was cut off when Galvantula covered his mouth with webbing, permanently shutting him up.
"You're too loud." she said as she calmly walked past him.
[\/\/]
"Maybe I can convince Duosion to get them voted off. Or Galvantula… she's nothing but an ugly blemish to this team…" Glaceon thought to himself aloud as he groomed his fur with a comb.
[\/\/]
Aipom was struggling through the razor wire area, slowly crawling her way through. Right behind her was Sneasel and to her sides was Pancham, Mienfoo, and Sandshrew.
"This is silly, are we in boot camp or something!?" yelled Aipom in anger as she slipped and fell in to the mud.
"Feels like it." said Mienfoo as she struggled to keep crawling, "Is this what Raichu had to go through. If it is, count me out forever again when we're done."
Sandshrew crawled past the two of them, Pancham right behind her.
"Shoot, this is easy. Don't know what'cha you guys are complaining 'bout."
"Well you don't have to watch out and make sure every single one of your feathers don't get caught." said Sneasel as she gently unhooked her ear feather from the wire. "This is ridiculous. At this rate, I'm not going to any."
"Your problem, you solve it." stated Sandshrew, "Your words."
Sneasel chuckled as she forged ahead once more.
"Touché."
"Excuse me soldiers, you're slowing me down."
They all were pushed aside by Raichu as he quickly crawls past them all, Minun holding onto his tail with a smile on her face.
"Faster, faster!"
"Roger that!"
Aipom could only shake her head at the sight.
"Fucking hell. When can I get to do that?"
Raichu looked back to her and smirked.
"Go through basic like me and you can do anything! That's the Kanto spirit!"
[\/\/]
"Yeah, the spirit of broken dreams, getting yelled at, and sore body 24/7. How that guy did it, I'll never know." lamented Aipom.
[\/\/]
"Our drill sergeant was the meanest in Kanto. Had the worst reputation but was renowned for taken us recruits and forge us into warriors. Shame he retired months after I went through."
Raichu saluted, "I salute you Drill Sergeant Mewtwo!"
[\/\/]
"This is…" Sentret gulps, "…tall."
He looked around the area, taking a glance at the muddy zone behind him before looking back at the wall before him, easily ten times his height. There were four ropes hanging down for them to climb.
"Excuse me Sentret, you're in the way."
He turned to see Raichu with a serious look on his face, Minun latched onto his shoulders.
"Hey Sentret!"
"Uhh… hello you two." he stepped to the side when Raichu gave him a look, "You may go."
"Thanks."
Raichu tugged the rope a few times, testing the strength. The rope gave way slightly but didn't budge and was satisfied with what he found. He scrambled up the rope in record time, even with Minun in tow.
"Oh my..." quipped an amazed Duosion, then mumbling, "I picked a strong ally…"
"Fuck me." said a shocked Buizel.
Sableye rubbed his gems-for-eyes, "You can say that again…"
"Whoa, you made that look so easy!" Minun chirped as Raichu continued to the climbing rings, leaving everyone behind. A few of them followed, some with ease, such as Duosion Ledian, Phantump, and Flygon while others had a harder time.
Sentret stared up the wall before him and to the rope next to him, Aipom rushing up this one. He looked between the two multiple times before sighing in distress.
"How does one climb the insurmountable if he isn't strong enough to… ohhhh… fuck it. This is impossible."
"Need help?" asked Mienfoo as she walked up to him, cleaning the mud from her fur.
"I'd love it."
He walked up to the rope and stopped as he grabbed it.
"Wait…" he turned to the Martial Arts Pokémon, who was stretching.
"How are you going to help me, exactly? I think I'm heavier than you…"
Mienfoo smiled to him as she held up one of her hands.
"I have secret weapons," she revealed her hidden claws, "and they're quite useful for more than hurting people. I think Sneasel can attribute to that."
"Yeah... It's much faster than that shitty rope."
He looked up and saw Sneasel had already climbed halfway up, using the wall instead of the rope.
"So, you're saying you want me to hold onto you as you climb the wall itself?" he asked.
Mienfoo giggled, "Yeah. That's not too much for me, compared to using the rope."
"You learn something every day…" he said as he held onto her.
[\/\/]
"You know… I'm happy to be friends with Mienfoo. She's rather nice to be around and I think she feels the same way- the fact I don't fantasize days out with her helps." said Sentret.
[\/\/]
Monferno groaned loud and clear, venting her frustration to nearby campers.
"There's silly, then there's absolutely ridiculous. We've passed into the second one by far too much."
"A maze isn't that bad?" reassured Ledian.
"It's not ridiculous, it's an adventure!" cheered Cubone, ignoring the ladybird.
Chespin chuckled, "Better than a fucking mud crawl."
The second section, designed by Jirachi as noted by the sign in the visage of her head, is a large maze at the foot of the island's mountain. Said maze was made of high rock walls instead of the typical low hedge to dissuade the campers from jumping them and had varying elevation.
"Yeah but being lost is not what I consider fun." the primate gestured around, "And we're all lost!"
"Calm down, I'm sure we can all find a way out of here!" Cubone turned to Galvantula, "Right Galvan…" she saw the spider was asleep, "…tula."
"Where's Hoopa and that pokeball he had?" jokingly asked Chespin, "Got a good target deserving it right there."
As if by magic, a pokeball came from the sky and tapped the spider on her head. She didn't fight it as it sucked her in.
"Well shit, there it is."
Monferno rolled her eyes, "Okay, but that doesn't solve the 'get us out of here' part."
Cubone jabbed her bone club into the rock edifice and to her delight, it stuck in well. She pulled it out and ran to the rest of the group.
"I got it! I'll climb up using my club! It'll be the best part of this adventure!"
The rest of the small group looked to each other and all shrugged in response.
"Go for it. What's the worst that could happen?" asked Monferno.
