A/N: And here is chapter 4, my dears! I apologize that it took a little while!
The characters of ATLA are in no way mine :)
The journey back to the city was awkward to say the least. I spent the night beside the little prison I'd constructed, keep the traitors in their confinement and keeping myself far, far away from Katara.
It wasn't that I regretted the kiss, I really, really didn't. But we were treading in dangerous water. The north was powerful and definitely not a force to be reckoned with. But we didn't know how powerful. All we really knew was that Hahn was the trigger. If scorned, he had the power to call down the fleet all on his own and the south would be left right where it was before the peace treaty: devastated. I wasn't willing to leave them that way, not again.
Throughout the night I'd thought of thousands of scenarios of running away with Katara, living in the Fire Nation or the Earth Kingdom—perhaps even the Air Temples. But each scenario led to the South's destruction and the North eventually attempting to expand their power over the whole world. There didn't appear to be a happy ending in sight for us and it made my chest ache.
We stopped around noon to rest, Katara forced Hakoda to get up and walk around for a few moments to stretch his legs while I sat on a raised bit of land some yards from the group, still mulling over the night before. I hardly noticed when she left her father and joined me.
"Aang…" her voice was soft but it made my skin bristle. I didn't think this would be good news. I just looked at her, my mouth too dry to even try to form words. "Last night was…"
I braced myself.
"…Wonderful."
Yup, she hated i-wait, what?
"It makes things more complicated, doesn't it?"
I nodded dumbly, still stuck on the fact that she wasn't yelling at me for being so forward in the first place. A moment of silence passed before I managed to say anything. "Where do we go from here, Katara?"
She sighed, her voice wavering just slightly. "I can't leave Hahn."
"I know." I wanted her to. But I knew she couldn't.
"My proximity to him is too advantageous. There's countless of efforts that I've blocked from happening and without my spying the south would fall even faster." She spoke like it was inevitable. Maybe it was. "But…none of that is fair to you." Her voice fell to a whisper. "I want to be with you, Aang."
I wondered where this was coming from. If everything she said in Appa's barn was a lie. There was probably some truth to it. Ten years was a long time to wait, especially if she thought I was fooling around with someone in the Fire Nation. The culture was very different there but it wasn't one that I assimilated into entirely.
"I want that too," I finally said. "But," I couldn't believe I was saying this, "I won't do something behind Hahn's back. I don't know how he feels about you and if the situation was reverse, I couldn't bear it." I wanted to slap myself. This was the woman I'd dreamed of for the last ten years of my life and I was telling her no. But, deep, deep, deeeeep in my gut, I knew I was right. Jerk or not, Hahn still deserved my respect. At least some of it.
"I understand," she murmured. "I'd end it if I thought I could," were her departing words as she slipped away and back to check on Hakoda. My heart twisted watching her walk away.
I couldn't believe I was letting her.
By sunset we were all back in our homes. Katara had taken Hakoda to the healing ward while Bato and the others had taken care of Hahn's spies as well as the meat from the hunt, which yielded little. The city was back as it was before the storm, with a lively market and streets packed with people. But something had been different when we walked through the gates. The people looked frightened.
The South had always had a jovial feel to it and this afternoon I'd felt none of it. People watched over their shoulders as if they were expecting someone to grab the goods they carried. Craftsmen watched over their tables like a hawk with weapons strapped to their sides. Law enforcement seemed to have doubled. Something was off and I didn't doubt that it had something to do with Hahn. He was too elusive to accuse of anything, though. Especially with the way he'd greeted us.
He looked beyond relieved when Katara walked through the gates and it pained me to be forced to see how much he cared for her. Honestly, I'm surprised he has the capability to feel.
Then again, he is human and humans are complex.
But he raced toward her so frantically and pulled her into such an embrace that you would have thought she'd returned from the dead. He'd been worried about her, worried about a defenseless woman stuck in the throes of a blizzard. So worried that he wouldn't leave her side and he went with her to the healing ward.
I couldn't help but feel bitter. She wouldn't have been defenseless if he had pushed her to learn how to bend beyond healing.
"Aang?"
I sat up, stretching my back before granting the voice permission to enter.
Hakoda slowly entered the room, a slight limp in his step as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. He heaved a sigh, rubbing the weariness from his eyes. He was getting older, I realized. Trips like this last one weren't going to be happening very often anymore.
