Author's Note: EARLY UPDATE! Luckily, I had some spare time and I was able to upload a bit early! This chapter was fun to write, but I think it's one of the only one's that Mikey's not in. I was going to add a little scene for him, but I figured I could save it for the next chapter when it's a bit longer! Just as a little note as well, while there is implied Leo/Karai I tried to make is as objective as possible so it's up to the reader however you want to see it! As always, I want to thank everyone who has read and supported the story! I'm planning the story to end around 24/25 chapters (maybe less). While I'm sad about nearing the final parts of the story, I'm happy to see how far it's come- from three years ago, to a long hiatus, and back today! I really appreicate the support! Thank you all so much! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Song quote from "Safe & Sound" by Taylor Swift ft. Civil Wars.

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A Turtle & His Sisyphus

...

"The war outside our door keeps raging on..."

...

/./././././././././././././././././

"He wants to revive the dead. And I have a feeling, I know exactly who he is thinking of."

"You can't be serious!" Donnie was the first to exclaim, slamming the medical file on the table. Shaking his head, his thoughts were scatters as he desperately tried to piece together. "It's not possible, there's no way. No, if he wanted this—this shouldn't—!"

"How did you conclude this, Karai?" Splinter was short, his gaze locking on hers. Examine every slight move she was making, almost as if he was waiting for her next 'strike'.

"Akio was the first subject, this I know for a fact. They knew I wanted the cure so that I could help him. It was strange, that once I had it, Akio disappeared. They said he was 'investigating' on his own. Yet, no one knows his location. Hun and the Dragons returned to their daily activities. Similarly, Bishop has not been seen since the night he took Michelangelo. Although Michelangelo is still being withheld at the warehouse, Bishop is not present. Goldburg was distracted; I was temporarily allowed access to get into his room. I found antibiotics, and administered it-."

"What?!" Donnie cried, defensively, "That could kill him! What were you-?!"

"Do not mistaken me for a fool, Donatello." Karai, venomously, spat back. "I was sure to read his updated medical file before hand. I took a great risk in my decision; I do not take it lightly. Michelangelo was already being administered it and he was responding well. Besides, I had to see myself. I had only a moment. I am unaware of what else is happening, or what they are doing, but was disoriented but better in shape.

"You said, 'temporality'. Why all of a sudden did they care what you thought about him?" Leonardo questioned. "Giving you access now and not weeks ago? After all, if you already think he's suspicious—why bother? Besides, I thought they gave you access to all of Michelangelo's files. What's stopping them?"

"He says they are 'delayed', and clearly, I was able to see him briefly. I am unsure of Bishop's motives. What I do know is that they are hiding. And, he is growing impatient in looking for you all. We are running out of time, and I'm afraid if we do not cooperate it will not end well for either of us. "

Donatello's voice cracked, as he slowly asked. "Do they think we're dead? Does Mikey think…"

"Most likely." Karai sighed, leaning back in her seat. "But without your bodies, I'm sure they believe otherwise. They were suspicious of Raphael's absence from that evening. I believe, we no longer have the upper hand in this game. Even if I could access Michelangelo's files, I cannot leave with them. And, to be fair, your lack of trust in me surely adds to it as well. They are cornering us, and Bishop knows it."

Raphael shook his head. He was sick of dancing around the subject. Just because she helped Leo and Don didn't scratch her off his list. He was sick of waiting. Sick of thinking what his youngest brother could be going through, and what they're planning for him. I don't care, this has got to end. Now. "So if I walk right in. Then this will all be fixed, right? I'll let them get me, Karai's already on the inside, she can get me out and I can get Mikey-."

"That's not happening." Leonardo immediately interjected. "If what Karai is saying is true, then they are already preparing to turn against us and Karai. From now on, Raphael, you are not investigating on your own-."

"Oh yeah that'll look good on my weekly performance reviews," Raphael rolled his eyes, frustrated with his brother's order. "The Nightwatcher just suddenly stops cooperating the same time they are pressuring for us to be found? If I stop showing up won't that just make them even more suspicious?"

