She sadly smiled at him.

He felt her fingers cup his cheek in a gentle yet familiar manner as he leaned toward it, missing her touch.

She was saying something to him.

But he couldn't quite catch it despite trying desperately to understand.

He wanted to look at her; see her face, but all he could see was a blur.

Her hands tilted his face slowly to his side as a sweet whisper came near his ear.

"Severus..."

He woke up with a start.

He found himself draped around the comforters, shaking in cold moisture as he found his nether region throbbing in need. He exhaled through his nose, trying to make himself calm down. Closing his eyes with a shiver, he pushed his stringy hair out of his face while he removed himself from his bed, knowing perfectly well that he won't be getting any more sleep tonight even if he tried. That not even potions would help.

After all, everyone knows that when one uses Dreamless Sleep for so long, its effects cease.

His feet touched the freezing floor, making shudders work themselves all over his body. Determined to get to his destination, he ignored it but dreaded on what he was about to do. In contrast to popular belief, the potions master didn't like the chilly atmosphere despite teaching in the dungeons for so long. In fact, he even disliked cold showers for its intensity of sudden temperature on his skin, but right now, he didn't give himself a choice for this matter. As for the other option to get rid of his problem, he had abstained himself from any pleasure, right after all the events that had happened. He didn't deserve anything after all.

He entered the washroom. As he removed his sweat-soaked clothing, he tried to distract himself; desperately wanting his mind to stop drifting off to the occasion that night held for him but utterly failed. It didn't help that his subconscious betrayed him as it devilishly taunted it in his head.

It was their anniversary.

He winced.

He turned on the spigot as angry pellets of chilly water encased him into a numbing sensation as his body involuntarily unwound from the feeling. He shut his eyes, attempting to just empty his head but his thoughts—ever so traitorous—plunged him into a memorabilia of how he ruined his own life and in return, broke the only person he cherished the most who had also loved him back.

He wasn't even trying to remember how long it's been but he somehow kept track.

Or maybe it's because he can't forget.

That it's been a year since he last saw her.

It's been a year since he last saw how broken she was because of him.

It's been a year since he last saw of her pain, of her fury, of her loathing of him.

And she did the right thing.

She had the right to leave him.

Hell, he was surprised that she didn't hex him to oblivion and that somehow made everything worse.

He didn't deserve her.

Even if his actions were caused by the curse left in the dark mark, he didn't deserve anything.

He rubbed his temple in frustration as the chilly water finally seeped into his being. He began to remove himself from the shower and dried himself when he had the feeling that he would be plagued by these recollections. As he dressed, every time he closed his eyes he can't help but remember, that he had immediately went to his study and brought out a bottle of Ogden's finest for he knew he had no other choice but to drown out his sorrows to lessen the pain as he let it run amok in his head. He breathed slowly.

He remembered the memories truly well.

Of how they first started, of how she began to talk to him through letters when he was still recovering. He recalled of how she began to ask him for advice about her job in the Ministry and of how he was first irritated at her insistent writing until they turned into the highlight of his day. He remembered the day when he realized he was in love with her for some time now when she finally confessed to him. He recalled of how their wedding day turned out, of how her job had to cut in their honey moon because the damn Ministry didn't seem to know how to operate without her, though he knew that it wasn't her fault. After all, the Wizarding World was standing on brittle ground after the war in which the brains of the Golden Trio was clearly needed to help it back up, if not for actual solution then rather as a voice as well as a distraction for the media since Boy Wonder had enough of them and the Weasley boy wasn't as appropriate as she was.

And although she arrived at the dead of night—tired, clearly lacking sleep, they still enjoyed the company that they had when they had time. That was, until he discovered the curse left in his dark mark.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he reminisced.

