Hey guys! Wazzzzuuuuuuuup?! This week I had to fly down to good ole Florida for my Uncle's funeral. Which was really, really harsh. But, I got to meet all my mom's old friends and made new friends myself so, cool! Oh also, I played Black ops I and II for the first time EVER! And they were both really fun! I liked it! I also played FarCry 3 the day my friend got it and that was really fun! That's all jabber though, so I'll explain the purpose of this chapter:

Basically, I was writing the third chapter and became uninspired unfortunately. But then, it hit me. So I turned to JCScannell and I said "You know what? Ima write a CrackFic, Fweak!" ... And I did... Sooooooo

WARNING: Super crack! I'm serious, this jank be cray. Like, the normal human brain might explode. Which is why it's good ya'll probably aren't normal! Haha! No offense! I love you all soooooo much! You're awesome! Also, there is some DenNor if you squint!

Disclaimer: You're kidding, right? This is FanFic. The point of the website is that you don't anything. Evs what. I own nothing except Indie, Dumbo(not the elephant) and my fluffy little plot bunny *snuggles*

Alrighty, kids! Onto the story!


World Meeting Hall. Washington D.C. The United States Of America 13:23.

I was walking down the World Meeting hall, my AK-47 strapped to my back and my Shinatty-chan headband tied securely around my head(Rambo style), when all of a sudden I heard quacking, like the coo of a giraffe. Turning towards the sound, I saw it was none other than my arch-nemesis the infamous "Captain Eyebrows" and his sidekick "Alfred the Kid". I smirked as the adrenaline pumped through my veins, my hand twitching towards the bag of Cheetos at my hip.

"So we meet again, Eyebrows." I said staring down the snake-eyed Sally.

"So we do, Sailor Indie, so we do." The British pirate replied cordially, his pet rhinoceros mewing at his feet. He glanced towards where my hand was resting. "What is it you have there, Sailor?" He asked, sarcastic curiosity dripping from his voice.

I glanced down to where my weapon of choice lay just beneath my dancing fingertips. "Oh, this?" I asked innocently whilst removing the killing-machine from its holster. "This," I started slowly. "Is a pen."

And that's when all hell broke loose.

It turned into an all-out Western-style showdown; Me holding the bag of Cheetos just above my head in the priming position, and Eyebrows balancing a flamenco dancer on his fingertip. I stared him down and he I, until our eyeballs were practically melted from all the tension in the air. That is, until the referee came out of nowhere, blew his bacon flavored whistle, and put his hands in the time-out position.

"Time out, aru!" He called out the appropriate phrase to match his hands. "That's enough warming up for you two! Now get in the studio and we'll start recording, aru!" The Ref finished and walked away, his French maid dress swishing out behind him as he went. Me and the limey-badger stared each other down for a few seconds before tossing our artillery over our shoulders and, each grabbing a pint of beer, skipped off to our recording booth, arms slung over the others shoulder casually.

"Wait for me, Mama!" Alfred screeched as he ran to catch up with the pirate next to me. Eyebrows sighed as he turned to the cowboy next to him. He then reached into his European-shoulder-bag and pulled out a bucket, placing it on Alfred's head. I smiled at the gesture, my heart getting a warm feeling at the gift the blond-haired pirate bestowed upon his little sister.

"You won't believe the kinds of pianos I just licked!" My personal potato gardener exclaimed as he ran into the room, bright green whisk in hand.

"Oh, I bet we can." Eyebrows' hippo said in his deep baritone, as he stood to his full 8'3. I looked at the strange animal confused considering I could have sworn it was something else earlier. Oh well. My underling looked at the gargantuan mammal before him for a few seconds more before getting down on one knee and pulling out a black box from his overalls' pocket, presenting it to the animal.

"Dumbo," The German started. "I know it's only been mere moments, but I feel as though I've known you for a lifetime. Marry me." He said opening the box to reveal the Nerf gun concealed within (I never said how big the box was!). The giraffe(DAFRAG?!) took one look at the man in front of him before walking down the street and opening a five-star restaurant.

