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So not happening!
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By Angelbloodlover
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~ Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
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Thomas Carlyle
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Chapter 5: I'm Keiko
"That wasn't hard to do." Orochimaru piped in, chatting about this like he was talking about something insignificant. As if life wasn't important. I looked at him with glazed eyes and got up with wobbly legs, my head turning, dizzy.
"I'm going to take a bath near the river." I spoke toneless, stumbling towards my destination. I wanted to clean myself and rest my tired six-year old body. This body couldn't handle all this stress, it was trying to shut itself down and if it weren't for my adult mind it would have succeed in turning me into a serial killer, an insane psychopath, not able to think individually, one who would follow orders, one who Orochimaru wanted.
I moved automatically, letting my ragged, bloodied rags drop on the ground as I stepped into the freezing water. A shudder escaped my chapped lips as I washed the blood away. I kept rubbing and rubbing until it became red, until it started to hurt and a wound appeared. It hurt and I was glad I could feel something. I wanted to feel more, guilt, anger, sadness, … something else than this scary emptiness. But it didn't came. Why wouldn't it come? Was my body that tired? Was my mind that tired?
I continued rubbing, hoping I would feel something, anything.
Rub-rub-rub-rub-rub-rub-rub! Keep rubbing!
And then my mind moved back to the trio, their lifeless eyes flashing before me. It was trying to convince me that I did the right thing. I spared them from their suffering, I saved them from being tortured even more, I helped them by killing them. I saved them from Orochimaru. I helped them. That's right, I helped them from suffering more, from being used as toys for him to play with.
And my heart was agreeing quietly. It was beating fast before but now it was a soft rhythm– Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum…
How many times did I dream about escaping Orochimaru? How many times did I try to formulate a plan?
Too many times.
There was no use in escaping, I was bound by him until I could defeat him. My heart started beating faster at the thought of a dead Orochimaru and I licked my lips, a wicked grin appearing on my face. I would kill him, I will be the one. No one else, me-me-me-me-me-me-me!
I came out of the river, water dripping down my hair, and saw a heap of fresh clothes. I didn't even care who brought it here, I only cared about the fact that they were bloodless. Upon inspecting it closer, I saw a dark blue flower-printed kimono with a light blue obi. Amazingly enough there was a brush with some blue flower clips. The very first disgustingly pretty clothes I received. Quietly, I draped the kimono over my strong body, obi tied around my waist and smoothed it out, feeling the silky satin on my finger tops and the pretty blue flowers embroidered on the kimono. Taking the brush, I started combing my hair, observing the beautiful environment near Konoha; the green grass, the high and mighty strong trees. The sweet air around me that seemed like heaven in comparison to the polluted air back in my old world. The flowers looked so vivid and gorgeous, the contrast of what I was, it made me want to touch them and feel the texture on my fingers, but I suppressed that childish feeling, that meaningless behavior. The clouds looked like cotton candy forced into weird figures, hanging in the air. Carefree. And without trouble.
What I would do to be a cloud…
Free from any burden and this hollow feeling inside of me that ached. Was this how it felt to feel absolutely nothing?
Sighing softly, I stopped brushing my hair and put the clips on both sides of my hair, keeping it in place. And then I burned the rest with the use of a small fire jutsu, it shouldn't exist. Those clothes had to disappear. With quiet movements, I padded to our camp, keeping an emotionless façade. I wouldn't let him get to me, not a fat chance. When I came back there were no dead bodies, no blood, no damage to the environment, no nothing. What the hell was up with that? It's as if nothing happened here…
Still, knowing that I kept quiet and listened to their conversation.
"Kumo had send one of their ambassadors to Konoha to sign a peace treaty." Sasori spoke in an irritated voice. When wasn't he annoyed or irritated?
"We could use this opportunity to get inside easier since they would be focusing their attention on the Kumo-nin."
Sasori glanced at me, "What will she do?"
"She has another assignment that I'll give her." Orochimaru spoke up, smirk plastered on his face.
"…"
"I want something that is in Konoha."