He couldn't tell Hermione how it bothered him. She had enough to deal with. What she needed was support and he will give it to her. When it had first started, he couldn't tell her of how it gave him headaches, random intervals of pain, and negative thoughts. He didn't tell her of how he sometimes hears whispers of doubt of her love in his mind that he had to drink just to make it stop. They plagued him so much that it cost him little to no sleep despite the potions that he took. These had all started when he found out he wasn't the only one.

"You don't look any better than I do," Lucius Malfoy mused tiredly, one sunny Saturday afternoon. "Though I must admit, at least my eyes don't look as if I've been trampled on by a hippogriff."

He snorted.

"In any degree, I don't spend my time in the mirror, gawking at my own appearance, Lucius."

"Touché." His friend smiled, however Snape noticed it didn't quite reach his eyes.

The Hogwarts professor straightened his posture once more before he began to speak. "Let me guess, you are not here simply for idle chatter aren't you?"

The Malfoy patriarch gazed wistfully at his companion. He had been hoping not to bring it up too soon, but since Severus already noticed; he might as well. "Astute as ever, I see…" he sighed. "Have you felt…any urges lately?"

He raised a brow. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Surely, you've been feeling it as well, Severus. I cannot be the only one… " He pinched the bridge of his nose as he exhaled. "Like…urges to do things you wouldn't normally do…things you wouldn't usually entertain…" The blonde swallowed. "I haven't been feeling myself as of late, and this," He revealed his dark mark to him, which looked as prominent as ever. "Is the cause of it all…"

Snape had a sinking feeling in his chest.

"Lucius," he said slowly, as he unconsciously held his own mark at his arm. "What did you do?"

The man before him went silent before audibly sighing, looking tense.

"I hurt them…" His friend whispered, his eyes looking lost at the memory. "Severus, I hurt my wife and my son...I didn't even know what I was doing until Cissa had cried out..." His jaw clenched. "If it weren't for Draco, I wouldn't have known what I have done."

He closed his eyes. "If there's one thing I know about myself, Severus, it would be that I would never hurt my own family…at least, not intentionally…" He began to direct his stare at the former spy. "And I have a feeling that the Dark Lord left us a little gift before he left."

What?

The former headmaster's mind was quickly loaded with questions. The teacup he had been drinking from earlier was set down as confusion filled him. He immediately wanted to know about all of this when he realized his question from earlier was not answered.

"Lucius, why are you here?" He asked quietly.

Silence stretched between them until Lucius rustled from his seat.

"I need a potion," He answered as he licked his lips. "That'll erase the dark mark and I need you to make it. I'm willing to invest how much you may ever need. I'm willing to do anything just to remove this damn thing."

"Why me? And why a potion? Why not research a spell and find its counter curse?"

"Severus, you surely know the answer to that, no one else would want business with a former death eater, you're the only one left that I know who wouldn't poison me when given the chance." He drawled distastefully. "As for why a potion: I've already exhausted my entire library and found no spell. I've even bought some ancient books containing dark magic which hinted from some to little to no answers. I've done everything I can, but alas, to no avail.

"Potions are the only thing I haven't looked up and I know those are more of your forte." He hesitated for a second before speaking. "I— I need your help, I've bitten off more than I could chew, and I'm tired of quarreling with my family. You need to make this Severus, if not for me, then for yourself or for your wife. I have no idea how this curse is triggered but once it starts, it won't easily stop. And I don't dare imagine what you would do under these effects…"

He offered his hand to him and steadily looked at him in the eye. "Will you do it Severus?"

The dour man studied him silently.

His influential companion under careful scrutiny seemed worn out and disheveled. His complexion was sallow and ragged along with his eyes sunken. He also appeared much thinner than normal as his robes appeared loose. The blonde didn't waver underneath his stare and was determined as much as the time of the battle when Snape had seen him. He sighed. He knew he would work on this sooner than later anyway but he hated how he used Hermione as a bargaining chip just to get what he wanted; though he begrudgingly must admit, that it was completely effective.

Looking at his friend's tired and weary eyes, he softened and somehow muttered, "I'll do it."

And that was when his own personal hell had started.