"Well…" Cubone interrupted Ledian by loudly jamming her club into the rock wall.
Cubone got halfway up the wall, impressing them all. It was then that Ledian realized what lay atop the wall.
"Umm… guys…?"
"Almost there!" yelled Cubone.
"Don't fall, I'm not catching you." advised Chespin.
Ledian started to back up, "Guys…"
"One… more… time!" Cubone said, getting ready to jam her club in once more, not realizing that the top held a boulder twice her size.
"ARE YOU THREE LISTENING TO ME!?"
"What the…!?" asked Monferno, turning around, "What's wrong…? Who are you again…?"
Ledian groaned and did nothing but point up to the boulder that Cubone jabbed her club under, loosening it. It immediately tumbled to the ground, missing Cubone herself by centimeters. Chespin immediately dove out of the way as it fell.
"Monferno!" he shouted.
Monferno wasn't as lucky.
"…oh no."
The boulder smashed right into her head, knocking the unlucky monkey out cold.
"Monferno!" yelled Chespin as he went up to the unconscious Monferno. He could see she was okay but probably needed rest now.
"Look what you did Cubone!" he yelled up to the Lonely Pokémon.
Cubone looked down to see Monferno splayed out, unconscious. She scratched her and let out a nervous laugh.
"O… oops?"
Ledian let out a sigh and covered her face in exasperation.
"At least she's on the other team..."
[\/\/]
"Should I count myself lucky or unlucky if the only person to notice me consistently is Phantump… and on occasions, assfa-Glaceon?" ranted Ledian.
[\/\/]
"Sometimes, my adventure's hurt people but that's part of the fun! Pain is an adventure of its own!" cheered Cubone.
[\/\/]
Mothim flew around a corner and bumped straight into something bright purple. Righting himself on the ground, he saw it was Noibat.
"Oh, sorry Noibat. Didn't mean to run into you."
"It's okay, it's okay!"
Mothim took off and started to fly away when Noibat got in his way.
"Noibat, if you're trying to stop me, it isn't going to work." he said, unamused.
"No, no, no, no! I wanna stay with you… And… and… talk?"
"It's a race, Noibat. I'm sure I'd get some serious flack with my team if I let someone from the other team play tag-along."
"But… I just wanna talk, talk." she pleaded, "That's not, not too bad, bad?"
Mothim contemplated for only a moment. A large explosion went off in the distance, scaring the bat into hiding behind a rock.
"I feel that has something to do with Sableye and Hoopa. And I hope they don't come this way…" he muttered. He looked around realizing that Noibat was missing, "Noibat?"
He found her cowering behind one of the rocks in the path.
"You… okay?"
"Loud noise, loud… scary noise… sc-scary…" she mumbled in fear.
Mothim looked on at her trembling form, covering her face with her wings in fear. He could only describe it as cute, and when a smaller explosion happened close-by, it caused her to uncover her eyes by accident, giving the moth a full view.
Mothim could faintly hear Hoopa screaming something, most likely words of anger at Sableye but he ignored them.
"Hey Noibat. You can stay with me."
The bat uncovered her face and looked at him with "Wh… Really? Really?"
"Yeah, really. When someone's scared, they need someone there." he smiled, "I'm here."
Noibat blushed and flew up to him.
"Thanks."
[\/\/]
"Okay, so if I count correctly, I have a few friends- Pancham and Sentret are the ones I align the best with. But Noibat is different."
Mothim coughed and looked away from the camera.
"Her eyes… they're quite… cute."
[\/\/]
Noibat was squealing in glee as she flapped about the booth.
[\/\/]
Helioptile and Whimsicott walked into one of the many dead ends riddling the massive maze, but not by accident. Helioptile looked around, listening for anyone having followed and once satisfied, gestured for Whimsicott to give her something.
"My notepad Whimsicott."
Whimsicott pulled it out of her cotton and handed it to the reptile. She ripped out a page from it and scanned it, making sure it was to her liking.
"Is it good!?" Whimsicott cheerily asked.
Handing it over to Whimsicott, she smiled.
"Handwriting is impossible to pin on anyone… it's perfect. Give it to Flaafy but don't get caught or seen, not even a glimpse."
"Got~ it~!"
"Please take this seriously, instead of playfully." ordered Helioptile.
Whimsicott ignored her and dashed out of sight, humming a tune to herself. Helioptile just shook her head and groaned in irritation.
"I really hope she doesn't screw this up…"
[\/\/]
Flaafy walked behind Mienfoo and Sandshrew, gradually falling behind. Mienfoo turned around to see Flaafy farther behind than minutes ago.
"You okay Flaafy?"
"I'm fine but I guess all that running and crawling is getting to me. I need to stop for a minute." she said, sitting on a rock, "I'm not exactly the physical type."
"You and so many others." joked Sandshrew.
Flaafy waved to her with a laugh, "Go on ahead you two. I'll go ahead when I'm ready. I can handle a little maze on my own."
"That's what ya' want then I won't say no." said Sandshrew.
Flaafy watched the two walk on, taking a left at the next intersection. From the yells she heard, she knew they meet up with Phantump. Seconds later, she watched the ghost fly down a different path, Sandshrew chasing after him in anger.
"Don't know what he did but it must've been silly." she told herself.
After stretching for a few minutes, she felt ready to leave and got up. The second she did, a note blew right into her face from a light breeze.
"Really?" she unfurled the note and reeled, "What the…!?"
'If you wish to keep you and your diary safe and sound, reply to this message on the back of this note by midnight. Leave it taped to the red crate on the dock. You may ask only one question. Your answer may vary.'
She looked around but saw and heard no one in the vicinity. She quickly folded the note up and after looking around to make sure no one was around, hid it in her wool.
[\/\/]
"I don't know who gave me this, but I'm not pleased. Means someone's been poking through my stuff and if I find out…" Flaafy slammed her fist into the wall, "Then I'm gonna make Fraxure quite jealous."
