After Shrek opened the door and went inside he immediately hissed and pulled his hoodie on covering his eyes. The room was repainted a shocking pink and the usual huge portraits of Fairy Godmother were still on the wall. Shrek blindly shuffled toward the front desk bumping into multiple chairs on the way there. Not wanting to uncover his eyes to see the abomination of a room he was in. Finally he bumped into something large and hard, Shrek peeked out and saw a very mystified elf receptionist sitting at the desk.

"Welcome to Fairy Godmother's where you're happily ever afters come true. Who are you and what is your purpose for coming?" The elf asked in a bored monotone voice. Shrek fully removed his hoodie and the elf gasped. "Holy crappity crip crap, are you Shrek, that one ogre that lives in the trash swamp in the middle of nowhere." Shrek nodded sadly. "Wow, you know, I've watched part of your live stream for like 5 seconds, but it was a good five seconds. It was the one where you were attempting to climb a tree. That...that was pretty interesting, right?" The elf asked trying to start a conversation.

"I was seeing if the branches could support a noose," Shrek said dead serious.

The elf had a sudden but brief shocked expression, "You know I never thought of you as the joker type, you're more of a satanist personality."

"I never joke, jokes bring laughter and I can only cry manly tears."

"Yeah sure," the elf said seemingly to lose interest in the fat green creature. "So what is the purpose of your visit?"

"I'm in need of a refill of my medication that I totally don't rely on," Shrek said pulling out the empty bottle. The elf glanced at the bottle and smirked a sly grin.

"Oh I see, but I'm sorry I can't help you, though my unfair boss can." He nodded at the double doors to the right. Shrek sighed deeply and trudged through the doors. The doors revealed the large interior of the factory, but Shrek could care less. He hadn't felt this depressed in his entire life, so all he really cared was finding the boss bitch and getting some pills. Finally after walking around a bit he heard a familiar enchanting voice coming from behind a door. Shrek leaned his massive noggin against the door and started listening to the conservation.

"It's okay mommy can help you with that dear," Shrek immediately recognized the sultry voice of Fairy Godmother, but it seemed she was talking to someone. He then heard a belt being unfastened and zipper being pulled down. Then he started hearing strange wet sucking sounds, there was no talking for awhile until he finally heard a girly moan come from behind the door. Suddenly the squelching noises started increasing in sound and there was another moan. Shrek was leaning so far against the door that he was on his tippy toes, his black converse perpendicular to the door. Finally there was one long finally moan before the sucking noises were replaced with the sound of hacking. After awhile the hacking stopped and the voice replied, "I swallowed as much as I could honey. There's no need to pout, mommy did as best as she could." Shrek dropped the bottle he was holding in surprise and it landed on the floor shattering into pieces.

Immediately the room became silent, Shrek just had enough time to lean back onto his feet before the door flew open. There stood Fairy Godmother in all her unholy beauty, but this time her hair was messed up and a strange smelling white liquid was trailing down her chin. She quickly pulled the door shut and looked both ways down the hall to see if anyone else was there. Finally she screamed, "WHAT DAFUQ IS A DUMBASS, BOOGER EATING, ASS FACED, SEWAGE SMELLING OGRE DOING OUTSIDE MY BED CHAMBERS!" Shrek immediately got on the floor and curled up in a ball and started sobbing.

"You're mean," he choked out.

"I know. What are you even doing here anyway?!" That's when she noticed the shattered bottle on the floor, her eyes lit up with devious light. "Ah, now I see. Here's the deal I'll refill your meds for free, but in return you never EVER tell any living soul of what you heard just now. IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Shrek nodded meekly tears rolling down his ogre cheeks. Fairy Godmother grinned, "good boy, I though you'd make the right decision." She then reached into her massive lacy bra and whipped out a humming bedazzled vibrator. "Oops, wrong magic wand, hee hee," she replied winking at Shrek, which made Shrek really want to die. She then put that one back and pulled out her regular star magic wand. With a mystical wave of the wand a large bottle of antidepressants appeared next to emo Shrek. "Kay glad that's finished, next time please call in beforehand." She then cracked her back and sighed in relief. "I think mommy's earned herself a drink." She then opened the door and stepped inside slamming it shut for good measure.

Shrek immediately popped off the lid and threw a hand full of meds in his mouth and swallowed it all in one gulp. Feeling a lot better Shrek got up and daintily dabbed away his tears. He then rushed out of the factory desperate to get home. The sun was already setting which meant that Shrek wasted his whole day in that pastel shop of horrors. He tore apart the bushes getting to his skateboard, because they deserved it. If Shrek had pain they deserved to have pain. Right when he was about to get on his sick board he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and saw that Pinocchio had texted him. Out of curiosity Shrek flipped open his shit phone and read the short text. Meeting 2 night at midnight, meet at the usual place. Shrek groaned internally, all he wanted was to go home to the swamp and take a nice hot emo mud bath. He argued with himself for awhile before he finally decided to go to the dumb meeting. So he hopped on his skate board and started towards the usual meeting place, the spooky scary cemetery.

End of Chapter Five