"We thought everything would be
forgotten, but I still remember your
claws running down my back.
I wonder if you still think about us,
the way I do.
How our legs would crash
into each other in the middle
of the night, and how we ended
up creating the moon in the
confines of our beds."
― Zaeema J. Hussain, The Sky Is Purple
...
Sasha's Cousins' back was to me as she stood in the kitchen the next day. I could hear the loud laughter from Sasha who was outside no doubt with Daryl. I wondered if they ever came in last night. I needed a cup of coffee in the worst way or another bottle of beer. Just her back to me as she stood washing dishes caused a rush of memories that were so vivid I knew I had to be hallucinating. I had to be.
"You go see Ms. Lori?"
"Why you ask me somethin like that. I thought we were done with that. We not done with that?"
"You said you'd be back and ten days more passed from the time you said you would be back. I actually count more than ten. More like 13days."
"Chonnie, I just got in here thinkin I was goin to get a better greetin than the one I'm gettin."
"No greetin here Mistah. My name Michonne to you. Not Chonne and not Chonnie."
"Turn yourself and look at me. You know I don't like talking to the back of you. I couldn't get here fast enough. Smell your cooking soon as the horse rested across the river. I couldn't get here fast enough I tell you Chonnie."
"I could be taken from here quick like. Sold when I am free. I stay here because of you. When you are gone I don't have you to protect me like you had promised you would. Your Daddy Grimes is sick and he got no strength to protect us all. Your Lord knows Ms. Ella is on God's own Medicine...I reckon we be holding on to our own predetermined fate if you didn't come back Rick."
"Turn yourself from that pot and look at me Chonnie. I didn't go see Miss Lori. I didn't. I did what you told me to do. I got the children to my sister Carol in Louisiana. They're safe. They've been askin and cryin after you. I'm not sure how much longer we can hold out before Mr. Negan from the bank come a knocking but I spent practically everything I had to have my sister Carol get the free papers forged for you and the kids. Daddy Grimes would likely keel over than free anyone. One thing I am not going to do is force anyone to follow me, us to Louisiana. If they want to be sold with the bank, they will be sold."
"I don't understand how I need papers if I am already free Rick. I don't understand."
"The kids are safe, Michonne." I couldn't bring myself after all the years to explain how I underhandedly maneuvered to have Michonne belong to me in more ways than she was ever aware.
There I stood holding wildflowers when she turned surprised. A look of relief flitted from her face and then a slow broad smile. I wasn't sure if it was at the flowers I held, the safety of the children, or just me. It always gave me an impression that it included everything. Everything.
"Nothing changed Chonnie. I still love you. Only you."
...
"My name ain't Chonnie or Chonne. My name is MICHONNE. Do I need to Taser your ass again? I got it right here just so you know, Buster! Keep standing there staring at me if you want with those tears running down your face. You step any closer to me I will shock you to back the FUCK up."
I blinked and I was in the kitchen with Cousin. Cousin has now informed me her name is Michonne and she has the Taser in her hand aimed at me. I had the distinct sensation that I was tased by this BIT-
Zap.
I was on the kitchen floor on one knee. She was trying to bring me down but the Taser malfunctioned the very same second the rods were deployed.
...
I really have no idea what the fuck was his problem. I wish I had somewhere else I could go but I am stuck here for the meantime. I had the worse headache and I kept having feelings of Deja Vu when I know damn well I didn't know him from any other man in a who's pink dick is this Police line up. I had to drink more of the Meryl Fresh Brew for my mind to calm.
I really need to cuss Sasha out. One good cussing, I thought to myself as I finished the dishes. Four plates and I don't remember eating anything...Just drinking. Sasha doesn't know how to cook and I don't remember cooking. I know full well I wouldn't eat Daryl's cooking without knowing how often he washed his hands and how he cleaned in general. Four plates.
Sasha and I grew up with a house full of men cousins and pretend uncles. It wasn't unusual for someone to try and creep in our bedroom and Bigmama was always close behind to drag them for the filth that they were. We didn't have Bigmama anymore and she trained us good to always fight. Scream if we have to, but die fighting. I was a fighter and Sasha too. We weren't scared to stab someone. We had to a few times. Makes me angry sometimes to think about how the women in my family had to depend on random men to make ends meet even when it meant sacrificing their children's safety to do it.
...
"Leave her be."
Rick stood in the doorway of the 4 room home that he built from the ground up for him and Michonne that was over an acre away from the main house that hid them from view. The home stood dwarf in size compared to his parents home but he would have it no other way. He wasn't looking for any attention. He wanted peace. He had his children who were healthy running about and Michonne, his life mate.
