The pain was there. Like a dull ache in her heart. She knew why the Doctor did it, why he said those things. He was trying to save her. Trying to keep her from sacrificing herself for him, which she'd been prepared to do, but that didn't dull the blade. His words had cut through her, tearing open the wound she suffered when he walked away.
There was truth to his words, which was why they hurt so much. Not all of them. Some were for show. She knew that, but it was the truth that made her fall. Some day she might be able to forgive him, but not today and probably not any time soon.
She finished dressing, but didn't immediately head out into the living room. She knew she couldn't prolong the inevitable forever, but a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. A knock at her door drew her attention.
"Come in," she called, hoping it wasn't him.
The door opened and Sherlock stepped inside, carrying a tray with breakfast and a cuppa. She smiled, relief sighing out of her. He caught her gaze, returning her smile.
"I thought you might want breakfast in," he explained, carrying the tray across the room and setting it on her side table.
"Thank you."
She picked up the cup and took a drink. Then she patted the bed next to her and he sat down.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
She knew he was talking about her break down. He wouldn't come out and ask, at least, not using those words. He wasn't like that, not with her.
"Much." She glanced at the door. "Are they all still out there?"
He gazed at the door.
"Yes, but they'll be leaving soon," he replied.
"I know I…" She focused on her cup. "just need a bit more time."
Even though she hadn't come to terms with everything part of her was still sad to see them go. To see him go. It was like the end of a story. Their story. But after what he said she couldn't pick up where she left off.
"To get ready," Sherlock said.
To get ready? What did he mean by that?
"To what?" she asked, catching his gaze and there was…sadness in his eyes and a bit of fear. Why was he upset…and then she knew. "You think I'm going with them?"
"I know you care about him…love him," the last bit was said so low she almost didn't catch it.
She reached out and took his cheek, gazing into his eyes.
"I'm staying."
"Because of what the Doctor told you? You realize he was trying to save you."
She could tell that he didn't want to admit that, but he wouldn't lie to her.
"I thought about it, about leaving with him, but, the thing is, I decided to stay before he said those things. I want to stay here, with you."
He reached up, cupping her cheeks in his hands and gazed into her eyes.
"I love you," he said, barely above a whisper, almost as if he was afraid of her answer.
"And I love you," she replied.
She barely got the words out before he pulled her to his lips. They were soft and sweet. She wrapped one arm around his waist and reached up with the other, tangling her fingers though this dark hair. He wasn't desperate or hurried, but gentle and slow. He slid his hand from her cheek to her neck, caressing her skin with his thumb and when he deepened the kiss she very nearly melted into him.
A knock at the door brought her back from the edge, an edge she'd been just about to leap over as she found her hand on the top buttons of his shirt. She pulled away as the door opened. John popped his head in the room.
"I…" John glanced from her to Sherlock and back. The detective was still staring at her and had the look of someone who would be more than happy to pick up where they left off. She felt her cheeks flush and inwardly cursed herself. She glanced at Sherlock, he was smiling, which made her blush darken.
"Yes?" she snapped as she stood up, not intending to snap, but now she was growing more embarrassed by the second.
"I just wanted to let you know they're getting ready to leave," John said, the words coming out in a bit of a rush as he tried to figure out what he walked in on.
"Oh. Sorry, right. I'll be right out then."
John closed the door.
"You don't have to do this," Sherlock said.
She sighed and turned around to face him. He stood up.
"Yes, I do."
"Why? You could just let them go."
She could, and, yes, that would be easy, but she wanted this. Wanted the goodbye she didn't get before.
"We need closure. I need it. I didn't get it last time because he…" She glanced down.
"Walked away," Sherlock finished.
She caught his gaze.
"Exactly."
He stepped closer, cupping her cheeks as he gazed into her eyes.
"I'll never leave you. You know that, don't you?"
She smiled.
"Yeah, I do."
She hugged him and then turned around and headed to the door. A noise reached her as she gripped the handle. A noise she recognized. No! No, not again! She threw the door open and rushed into the living room. The TARDIS was dematerializing. John stood watching it. He turned to her.
"I…I'm sorry, Rose. He must have gone inside when I was talking to you."
Leaving. Again. Walking away without saying goodbye. She didn't have the same gut wrenching feeling she had the first time, but still…He didn't even say it. Didn't say goodbye.
She felt Sherlock take her hand, a feeling of déjà vu washing over her. Only, she glanced at the detective, this time was different. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. This time she hadn't been left with a copy of the man she loved. She was with the man she loved. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back enough to catch his gaze.
"Say it again," she said.
His eyes darted to John and then back to her.
"Come on," she begged. "Say it."
"I love you, Rose Tyler."
She laughed as John's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Then she grabbed Sherlock's lapels and pulled him down, kissing him soundly, knowing she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
Standard Disclaimer.
Thank you to all my brilliant readers!
Reviews are always welcome. :)