[\/\/]
"I'm more than pleased, merely by the fact that Whimsicott didn't screw it all up." said Helioptile.
She turned a page in the book she was reading.
"And thank goodness. I'm not a fighter by any means."
[\/\/]
Fraxure looked at the walls surrounding her and let out a loud roar of anger. Another dead end.
"FUCK MAZES!"
Fraxure winded up to punch the wall but stopped and looked up. She looked at her hands and back to the wall.
"Heh, fuck punching shit though. Climbing is easy shit."
She climbed to the top of the wall and looked around for the exit. A minute of scanning the entire maze brought her attention to a freight elevator in the distance.
"Jackpot!"
She ran across the wall and made it halfway there when an unseen force suddenly shoved off the wall down to the corridors below.
"Woah, fuck!"
Below, Phantump was catching his breath from his dash away from Sandshrew.
"Who knew going through people would freak them out…"
As the light dimmed, he looked up in time to see Fraxure falling on him. He managed a quiet "Oh fuck." as she fell on him.
[\/\/]
"You heard that sir?" Raichu said, ears perked, "What was that noise?"
Duosion chuckled, "Nothing. Probably just a heavy rock falling on a small one."
"Are you sure? Because I surely heard someone screaming just a moment ago. Sounded like it was Fraxure…"
Duosion shook his head and waved his concerns away with a gloppy hand.
"No, that's just the wind. Her yells sound like it because we ignore them all the time. Now let's get a move on before we fall too far behind."
Raichu sighed and pressed on behind Duosion while Minun titled her head confused.
"But it's not windy at all..."
[\/\/]
"If I find out who fucking pushed me off, I'm fucking ripping them to pieces and then their pieces to pieces! Then I'll make origami out of whatever's fucking left!" roared Fraxure.
She paused.
"You didn't hear that last part."
[\/\/]
At the bottom of the elevator shaft, Flaafy pressed the button to open the doors only for nothing to happen.
"Eh?" she pressed it again, "Oh, don't fucking tell me…"
"What's wrong?" Spoink asked as he bounced up to her.
"The doors won't open."
"For you maybe." bragged Glaceon as he also walked up, "Watch as the amazingly handsome Glaceon open this door. You will be in-"
Flaafy wasted no time electrocuting the eeveelution, frying him to a crisp and knocking him out.
Spoink ignored the fried Glaceon, bouncing over him, and went over to the door. He observed it from all angles before mentally forcing the doors open, only to reveal nothing but wires and a dark, empty, elevator shaft.
"There's no elevator!" Flaafy shouted. She watched the wires for a moment and saw they were actually moving slowly, "Wait a second…"
Flaafy backed up and looked up to see the elevator near the top.
"Fuck."
Spoink hummed for a moment before backing up.
"I think I have a way around this. Put your hand on my pearl- but no grabbing!"
"Right…"
Flaafy carefully placed her hand on the bright pink pearl atop the pig's head. He focused hard and in a moment's notice, they were on the top of the mountain, ahead of the other group.
"Holy crap, I feel like shit…" groaned Flaafy.
Spoink laughed at the sight of the sick sheep.
"We're here, aren't we?"
"I know… urp… but teleporting is not my thing… aahh…"
"Let's go before they get here." recommended Spoink. He looked to see the signs all pointing down a steep slope.
"On second thought, how about you carry me down?"
Flaafy held her hand to her mouth.
"In… urp… in a few minutes… gulp…"
[\/\/]
"Teleporting isn't for everyone I guess." commented Spoink.
[\/\/]
Minutes later, the elevator doors opened to reveal a small shelter with skis and snowboards attached to the back wall.
"Well…" Mienfoo observed the signs pointing to a steep slope nearby, "It looks like they want us to ski down."
Sneasel quickly grabbed a board for her size and walked over. She shrugged with a smirk on her face.
"Well, see you all at the bottom when I win!" she sneered as she jumped down and began to ski down.
"Not if I win instead! Get back 'ere!" yelled Sandshrew as she chased after her. Cubone, Sentret, Pancham, and Nidorina quickly followed behind.
Chespin tried to follow only to fall over and face plant into the snow. He rolled over and spat out some snow.
"Damn it."
"Wish I was able to just slide down on my own feet…" complained Monferno as she struggled to put on a snowboard, "Fit damn it!"
"Need help?" offered Sableye as he waddled up to her with skis in hand.
"No…" she tugged at the latch, struggling to get her foot in. She groaned loud and gave up. "Yes…"
"I hope this won't be too hard." Aipom said as she walked up to the slope. Ledian and Flygon both flew past her, almost knocking her over, "Oi!"
"Sorry." apologized Flygon. "See you at the bottom."
"I feel left behind." whined Aipom.
"You and me both." said Chespin as he struggled to stay upright on his skis, "Why the fuck is this the last section?"
Aipom eyed the sign in the shape of Victini next to the shelter.
"He said, 'the hardest' one is his, and skiing and snowboarding are hard…"
"Yeah, to learn!"
Buizel slid over on a snowboard, Mienfoo in tow.
"Eh, it's not that hard. It's all about balance…" he turned to Mienfoo, "Uhh… right Mienfoo?"
"Yeah!"
She leaned into Aipom.
"Never skied before." she whispered.
"Same." she took off down the slope, "See you guys at the bottom!"
"Let's go Buizel." she said to the otter, "Monferno you coming? We're in a race you know!"
"Wait… wait for me!" the larger monkey yelled, flailing immensely in a struggle to keep balance, only to face-plant into the snow.
Everyone face-palmed.
[\/\/]
Monferno huffed in anger.
"Okay so the cat's right, I've never been good at balancing! Sue me!"
[\/\/]
As the first group left, Duosion, along with Raichu and Minun, teleported just above the snow and plopped down softly, in Minun's case, slide onto it.