I ignored the Korean drama unfolding next to me and continued my trek down the dark, damp rock cave to the high school. As I got through the entrance, I was greeted by a slap to the face by a flyaway meatball that was suspiciously shaped like Italy's boot. As I picked the blob of organic matter up from its place on the floor, Norway ran up to me wearing an apron that read "Kiss the Brony"

"Dude, Indie, totally sorry all up in here mi amigo, but I legit need the meatball back, like, pronto." The magical nation said in his usual surfer accent. I shrugged and tossed the spherical-meat high in the air so he could catch it in his Nintendo 3DS. "Thanks!" He called as he started flying away. Probably back to his den.

"WATCH OUT!" A female voice shouted behind me. I spun around only to have a rubber duck floaty forced over my head. I peeked over the rubbery yellow material to see that my assailant was the town librarian, Lili Zwingli.

"Quickly maiden, speak to me of what ails thee!" I implored of her firmly. Her deep minty eyes bore into my hazel ones for three intense and serious moments before she gave me the answer I hungered for.

"They stole me lucky charms." She said adjusting the Viking helmet firmly on her head before grasping the ghostbusting equipment on her back and spraying its green foam around the premises. I marveled in it's splendor before shrugging and punching through the wall next to me, entering my bedroom.

I walked over to my closet and selected the finest chain mail I had in there before setting it ablaze on my floor and roasting marshmallows over its burning carcass. Once that was done, I decided to head to the woods for a little spelunking. As I made it into the clearing, Edward was already there and waiting for me.

"Indie, my dearest bonbon!" The red-clad alchemist called as he saw my face. He came up and attempted pulling me into an embrace but I punched him in the jaw rather than complying.

"Don't ever speak to me that way again!" I screamed in his face. "I'm going to live my life how I want! And you can't stop me!" I grabbed the spelunking gear from the backpack at my feet and situated it around myself.

And that's when all hell broke loose. Again.

You see, Edward had challenged me to a battle of the body's capabilities. In other words, dance. It started with the Argentinian tango, which turned into the Macarena as the battle got more brutal. And then as the battle's close drew nearer, the scrappy alchemist and I dying from the exertion of putting our all in, I challenged him to the ultimate feat, which would surely decide our fate here and now. Caramelldansen.

I filled my step with as much bounce as my body could take and placed my hands firmly beside my head in a manner reminiscent of a dog, then began the ritual as many others before me had done. Shaking my hips back and forth and flapping my hands in the most intricate manner; it was truly a site to behold.

As soon as I began bringing my hands up for the thunderous clap of rage, however, I was interrupted by a small Asian man in an Inuyasha cosplay.

"Come quickly, my lord! The barbarians are invading!" Kiku called to me from his place atop the ice-cream van.

"How worrisome." I mused to myself. "Let us make hast then." I declared as I clambered onto the back of the small man, who was now down on all fours in horsey mode. "For Alderean!" I screeched as we rode off into the dying sun

Me and my trusty man-steed rode for who knows how long, before we finally came up to the cottage where the wizard presides. I cautiously approached the small house before me, only to see that my apple pie had burned to a delicate crisp.

Seeing this as an opportunity, I began to sing the song of my people when all of a sudden, a wild Tamaki appeared! (What's up with all the Vic characters?)

"I ownay it uzway ooyay oohay ooktay eethay eekay!" The mighty wizard(Tamaki) accused. "Osay ivitgay itay ackbay!"

I backed up as the wizard advanced towards me, one diamond gloved hand outstretched in my direction. "Parley!" I shouted as he brought up his guitar to strike me down.

"Fine." Tamaki said, forgetting that he was supposed to speak in pig-latin. "You may- er, wait. Ooyay aymay argainbay utbay onlyay ithway unway erdway." The crafty wizard sneered

"Sparticus." I replied casually. The all-powerful Tamaki looked confused for only a moment or two, before suddenly in my unicorn flew. I hopped onto it's magical back and ate my Golden Grahams, as I watched the wizard below dance, and master, the funky chicken.