Ezekiel who tended to the chicken coop had told Rick to hurry. Rick didn't question. His children were running about playing near the main house as he strutted closer to their home. He commanded them to go to Mammy Mabel's Cabin that was across the way and stay until their mother came to round them up. They didn't question. They listened with no talk back. His bowleg gait soon moved into a hurried stride where he found Shane pestering Michonne as if she was just any slave woman to be had at whim.
"What?" Shane was startled by the command and the tone from his cousin Rick.
"I said Leave her be." Rick repeated.
"You ain't said nothing about having a fine thing like this out here. I travelled hundreds of miles and I think I would be fine to be warmed up just so with...what they call you? You got a name don't you?" Shane looked to Michonne for a response.
One thing Michonne learnt it was to never give her name. Rick told her to never do it. He said it was for her protection and if she was ever in a position and had to, she was to give the requestor any name but her own. He says if anyone found out about them and knew she was his preference it would show his weakness. She was his weakness. She had to be any random colored and she almost perfected the talk and mannerism as was expected. Speaking the way she did became habit and easy enough. She mostly stayed mute if she could. Very few words. She was far from Paris France which was so very different compared to her life in Georgia. Rick told her any person that had her name he would know there was trouble and would kill them dead. 'Chonnie" was how she was known by everyone on the plantation. Only Rick knew her name as Michonne Benton'. The former black poodle that could, read, write, recite poetry, swim and play the piano.
"Never mind her name. Let her be." Ricks hand began to twitch and his eyes narrowed.
"Never that serious to kill but I sure will fight you for her, cousin Rick."
"It is serious enough for me to kill you. Let her go and let her go now."
"So this is your bed warmer and you don't want to share? I get it. Way out here. Never married. Secluded like. Why in the hell did I eva decide to move to New York when life is real good right here in Georgia?"
Rick's relief wasn't evident to Shane when he had let her go. Michonne saw it. She felt it from Rick.
"Leave now and tell my Mammy I sent you her way. Go on. This is between me and Shane right now." Rick commanded Michonne. His eyes never leaving Shane. He felt the brush of Michonne's body go passed him as she did as told without looking back.
"There was talk...No one could understand why you didn't marry Ms. Lori Davidson. She spent 6 months in town and you never once tried to court her. A fine white woman like herself deserved to be courted. But oh no, Richard Sinclair Grimes the III stayed mostly on the plantation. I say you got most everything you need right here. Children too. How many of them lookin like you in the back of the house. I know damn well they can't be Senior Grimes. Ain't nothing workin on him...not even his mind."
"We goin to have a problem, let me know now, Shane."
"Shit, You using a gun to trying to get me to back off? I ain't trying to have any problems or cause any. You know there are laws in place against the very thing you doing. You just let me get a taste and I say we-"
Pow. Pow. Pow.
...
There was a fierceness in his cold blue eyes. I saw it then and I saw it now that it scared me for a moment. It made my spirit jump. I guess he did remember me Tazing him. He got up when the Taser jammed and got all in my face. All in my personal space. Pointing his finger close to my nose. I bit down hard enough. Hard enough that it stopped him. Stopped the uncontrollable rage. A simmer turning eventually into a slow rolling boil. His index finger in between my teeth. He was breathing heavy after his breath caught. The surprise of it all.
We didn't break eye contact and it was like time suspended. Stopped. It was just Us. The rest of his fingers touched the side of my face when I lessened my bite and his touch caused a whimper to escape from my very core that I hadn't known existed but it was awakened. I was overcome by something that felt very familiar and very intense being there like that with him.
There were moments I am sure that I did not blink and when I did, I found his lips closer to mine or mine closer to his. I released his finger all together when his lips brushed against the corner of my mouth.
I have no idea what the fuck we were doing or why as I pressed the point of the blade in to his side below his ribcage. He had to be taking my soul away from me. He had too. I don't even remember hearing the clank of the knife hitting the floor nor did he care that I pierced his flesh no deeper than a prick from a rose thorn, he bled like a slice to a thumb.
How do I know you? My mind wondered. How is it that I missed this? Need this from you? How is it that I am doing this-with you?
We were running into everything, trying to make way to his bedroom. Our bodies together. What was slow to light up was now a fiery inferno as we wildly escalated into a frenzied state. There was a moment that I realized that I was doing this with him because I have always done this with him.
...