"Snow~!"
"Seems the group that took the elevator just left." observed Duosion.
Raichu walked over to the slope and peered down.
"Hey, some of the Jolteon's are going down. We can stike them sir."
"Excellent. Let's get going."
Minun peeked over the side by herself
"Aipom's going down too~. She looks sooo~ awe~some~!" chirped Minun.
Duosion smiled.
[\/\/]
"HEY SNEASEL!"
The Dark-type looked to her right to see Aipom alongside on her on snowboard.
"Oh, hey Aipom."
"THIS IS SO~ AWESOME!"
"I guess. I've done it a lot before." they dodged a few trees and jumped over a hump, "Not too amazing I guess."
"WHEN'D YOU DO THIS BEFORE!?"
"My hometown. I'm from eastern Johto. It's pretty mountainous and all..." she smiled as she did a twirl, crossing Aipom's path and getting on her right side, "I'll show you a few pictures later."
"COOL!"
As they continued down the slope, they failed to notice the Knights, minus Glaceon, gaining on the large group. Going over a jump, Monferno fell into the snow in front of them while a quick use of Thunderbolt and Psyshock smushed Buizel and Mienfoo into the snow.
It wasn't long until they reached the two in front.
Before Aipom could react, Duosion pushed her away and into the trees.
"HOLY FUCK!" she screamed as she barreled right into one.
Duosion smirked and started to laugh only for Sneasel to smash him into the snow courtesy of her signature Beat Down.
"Tch, and he's supposed to be the smart-"
She stopped when a Thunderbolt hit the ground in front of her, creating a snow explosion. She barely dodged the powder but had to slow down to avoid taking a tumble.
"Not funny." she turned back to see Raichu and Minun, "Learn to aim!"
"Surrender!" yelled Raichu.
"Do as he said please~!" added Minun.
She rolled her eyes, "Surrender my ass."
The Sharp Claw Pokemon looked back ahead to see another jump coming up. She charged up an Ice Beam and let loose as she jumped off, leaving behind a low barrier of ice at the end of the slope for them to stumble over.
Raichu's could only gasp at the new addition to the ramp ahead, leaving Minun to let out a quiet, "Uh oh."
The cat watched them slam into the low wall, causing the pair to tumble over the edge and into a snowdrift.
"Hahahahaa-"
Only for her to slam into a rock.
[\/\/]
Sneasel sat in the booth, her arm in a sling.
"I deserved that."
[\/\/]
"That blob wants war? I wasn't ready but if he is, then I'll play war!" yelled Aipom.
[\/\/]
Phantump, his stump mask bandaged up, looked down at the slope below him in concern.
"That looks so cool but so dangerous." he hummed in thought, "What to do, what to do."
Fraxure shoved him out of the way.
"Stay out of the way dweeb! I have a race to win!"
He watched her jump onto the snowboard and race out of sight. He looked down to his wispy black tail and back over to the skiing equipment nearby.
[\/\/]
"Sometimes, it's a real bummer to be a ghost. Yeah, there's so much cool stuff to do, you technically never die, get to phase through things…"
Phantump looked down at his lack of legs,
"Though the lack of actual legs may be a big negative."
[\/\/]
"Screw it! I'll just float down! How hard could that be?"
Phantump floated down the slope as fast as he could, which was far slower than the front of the pack easily managed. He watched Helioptile sit on her snowboard past him with Whimsicott sledding right behind her.
"Ah come on… this is so unfair. Uh…" he looked around and saw a ramp nearby, "That could help!"
Deciding to slide down the mountain, he lined himself up for the ramp and rode his way off, only to tumble down below where Raichu and Minun had landed. Unlike them, however, he screamed the entire way down.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
POOF!
He slammed into the snowbank with enough force to dislodge some of the snow. He popped out to see he was fine and that he was unhurt from the fall.
"Oh, thank all th-"
Before he could finish, an avalanche of snow fell on top of the ghost, swallowing him whole as it rushed down the mountain with incredible speed. It swallowed those who were straggling behind the rest.
"Well, this is going to be cold." lamented Helioptile as the snow closed in, having taken Whimsicott already.
Monferno was barely going forward when the she heard something behind her.
"I hear rumbling… what is that?"
She turned around to see the oncoming avalanche. She went white from the sight of all the flowing powder.
"Oh fuck."
The snow quickly swallowed her, as well as everyone in front of her, from a still fighting Duosion and Aipom to an unsuspecting Flaafy carrying Spoink. They were all in on a ride they can't escape, straight down the mountain and towards the beach.
[\/\/]
Victini and Jirachi, who were having fun looking through a magazine, along with a heavily bandaged Hoopa, were at the dock, waiting for the campers to finish.
"Ooo… look at this set! It's perfect, don't you think!?" Jirachi pointed out.
"Yeah, it looks nice… wait…" Victini went white at the sight of the price. "Tw-two thousand poke!?"
"That's actually cheap furniture wise. It'll fit well in our place." she replied.
"B-but… s-seven t-thousand…"
Hoopa let out audible groan, catching their attention. Jirachi turned to him while Victini stayed frozen white, muttering the price over and over.
"What's wrong Hoops?" asked Jirachi.
"It's been almost an hour. How could it take this long to finish a race?" demanded Hoopa.
Victini shook away his nerves and looked up at him, "Considering the second part is maze, I expected them to take more time than usual."
"It was the best I could think of, sorry if it extended the race by a lot." admitted Jirachi.
"It's fine babe. It's still a good addition. I can't imagine how much trouble they've all gotten into at this point. Hopefully, a good few of them suffered some injuries and such. Maybe something really bad happens to them- would make for good footage."
Hoopa looked over the beach. His jaw dropped at the sight of all the falling snow.
"How 'bout an avalanche then?"
Victini paused and looked up.
"Wait… what?"