I wondered if he was even strong enough to make it through all of this.
"I wanted to talk to you about what's happened over the last few weeks," he spoke.
I swallowed and nodded, remaining in my place on the other side of the mattress.
"What happened was a deliberate attempt on my life and I have no doubt that Hahn was behind it. As it is, the two men aren't going to say anything to incriminate him and so, yet again, we have no proof. We are not going to be able to imprison him, not ever. I think the best hope we have is to get him away from the south."
Reasonable enough.
"What do you propose we do?"
He heaved a sigh, his eyes weary. He'd given this a lot of thought and I wasn't sure I was going to like what he had to say. "Katara and Hahn are to be married in the north in several months' time. However, Katara came to me this afternoon with an idea. She wishes to push forth the wedding and therefore get Hahn out of the city before he can do any further damage."
I stiffened. I didn't want her to leave and I didn't care how selfish that was. "How does she propose to do this?"
"She proposed luring him into her bed and then claiming to be pregnant some weeks later."
My world spun. "No." The word clawed its way out of my throat, burning it as it went.
Hakoda turned and his face softened the moment he looked into my eyes. "I know how you feel about my daughter, Avatar, but this is her choice."
"If she does this she might really end up carrying his child. Could you live with that?"
His jaw tightens. "Again, it's not my choice. It's hers."
I shook my head, my heart racing. No. No. She would never forgive herself if she did this. "You're willing to let her do this? Let her act as one of your pawns? She's more than that, Hakoda."
He frowned and shifted his gaze to his feet. His shoulders heaved with the weight of his decision and I realized he felt the same. He didn't want her to do it either but after years of treating Katara like a foolish girl, he must have realized she'd been working for him all along. He was letting her play her part because he had been holding her back for years.
"This is the wrong choice, Hakoda. She's just a girl," the desperation in my voice hardly enforced those words. She was so much more than a girl. She was a brave young woman who clearly put everyone else before herself. She was everything.
He stiffened. "No, she's not just a girl, Aang. She a young woman, a brave young woman. She has the right to make this choice and you have no right to force her to change it."
I looked to the flood, biting the inside of my cheek as I did. He was right but that didn't mean I'd like it or that I wouldn't try to change her mind.
"Anything that happens will be because Katara thinks it is what's best for her people, Aang. I—she knows how desperate we are to get our sister tribe off our backs and she knows how close we are to all out warfare. Believe me, this is the last thing I want for her. But it might be the only chance we have at freedom, even if it temporary. With him gone we can get back on our feet and prove to the world that we can stand on our own."
There was truth to his words. I was smart enough to know that, but I was also smart enough to know that there were other ways, the other nations could help. I said as much but he shook his head. It would take too much time and we needed to let Katara try this. If it didn't work, then we'd revisit that option.
This was ridiculous. This was ill conceived. Had they even bothered to think this through?
"I need to talk to her." I untangled myself from the blankets and half stumbled to the door and out into the hall, not caring that I'd left Hakoda sitting there.
I tried not to think too much as I stormed through the halls of the chief's home. I knew if I did I'd lose my edge. I'd over think it all. I couldn't think of any reason for Katara not to do this other than I didn't want her to. She was betrothed to him, for all intents and purposes what she proposed doing wasn't all that uncommon. But she didn't love him. She was with him out of obligation more than anything. There were other ways she could help the South.
Stopping before her door, I heaved a sigh, releasing all the nerves I felt coiling in my stomach before I knocked twice.
She peaked through the small crack in the door before allowing me entry. "What do you want?" She sounded so unwelcoming.
"I think you know why I'm here."
Her eyes closed and she shook her head, moving from the door to behind the dressing screen in the corner. Much of her room contained items from different nations, many of them I'd had sent to her, those were mostly little things, though. Like the statue of a flying lemur on her bedside table.
"Katara, you can't do this."
"I can, Aang. He is my betrothed. I'll have to do it eventually, might as well get it over with."
"But you don't love him. Didn't you once tell me that your Gran Gran fled something similar to this? Are you going disappoint her like this?"
"Don't you dare bring my family into this! This is bigger than that and you know it."
"But it doesn't have to be this way, Katara!"