"Let them hold out a little longer, Raph. Say you got a lead that they're near the farmhouse. Leatherhead I'm sure can fake a frequency out there, that'll give you a few extra days and a reason to 'leave' the city. Once Don and I are back in shape, we can return home and plan to infiltrate the warehouse. Every second we waste here, we risk them moving Mikey or worse." Leonardo paused. If he and his family leave, what happens to their 'alliance' with Karai? Her true intention is still a mystery to him, but is that enough to risk losing an ally for? She could have turned her back against us at any point. She could have let them take Raphael, but she didn't. She let us live. Why? Is she waiting for us to be completely vulnerable? Or is she truly attempting to make this work?

"I see. Your mind seems to be made then," Karai echoed, rising from her seat. "You are welcome to remain here for as long as you need. I understand if you need to discuss whether or not you all wish to continue to cooperate with me. Do understand that if you choose not to, I will not seek to harm you. But, I will also not jeopardize my clan to give you any more information that could be of value to you. I will leave you."

Karai swiftly began leaving the room, it wasn't until the door shut behind her that the silence lingered. Leonardo kept staring forward where Karai stood, lost in his own thoughts. Splinter closed his eyes, bowing his head. Donnie fidgeted, looking from Splinter to Leo. Raphael still had his arms crossed, impatiently waiting to her their thoughts.

"Well," Donnie was the first to speak, gaining everyone's attention. "I think…For Mikey's sake, we should keep cooperating with them. Her technology, their numbers—if we are going to attack in full force, and considering our conditions, we could use the help. Like Leo said, we'll figure out what to do after-."

Raphael shook his head, "It still doesn't feel right. It sounds like ya wanna sign a peace treaty with them, Don. Did ya forget this is the Foot?"

"Did you forget they're the ones who saved our lives-?" Donnie bitterly countered. "I don't like the idea as much as you, but what other choice did we have? If Karai was as twisted as the Shredder was, she would have let us die that night—she didn't."

"No, if she was as twisted she'd let us think we were all buddy-buddy then turn us right over to Bishop when it's 'convenient' to her!" Raphael exclaimed, reaching across the table to Michelangelo's mask, gripping it tightly. "Mikey would never, ever, take this off willingly. How do we even know if she's not the one conducting whatever the hell they're doing?! She knew this was happening for weeks! She's the one who reached out to Fearless, knowing he'd cave in and-!"

"And if she didn't, we'd have nothing." Leonardo cut him off, snapping his head to him. His voice, unmoving. "We can't think about what could have been. She's kept her word since the Shredder's death; she has yet to attack us directly. I believe she truly intends to keep peace with us, or at least not interfere with us. Don's right, at least until Mikey is back with us I can't risk us doing this totally alone."

"Are ya serious-?!"

"My sons," Splinter's voice was low, slowly rising his head back up. "You all bring valid observations. Raphael, you are correct in who she is and her actions against our family. If we were to consider an ally, we will continue to be cautious. Donatello and Leonardo are also correct; our family's safety is first. We cannot, in our condition, attack head-on without assistance. Leonardo, Karai appears to confine in you, personally. Perhaps, you can discover where her true intentions lie. Donatello, I believe she is also keeping something from us as well. Without putting yourself at risk, perhaps you can discover something we may not know. Raphael, be sure Mr. Jones and Ms. O'Neil are still safe and assist your brother. It is important we cooperate for now, and keep our guard up."

/././././././././././././././././

It all seemed so harmless. But, that's usually how these things start. Just a simple game, something to laugh at down the road. And we did, to be fair. Growing up, Mikey was always the "easiest" target, and I don't think that lightly. As kids, Mikey would get on Raph's nerves the most. He'd try to help Don, but only frustrate him when it wasn't going as planned. And for me—I guess, I told him I had better things to do like train.

Raph wanted to do his own thing.

Donnie wanted to learn and discover.

I wanted to train to be just as good as Splinter.

Mikey, he just wanted to be with us.

We were young, about seven, but still old enough to know right and wrong. It was a few weeks after April Fool's Day; clearly Mikey's favorite holiday. I'd say, that year, Mikey began to really challenge himself with his creativity. It was impressive.