"What in the hell do you want, Father Gabriel?" Daryl leaned against his mustang as he watched the man dressed in black with the white collar hesitantly saunter over and stood before him and Sasha that afternoon. Father Gabriel always stood erect with his hand clasped behind his back.
"I just wanted to invite you to Sunday Service. You and your lady friend. You are new in town?" His voice was almost a whisper as he spoke to Daryl but was more resolute once he found his footing staring in to warm eyes that belong to a warm being. Father Gabriel smiled warmly back at Sasha.
"Yes. Almost 24 hours new. My name is Sasha. I am here with my Cousin, Michonne who's inside with Rick." Sasha noticed a change in Father Gabriel facial expression even though it was slight, "Inside but not together, together." She clarified.
There was a brightness about her or maybe it was an Aura that he could see that was visible to Father Gabriel that shown brighter as he watched her eyes twinkle and her smile dance upon her lips. Her words her tone...pleasant.
"I am Father Gabriel. Where are you from Sasha?" Father Gabriel couldn't help but noticed the slight affect that Sasha had on him even though it was slight.
"Millen County. It's similar to hell I would guess. Once you are there you are stuck."
"But I see you have escaped."
"Not sure if I have if I don't get Michonne to Atlanta."
"Why Atlanta?"
"Why not?"
"Good a place as any, I suppose."
"Heard a lot about it and my Cousin's heart is set on getting there. Similar to Heaven, I suppose. We both ain't never been."
..
"I've helped you with your english."
"But you aren't any better with French." Michonne remarked in jest.
"How old are you now?" Rick asked walking alongside the riverbank with Michonne. They were both alone. The sky was clear and it was mid day 1852 on his sister large estate in the lower part of Louisiana.
"Why?"
"You never told me when you first came to America. You would never answer it in the letters I wrote to you."
"You are peculiar."
"My sister Carol is described as such. My father too. Never had it used on me. Not to my face."
"Peculiar thing it hasn't happened."
"First time I saw you. You had to be about 10? You stayed for two years. Mr. Devereaux and your father took you back to New York then three years later you come again for another two years. Then you leave for three years back to France and now..."
"You still aren't any the wiser about my age."
"I am twenty three." Rick reveals to Michonne.
"You are a man with possibility of a decent fortune. You certainly should be married by now. Opportunities of marriage certainly."
"I have had opportunities."
"What has happened?"
"Like the last time you were here I told you I would wait for you. I want no one but you."
"You are certainly unwell."
"My heart belongs to no other than you, Michonne. From the moment I learnt your name. A name like no other. My Chonne."
"My name is Michonne."
"You will always be My Chonne. If not on paper it will be here." Rick pointed to his chest which caused Michonne to look away from him. The sight of it all was hard for her and to hear it was just as unbearable, especially since she felt exactly the same for him as he for her.
Her breath caught when he took her hand and walked with her like that, hand in hand. It was exactly how he described in one of his letters to her. He had said he would like to hold her hand. He would like to walk and hold hands if she would give him the opportunity he would like to do that.
His hands were rough and warm. Different than the last time she felt them. The time that she had his hand touching her in places that she wanted to repeat but they were still too many steps away from the cabin to do it safely without prying eyes. The thought of those rough fingertips working the sensitive nubs of her nipples excited her and made her almost giddy. The callous palms lightly grazing her shoulders to finally watch the last of the material that concealed her body fall to the cabin floor before greedily reacquainting himself with every inch of her body with the back of his knuckles smoothing over her skin before reaching her rear to pull her close and squeeze.
Carol was a safe harbor for many. Her acres of land gave the appearance of a well oiled machine but it was where the peculiar could find refuge and live freely without the scrutiny of the world on the outside of the gates. She was a woman of means. She had her preference as well and he was disguised as her man servant that worked among the female servants of course. He could certainly read and write and he inspired her to help with runaway slaves whenever possible.
...
"Poodle. Mr. Devereaux refers to Mr. Benton' and his daughter Michonne Benton' as his French poodles. He's a very strange man." Carol sipped her tea in the sitting room eyeing her brother Rick who was standing by the window keeping eye on the gate waiting padding of hooves from a carriage to indicate the arrival of his beloved. It was 1854.
"Poodle?"
"Fancy dog. Very smart. Knows tricks. Stupid man doesn't realize the tricks he taught his poodles can get them killed here in the south. Reading and writing Mr. Benton' can play the violin and his daughter can play the piano. He has a very unusual relationship in general with Mr. Benton'. I know that he does it to distract people from seeing what is really going on."
"How so?"