"No, Aang, it doesn't. It really doesn't. But if we don't get Hahn out of here soon even worse things are going to happen. He released criminals while we were gone. Northern men that were arrested for terrorism. I found the papers on his desk when we returned. He's claiming you authorized it."
What? "That's why everyone looks so…"
"Terrified?" She nodded as she walked to her bed, sitting down. Her fingers played with the pendant around her neck. "He's turning the tribe against you and is gaining support because of it. We need to get him to the North. If he thinks I'm pregnant he'll stay there until I deliver the baby. Or lose it. If I lose it he'll stay just as long. Nine months is enough time for Dad and Bato to figure something out."
I sat beside her, closer than I probably should have and slipped my hands into hers. Before I said anything she pulled her hands away and folded them into her lap. "There's nothing else I can do, Aang, and I have to do something."
"There's always another way. A better way."
"That may be true but I can think of none and we need to act soon. I can't delay this because you want me to."
"Katara…"
"No, Aang. I'm sorry I'm hurting you. I'm sorry we can't make this work. But until someone can think of something else, this is what I am going to do."
I looked at her, really looked at her. This woman who was so tired of it all that she was risking the rest of her life in the faint hope that it might save the Southern Water Tribe. There was no guarantee that Hahn would stay with her, there was no promise that they wouldn't send someone else. She knew that, too. But I didn't think she was letting herself think about it. This brave water tribe woman.
"Fine," I finally replied. "Do what you wish. It's your life, after all. But, Katara," I hesitated, "You're worth more than this."
I didn't realize she was crying until I heard her sniffle after I'd left the room.
That night I laid in bed, my eyes never closing. It wasn't late but other than my visit to Appa I had nothing else to do. I was angry and lashing out at whoever decided to speak to me wasn't working. Holing myself up in my rooms and wallowing in my anger and grief seemed like a better option. I'm sure Hakoda appreciated it, especially when he needed rest from the journey and his wound.
It wasn't late, only a few hours after sunset. Hahn and Katara had left for their evening out two hours ago and had yet to be seen since. It infuriated me, the look he'd given her when he saw her. Hahn cared for Katara, he really did. A jerk or not that wasn't something I could continue to deny. And I knew she cared for him on some level, but it was still all just one big political move to her.
The soft click of the door handle pulled me from my thoughts. Katara stood there, tears brimming in her eyes. "I couldn't do it," she whispered, her voice catching.
And suddenly my heart was back in my throat.
"Come here," I murmured, pulling back the blankets and scooting to the side. She locked the door and removed a few layers before sliding under the blankets next to me, her head resting on my shoulder as my arms wrapped around her, pulling her snuggly against my form.
We laid like that for some time, perhaps hours, listening to the soothing breath of the other. Our arms would sporadically tighten around the other in a gentle reassurance that the other was still there. "Katara," I murmured, gently pressing a kiss to her brow.
"Mmm?"
"Let's run," I said softly, "We can go to the Fire Nation, I know Ozai and Iroh will help us if we present our case to them. We could go to the Earth Kingdom, King Keui would help us, too."
She burrowed further into my chest and I felt her smiling against my skin. "You came up with something else?"
That wasn't a no. Thank the spirits. "I think it'll work."
"I think it will, too."
An hour later we were in Appa's barn with Hakoda, packed supplies into the saddle for the journey. Katara, ever the nurturing mother of her family, spent most the time scolding Hakoda for not taking it easy, though I think he was eager to get us out of here before Hahn woke up. We had at least three hours until dawn and an hour after that before the city started stirring. I wanted us to be far enough out that a pursuit wasn't possible.
"Katara," he finally said. "I know you're worried about me. But we have healers here that can help if I need it."
She relented, eventually, and climbed into the saddle while Hakoda pulled me aside.
"Aang," he whispered. "Don't let her come back until this is dealt with. It's only going to get worse from here and she won't be safe if she returns."
I nodded. "Thank you, Hakoda." I bowed, my fist resting in my palm before I launched myself into Appa's head. "Ready boy? Yip yip!"
With a groan Appa lifted off the ground and sailed through the large doors, flying low in the city, It'd been several days since he'd been let out to fly, I imagined he was stiff. Our stealthy get away was lost because of it.
Though, Katara's laughter was hardly subtle either.