"Make sure she doesn't get captured." The puppet-user warned, eyes boring into mine.
Orochimaru answered confidently a wide grin on his mismatched face. "She won't."
"…Let's go."
I kept my questions to myself since he would brief me about this so-called mission. I knew without a doubt that it would be about a jutsu scroll, forbidden or lethal, or something about the Uchiha's, one of those two. Immortality and jutsu's were Orochimaru's life.
Orochimaru led the way since he used to live here and he took a path that I didn't even know about, not even from the manga or anime. It seemed it was one of those secret paths that were used in the Second Shinobi War or it could be one of his secret lab where he used to experiment on his fellow shinobi or kunoichi and civilians. Or worse, he could still use it. I forced those nasty images away, I didn't want any more gruesome things on my mind since I had enough of them.
"Your mission is to blend in with the other children, play or do whatever snot-nosed kids your age do. When my summon will come to you, you'll have to start with the mission. You'll have to take a sample of Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Itachi. Here are their pictures. You have one week." He looked serious at me, handing me two pictures that I recognized immediately. To my chagrin, his voice sounded so…
So…
..So human.
Shrugging those ideas away immediately, I looked him in the eyes seriously. Something caused Orochimaru to chuckle in amusement. "I need you to look like an innocent flower, Keiko-chan, not like a seasoned kunoichi, smile, we don't want you to get captured before you bring me what I need, now do we?" He taunted me with his too-sweetly voice of him, making me feel disgusted, seeing him react like that.
Though a really tiny part of me was glad for this chance. I couldn't wait and start the mission, where I would be away from the bastard for a week, where I could rest my tired body and mind alike, where I could sort everything out.
Where I could betray Orochimaru and destroy all his plans and dreams to become immortal.
The thought alone made me want to giggle ominously but I suppressed it, looking as calm as possible, it made a small part of me scared.
The pictures long forgotten in my kimono.
"Don't disappoint me, Keiko or you'll be sorry." He threatened me coldly, glaring at me with pure killer intent. I felt the urge to push a kunai through my head but I stubbornly refused to show any unease. Besides, I had felt much more sakki. I forced the tears back and smiled so wide and fake that it made my cheeks hurt (When was the last time I had smiled..?), "I won't sensei." I chirped happily –fakefakefake– while inside I was laughing right in his face. He'll never know what hit him.
"That's looking more like a child, now through that hole you'll come out in the park where other children are. Don't get too much attention on yourself." He spoke as his eyes move towards the small hole that would only fit my petite body.
I walked towards it, crouching down and saw a white blinding light coming out of it. I was half way through when I heard Sasori's voice, "Don't make me kill you brat."
I didn't care a bit for his stupid threat. He kept repeating it over and over, making the threat rather empty and pitiful. Why were ninja's so predictable? All they talk about are kills, deaths, jutsi's, so-called honor –lies!– and more kills. It was getting on my fucking nerves.
"Tch. Whatever." I replied stoic, ignoring the angry huff and the wicked laughter as I crawled towards the light.
My ears perked up when I heard laughter. Children. I wanted to be out of this darkness that was almost succeeding to crush my entire heart. When I was out of the small hole, the light made my eyes sting. I didn't even know I was in that dark place for such a long time. Rubbing furiously at them, I slowly opened my eye lids so my eyes could accustom to the light. Then my other senses were being invaded.
So many new smells; the flowers, the trees, the bushes, the air...
I let my hands stray on the grass, awing at the grass that was much more greener, luster and beautiful than back in that rotten base of Orochimaru. I let my eyes suck in everything from the playing children to the scolding mother. It was really refreshing to see so much innocence, so much happiness. It was like a fresh breath to my heart. A tiny smile appeared on my face at the tranquil feeling that was invading me. My eyes went back to the children. How I longed to be like them. They had nothing to fear, only the scolding of their parents or the childish bullying of some children. Never did they have to worry to fail at a jutsu and be hurt because of it, the smell of death and decay that invaded your nostrils, the innocence that crumbled one by one after killing people until nothing was left anymore. Pushing those negative thoughts away, I took a deep breath. It was such a long time ago since I had normal people around me, not counting the brainwashed ninja's who worked for Orochimaru. I forced my body to move but I was hesitating, my hands shaking as my eyes nervously moved towards the children. Come on! They are just children! What are you? Six? My mind screamed at me.