Jirachi looked up as well to see the mass of snow thundering towards them at the dock. Just before it hit the water, the snow exploded in a mass of white powder, depositing the campers just before the dock.
"Well… that certainly answers the 'where are they' question." said Victini.
Under Fraxure, moaned Phantump, "Ow… my everything…"
"I need a doctor…" whined Sentret.
"I wa-wa-wahn hot co-co-cocoa." requested a shivering Sandshrew.
"There's snow everywhere! Aaaaaaaaaa-" Flygon's scream was cut off by a snowball to his face.
"Quiet down janitor." said Duosion.
"That was a hoot." Sneasel said as she stood up, holding her arm in pain, "And painful."
"Hey, isn't that the dock over there?" observed Spoink.
They all noticed the dock a short distance down the beach, with Victini, Hoopa, and Jirachi waiting with a flag in hand to finish the race.
Aipom jumped up and ran off. "Well, it was fun waiting! Gotta go win now!"
"Hey, wait a sec!" yelled Buizel as he ran off after her, Mienfoo and Sableye in tow.
"Let's go!" Minun said, climbing onto Raichu once more.
Raichu collapsed on the ground, exhausted.
"Can't… go on…"
"Aww…"
"Out of the way Aipom, I got this!" Chespin shouted as ran past her, only for Sandshrew to tackle him.
"No ya-ya… ya fuckin' don't!" she challenged, still cold. She got kicked off him by Pancham, who picked him up.
"Thanks dude!"
Pancham just gave him thumbs up as he ran beside him. Sneasel ran past the two of them, almost running into them, trying to catch up to Aipom.
"Run faster!"
Pancham rolled his eyes and shook his head.
[\/\/]
'I wonder how she flips from being somewhat okay to being an asshole so easily.' wrote Pancham.
[\/\/]
Aipom and Buizel made it to the dock, side by side. They both crossed the line at the same moment.
Both leaned against the dock bannister to catch their breath for only a short moment. Afterwards, they both yelled, "Who won!?"
The rest of the campers came in behind them, asking the same question. Victini floated over, a smile on his face and a radio in his hand.
"Well, from what I've seen, this has been quite the race. Highly entertaining in all sorts of ways: watching you all get stuck in mud, frustrated by a maze, and get caught in an avalanche!" counted Victini with a laugh, "Awesome if I say so myself."
"Can you just tell us who won?" demanded Helioptile, still visibly shaking.
"Well my frozen lizard, that's the best part about this whole mad dash to the finish!" he held up his radio for them to see, "According to my underlings, none of you finished properly- meaning none of you came first, second, and so forth!"
"Wait a fucking second! I'm fucking certain I just crossed that line!" roared Fraxure.
"Same here dude! I should've won!" agreed Aipom.
"I'm sure it was me for sure." said Buizel.
"Well, sorry to bring such great news but as it turns out, you all passed every checkpoint but one on the way down!" revealed Victini.
"We were in a fucking avalanche! What did you want us to do!?" shouted Sneasel.
Victini scoffed nonchalantly, "Well now, that's not my problem. Rules are rules and one of them was that to finish and place, you had to go through every checkpoint."
Flaafy scoffed, "You didn't even bother to tell us what the checkpoints were in the first place."
"Oh, they were the signs at the start and end of each section. Everyone skipped the one marking the end of my amazing section!"
"Well, that's just great… what do we do now then?" asked Sableye.
Victini clapped his hands together and beamed a pleased expression.
"You wait!"
"What!? We can't go back and finish!?" asked Cubone.
"You all still technically finished the race, but didn't place. No going back once you cross that line." bellowed Hoopa.
"Well I should, if it's your word." said Sableye.
"Don't even try imp."
"So why are we waiting then? Aren't we all here?" Whimsicott said, looking around. "Even that red bug is here!"
"Ledian."
"Yeah, you!"
[\/\/]
"I've went to being somewhat noticed to red… bug… I'M LE-DI-AN." the red bug punched the wall in anger.
"I'm not fucking happy."
[\/\/]
"Well, it seems that Aggron's a stick in the mud now, so he's disqualified! But it seems Noibat and Mothim are still out there." Victini pulled out a pokeball, "Oh, and Galvantula is in here."
"Keep her there, please. She's more useful when she's not around." said Duosion.
"I agree with him- she's a real layabout." said Sneasel.
Sandshrew snuck up to Chespin and before he could react, she shoved him off the dock.
"REAL FUCKING FUNNY BITCH!"
"What's going on, going on?"
Flaafy turned to see Noibat flapping her way over, Mothim in tow.
"Chespin's taking a swim is all. Nothing special." responded Flaafy, ignoring Chespin pulling in Sandshrew.
The sheep then did a double take when she realized who she was speaking to.
"Wait, Noibat, you're here!"
Everyone else turned to see the bat flapping away above the dock.
"Yeah, I am, I am."
"And that means you got first place Noibat!"
Noibat jumped, almost falling to the ground. She turned to see Victini floating where she was.
"What, what!?"
"Yup! The Jolteons win by default!"
The Jolteons looked at each other surprised, too much in shock to cheer while the Flareons were audibly displeased.
"Now, now, you guys won twice already. Don't get throw tantrums because you now lost!"
"Yeah, because of bullshit." complained Chespin.
"Well, I'll meet the Flareons at the campfire ceremony later tonight! Have fun deciding who's going home!"
Victini and Jirachi flew away while Hoopa opened a portal and went through it.
"Well this isn't fun~" whined Minun.
Cubone pat her on the back.
"Don't worry! It can't get worse!"
They looked around but nothing happened.
"Aw… that usually works and makes things interesting…" whined Cubone.
Duosion and Raichu watched Aipom and Sneasel walk away talking to each other.
"Well. The time to strike is now and the best way to do so is to cut off her potential allies."
Duosion watched Mothim flit from the cabins to the bathrooms, only to be stopped by Aipom.
