"Rose!" Someone was shaking her. "Rose!"

She felt groggy. As if she overslept or maybe hadn't slept enough. She wasn't sure because her mind felt fuzzy. Another shake.

"Rose!"

She recognized the voice. The man yelling her name. It was the…no! Her eyes snapped open. James! It was James, dressed as the old Doctor. He stopped shaking her and she pulled away.

"What did you do to me?" she demanded.

"Nothing. You blacked out," he said sounding concerned and maybe just a bit frightened.

Why was he doing this to her? Acting like the old Doctor? She couldn't handle much more of this. It was torture. The worst sort of torture.

"You did something! I know you did!"

"Rose," he said softly, reaching for her, but she scooted back. "Please." She searched his eyes for something…she wasn't sure what…something that would tell her what was going on, but all she saw was concern. Although…there was something different. "I…I just want to help you. Please, let me help you."

"Don't touch me!"

His shoulders sagged and his eyes grew sad.

"If that's what you want then I won't. I won't touch you."

He was still sitting on the bed, but he pulled away. She stayed where she was, trying to figure out why he was doing this. What was the point of torturing her? Maybe that's all he wanted. Maybe this was her punishment.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, not angry just…well…a bit scared.

"I want to help you," he said.

"No, I mean this," she indicated his outfit, "the clothes, the act, all of it. Are you trying to punish me for not helping you, for not finding you?"

"Punish you? Why would I punish you?"

"Because I didn't find you before that doctor got hold of you. You were taken through that crack and I didn't know. If I'd thought…if I'd known…"

"Rose," he said, reaching for her hand, but she pulled back and he stopped, dropping his own hand. "There was never any crack. You're not being punished. I'm the Doctor, please, you have to believe me."

"You're not the Doctor," her voice came out low, afraid.

He wasn't the Doctor. Couldn't be. He was James and this was all some elaborate game meant to torment her. It wasn't true. Couldn't possibly be true.

He caught her gaze and his eyes were trouble, troubled and so very sad and she tried not to let it get to her, not to care, but it was nearly impossible because in that moment he seemed so much like the old Doctor.

"I was going to wait to tell you what happened, but I can't help you like this."

Wait to tell her what happened? What the hell did that mean?

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember the dimension cannon?"

"Yeah."

Of course she remembered the dimension cannon. She'd been working on it for two years as a way to get back to the Doctor, but it didn't work and then the stars started to go out, one by one, and suddenly it started working. She used it to get back to him, to warn him, but also to return to him. Then there were the Daleks, the battle aboard the Crucible, and the meta-crisis. It was the happiest and worst day of her life.

"And that street where we saw each other, where I was shot by that Dalek. You remember that?"

"You weren't shot. The Doctor was shot," she pointed out and his eyes took on that concerned look again.

James shared those memories with the Doctor because he was created after that, but even so, he seemed so much like the Time Lord at the moment with all those little quirks.

"What do you remember after that? After I was shot?"

"You know what happened after that. You have the same memories as the Doctor."

"I want you to tell me what you remember."

Why? What was the point? He knew what happened the same as her. She drew her hands around her chest wishing he'd just leave her alone, but he was waiting. She took a breath, not wanting to relive those memories, but maybe if she did he'd leave her alone, for a while at least.

"Jack showed up and killed the Dalek and Donna was there. We helped the Doctor into the TARDIS and he regenerated. Well, kind of, he didn't change because he poured his remaining regeneration energy into his hand, the one that was cut off in that sword fight on Christmas eve."

"And then?"

She sighed.

"And then I told him why I was there, about the stars going out and that's when the Daleks took us aboard the Crucible. Donna was trapped in the TARDIS and they tried to destroy them, Donna and the TARDIS, but before they could she touched his hand and you grew out of it."

She grew quiet, hoping he wasn't going to make her continue. The last part was the worst and she didn't want to go over that, not with him. He was there, he knew what happened next.

"So, you think I'm the meta-crisis?"

She looked at him. He seemed concerned and…puzzled? A bit.

"You know you are," she snapped, glaring at him.

"And I what? Kidnapped you?"

"Saved me from Adam who was trying to kill me, but yeah, kidnapped me after that."

"So I could punish you?"

"Punish, torture, torment, that pretty much sums it up."

Her anger was returning and she was pretty close to slapping him, worse than the slap she gave the Doctor.

"Because I fell through a crack and I'm assuming it wasn't an ordinary crack."

He knew exactly what kind of crack it was! He fell through it! What the hell was he playing at?

"A rip in the skin of the universe! Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"I'm just trying to understand." She glared at him. "I know you're upset, but I really am just trying to make sense of things, of what you remember."

He knew perfectly well…wait. What the hell did he mean, what she remembered?

"What do you mean what I remember? You were there!"

"Yes, in your mind I was."

Hang on. What?

"What do you mean in my mind?"

"All your memories, everything you remember after I was shot, it's not real."

Not…no, that wasn't true, couldn't be true! She drew her knees up closer, fear creeping up her spine. She knew what happened! She remembered what happened!

"What?" her voice came out so quiet she wasn't sure if he heard her.

"You were taken. I've spent almost two years looking for you."

Almost two years? The entire time since the Crucible?

"No," she shook her head. "I don't believe you! That's not true! I remember what happened!"

"That is what happened, Rose. I…" his voice broke, startling her, "I remember seeing you at the other end of that dark street. I ran toward you and then I was shot. As I fell I saw you running toward me and Jack appeared, like you remember, killed the Dalek, but then I saw you…you had almost reached me when you were teleported."

"No," she said in a small voice, the strength of her argument draining because he looked so sincere, so worried and guilt ridden and there were tear forming in his eyes, but she didn't want to believe it.

"I tried to tell them, Jack and Donna, but I already started to regenerate. They took me into the TARDIS and I did regenerate, exactly the way you explained, which is strange. You weren't there so you shouldn't know unless…no, but no one can see inside the TARDIS that's impossible." She watched him argue with himself, trying to wrap her mind around the possibility. Could he be telling the truth? Could he actually be the Doctor? Part of her wanted to believe it, but she was afraid because if it wasn't true, if he was James, she wasn't sure she could survive that kind of pain, the pain she'd feel when she found out it was a lie.

"Rose," he said, startling her by grabbing her shoulders and gazing into her eyes as if he was searching for something. "Do you remember anything like that? Being teleported? Seeing anyone?"

"No," she said, still scared and a bit confused as her mind struggled to understand what was happening.

"You have to try, Rose. Really concentrate. They might've given you false memories, but the real ones are still there. You should be able to access them."

"I…" she trailed off, not entirely sure how she was supposed to do that. She remembered what she remembered. She couldn't remember something that didn't happen or…was he telling the truth?

"Please, try, you have to try," he begged with that look, the one that was filled with such concern. "Close your eyes." She still wasn't sure, but she closed her eyes. "Now, just try to remember, remember what really happened."

There was a sharp pain in her shoulder, not the same one as before, and she was falling, falling into darkness.


Standard Disclaimer.

Thank you to all my brilliant readers!

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