I was fucking afraid of children. This was ridiculous, a joke. Step by step I forced my feet to move towards the children who were running after each other, playing ninja. How ironic. Ninja's-to-be playing ninja. What I saw knocked the very breath out of me as I recognized one particularly boy.
He stood out like the sun. Literally.
All alone. Sad eyes following the children's every step. Shaking hands that were gripping the tree bark so hard, making his knuckles go white. Hair as blonde as the shining sun that was radiating warmth upon us. Lips trembling with every glare, snarl or accusation that was sent his way. Three whisker marks on his cheeks, marking him as the host of Kurama.
…Then his eyes met mine but I couldn't look away. His bright-blue eyes that would shine beautifully when he would grow up was now a dark cloudy blue where sadness, loneliness and pain was the only thing that was swirling around. The pure raw emotion made my heart beat faster and I quickly looked away. When I looked up he was gone.
…Strange.
What just happened?
A pretty-looking woman walked towards me, sometimes glancing towards the tree with a nasty glare but when she looked back at me the expression was replaced by a warm and gentle smile. "Dear, are you alright? I saw what happened and came to see if you were alright. That boy that you saw-" And the rest I had tuned out, my eyes never leaving that spot where Uzumaki Naruto was before.
The woman didn't seem to notice that I wasn't listening and frankly I could care less. Somehow, I wanted to see Naruto Uzumaki. I wanted to make his sad blue eyes twinkle with happiness. I wanted to make him laugh.
But most off all I wanted him to look nothing like me. Those eyes looked too much, it terrified me beyond words.
"I will. If you'll excuse me I need to go back to my mother." I spoke softly, ignoring her look of surprise at hearing me speak so formally. I knew I shouldn't have talked like that but I didn't care. I just wanted to find him.
And yet for the love of Kami, I didn't know why the urge was so big, it was forcing me, pushing me with their invincible tendrils.
I didn't know where to start looking but I knew that he couldn't have gone too far.
And so my personal mission started: find Uzumaki Naruto. How hard could it be? Find a small child. One child… in a village as big as my country.
-:-
I take it back, this was killing me!
I had to admit for a little shrimp he sure was difficult to find. "Ugh! Where the heck could he be?" I had the sudden urge to pull my hair from my scalp but that was not something a six-year old child would do. Keiko, keep your hands to yourself.
I had searched the entire park and the surrounding place but nothing.
Nada. Nope. Zero. Zilch.
The fact that I wasn't allowed to mold chakra made it harder than I thought. The Kage Bunshin no Jutsu would've been the perfect jutsu to solve this annoying problem but to keep hidden from the ANBU I had to behave like a small puny child. I couldn't afford to bring attention on me. A mischievous whisper in my head thought otherwise, it wanted me to screw up the mission Orochimaru gave me. No matter how badly I wanted to do it, it wouldn't be the smartest course of action. I had to be calm and rational. Petty revenges wouldn't work on him. I had to do it step by step. Destroy his dream slowly on until there was nothing left to crush.
Sighing quietly, I looked further. If I would be Uzumaki Naruto, where would I go?
"The Hokage Mountain!" I cried out in immense joy, ignoring the weird stares I got from the civilians and shinobi's alike who I passed by.
The path started to become steeper and steeper with every step I took. My heart bonked harder – why? – when I saw a curled up figure on top of the Yondaime. Was that him? With every step I took, my breathing was getting harder as if I had ran a marathon. It was him! I found Uzumaki Naruto! I did it!
When I was in front of him, he had jerked his head, eyes going wide in fear when he noticed me behind him but I ignored that extreme reaction, knowing that he had every right to do so. "Hey, I was looking for you, you know…" I spoke gently and softly, or I thought I sounded like it, not wanting to scare him away now that I had found him.
