Tracey found herself walking through the Factory. Grit and glass crunched under her boots and weak sunlight filtered through the filthy windows. She could hear traffic faintly outside and the scent of the Thames lay over everything. It was visceral and real and left her gasping at the fear and anger and pain that ripped through her. She turned a corner and saw the chair sitting under the overhead light, the rolling tray of surgical instruments sat nearby. The room narrowed until the chair and the tray of instruments were all she could see.
"Pleasant memories ducky?" Moriarty's lilting voice teased right in her ear from behind.
When she spun around she was alone and his voice echoed through the room laughing at her. "Oh come on pet, you can't tell me that wasn't the most alive you've ever felt when you were inches away from death." His voice was behind her again and she lurched away only to trip and fall into the chair.
He laughed again and she felt her arms burning with fresh cuts. "Each line so clean, so straight and your life slipping away a drop drop drop at a time."
She was shaking and then she realized it wasn't fear or anger making her shake, her body was literally being shaken and she snapped awake with Iolaus leaning over her, shaking her. Crying out in fear for her life again, Tracey's eyes snapped open, dilated and turned completely black as everything went blank and she attacked out of self-preservation. She swept her arm out and knocked him back from her, rolling with him until they stopped a little ways from their campsite and she straddled Iolaus's waist. One of Tracey's hands was spread over his chest to keep him from moving while her other swiftly unsheathed the dagger at her thigh and held it against his throat. The dust that was kicked up from their tumble scattered around them and settled slowly.
"You don't belong in this world! Leave me alone and die!" She snarled, slipping completely into her Elven tongue and making it no longer sound pleasing to listen to.
Tracey's hold on the dagger's hilt was so strong that her knuckles turned white and she started to give way to the need to kill the person who tormented her the most at this very second. Flexing her nails into the fabric of Iolaus's shirt to keep him in place, Tracey withdrew the knife from his throat and posed it over his heart, drawing satisfaction from the fearful look in his eyes because it was the same fear she hid from Moriarty when he was torturing her.
"I will have the peace I deserve..."
She was only vaguely aware of shouting around her and she was suddenly wrenched away from Iolaus and thrown bodily to the far side of the campsite. In mid-flight, Tracey lost her hold on her dagger and she thudded hard against a rather large boulder, becoming winded. She shook her head to dispel her clouded vision and gasped for air after it was forced from her lungs. Recovering quickly, Tracey looked up and bared her growing fangs at everyone in front of her, seeing only Moriarty's face instead of her friends'. She suddenly shed her cloak and shifted into a massive black tiger with piercing orange and yellow eyes. Roaring loudly and stalking around the campfire, Tracey tested them and herself and seeing how close she could get before they moved to defend themselves. She flexed her black ivory claws and swiped at them, feeling the need to protect herself and not show that she would be cowed anymore by her fears. Eying each of them in turn, Tracey picked out the one that she considered to be most of a threat to her survival and stalked toward Hercules, teeth bared and growls emanated from deep within her chest.
Hercules pulled his sword and stood his ground watching her warily while Atalanta nocked an arrow and aimed at her. Autolycus drew several short blades and Amphiaraus readied his spear. Tracey saw the sword and the knives glittering in the firelight and all she saw were scalpels. She didn't know what else to do and the sight of scalpels sent her over the edge. Charged forward with another roar to intimidate Hercules, Tracey lunged over the fire and then stood back on her hind legs to match his height. She brought up her paw, claws extended, to deliver a swipe to his broad and open chest but missed by inches and she came back down to the ground. Dirt was kicked up as she turned on her paws and charged Autolycus. He had been warned by both Artemis and herself that the knives were a very bad thing to have out around her, but here he was and she was losing her mind. In her eyes Autolycus was the closest in height, build and had the most knives in his hands so now he was her prime target and she would tear him to pieces when the opportunity presented itself.
Suddenly Artemis was between her and Autolycus her hands up and her mouth was moving. Tracey felt like she was trying to press through an invisible wall and Artemis collapsed to her knees her nose bleeding as she kept chanting. "Put the blades away! Now! I can't keep this up for very long!" She ground out and turned her face back to Tracey while Hercules sheathed his sword.
"Do it! Put them up now!." Hercules shouted and moved forward to help Artemis.
She shook her head frantically. "Don't touch me! She thinks you're someone else!"