"And I know who we'll have to strike first." he turned to Raichu. "Try and convince the others to vote for him. Failing that, convince him otherwise from joining her."
"Roger that sir."
[\/\/]
"This challenge couldn't have been better for me than it could've. Aipom's now going to be on the attack and will play to my hand and we're having an elimination." revealed Duosion.
Hopefully, Raichu does well and she'll lose a potential ally in the midst- that'll shake her up."
[\/\/]
"It's a bummer we lost but honestly, we won twice so far. As Victini said, it was going to happen eventually. We just have to figure out who we kick out… hmm…" said Chespin.
[\/\/]
"If I knew the race wasn't over, I'd have gone over and finished instead of going straight to my laptop thinking the challenge was over and I wasn't needed. I hope no ones' mad." said Mothim.
[\/\/]
"They left me in the ball for a few hours. What a great team." said Galvantula unenthusiastically.
[\/\/]
"So… who do we vote off?"
Aipom listened in on Chespin, Flygon, Pancham, and Raichu talk to each other about the vote later tonight. Unbeknownst to her, Raichu had a goal in mind for consensus.
"Well… I'd love to vote off Sandshrew, she's on the other team." said Chespin.
Raichu threw an oran berry at Chespin, "Get serious."
"Okay fine…" the chipmunk hummed, "Well, the only two I can think of is either Phantump or Galvantula."
Pancham hummed in agreement, while Flygon rubbed his hands together with soap.
"I think that if she causes no trouble, and you guys know what I mean by that, then there isn't really a reason to vote her off."
"So… who do we vote off?" asked Chespin.
"Well, Mothim is on the table." offered Raichu.
"Hmm? Why Mothim?" asked Flygon.
"He didn't finish. If he did, we could've won. Instead, he decided to go AWOL and take his time with Noibat, who probably convince him to not finish."
"That's…" Chespin thought about for a moment, "Not bad reasoning."
"Yeah… now that I think about it…" started Flygon.
"I can't have this… he's a good candidate…" Aipom whispered. She chose this moment to step in.
"Well, while Mothim did screw up, at least he tried. I think Galvantula is the better choice. She isn't pulling her weight, like, at all. I mean, what did she do this challenge and the past two before it?"
"Hmm…" Flygon closed his eyes in thought, still wiping his hands clean, "I do remember earlier… yeah! I was wondering where she was last challenge! She was probably asleep!"
"And this challenge, she fell asleep and let herself be caught for refusing to move." recounted Chespin.
Pancham held up a note stating, 'I never really see her around and when I do, she's either asleep or eating. She's rather cold-hearted too.'
Raichu stayed silent and folded his arms, glaring at Aipom. She noticed and gave him a confident grin. He shook his head and changed his mind.
"I still think Mothim is the better choice. He shirked his duty as a member of this team and flirted with the enemy." reminded Raichu.
Aipom chuckled at his feeble attempt to try and fight her.
"Well, you guys vote for who you think is best, but I'll just say it again, Galvantula is the best choice. Mothim and Phantump are still useful."
She started to leave but stopped next to Flygon.
"Can you meet me later?"
"Sure?"
Raichu eyes widened as the two parted ways.
[\/\/]
"Duosion is going to be as ballistic as missile when I tell him this…" Raichu said with a nervous sweat.
[\/\/]
"It's sudden but I can see the writing on the wall. If I can't have Mothim, then I'll get my number two choice. I can get the code-muncher later."
Aipom sighed.
"But now I should be careful or else our little war will become hard to hide, now that I basically yelled to Raichu, 'Hey look, I'm recruiting Flygon instead- fuck you!'"
[\/\/]
"Well Fiery Flareons, welcome to the campfire ceremony! Long time waiting for you guys to get here so you can all suffer the pain of losing someone you possibly care about!" said Victini, holding a Poke puff beside him telepathically.
"Get on with it." said Duosion.
"Ah, ah, ah. I have to explain what happens… and light the fire." he blew a massive Flamethrower into the bonfire pit, lighting up the entire area in orange light.
"Better!"
"Holy shit, that was huge." observed Glaceon.
"Yup! I'm one of the strongest Fire-types around! Anyways, let me explain what's gonna happen: I give Poke puff to those who are staying until there's only one of you left! The last one without a puff is eliminated and can never, ever come back, and must ride the Mantine of Disappointment!" explained Victini.
Hoopa and Jirachi floated over to his side, a tray of puffs with them each.
"So, without further delay and boredom, let's start!"
He tossed a puff to Ledian, who caught it handily.
"Red bug!"
"Ledian."
"Chespin… Cubone… Aipom… Minun…"
Chespin and Aipom caught and ate theirs while Cubone and Minun squealed in delight.
"Duosion… Sneasel… Mothim… Raichu…"
Duosion physically caught his while Sneasel quickly bit hers away. Raichu caught Mothim's and handed it to him.
"Pancham… Flygon… Aggron… Glaceon…"
Pancham caught his and did a silent cheer, while Flygon carefully checked his out. Aggron simply ate his while Glaceon slowly nibbled at it.
"That leaves us just Sneasel and Galvantula. Who will get the last puff?"
"Phantump, you caused an avalanche that possibly cost your team the win when it made everyone pass the checkpoint they needed to actually go through."
"I didn't mean too! I fell!" he argued.
"You're. A. Ghost." informed an irritated Sneasel. "You can float dumbass."
"Oh…" Phantump sheepishly scratched the back of his head, "Oh, yeah…"
"And Galvantula…. you're lazy. And annoying." Victini looked to Jirachi who motioned to him, "Oh, and you eat way too much food."
"It's free. And what do you care what I do?"
"We do, you lazy idiot!" addressed Duosion.
"Well, only one campers is staying here past this point, and that camper is…"
Victini threw up the puff into the night sky. After a few seconds, it came back into view and gracefully landed on Phantump's head.
