Author's Note: Hi, again! I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited, followed, and read so far! I want to give a special thank you to SleepingSeeker for the support as well! I do want to make a quick blur will quick as well. First, as I go into my next part, I changed the song that inspires each chapter. This time, it's "Safe and Sound" (I truly enjoy the cover by Julia Sheer, and was the one I listened to) so definitely listen to it for the mood and for fun! Also, on a serious note, this fall I'll be starting graduate school for counseling and, as I'll imagine, my schedule will be very demanding since I'll also be working. I do intend on finishing this story, and continuing forward- but the updates may be a little slower, or shorter. Regardless, I truly appreciate your thoughts so please leave a review! Thank you again so much for your support! I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Song Quote from "Safe & Sound" (By Civil Wars ft. Taylor Swift). I do not own TMNT.

...

A Turtle and His Sisyphus

…..….

"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go"

...

We all had nightmares as kids. It's no shocker, really. I mean, even as kids we had pretty vivid imaginations. And we snuck in an occasional horror movie thanks to Raphael and his tripe dog dares—I never did let him forget about the time Mikey snuck in fake bugs into his bed and Raph woke up screaming. It was hysterical.

Wow. That sounded way crueler than it was then.

But we all had our own way of fighting off nightmares. I usually tended to keep mine to myself, same with Raph. Unless it bothered me, I'd talk to Splinter. Donnie did have a couple of times where he'd had to sleep with Splinter.

To help us, Sensei taught us a prayer to say to keep the bad dreams away. Of course, being kids, they still happened. We all eventually grew out of them, or at least fell back asleep.

Except Mikey.

It wasn't until we were older that we realized his nightmares weren't normal. Mikey's nightmares turned vicious, and frankly, terrifying. He'd scream so loud it sounded like he was in so much pain. He'd kick and thrash in his bed. No matter what Sensei did, it didn't stop. It lasted a half hour once, maybe even an hour.

I'll never forget his first night terror. We were seven, and all shared a room at the time. The screaming began first. I shot up out of bed, and immediately went beside him. The three of us tried to wake him up. I was so scared, his screams were agonizing. When he began to thrash and kick, we freaked out.

I remember holding his right arm and leg, while Raph desperately tried holding his other half down. Donnie began to cry. Raph was on the verge of tears himself. Me? I never felt so helpless. It didn't take long before Splinter rushed in and took over. No matter what we did, he wouldn't wake up. His eyes were open. We tried calling him and calling him, but it was like none of us were there.

We thought he was possessed. I remember thinking to myself, is he dying? Did I do something wrong? Why couldn't I stop this?

After almost twenty minutes of it, as quickly as it began, it stopped. Just like that. He was sleeping soundly in Splinter's arms. We all assumed it was just a really, really bad nightmare. Except, the next morning when we asked Mikey about it, he had no idea what we were talking about.

I remember looking at Raph and Donnie, all exchanging that same concerning look. None of us told him how bad it was. Scaring him about it wouldn't help. Raph, Don, and I just decided to let it go.

Until it happened again a couple of days after.

With Splinter's concern, and Donnie's research, we discovered that Michelangelo suffered from night terrors. Statistically, only 3% of children have night terrors. Children who suffer from night terrors not only have no memory of the event, but also have no recognition who is in the room with them.

Unfortunately, since there was no way of waking him up, all we could do was wait it out. The older we all got, the more understanding we were. Of course, it's terrifying being woken up to painful screams, but we eventually knew how to react to it. Usually I was the first to react, I'd jump in the bed with him and just hold him so he didn't hurt himself. If it got more violent, Raph and Donnie would get involved. Splinter would sit in the room too, trying to help calm him down.

One trick we learned to do was to try and wake him up, and keep him up for a bit. When we were younger, Master Splinter would pick him up and comfort him until he awoke. Usually he'd cry, and Splinter would wait a couple of minutes before putting him back to bed. As we got older, we all kind of handled it differently.

Usually, we tried talking to him. Sometimes it'd be a dumb question like, 'hey what happened in that episode you were telling us about'? Anything to make sure he didn't fall asleep right away.

This happened until he turned twelve. Of course, as he got older, they were less frequent. Luckily, Splinter said this shouldn't really traumatize him emotionally. And just as he said, we all grew up. Ever since our old home got ruined, the newer lair gave us a lot more space. We got our own rooms, and it didn't happen anymore.

We never told Mikey about his intense night terrors. After all, he had no idea they happened. He was just as happy, joyful, and full of life without knowing. Telling him would just make him feel guilty, and embarrassed. It wasn't worth doing that to him. I guess, ignorance is bliss after all.