"He is a man with means and yet he choses Mr. Benton' in more ways than natural. Years it's been that way. They are practically inseparable. I've known Mr. Devereaux for years. If anyone should know, I would know."
"Mr. Benton' has a daughter-Michonne."
"Don't be so naïve, Richard."
"You're speculating." Rick countered Carol's accusations.
"He has a preference for certain arrangements when he is here. You wouldn't have noticed because you are all eyes on Ms. Michonne. Reason why you are here now. Waiting for her arrival like an expectant father waiting on the birth of a son. Surprised you two hadn't created any the last time she was here. You were going about it like rabbits."
"How long have you known this about Mr. Devereaux that you are now making me privy to it?" Rick's face was turning red from embarrassment. He wanted to keep the topic away from him and the intimate details that his sister knew about his lost virginity to Michonne.
When Michonne had to leave, Rick spent all his time either on the Grimes Plantation trying to keep it viable or writing Michonne. There was no deviation. He was eager to see her again.
Carol responded. "He's so very peculiar. The moment he opens his mouth. His mannerisms are such. I always say we need more peculiarity to make the world a better place...I swear today is a hot day."
"I want to bring her back to Georgia with me. I was wondering how you think I could bring the topic up with Mr. Devereaux, my intentions?"
"Her father is Mr. Benton'. You're so closed minded on the concept of a truly free Negro and his offspring, little brother. The thought of asking a black man for permission hadn't even crossed your mind." Carol laughed a hearty laugh, watching her brother's face go stark red from embarrassment and anger.
"I am not leaving until I have Michonne."
"Well, if I am not mistaken I thought you had Michonne two years ago in the Cabin Down by Mason Lake."
"I asked you to put three lines in French. I didn't ask you to read my letter I was trying to write to her, Carol."
"Your secret will always be safe with me Little Brother."
"I have money. I will offer it to Mr. Benton' and if he refuses me then I will just take her. No law will stop me."
"Why in the hell would you want to do that? Take her where?"
"I want her Carol. I'm doing it for the same reason you have here for others but I want it for myself-or one would find in the deepest parts of Louisiana. But Georgia is home. I'll keep her on the plantation. I can keep her there."
"Louisiana is not the same as in Georgia. Michonne is not property Richard and she is neither a dog nor will she readily blend with the others in the field. You certainly can't bring her in the house with Daddy Grimes and Mama Ella. I don't care how sick those two are in health. You just can't. Michonne is free in spirit and in mind even though she moves around with the help of Mr. Devereaux here in the ignorant South, she is free. She was born that way and I don't think you really understand what that means."
"What kind of talk are you going on about..."
"Slavery is a sin."
"I don't treat anyone unfairly."
"They can't move freely and that is unfair."
"There is work that needs to be done."
"Without a choice to the worker it is called slavery. No wage, No-"
"I love her. I love her more than a want or a need. I love her more than my life."
"Whites of the South and the many in the north won't seem to understand why a handsome man of status such as yourself is living your life amongst negroes on the plantation and not married to a fine reputable white woman. To take Michonne-I am not sure she would be unwilling to follow you to Georgia's hell hole if you were to ask her- as you are proposing is basically saying you are to never have a legitimate heir. To actually create the FACADE would be dangerous for Michonne. You know that right? To marry a woman to keep society off your back. To stop the talk. It would be very dangerous for Michonne and any children begotten from your union when you sneak out at night to be with her. I never liked Ms Lori and I am glad you never entertained her. I have seen how our own mother operated throughout the years. I could never go back to Georgia and I can't bring myself to entertain any white man for the sake of appearances. Do you understand my peculiar talk?"
"I know they will talk about me behind my back. Not like I am around to care or will care."
"Makes life easier to live. Reason why I live my life right here in Louisiana. I am left alone to do as my heart desires."
...
A/N:
This is linking the idea of Mr. Nee gain or Mr. Negan in Chapter 12 that was briefly mentioned and fleshing out that story a bit more. Possible repeat reason for Michonne and Rick is due to Human Bondage element (Slavery).
I want to take this story further where Michonne is Queen of a small non existent continent and Rick/Richard a new guard gaining her trust or he lost her trust...hmmmm.
This story will carry elements of or has been carrying element of:
Purgatory/ hallucination/time Travel/Drug induced trip/Reincarnation or just whatever is in Merle's Brew...Whatever the reader wants to come away with is fine with me. I am just happy to have it read if down the road you are truly bored and want to give it a try.
This will eventually come full circle of where they truly are or were or why this experience is happening or being revealed.