"Hey!"
"Phantump!" the fire sprite turned to the emotionless spider.
"Galvantula how very lucky! You're going home!"
"How expected." said Galvantula.
"I actually thought Phantump was going home but oh well, this works too!" he gave them all a wave, "See you all next time you guys lose. Try to have something of a good night."
Victini left with Jirachi and Hoopa in tow, Jirachi psychically carrying away the EleSpider from the ceremony pit.
"Well that gets rid of the dead weight on this team." commented Cubone, "She was never up to explore and stuff…"
"I'll explore if you want to right now!" said Minun. "I'll even bring Raichu!"
"Awesome!"
"Rrr…" groaned Raichu.
[\/\/]
Pancham held a note to the camera that read, 'Aipom was right. Galvantula didn't care at all. At least Mothim and Phantump try.'
He turned the note over, a silly grin on his face.
'And besides, who am I to stop love when it's in the air? Hopefully, Mothim isn't too dense or else, he'll suffocate within all that love being stubborn.'
[\/\/]
"Can't a soldier get some rest?" said Raichu. Knocking could be heard on the door behind the camera.
"Come on out Raichu!"
"Argh…"
[\/\/]
"This place was a snoozefest and the money wasn't worth my time. At least the food was decent but thank goodness I'm going home." said Galvantula.
"I don't care who wins. Now when do I leave?"
[\/\/]
"As it turns out, Aipom beat me to the punch. I was hoping to kick Mothim out- she would've loved to have him and I know it, but it looks like she had a back-up." revealed Duosion.
"Still, she's quite desperate, it's obvious. Let's see how far she'll go to keep this charade of civility up. Hehehe…"
[\/\/]
Monferno was tired of being dragged on the ground and tired in general, as she was pulled to the beach.
"So, the big idea of dragging me out to the beach at one on the morning is…?"
Sableye turned to her and laughed.
"Night's tha' best time ta' speak ta' one a'nother without all the bull'."
"And speak about what and with who?" asked Monferno, "And let me go! I can walk!"
"Alright, we're 'ere already anyways."
He dropped the monkey to the ground with a poof of sand flying everywhere.
"Thanks…" she groaned as she got up to see Sandshrew and Buizel, with Sableye walking up to them, "Uhh… hey you two."
"'Ey Monferno. Nice ta' see ya' not hurting fa' once." greeted Sandshrew.
"Err… thanks?"
Buizel chuckled, a smile on his face, "I think a hello is good enough."
"Right." Monferno looked around, "Why are we here? And why so early in the morning."
"Well, me and Buizel 'ave been talkin' and well…" Sandshrew stopped and coughed, elbowing Buizel.
"What?"
Sandshrew motioned him to continue.
"Eh? Oh… OH. Uhh…" he scratched his head, trying to think clearly, "Well I wanted you guys here to start an alliance. Just the four of us."
Monferno raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Really? Just like that?"
"No gimmicks. Just cooperation and voting as one. Think of it as defense for the future." offered Buizel.
"Well, I'm in if you're leadin'." said Sableye with a chuckle.
"And I'm already in." affirmed Sandshrew.
Monferno sighed when she saw them staring at her.
"Well, I'd be dumb to say no… I'm in." answered Monferno.
"Awesome. From now on, we're the Miltia." Monferno stared at Buizel, "Sandshrew's idea."
"'Ey, it's 'ow we stay independent where I come from. Don't knock it!"
Sableye chuckled, "If I did, then you'd have no home!" Sandshrew lightly punched him in the stomach, "I… deserved that one." he grunted out.
[\/\/]
"A little early for an alliance and a bit out of the blue but hey, it's among friends. Nothing can go wrong." said Monferno.
From the side, the mirror fell on her.
"Aaa… aa…"
[\/\/]
"I feel this will be necessary later on. Might as get one started now." commented Buizel.
[\/\/]
Sneasel and Flygon were looking at a plastic folding table set-up by Aipom behind the mess hall with cards upon.
"So, is this what you called me for?"
"Sit down you two and let's play. We'll talk as we do." Aipom said as she sat in one of the chair's.
"What is it?" asked Flygon as he took a seat opposite Sneasel.
"Nothing special, just a round of a simple card game I call, go truth or dare fishing."
Sneasel and Flygon looked at each other with the same questioning look before turning it on Aipom.
"What?" they both asked.
"It's simple: when it's your turn, you ask for a card from someone, go fish style. If you get a card from them, then you ask them truth or dare- vice versa if you don't. And if you bluff and get found out…"
She smiled darkly.
"Then you're forced to do any dare or tell any truth asked of you or face humiliation."
Flygon gulped while Sneasel chuckled.
"Where's this game been my whole life? I'd love to play this in school."
"I made it all up myself." she gestured to the table, "So, you two gonna play?"
"Definitely." affirmed Sneasel.
"I guess so…" answered Flygon.
"Great!"
Swiftly, Aipom started the game up with a simple question for Sneasel, then a dare for Flygon. After a few embarrassing truths from all three of them and some dares ranging from hilarious, like Flygon purposely sticking his hand in mud to painful, like Aipom taking an Ice Beam to the face. This continued for a few minutes until Aipom asked a certain question to Flygon.
"Flygon, got any 3s?"
"Yeah." he handed her his card.
"Cool…" she put a hand to her chin and hummed… "Truth."
"Shoot, I guess."
"Would you join an alliance if asked?"
Flygon's face scrunched up in curiosity at the question.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Just a simple yes or no. I'm not asking you to join one this instant."
Flygon tapped a claw to his chin.
"Depends… what would this alliance be offering?" he glanced right into Aipom's eyes, "Aipom."
"Uhh… hehehe…" she chuckled nervously. She looked to Sneasel, who mouthed 'smooth' to her and shook her head, a simple sign that told the monkey she was getting no help from her.