For Don, he managed to sneak into his lab and was able to tinker with his work chair so that it would break when Donnie sat. And of course, when Donnie would try to get up and fix it…Mikey bugged is toolbox and covered it with—well, syrup. Pretty harmless, but Donnie can get pretty ticked off. It probably didn't help that outside his door, waiting for him, was a perfectly waxed floor—which Donnie fell right for, literally. He was convinced he got a nasty bruise from falling back so hard, but we was too busy laughing then.

Well, Raph wasn't for long.

Raph was too easy, Mikey bragged. Except, now with some experience, Mikey knew Raph would be on his guard. That's when he waited until Raph was sparing with me to sneak into his room and managed to fill his bed, drawers, and pillowcases with fake spiders. Classic, except Mikey was getting better with it. If that wasn't enough for Raph, one of spiders (of course the biggest one) was remote controlled. I don't even know, to this day, how and where Mikey managed to find it and freak Raph out so much to the point he had to run to me—me—to "kill" it. He chased Mikey the whole night until Splinter grounded Mikey and helped reassure Raph there were no more spiders. He found one a couple of weeks later, of course. Needless to say how that argument played out, blaming each other.

And then it was my turn to face the wrath of Michelangelo.

I have to admit; maybe I did let my guard down at bit. This was Mikey's day. Usually, I'd know when it was coming. But, it made him so happy, I could bear the few moments of humiliation. He got me good that year, pretty good actually. I was training with Sensei. I figured there'd be something lurking for me in my room, or the living room, or anywhere really. I was meditating, really learning how to center myself. It was quiet, super quiet. Then, all of a sudden, I felt ice-cold water soak me from head to toe. I was so freaked out I jumped to my feet and stumbled back. Besides the shock from the water, I couldn't help but see the culprits! Master Splinter was actually in on it! He and Mikey were both laughing. I felt like an idiot, and betrayed a bit. But, you know, I haven't seen Sensei laugh that hard in a while.

Everything seemed so harmless then. Training wasn't as rigors yet, we were still young enough to not be fully aware of the world. I wasn't leader, yet. Raph and I hung out all the time, like best friends. Donnie, at the peak of his learning, was so excited to show us what he learned to do—except for that toaster. Mikey, he was happy every freakin' day.

But you weren't, right? There's no way someone could be that happy all the time. Smiling every day, just wanting to be with the family you love.

It all seemed so harmless, then.

When did Raph and I stop being best friends? When did learning for Donnie turn from fun to a necessarily, the line between life and death. When did showing your happiness, and love, turn into the very weapon that strikes back?

It all seemed so harmless.

Until it gets you killed.

Or worse.

/././././././././././././././././

Raphael couldn't sit anymore. He should be out there, doing whatever it takes to get his brother back. To find Bishop and put an end to this. Wandering around the building, he figured he might as well check in. Pulling out his phone, he quickly dialed.

"Raph! Man, it's good to hear ya!"

"Hey, Case." Raph smirked, it was good to hear his friend's voice. It's been weeks since they've seen Casey or April. Splinter thought it was for the best if Casey and April went home, away from the Foot—just in case. Of course, they kept in contact whenever possible. But it still didn't make things any easier. Just a reminder how far away from home we all are. "How's April? Ya two keepin' out of trouble?"

"April's been workin', trying to find out more info about the Gold-dick guy whatever-the hell-his-name-was. It hasn't been easy tryin' not to patrol or anythin'. Hasn't been the same without you guys. How's the others?"

"Well," Raph wondered how in depth he should be going. Don did warn that there was the possibility that their cells could be tapped like it was the other night. Better keep it casual. "Sensei's real quiet. Been trying to meditate a lot, hoping to reach Mikey like that. Don't know if it's actually workin' though. Leo's getting the hang of his hand, I think, but he still hates it. He's been worse, but havin' a hard time. So is Don; ya know him, rather drown in work than talk."

"How about you, man? You okay?"

"I'll be better when Mikey's home." Raphael shifted uncomfortably. It's bad enough not knowing what his brother's going through, but that they are planning on doing something worse? Why can't we just go get him now? I mean, why wait?

"Yeah. I feel ya. Look, Raph, he's tough, you know? They ain't gonna break him. The minute you guys need help, you better let us know—ya hear?"

I wish I could believe you, Case. It's not looking good. It really isn't.