After four years of nothing, it happened again. Frankly, this caught us totally off guard. He was supposed to grow out of it, this was supposed to be over. He was supposed to be okay.

It was around the time after our first fight with the Shredder.

I remember hearing his painful cry. Instinctively I reached for my Katana and ran out of my room. My heart was racing. Who was attacking? The Foot? The Dragons? Who found us? My mind was going just as fast as my heart rate. Slamming Mikey's door open, I held my sword as I waited for the threat to come at me.

My heart clenched. It wasn't an enemy. It slowly hit me, once he started thrashing. Another night terror. Putting down my sword, I rushed to his side and memory did the rest. Raph and Donnie weren't too far behind with their weapons in air as well. It wasn't until they saw me begging for their help, that they looked just as defeated as me.

Mikey didn't kick this time, he was mostly sweating profusely and panting. I thought he was sick, or maybe he got poison. But when his eyes opened and he didn't acknowledge us, that's when we knew. The night terror came back again. Luckily, this one only lasted ten minutes until he fell back asleep.

I was scared, irritated, and confused. "Don, why is this happening again? He grew out of it. Why is he doing this again?"

"I-I don't know, Leo. You're right, it should have stopped already." Donnie worried. "Sometimes these things can happen to adults if there's a strong emotional trigger or tension. Like anxiety, stress, anything like that. I mean, there's not about it, it's very rare for an adult to have a night terror but it does occur."

"Anxiety?" Raph echoed. Realizing his own volume, he cursed under his breath and sighed. "Anxiety? About what? When the next comic book comes out?"

"Or the Shredder." I answered dully. "I think he's internalizing what he's really feeling so we're not worrying about him. It was scary, for all of us, and he never even showed it."

No matter what, I promised to myself that regardless I would support and be there for my family. I love them, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to protect them.

I wondered what Mikey dreamt about that gave him such misery. Is he feeling the same way now as he did in his dreams?

I don't know what bothered me more. Knowing that there was nothing I can do to help, or that I had to allow him to hurt until it ended.

Is this what Bishop expects me to do? Sit back and watch? Is this what Sensei is implying for us to do? Allow him to walk into Bishop's trap and let it happen? He wants to toy with me, with my family?

I'll show Bishop what it truly means to suffer.

/././././././././././././././././

Leonardo sat upright alongside the wall. He was close enough to the door so that when Raph comes in he wouldn't make too much noise. It was pretty dark in Mikey's room besides the nightlights he had in the corners of his room.

Almost three in the morning. That's not so bad, huh? At least Mikey's sleeping.

Though Mikey would never admit it, the nightlights still comfort him after having nightmares as a kid. Even though each of them had nightmares, sometimes Mikey's night terrors would wake the whole house. He always did have the most vivid imagination…

The silence allowed Leonardo to meditate, even for a couple of minutes. Sometimes he would hear his brother move in his sleep, with an occasional mumble. He knew his brother was asleep, but anything can happen. He couldn't allow himself to be exhausted.

I hope Donnie is getting some sleep. When Raph comes I better check on him. Then maybe I should get some sleep if I can…

A low creak brought Leonardo's attention right to the door. Slightly ajar, Raphael slowly stepped into the room. The light from the hallway shined dimly as he closed the door, not wanting to let any bright light in. He first looked at his younger brother then back to Leo. Crossing his arms he sighed deeply, "Finally sleeping, huh?"

Rising back to his feet, Leo quickly realized that Mikey's journal was still at his side. He did promise him that he wouldn't show it to anyone. Quickly placing it back on his dresser, Leonardo stretched his arms. Whispering, his eyes narrowed to Raphael. "I have a bad feeling. This is too easy. If this is Bishop, he's waiting for us to have our guard down. Or worse…"

"Worse?" He fought to keep his own voice low. Gesturing toward the door, he stepped out into the hallway. He waited for Leo before he groaned. "Fine. What's goin' on? I know ya talked to Sensei, so spill. What's up?"

Leonardo hesitated. Should he too be putting thoughts into Raphael's head? There was too many possibilities—Bishop, turning Mikey against them—the fact that they may have to allow Mikey to go off again in order to see where he goes? If Raphael even knew that this was a considerable option? No. Not without Splinter's blessing. He trusted his brother with his life, but maybe this is for the best.

He knew that look. Raphael was growing irritated at his own hesitation. He needed to recover, and fast. Honesty is always the best policy after all. He could be honest about how he was feeling.