She looked back to Tracey her body shaking as she tried to keep the shield up. Quite frustrated at not being able to get at her target, Tracey clawed viciously at the invisible shield and roared angrily. Falling back to onto her massive paws, she paced on long strides and growled, looking for another opening to attack from. Though the threat was somewhat lessened she didn't give up and started to stalk them in a wide birth, her head low and black fur rippling over her muscled body. Artemis slowly lowered her arms breathing hard. "Tracey… it's me, it's Artemis. You had a bad dream." She kept herself between Tracey and the others and crouched down low on the balls of her feet making herself less dominant and less threatening.
The massive, prowling tiger's ears flicked back and forth, listening to Artemis's voice but not stopping her pacing from side to side. Now Tracey's focus was all on Artemis and her claws were still visible and gleamed in the fire light. Time seemed to tick by until she slowly stopped moving and stood a few feet away, staring directly at Artemis, head low and studying everything. Tracey didn't see a present threat and so titled her head to the side until she was comfortable with the person in front of her and sat down on her hind legs and grunted several times as if she was giving in and submitting to something unseen by everyone.
Artemis moved forward very slowly hands held out low palms up. She smoothed her fingers through the thick fur around her cheeks and made soft soothing noises. "Legolas would be afraid of this Tracey. Legolas has never seen a tiger. Legolas needs you to be human for him." She murmured softly forcing herself to speak calmly.
The grunting continued until the tiger's tongue flicked over its sharp teeth and licked its lips. Laying down on the ground with her head tucked between her large paws, Tracey's furry body shuddered and tensed violently until her fur fell away and she reverted to her human form. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to hide herself from view and deeply pained breaths rattled her. She couldn't take Moriarty in her head anymore because it was too painful and all she wanted to do was vanish into the night and wake up in her bed at home.
"He... won't leave me alone..." Tracey cried, trying to stifle her words as she spoke to Artemis. "I can't make him go away..."
Artemis motioned to Hercules. "I need her cloak." She said and turned back to Tracey.
When Hercules handed her the cloak she covered Tracey in it and pulled her in close. "Shhh… shhh… Just breath now. I need you to breath slowly for me."
Tracey wrapped her arms around Artemis and tried to shrink back into her cloak and disappear into the folds of the fabric. Slowing her breathing until it was even again, she started to speak in hushed whispers.
"I tried to stay strong Artemis, but he won... Moriarty won." She said, looking up into Artemis's eyes. "He broke me... mentally. Not by taking his time and cutting me up with scalpels and burning me with alcohol..."
Artemis smoothed her hair back looking down at her eyes calm and reassuring. "He's dead Tracey, I made sure he's dead, thats a loss honey. You're still here and he's not, that's a win. We can heal you, we can pick up the pieces and put them back together. Do you you know what Kintsugi is?"
"No I don't..." Tracey replied with a sigh, sitting herself up again until she was sitting back on her heels. "I just want him gone, but these scars are just a constant reminder of what he did to me. How will that help me?"
She cautiously glanced at everyone as they stood around them before focusing on Artemis's face again. Artemis pulled the cloak up around her more securely and kept smoothing her hair back. "Kintsugi is the japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Just because a thing is broken doesn't mean it is not still beautiful and after a piece is repaired with Kintsugi it is stronger than the original piece. Moriarty may have broken you but we are going to fix what he damaged and make you stronger than he could have ever imagined." She spoke firmly but softly her eyes firm and intense.
"But until then I am your strength. Take your strength from me, I will not abandon you, I swear I will not let you stay broken. Ok? You believe in me right? You believe I won't let you stay hurt right?"
"Of course I do Artemis..." Tracey replied, trying to give her a smile but failing miserably. "You've always helped me when I was in pain and have always been there for me when I needed you... I'm just sorry I couldn't prevent this from happening before now, but I really did try."
She looked down at her scarred arms and winced a little. They felt tender, like she had actually gone through all the torture again, the scars even looked like they were a sharper and deeper shade of pinkish red and it was a little disturbing. Tracey looked up at Hercules and his friends and saw on their faces anger, but it was mixed with concern mostly.
"I'm sorry for putting your lives in danger, what I've done is unforgivable but I hope you'll at least try to."
They all looked between each other and after a moment Amphiaraus cleared his throat. "We had a friend, Thaddeus, he was born in battle and by the time he joined us he was more animal than human. We had to chain him every night or his nightmares controlled him. He escaped his bonds one night and gave me this." He moved his cloak to the side and pulled his shirt sleeve up to show a deep scar in the shape of human teeth.