Around us, the city started stirring but by the time anyone made it outside, we were already gone, picking up momentum as Appa raised himself into the sky.
"This is where you grew up?" she breathed.
We were standing in the courtyard of the Southern Air Temple, surrounded by wildlife. I'd hoped to have time to restore it to its former glory after my tour around the world but it seemed that the world and its problems wouldn't still for me just yet. It had crossed my mind to find a way for someone to help me with it but…the idea of outsiders—other than friends, obviously—being here unnerved me. This place was sacred. I needed to know that people would respect it.
"Yes." I still can't believe I'm sharing it with her. "I was raised here by the monks, Monk Gyatso, mainly."
The corner of her lips fell. "You told me about him. In your letters."
I looked away. "Yeah." I'd done a little cleaning when I'd come here before, between my lessons in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation and lain Gyatso to rest. By then I accepted what happened to my people but it didn't make seeing it hurt any less. "This place used to be so full of life and now it's . . . gone."
She smiled sadly and walked away from Appa and up the path to explore the temple further. For the next hour I showed her where I slept, where I played, all the places I learned how to air bend. She was fascinated by it all, more than once she stopped to admire the architecture, commenting on how beautiful it all was.
"You should have seen it when the monks took care of it."
"Who takes care of it, now?"
I shrugged. "No one, really."
"Oh."
I gave her a faint grin. There wasn't much to do about that. I wanted the people living in the temples to understand and respect the culture and not live there haphazardly. I didn't know anyone I trusted enough to take that role, I didn't think I ever would. But watching them slowly wither away wasn't easy. Perhaps it was time to accept it as part of the past. Or find someone I trusted enough to care for them. But, like I said, that probably wouldn't happen.
"Anyway, we'll camp here for the night and then make our way to the Fire Nation Capital in the morning. Hopefully we'll make it to land before dark."
We built a campfire nestled around it for warmth. The rooms here still hold a significant amount of sadness for me, remembering who used to stay in each one. I could hardly bring myself to sleep in one, not even my own. That didn't stop me from showing it to her on our tour, though. She wanted to see it and I wasn't about to deny her that.
"Tell me about the monks."
What?
"You told me about them in your letters. I want to hear more about them."
And I obliged. I told her more about Gyatso and the pranks we used to pull, the games we used to play. If monks had fathers, he was it for me. I told her about the other novice air benders, the games we used to play. I told her everything. From my first day to my last.
"Monk Tashi sounds like he was a grump," she chuckled softly.
"He was very serious," I agreed. "But he was a good teacher, they all were. Monk Pasang was doing what he thought was best for the world and I left when I should have listened. He was right. But I'm not sure what good it would have done if I had stayed."
"You might have ended up just like them."
I nodded. "Or I'd have gone into the Avatar state and saved them."
She sighed, giving me a sympathetic look. "You can't dwell on the possibilities, Aang. You'd already done so much for the world since then. You brought back peace."
I winced. "Did I?" It's rhetorical. I already know I failed. "I let the North come into a crumbling tribe and take over. They built you a city, they moved into the city, your tribe was so small and so easily bullied into doing what the north wanted. I should have been there to supervise, or at least have sent someone to do it for me."
"You couldn't have known things would have turned out this way," she said. "We didn't know it was turning out this way until recently. We were thrilled to have something more comfortable and safe to call home, Aang. All of this aggression from the north happened within the last few months. Dad sent for you as soon as he realized something was wrong. It's not too late to fix things."
I can't say her words calmed me. I didn't think anything would really make me relax until this was over with. I expected Arnook to back off when the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom turned on him, but that depended on if the two nations decided it was worth it. They were still recovering from the Hundred Year War, after all.
"It's too late for things to ever be the same," I spoke softly.
She looked down at her hands. "I don't want them to be the same. Our meager village barely survived on its own. Building the city was an improvement, especially because our lack of one is what made us an easy target for the Fire Nation. Now if we ever have something like that again, we'll be safer."
"Maybe."
"Aang," her voice was firm, "You cannot beat yourself up over absolutely everything. You are doing your best."
I shook my head. "Let's get some sleep, Katara. We're leaving at first light."
A/N: I was going to add a lot more to this but I felt like this was a good place to leave off. Keep an eye out for the next chapter!