"We're just worried. Drugs, memory loss—I'm afraid of what's going to happen to him, Raph." Leonardo felt his voice crack. He hated letting his emotions get the best of him. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought. I can't let Raph think I'm slipping too. Clearing his throat he continued calmly, "But Splinter believes with the right rest, mediation, and Donnie's potential antidote that we should be okay until we can go back to the surface to investigate more."

"Hopefully that'd work." Raphael mused. He knew he didn't sound that convincing, but things wouldn't be this easy if it involved Bishop. That could wait until morning, especially for Leo's sake. "You better get some sleep at least."

With a quick nod he rubbed his template. "Yeah. Just make sure your guard is up, you never know when something can happen."

"Yeah." Raphael answered quietly, his eyes darting to the floor. He carefully picked his head up, and slowly said, "Look…I know you're not gonna like it. But I was doin' some thinkin' about finding more clues."

Oh, this is going to be interesting. Raph's ideas always end with a fist to someone's face. But it's worth hearing him out. "And?"

"I have contacts, from my Nightwatcher days. I know it's been years, but, there are guys who owe me a couple of favors. And I'm not sayin' I'm gonna go back into the business or anthin' but…Back then, I got involved in a shit ton of stuff. I knew the in's and out's of the city. If these guys are still around, especially in the underground, maybe they'd know Bishop. Dragons and Foot are the major players, but there's a lot of behind the scene work done ya know. Even they hire people. I know some people who may know somethin'."

Leonardo's eyes locked onto his brother's. Though Raphael wouldn't dare admit to it, but it was like he was asking for his permission to do this. Regardless of what anyone else thinks (Mikey, just Mikey seemed to believe it) but the Nightwatcher wasn't a hero. He wasn't the good guy. He caused more hell, chaos. Sure, he understood his troubled brother's intentions. But did that ever justify his actions? Raphael never spoke about who and what he did when he put on that mask. Does Casey even know?

Leonardo crossed his arms, his voice more firm. "How do you even know these, 'contacts', of yours will even talk to you? The Nightwatcher's been off the charts for a long time. Suddenly you're going to reappear like it was yesterday? You know you'd get the same results now, then if you put on a suit."

"Without the suit, they'd get a bounty on our heads to sell us to Foot, Dragons, or whoever the hell wants us dead." Raphael retorted. "

The Nightwatcher almost severed their relationship. Almost. Leonardo felt like a hypocrite—after all, he went away for almost over a year for his own reasons. At least being the Nightwatcher helped others. What did I do? I trained, did a few random acts of kindness and helped some people. Raph was hurt, I hurt him. Becoming the Nightwatcher was his way of allowing his own expression. He swore he was done with that life. I don't think he wants to do it, but if it means helping Mikey?

"Look, Leo, just forget I asked ya-."

"Do it."

Raphael's eyes widened. "What?"

"You're right. Bishop's hiding, we may not be able to find him. But he has people, somewhere. Our family is in danger. We're running out of options here. I trust your call. If you think becoming…the Nightwatcher again is going to help, then do it. Only if you're communication is always on and I follow from a distance."

"Right." Raphael's expression lightened. It felt strange talking about the Nightwatcher. Once he put away his helmet and suit that was it. It was because of the Nightwatcher he did something unforgiveable. He almost lost Leo, in more ways than one. A sting of guilt hit him. Did Leo still think about that night too? Is Leo allowing this just to make him happy? Damn it, I shouldn't have said anythin'. Maybe this is a bad idea.

Before Leo could walk away, he quickly grabbed his shoulder. "Hey. I…I…Look, don't think that I want to become what I was before, ok? I just want to get to the bottom of this. Ya know that, right?"

"Of course." Leonardo offered a small smile. "You're a lot stronger now, even wiser. I can't hold you all back from making your own decisions. I know you'll do the right thing, for everyone."

Damn it, Fearless. Why do ya gotta act like we don't want you around?

"Don't be so melodramatic. We still need you, so go to sleep." Raphael waved him off as he walked into Mikey's room. Closing the door, he sat on his brother's large bean-bag chair. This is gonna be a long night…

/./././././././././././././././././

I was talking to somebody. I can't remember who, but I definitely wasn't home in the lair. One minute I was talking with Leatherhead—wait. Where did he go? Did the Shredder get him too?

I had to get out of here.

I was running. That's all I knew. It was also cold, dark, and wet. But I mean, I figured that's what it was going to be like running in the sewers. I couldn't tell you why I was running, but that's what I was doing.

I had to be somewhere. Anywhere but here.

You see, he's going to kill my brothers. I mean, it's the Shredder. It's not that much of a shock, but this time, he has them. He has Master Splinter.

I was able to knock him down before he snatched me. I always was the quickest turtle.