He gave a rueful chuckle. "Granted you're a bit more dangerous but we're used to danger."
"How do we prevent this?" Hercules asked.
Artemis helped Tracey to her feet and arranged the cloak around her before wrapping an arm around her and leading her back to the fire. "If she's dreaming don't wake her, come get me. Don't touch her unless she invites you to and for god's sake don't flash knives at her."
Iolaus watched them warily as they all settled by the fire. "What happened to her that she's like this? One of the Gods curses?"
Artemis snorted and handed Tracey the bundle of linen strips she used to wrap herself in. "Hardly. Humanity can be far more cruel and devastatingly creative. An evil man tortured her and still does sometimes in her dreams."
Autolycus raised an eyebrow. "Should we ask what happened to the evil man?" He gave Tracey a significant look.
Tracey glanced at them while she wrapped the bandages around her body again and closed the cloak around herself, not to keep out the chilly night air but to hide herself again. Sitting down on her pallet again after straightening it out she took a deep breath and composed herself.
"Artemis killed him. We were sent to another place to fix it and make sure the man died because if he didn't than things were only going to get worse. Moriarty... a criminal consultant and criminal mastermind kidnapped me and our friend John Watson... The old factory we were kept in was dark, dank, and smelled like rust and black mold." Tracey answered, shuddering a little as she recounted the memories of their trip to London. "For no other reason but to keep Artemis and Sherlock at a distance from himself, Moriarty tortured John, carving, what I figured out was a map, into his chest... I thought that would be it until I woke up bound to a chair, my jacket gone and the same knives waiting to carve into my arms. He took his time cutting into me, even struck up a conversations as if we were drinking tea. I felt everything... trying to black out from the pain wasn't allowed, he just brought me back to consciousness."
She stopped and looked at them all in turn.
"Gassed so many times and dehydrated beyond healthy limits, I wretched on the ground and got slapped around til my lips were busted and a scalpel held to my eye with the promise of it being gouged out..." She continued, looking at Autolycus. "Tell me if that doesn't warrant a dislike for knives at all. I didn't even want Artemis to give me a dagger to protect myself with. I know he's dead, but the pain is still here... I know he's dead, but he still haunts me."
They stared at her horror etched across their faces, faces that had seen war, slaughter and the deprivations of various Gods. Atalanta cleared her throat. "You have the true Amazon Spirit. To have survived such and to still try to carry on. You have my respect."
The others murmured their assent then Autolycus looked at Artemis. "You killed him huh? I wouldn't have figured you for it."
Atalanta gave him a sharp poke and he frowned at her. "Oh get off it. It's not because she's a woman, I saw her sparring with you but look at her. She looks like someone's mother."
Artemis laughed. "Well technically I am someone's mother."
"Thank you Atalanta, I'm just sorry that I didn't have Hercules's strength. But I do have my resolve steeled and I'm going to make myself stronger with Artemis's help of course so this won't happen again." She looked at Iolaus and tried to smile. "Can you forgive me... if even a little?"
Iolaus squirmed a little and gave her a hesitant smile. "It's not your fault. Nothing to forgive."
Tracey bowed her head a little in gratitude to him and then looked to Artemis.
"I'm fine with starting Kintsugi whenever you are, but I'm not going back to sleep tonight so I'll stay up and keep watch."
Artemis looked up at the sky, the moon was still high and she shook her head. "Not tonight. I need some sleep and so does everyone else."
Hercules nodded and everyone dispersed themselves to their own bedrolls, Tracey watched Artemis settle down to sleep and realized she had dark circles under her eyes and there was still a little blood under her nose. She poked her gently in the cheek and then pulled a piece of gauze from her satchel and directed her attention to Artemis's nose.
"Is that blood because of the strain you were putting toward the shield a few minutes ago?" She asked quietly while the others shifted until they were comfortable. "You haven't been sleeping well have you?"
It was more of a statement than an actual question.
Artemis took the gauze and cleaned the blood away. "It's hard to do magic here without the Focus Items but there wasn't time to use a tool to direct the energy." She looked up at the moon and the white orb reflected in her eyes. "I had to draw the magic right from my own reserves. It takes a lot out of me."
"I'm sorry, I'll try to be more careful while we're here... now get some sleep and we'll make for the next temple in the morning. Hopefully you'll be refreshed in the morning." Tracey replied, throwing the used gauze into the fire and watching as it burned to ashes. "Good night."
Artemis reached over and squeezed her hand before rolling onto her side and drifted off.