"Ugh. The minute this shit is over, we're going to kick some Dragons and drink some good stuff. Maybe Mikey's tolerance got better."

"Don't even get me started, Case. Leo's still reprimanding me for bringing him home completely wasted—kept tellin' him to take it easy." Raphael chuckled at the memory. Splinter was away to see the Ancient One, so it was only Leo in charge. Perfect timing to get away with it, of course. It was a couple of months ago that he let Mikey come with him to hang out with Casey. Needless to say, trying to 'catch up' with them ended coming back up all over the dumpster and the rest of the way back to the lair. Man, I can still remember Leo's face when I brought him home. Wish I had a picture. Don wouldn't stop laughing.

Man, things were really that easy then.

"Well, I look forward to finding out. You'll call the sec you need anything, right?"

"Of course, Case. Tell April we said hi, alright? I gotta check on Don, anyway."

"You got it. Stay safe, alright?"

Can't make any promises.

/././././././././././././././././

Donatello sat anxiously at his desk. Besides the medical wing, Donnie found a strange comfort being within the walls of the labs. Not only was the technology impressive, it gave him a challenge—I mean, they're still using Stockman's work. Practically has 'flawed' written all over it.

"Ya keep fidgeting like that then I'll really make ya sit still." Raphael grumbled. He was dressed in his under armor from his Nightwatcher suit, even though he knew he wasn't allowed to leave. He shook his head, trying not to get worked up over their situation. What the hell good can I do here? Helping Don? I can't do computer crap. Looking over at Don, he was still shaking his leg and staring at some of the files Karai was able to retrieve. Raphael couldn't remember the last time he saw Don actually rest ever since he gained consciousness. Maybe this is what Sensei meant by 'helping' him.

"So," Raphael tried to perk up, retrieving his sai. "Ya feel like sparing?"

"No." Short and quick, his eyes never shifted from the file.

Well. This is going well.

"Alright," Raphael attempted again, grabbing a nearby chair and settled it beside his younger brother. "how about ya give me something to do then?"

"I can handle this on my own, thanks."

Just combine Leo's stubbornness, with a dash of Mikey's annoyance, and you get a persistent Don who won't listen to ya. Let's try a change of pace…

Leaning back, Raph groaned. "Well, since ya don't have the sling anymore I'm assuming ya taking your meds?"

"Can't, remember? Genetic mutation."

"Oh, right." Raphael bashfully grumbled, feeling like an idiot for nearly forgetting. While Leatherhead and some of the medical team believed it would be harmless, Donnie was apprehensive—refusing to take any kind of drugs. No matter how reassuring Leatherhead was, Donnie did not budge. He insisted all the medical attention should be on Leo, and focusing on his recovery. Typical Donnie. Always thinkin' a step ahead for someone else other than himself.

"I'm fine, Raph. Honest. If I wasn't I know better than to hide it." Donnie offered a small smile to reassure. "Leatherhead left his laptop for me to use, just in case I needed to look up anything without the Foot knowing. I just really want to see if I can hack into the warehouse's data files and see if I can get an update on Mikey's medical record. That is, if they are uploading it somewhere. I can't imagine it's just hand written and filed, but anything is possible."

"Wait, isn't that the opposite of what we should be doin'? Won't they figure out it's coming from Foot, and we'll get caught?"

"Of course," Donnie shrugged. "Technically, the Foot is allied with Goldburg's people. If I could find the identification or a serial code, I could pretend to be someone who works here and see what I can see. If it's nothing, I can always just hack into a higher up's ID—such as, Karai's for example, and see what I can find. Don't worry; I wouldn't do anything that would risk exposing us. I just need to do something, anything. I feel fine, why do we have to stay here longer than we need to?"

"Probably cause' you and Leo can't fight yet."

"I guess I should be taking you up on the spar offer then, huh?" With one final click, Donnie hesitantly rose to his feet. Retrieving his bo, he shrugged. "I got twenty minutes as it downloads."

"Ya sure? Ya don't have to." Raph carefully asked. Sure, Don didn't look as awful as he did weeks ago. But that didn't stop him from worrying about his younger brother. "It's okay to not be ready, bro. Look, Don, ya can talk to me about-."