"Why are you running from me, turtle? Don't you know I'm just going to find you."

He was close, too close. Almost like the voice was in my head.

I had to catch my breath, though. I mean, even a fit guy like me had to take a break.

"Don't you see? They don't need you, they never needed you."

Man, this guy was a real jerk! Before I could think of a smart comeback, I was smacked right into the concrete wall. My vision was already blurred enough, now I can barley see anything.

I saw red, though. I don't know if that was a good thing or not? What would Donnie say? I think seeing something was good, but that could be blood or something worse. I'm going to go with the optimist approach and say it was a good thing.

I tried to keep my focus straight. There was definitely something pinning me against the wall. I felt the figure attack me. I can feel my flesh getting sliced up.

"You don't care anymore do you?"

Why can't I fight back? Why aren't I fighting back? It didn't help that I felt so weak…

I thought about sleep. That's all I felt like doing.

But how the hell can I when this jerk-off is in my face?

"Your family is gone. All your doing. They didn't need you. They used you."

Wait…Who is he talking about? They? I can't think straight. It mustn't be important if I can't remember.

"I would never do that to you."

Wait. I remember that voice…Is that…?

"I would never hurt you, my son."

"Sensei!" If my head could explode, in a literal sense, it would. I can feel each aching pulse. I could see his silhouette; he was reaching out to me. That's right! Master Splinter! My father. He'd help me! He'd want me!

I grabbed his hand. I squeezed with all my might. Maybe he'd help me up. Maybe we'd go home—wherever that was.

He slapped my hand away. His voice deepened with disgust. "No, my son. You must stand on your own. You must atone for what you have done."

Atone? For what? I literally just got here. Why is he treating me this way?

"W-What do I need to do, Father?" I was desperate. The Shredder was coming after me; he's the only one who can help me. I don't know why I know that, but I just have to hold onto that!

His voice softened this time. I can see him crouching in front of me. He sounded a lot nicer this time, almost like he was going easy on me. "Listen to me. Your brothers are gone because of your actions. You ruined this family, my family. If you wish to see them again, you will do as I say. Understood?"

Okay, I've read my fair share of comics, but what the heck was he saying? I go from worrying enough about what the hell is going on to save my 'brothers'? What else can I do? I have no idea what's going on. And my gut is telling me to trust him…

After all, he is my father. Right?

"Listen to me carefully," Sensei warned me. "The Shredder has taken your brothers, because of you. They are not who you think they are."

"What brothers?" I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about. I just wanted to go to sleep, wake up to some nice good pizza and go back to the lair with my—brothers?

Ugh. Whatever. Splinter sure looked pleased.

Slowly, Splinter grinned from ear to ear. It was menacing. It made me uncomfortable.

Suddenly, I heard another voice. It wasn't Splinter's. It was something sinister. Way creepier. This voice sounded real, like it wasn't in my head. Splinter's sounded so soft, so easy. This voice hurt, it was loud. I could swear it was right in front of me.

"Excellent, Michelangelo. You're weaker than I gave you credit for. That's correct. You do not have any brothers. It looks like with one more dose, you are ready for extraction. Soon, he will be the most deadly weapon we can have. And to think, I originally hoped to use Leonardo. Though, it would be very interesting to assess his willpower. "

Leonardo? Why does that name sound familiar?

Master Splinter had disappeared now. Whether or not Master Splinter was in my head or not, whoever was in front of me was actually here. I had to get up. I was back on my knees now. There was a man standing in front of me. His eyes hid behind these dark sunglasses, he was dressed in black from head to toe.

His wicked smile offered a hand to help me up. My guy told me not to trust him. I got up on my own, no matter how much it hurt.

"Do as I command."

Something inside of me snapped. And not in the bad way, or maybe it was bad. But my eyes shot right up to him. I had to listen to him. It felt right. It was like my mind and body were two separate beings—I never felt this way before.

"Take this note. Follow the map on your phone. Leave it for the other Turtles to see. Do not get caught. Run. Come back here. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I didn't really, but it was something to do. Something I felt…like I had to do. It was like everything he said didn't matter.

I was running again.

My eyes darted to my phone.

I never ran so fast. Or maybe I did. With them. That doesn't matter.

I looked down at my phone. It wasn't far. I had to go to that rooftop. 42nd Street.

Everything else was a blur, a dark blur. It was like my body knew what to do and my mind was going along for the ride.

/./././././././././././././././

Raphael didn't know why all of a sudden he jolted up. His eyes felt heavy, his heart was pounding. Was it a nightmare? He stretched out as a yawn escaped his lips. He hated feeling so beat, so exhausted. Sleep sounded so much better. Wait. Sleep? Aw, crap.

