She couldn't believe it, Gordon, her husband, the man who had ignored her and caused her so much pain for so long, was standing in front of her. But... Had he been searching for her, or found her by chance? She quickly wiped her tears away and crossed her arms in front of her defensively. "What do you want Gordon?" She asked bitterly, determined not to leave herself open and vulnerable to him.
He winced at her tone, but it was nothing more than he deserved. He had feared she would refuse point blank to acknowledge him, so it was better than he'd expected. "I've come to apologise."
"Oh?" Still, she gave him nothing.
"And to explain."
She gave no response, merely staring at him, waiting for him to begin. He swallowed, realising the momentousness of the moment. He began explaining, telling her his reasons, just as he'd told Matron, though choosing his words carefully, knowing how pivotal his speech was, everything could change, for the better, or the worse. "I'm so so sorry Jill." He finished, becoming silent. He, their relationship, were in her hands now. He held his breath as he waited for her response, hoping he'd explained himself, hoping she'd understand.
"What do you want from me Gordon?!" She crossed her arms tighter in front of her, as if to protect herself from further hurt.
"I..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. He hadn't expected such a question.
"Do you want me to forgive you?" Her voice wavered, her composure, so delicately held together, crumbling. "Because I can forgive you, I think can understand."
"Thank you," he whispered, longing to reach out and take his distraught wife into his arms, but he knew he couldn't, she was still too defensive.
"Is that it?!" she laughed, a chocked, painful laugh, tears beginning to escape her. "You come here, after all the pain you've caused me, expecting me to forgive you, and that's it! What was it? Just to put your mind at rest? Clear your conscience?! You really don't care about me at all do you?!" She took a few steps backwards, breathing deeply, trying hard to control the sobs building painfully in her throat. This was it, the moment she'd feared since everything went wrong; the end of their relationship. He spoke then, so quietly she almost didn't hear the single word he uttered.
"No."
"What?" she spat harshly, determined not to give him any more emotion to destroy.
"No, that's not it." He spoke louder, firmly, hoping she'd believe him. "I didn't come here to ask for your forgiveness. I came to explain, to put things right. I want everything back to normal."
"You, you want our relationship... You want me?" Her tone lost all of its harshness, instead carrying a painful degree of vulnerability, difficult for him to listen to.
"Yes," he implored. "I love you Jill."
She shook her head, surprising him somewhat, taking a few more steps backwards, putting more distance between them. "I, I can't. What if you suddenly decide you can't cope again? You hurt me so much Gordon. I can't go through it all again."
"Jill..." he breathed her name sorrowfully. "Listen to me." He walked towards her and tentatively placed his hands on her folded arms, feeling her tense, but relieved she didn't pull away. He gazed into her eyes, swimming with tears and so full of hurt. The realisation of what he'd done to her chocked his next words and almost prevented them from being uttered. "Matron said something to me earlier. She made me realise, it's the present that's important, today. The past matters, yes, but it's not important, we can't dwell on what's happened, and we can't spend our time worrying about the future. If we live like that, it'll only lead to disappointment when things change and we realise we've let so many precious moments and opportunities slip by."
She bowed her head, absorbing his words. "Promise me. Promise me you'll never do anything like this again."
"I promise Jill. I've been an idiot, I can see it now. And I'm so sorry. But I promise I'll never hurt you again. You have to believe me. I love you too much."
Tears slid slowly down her cheeks, her lip quivering as she failed to hold onto them. Nervously, he slowly raised his hand to her cheek, giving her chance to pull away if she wanted to, but she remained still as he gently wiped away her tears. She let out a sob, falling forward into his arms, pressing her face to his shoulder, scarcely believing her Gordon was back.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her sobbing form, cursing himself for being so stupid, but so thankful he'd realised before it was too late. He promised himself, as he tightened his arms around her, that he'd never hurt this precious woman again.
OOOOO
Ken surveyed the reunited couple from his vantage point on the road. "Are they going to be okay Matron?"
"Yes," she replied with certainty, "They already are."
Fin
OOOOO
A/N: So this is the last chapter of the story! Massive thanks to all of you who have read and commented on this - it means such a lot. Apologies for taking so long to update. Hopefully I'll speed up with my other fics.