"I know," Cutting him off, Donnie sighed. "I know…I just keep thinking about that night. I keep thinking about Mikey, and how every second passes we aren't getting any closer to bringing him home. And honestly, I'm fine, Raph. You don't have to worry about me."

"Too late," Raph mumbled, lowering his voice. "I should…I should have been there. That night."

"Don't go there," Donnie insisted, "Please. Don't. You were doing what needed to be done. We can't do this, not until Mikey's home. Right?"

"Yeah, right. Let's see if how good your arm is." Raphael forced a smile, firming his defensive stance. Don always just got it, huh?

"Geez, I'm not that bad. I've been though worse. I mean, I ate Mikey's birthday-cake-with-cheese-pizza and didn't die so, that's there." Donnie teased, trying to laugh. "Come on. The faster I can fight, the quicker we can get back to work."

Raphael smirked, as Donnie gave a short nod of approval as the two began sparing. Outside of the room, Splinter watched his sons. Praying, that he soon will see his family together again.

/././././././././././././././././

Leonardo retreated back into his "room", which made him feel even more uneasy to call it that. He's the only one still in the medical wing, but after he awoke they ended up putting all their cots in the same room and sleeping together. It helped, especially early when the aftermath from the poison would hit. Donnie was more sick than Leo was, but that didn't stop him from being woken up dead in the night having chills and sweating from it.

He felt at peace when he was alone. Ever since he awoke, he's always had somebody with him. Whether it was Splinter, silently praying for his recovery, or Donatello who'd frantically check his condition and his 'adjustment' to his prosthetic. Sometimes, it was Raphael who'd sit at his bedside and tell him of the events that happened—both avoiding the questions no one dared asked.

Is Mikey okay? Does anyone know? Have you seen him? Can you feel him?

Do you think they're hurting him? Does he remember us? Does he think we abandoned him?

Does he think Don's dead? That I'm dead?

Is he dead?

He shook his head. Master Splinter said it was of no use to flood his thoughts with hypotheticals.

"You wanted to speak with me, Leonardo." Karai carefully centered the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

"Yes," Leo rose from his bed, unknowingly tracing his fingers over the metal plate on his other wrist. His voice didn't falter, though, as he looked back up at her. "I…I haven't had to the chance to speak with you, privately, since I awoke. Everyone here, especially the medical team has been extremely helpful. I was…surprised given our past history with the-."

"As I said earlier, those who remained loyal to the true Shredder returned to Japan in hopes of his return. Not many remained loyal here. Those who did are those who have made good lives here. I look out for those who dedicated their lives to this clan."

"Is that why this Akio is so important to you?"

"I…" Karai struggled to find the words. "I suppose so. If it weren't for him, I would be left with nothing, no one. He kept the morale, so to speak. Whatever his fate, I will bring justice to the ones who have done this to him."

"Then, I need to know something, Karai. And I need the truth."

"I would expect nothing less." Karai shrugged, leaning against the door. She kept her distance, but her voice was welcoming. She gave a short nod, watching him. "What do you wish to know?"

"If this is some game," Leonardo tensed, testing the muscles of his new hand to grip his katana by his side. "Or a sick trap to get all of us killed—end it. Right. Now."

"You still doubt me," Karai mused, almost seeming amused by Leonardo's dark demeanor. "After everything? I'm not surprised. I've given you no reassurance not to, after all."

Even after all the years he's known her, Leo couldn't help but feel so lost. He believes a good in her, he's seen her many times. Yet, she will not hesitate to be merciless. His muscle twitches. He blamed the mechanics. "Then stop toying with me! As appreciative I am for your allowance of my family and I to heal here, your silence and disappearance with Raphael is unsettling, to say the least. You listen to me, and you listen right now. I'm no pawn, Karai, and neither is my family for that matter. If you think these 'acts' are just ways for us to help you advance your in game, then you've miscalculated."

"You are truly blinded by your reservations, but more so with your fear." Slowly, she began carefully moving closer to him. Once Leonardo took a step back, she halted. "It was easy, at the time, to use that against you. Your weakness walks beside you everyday. It is honorable, but it makes you weak. Look at the facts. Have I done nothing but help you in these past weeks? You would have nothing if I didn't extend the information to you. In fact you would be dead, if not for me."