Naruto-kun, I feel that I should help you.
It was not because I wanted to become famous or use him to meet all the other Rookie Nine. No, it was much more than that. The fact was that this boy was so much like me, alone and no one to love. Secretly, I wanted to gain someone's affection, I wanted to be his precious person, I wanted him to be my precious person because if there was one thing I was positive about was the fact that Naruto would do absolutely everything in his power to keep his precious people safe. It may seem unfair that I had concluded this all way before being transported – my mind spat out in utter disgust and hatred – but my reasons to befriend him were real. The possibility of seeing and befriending someone from the Rookie Nine was a possibility that crossed my mind but that seemed to lessen as Orochimaru's training became ferocious, brutal, terrifying… I wanted to get out of that base and just breathe without thinking about training, revenge, plans, strategies, …
Sometimes I just wanted to become a peasant's daughter and forget about everything I had learned. I could grow up, study, get a job, marry someone and start a family. I could get my (almost) normal life back.
But another part of my mind wanted to get revenge for the many pain and torture that man bestowed me with. I wanted him to suffer just like he made me suffer. And the only way to do that was through heavy training, both physically and mentally, and overpower the treacherous snake.
Let me in, Naruto.
"You have the same eyes as me." I whispered quietly, a gentle breeze playing with our hairs.
Let's fight off the loneliness…
"Wanna be friends?"
…together.
Silence.
I didn't dare to utter another word, my serious and yet gentle eyes locked with his wide ones. Time seemed to stop for us both and when I thought he would never speak up a small whisper reached my ears. If it weren't for my good senses I wouldn't have heard him. "Sad pretty eyes…"
I felt a blush creep up my face but I ignored it. He was the first one who complimented me and it made me feel strangely beautiful. My eyes widened in horror as the thought of him and I crossed my mind. I felt like a pedophile. Great… So teacher, so student.
It seemed Naruto got it wrong since he looked down with pain evident in his eyes. Shit, I had to fix it! "My name is Keiko. What's yours?"
His eyes looked back at me, looking through my soul, trying to find a sniff of darkness. I didn't even notice my hands shaking until Naruto spoke up, indicating to my hands. "Why are your hands shaking?" His question was so serious it made me frown.
"Huh?"
When I looked down I noticed my shaking hands and tried to stop them. To my frustration it didn't work and I shakily ran a hand through my hair, feeling older than I was, which technically was true. When another pair of soft and warm hands engulfed mine I looked up with wide eyes at Naruto who was smiling softly at me. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I'll be your best friend. I'll fight off those monsters that you're afraid of, Keiko… -chan."
His voice was so honest, pure and wonderfully beautiful. It made my eyes tear up and I let them fall – fuck pride! – as he hesitantly hugged me. All those bottled-up frustrations, all those nightmares, all the pain just flowed down in the form of tears. I hiccupped, tightening my grip on his small, innocent body, wishing all the terrifying things away.
My mind was for the first time in three years devoid of any harsh whisper or cruel reality.
I felt free.
Laughter escaped my lips and I enjoyed it, drunk it in as tears of happiness and sadness came down. I didn't know why I was overreacting neither did I care. It felt so good, so wonderful to let it all out that I didn't even know how I was feeling anymore.
It seemed that Naruto knew immediately why I was so afraid and lonely. He knew about the monsters known as Orochimaru and Akatsuki.
He knew.
That boy was special, he had a beautiful and kind aura that literally attracted you like bees to honey, that much I knew and I would fight with everything I had to keep him at my side because at that moment Naruto brought back my humanity through his words. At that moment Naruto became my very first special precious friend, my little best friend.
For Naruto found the real me.
"Arigatou, Naruto-kun." I whispered softly, enjoying the warmth coming from him as the silence continued with the gentle breezing of the wind.
That night two children were huddled together, providing warmth to each other as they sat on top of the Yondaime under the starry sky.