Flying soon became a bore to me, however, and I hopped lithely off the giant beast who was holding my bottom captive. As my decent neared its end, I landed delicately on a carousel and made myself some paella.

^v^v^v^v^ OMG! IZ A TYME SKEEEEEEEEP! ^v^v^v^v^

After I ate my paella, I headed over to the taco shack to see how the recording had gone. Once inside, I took in my surroundings and was glad to see it was like any other taco distributor:

On the left was torture chambers, in the right was a pottery painting station, and in the center was the throne where the king presides.

I walked past the fluffy yellow king and proceeded to the counter in the back. "Can I get an uber-epic-super-awesome crepe, please?" I asked the man at the counter.

"Oh, so you think just because I work here I have to do what you say?" The albino snapped back. "Well I don't!" Sighing, I went over to the other side of the counter and rubbed the lamp sitting there. A brown-haired genie came out and stabbed the rude employee 37 times in the chest.

"Is that all you need, badger?" The irritable women (this is Hungary if you couldn't tell.) asked coldly.

"Aye." I answered. The frustrated genie flitted back into her lamp and sulked in a miniature emo-corner. Feeling satisfied, I jogged over to the pinball machine and put some snickerdoodles on to bake. Just as I was dumping the dirt into the bowl however, my dentist ran up to me and grabbed onto my arm.

"BOING!" He shouted at me. I gave the tall Russian a strange look, and the small boy next to him translated.

"We know the pairing for this story!" The sailor-suit clad child said. I gasped at the news and gave them both a bewildered glare.

"Be this the truth, herald?" I interrogated the Russian while finishing up the game of Sudoku I was currently playing.

"KYA~" He shouted grasping my hands firmly. I danced with him in a circle before giving a heroic laugh and glomping the unsuspecting Lithuanian next to me.

"Tell me then, Pianoman!" I demanded as I played Monopoly with the poor man under me. The cross-dressing European gave me a huge smile before revealing to me the secret we've all been waiting for.

"It's-"


And that's when I was finally shaken awake by Germany who was in the seat next to mine.

"Indie, are you alright?" The blonde nation asked, the lightest bit of worry hinting in his usually cold eyes. I sat there blinking for a few moments and gathered my thoughts, trying to shake the tired out of my brain.

"Um, yeah I am." I started. "What happened? Why was I sleeping?" Upon hearing my question, Germany's face lost all previous tension and he gave me a tentative smile.

"You fell asleep on the way over to the restaurant and I didn't want to wake you because you looked worn out." He said giving me a small pat on the head. The gesture shocked me a little, but I got over it quickly and smiled back at him.

"Yeah, sorry, I sorta' woke up at four this morning just out of nervousness." I said flashing him a sheepish look. He merely gave me a small nod and started getting out of the car.

I was going to move on with my life after that was clear, but then I remembered that dream. Seriously, WTC brain? That didn't even make any sense! It played out like some sort of crackfic if I ever saw one. I mused to myself. The dream was really flipping weird after all. I mean seriously, 'Sailor Indie'? What am I smoking?

Whatever. I thought. If you want to come up with weird fantasies and make my life more awkward than it already was, then go right ahead. Just no more maid dresses. Please. I vented to my inner-self. All that food in the dream made me hungry though, so I too got out of the car and headed into the establishment.

Although I have to admit, I'm a little more than curious about that pairing thing…


Sooooo? What did you guys think? You know me, I'm always interested in feedback! So please, tell me what you thought! Also, if you have any suggestions for the 4th(previously 3rd) chapter, I would LOVE to hear them! Please!

Kay, for those of you who were a little confused with my advanced Pig-latin, here are translations!:

I ownay it uzway ooyay oohay ooktay eethey eekay= I know it was you who took the key.

Osay ivitgay itay ackbay= So give it back.

Ooyay aymay argainbay utbay onlyay ithway unway erdway= You may bargain but only with one word.

Alright! That's it for this week! It wasn't ultra lame, right? Please Review! It gives me happy butterflies! Even better, a Unicorn gets it's horn wheneveer you review, so do it for them guys. Do it for them. Love ya! 3