"What makes you so sure of that?"

Karai hesitated, until she finally spoke, smoothly yet softly, "Bishop did not want to drug, he wanted to torture and kill. I suggested a drug to extend the time, and duration it would take. He wanted to see what made you tick, what would make you break. I told him what would get you best…I suggested your family and your brother just happened to be nearby."

The world completely froze. As if he was swiftly kicked in the gut, Leonardo found himself stumbling back down on the bed. After everything his brother went through, the pain and suffering, and for what? It could have been me. It was supposed to be me. Oh, God. Why wasn't it me? It. Should. Have. Been. Me. Barely composing himself his face paled, trying to find his voice. "You...You stopped Bishop from coming after me? You…You-!"

Like thunder, Leo shot right back up in a loud growl. Fast like lighting, he was glad for a moment to have his prosthetic—feeling his grasp claw at her arm, twisting it back as he pinned her against the wall. Leaning in close, he whispered darkly, "You knew, and you allowed my brother to suffer in my place! You knew and put my family at risk-! What makes you think that I-?"

"You do not understand," Karai cut off, trying to turn her head she matched his tone. "I knew if you were the one they wanted, there would be no way I could stop him or have any chance of saving Akio. No matter what, the rest of your family would never agree to cooperate with me. Using your brothers would only-."

Leonardo twisted tighter, feeling himself tremble with rage. "My brothers are no one's pawns. Who the hell do you think you are to—?"

"You're letting your emotions blind you, and make you deaf. You are not understanding." Karai hissed, fighting any grimace of pain. "Let me say this, since you appear to have trouble comprehending it. If I wanted you dead, it would have happened already. I don't play games, Leonardo. If I were so willing for Michelangelo to be killed, I would have let him taken him and torture your brother that very evening. I could have revealed Raphael's alias at any point, and subject him to the same cruel methods."

"Then help me understand why!" Silence fell for a moment. Leonardo felt the weight of his own words, his mind replaying the events over and over. Slowly, he loosened his grasp on her. Taking a step back he looked away, "That night, on the rooftop. You came back. You…you saved my life. You saved Donatello's and my family. You gave us safety, medicine, protection. Why?"

Karai hesitated. Turning back around to him, she too was lost for a brief moment. Her eyes shifting from the ground back to him, softening once her gaze was away from his. For the second time, Leonardo felt her falter. He could feel her searching for the words, carefully. To her, he knew it was almost as if he struck her with his katana and she is strategizing how to strike back. Leonardo held his breath, and he wasn't sure why. She was human; she could feel and allow herself to say how she feels. That's being vulnerable, Leonardo understood. I know you're capable of better, Karai. I know you won't say it.

"You remind me of myself a long time ago." Karai's voice was soft as she slowly looked back at him. "When I first met you, you reminded me of what I wanted to be. Honor bound, loyal. You did it with ease, while I did not. I have had made many mistakes, and have done many things with no regret. I have threated the lives of your family; I nearly ended your own. And yet, your trust did not falter in me. You offered a truce. You even trusted my information prior to knowing my involvement. It's…fascinating to me, truly. You have spared my life many times when it was honorable to be taken. I…If you would have perished that night, your family would not be able to assist me any further from stopping Bishop. I should have been dead a long time ago. I could not watch you met a fate that was not just."

Leonardo knew how difficult this was for her. He could only imagine what kinds of conversations with the Shredder were like growing up, the idea of any kind of relationship if any. What was it like? Did he ever love, or support her? What is like, being so alone? He couldn't begin to imagine how his own life would be different without his family. She didn't need to say more, he understood. I hear you, Karai.

"And my brother's mask?" Leonardo carefully asked, "You risked a lot to see him, to get it. You lied easily about his location, and yet you return with this and reassurance of his safety. Why go through all that for something like this?"

"It matters to you, does it not?"

"Yes, it does." Leonardo's gaze never left hers, as he spoke. "Thank you. I…I'm sorry for attacking you. It wasn't right, I was…I'm sorry-."

"You are wise to keep your guard. It will surely keep you alive in these upcoming days."

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me," Karai mused, "How do you feel about allowing yourself to be caught?"

/././././././././././././././././././