Aipom put down her cards, "Well… I wanted to make sure this team is run well and it is with my leadership… I thought making an alliance would help. Nothing too serious, more an agreement to vote along the same lines as well as maintain that I keep running this team."
"And I can guess what you want to ask me?" he said as he casually wiped the table of dust.
"Will you… uhh… join my alliance?" she nervously asked, making Sneasel facepalm at her second attempt at recruitment being as much a wreck as the first one.
Flygon held his cards to his mouth in deliberation before finally setting them down.
"Okay, I'll join."
"Just like that?" asked Sneasel.
"Yeah. I don't see many downsides really so why not?"
"Awesome!" Aipom held out her tail for him to shake, "Welcome to the Round Table!"
"Round Table?" echoed the other two.
"I couldn't think of anything and the table was all I had to work with!"
Flygon shook her tail before he leaned into Sneasel and whispered, "If this is how she is, then I guess I feel safe knowing she's no..." he looked Sneasel up and down, "Err… crazy girl."
"Yeah… I know what you mean…" responded Sneasel quietly.
She then gave him a rare, reassuring smile from her and laughed.
"If this is the Round Table, then I'm King Arthur!" she proclaimed.
Aipom slammed her hand on the table.
"Whoa there dude! I'm the leader! You're just a knight!"
"I'm sure I'm the one who should be leading."
"I'm the one who asked you to join!"
"You did, but it was barely what I called convincing!"
Flygon chuckled and smiled as the two continued to go back and forth for the next few minutes.
"I think I'll get used to you two…" he mumbled to himself.
[\/\/]
"I thought that being in an alliance, like on that show, would be all about, sabotage, eliminations, getting the upper hand, blackmail and such, but Aipom is a misnomer to all that. Time will tell, however. Also, Sneasel's surprisingly receptive, compared to how she is usually. I guess that what it's like to gain someone trust."
Flygon put a hand to his chin and popped up with an idea in mind.
"Maybe she'll like my cleaning tips…"
[\/\/]
"I honestly thought Aipom had forgotten about her promise and was willing to let it slide, but what do you know- she actually came through with it... though I feel it was with reason."
Sneasel closed her eyes and muttered something to herself before slowly nodding to the camera.
"Still… yes… I definitely made a good choice in a friend. And Flygon isn't a bad guy either. I deem him a friend too."
[\/\/]
Flaafy looked at the note in her hand and the large crate sitting on the end of the dock. It was long past the time Galvantula left and no one was around; she was pretty sure everyone was asleep by this point.
"So, I just… slip it in or… tape it on or something?" she said to herself.
She walked around the crate to see a note tapped onto it with an arrow pointing down to the ground.
"Oh, I see. Slip it under the crate."
She did as told and slipped it under the crate. Unbeknownst to her, Whimsicott, a master at fitting into tight spaces, was waiting underneath. She snatched up the note Flaafy slipped under the large crate and made sure she wasn't looking when she slipped out a new one.
"I guess that's done… now what do I do?"
The sheep started to walk away when she heard a crunch. She looked down to see the note Whimsicott slipped out.
"How…" she picked it up and looked around, no one in sight, "Who… how… when…?" she shook her head in disbelief.
"Where the fuck did this come from!?"
Whimsicott chuckled to herself as the Wool Pokémon continued to look about the dock and beach in desperation for an answer. She finally gave up with a groan and unfolded the paper.
"This better be good…"
'Nice to see you're doing as told. As said, you give me only one question, which will be answered when you finish your next task.
There, again, you get the chance to ask another. Follow what I say, and I won't leave pages of your diary everywhere.'
"Well that's certainly nice..." Flaafy sarcastically commented. She kept going and let her jaw drop at the next set of words.
"Oh… oh boy."
'But, you'll only get your answers if, and only if you do as I say.
Your next task, is to steal something for me.
What it will be, you will see a later time with a new note on her head.'
"Oh alright, a waiting game is it now...?" she scoffed, "I guess I'll have to wait to find out what this jackass wants…"
"Me too… wish she told me what she wants…" whispered Whimsicott.
Flaafy continued to read the note, sighing as she did, wishing she didn't have to.
'Once you take what will be mine, bring it to the dock like this time.
Leave it in a box, and you'll get your next answer.'
'- Your only friend.'
"My only friend my ass. Blackmailing me isn't friendship."
Flaafy crumpled up the note and almost threw it away before slowly slipping it into her wool.
"This is stupid…" she groaned, "Am I really going to be a thief for this guy? And what if its something from... like... Fraxure…?"
As Flaafy walked away, muttering complaints to herself, Whimsicott slipped out, making sure the coast was clear, before reading what Flaafy asked on the note she gave in.
"Ooo… this is in~ter~rest~ing~! I can't wait for Sunny's answer!"
Whimsicott hopped into the air and out of sight, note in hand, passing the sheep undetected. She blew her an unseen kiss before continuing on with a giggle.
"Did someone just… giggle?"
Flaafy looked around but saw no one in sight. She slowly shook her head and kept walking.
"This fucking place..."
And the not-so itsy-bitsy spider bites the dust! Not that that wasn't expected. She wasn't made to go far- like Noah... and a certain bell brain.
Galvantula was originally a more active character but I decided that a lazy one was needed. But then I realized I needed a gluttonous one, so I did what any sane person did, combine them! So now, the best basic description for her is that she's Owen, if he had Noah's laziness. What a combo that would've been!
Basically, she was a heavy eater, with zero fucks to give, and didn't care win or lose- as long as she could eat.
Well, next time, see you all next episode on TOTAL DRAMA POKEMON! Näeme hiljem!
Next episode: Episode 4 - Treats for Eats!
Galvantula: Review please. *sigh* …There I said, now give me my lunch.
A sandwich slammed into her face.
Victini... you asshole.