Reaching for his phone, the small bright screen shined the time. Almost 5? Shit. Did I fall asleep? Oh no, Mikey!

Carefully rising from Mikey's beanbag chair that was resting in the corner, he tiptoed toward his younger brother's bed. He breathed a sigh of relief, finding Mikey still in deep sleep. At least he didn't wake up. How the hell could I just fall asleep like that?

Shaking his head, he walked back to the beanbag chair and pulled out his phone again. Donatello was supposed to come and wake him up to take the shift until morning. Quickly he wrote a small message. He knew that Splinter and Leo are usually up by dawn for morning meditation and that Leo was going to come back at that time. At least he could get a couple more hours of sleep. "Hey. You wanna come up here until 6?"

Raphael contemplated messaging Don. With him working for so long all week, maybe he should cut him slack and let him sleep. After all, it's only an hour. Donnie needs all the sleep he could get. After all, he did technically pass out, he should be awake enough to at least make sure everything else goes smoothly. He deleted the message, and continuing scrolling through the Internet. At least there's always those stupid articles about movies and stuff.

A thump quickly caught his attention. Glancing up from his phone, he could see Mikey rolling on his side while muttering something under his breath. Poor guy, he's probably so dead tired from the day.

Suddenly, a low hum echoed in the room. Shining over at Mikey's nightstand was his phone, vibrating on top of his comic books. Grabbing the phone, 'BLOCKED', shined across the screen.

Who the hell is calling him? Of all the times I decided to let Donnie slide, he'd know how to track this thing. Should I even bother picking up? Maybe it's the guy who did it. But would picking it up make him track us? Damn it!

Letting his impulse get the best of him, he quickly accepted the call. He knew if he'd talk, the caller would know he definitely wasn't Mikey. An eerie silence fell for what felt like forever. Not even a breath could be heard. The hell? Crap. Maybe it's just a dud.

"Hello, Raphael." The voice was bleak, monotone, and dark. Unrecognizable. Yet, it still filled him with dread. He knew this voice; it was the same one that spoke with Donnie and Leo on their com-link. It's the one that's doing this to his family, to his brother.

His eyes widened as he gripped the phone tighter. How could somebody know it's him? Was there a camera in his room? Could the guy actually be here? There were too many questions running through his head, and he knew one way or another he needed answers. Quickly stepping out of Mikey's room, his voice hissed, "How the hell-?"

"Tell me, Raphael, do you think you can actually stop me? I mean, look around you. I'm looking right at you and you can't even see me."

Raphael felt his stomach drop. His eyes darted from every corner of Mikey's room. Stepping out of Mikey's door he scanned the hallway. Was he here? Was there a camera? How? Leo didn't fall asleep once, and Donnie's been here all night! He's bluffing. Donnie would have been able to see-!

The deep voice snickered, chuckling darkly. "You didn't stop Leonardo from abandoning your family. You couldn't stop Donatello's infection from nearly killing him, and if I recall correctly you neededhelp. You think you can help Michelangelo when he's already gone?"

Bishop. Leatherhead was right, that asshole's still breathing. Not for long he won't! Raphael felt the anger begin to boil inside of him. This was all just like a game to him, that's all it was. And he was going to prove he was no pawn. "Then prove it, dipshit. Ya nothin' but some coward who's hiding behind lackeys and stupid notes."

"Is that so?" The voice antagonized. "We shall see, shouldn't we?"

The call was disconnected. Raphael reached for his sai as he carefully walked toward Mikey's closet. Something had to be here, he had to be here. Opening the closet door, he shined the phone's light in and found nothing. He's just toying around now, that asshole.

Closing the closet door, he sat back down on the beanbag chair. At least the adrenaline will keep him up until Leo comes back. It was almost morning, then everything will be fixed. Splinter, Leo, Donnie—it'll be a chance to fix everything.

Sensei always did say that hope was a lot more powerful than we give it credit for. Maybe I should gamble with that for once.

/./././././././././././././././

"Sir, the second dosage will only last so long. How will you get the specimen here before his next dosage? Shouldn't we just take him? Your opportunities are ample, I assure you. Besides, they are onto you. They'll know it's you."

"Exactly."

"Then why prolong it?"

"Patience," Bishop smiled wickedly. "Let them think they are safe, let them think the storm is past. It is then, that I will strike. He must willingly come to me. The drugs will confuse his mind, cloud it. I will need to convince him. If the drug does not work, we'll move onto phase two. Besides, it wasn't like I didn't have a distraction plan after all…"

/./././././././././././././././././