Okay, one more chapter after this and it's all over...oh, sadness. :(
But...but...if anyone is interested in Doctor/Rose then I do have a Doctor/Rose story going. Rewriting the Past. It can be found on my profile page and is a what if the Doctor changed his past to include Rose.
And I have an idea for a new Sherlock/Rose story. I'll be starting on that soon-ish. :)
The Doctor raced around the control panel, flipping levers and pushing buttons. He needed to get out of there, back to his own universe, as quickly as possible. Madam Kovarian was dead, gone. He ran the scans last night.
The explosion caused by Amy overheating the engine core hadn't left any survivors. He wasn't happy about that, but she'd done what she thought she had to and he couldn't blame her for that. The debris from the ship broke down in the atmosphere much like the Sycorax ship on Christmas Eve all those years ago.
Still, he scanned the area, just to be sure. There was no trace of Madam Kovarian or the meta-crisis. They were gone. The woman taken by the explosion and his clone shot by John, which met there was no reason for him to be there.
"So, you're basically running away, again?" Amy asked.
"Yes," he replied, without looking up.
He didn't need to look at her to know that her arms were folded across her chest and she was giving him that not happy with your choice look. She got that a lot.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Places to go, things to do," he replied, offhandedly as he flipped another lever.
"Don't give me that, Doctor. You're not leaving because you have somewhere to be or something to do. You're running away."
Running away was what he knew. It kept him alive. Kept things like this from happening. Looking back never did any good. This had proven that.
"I've been running my whole life. I'm not about to stop now," he said.
"But-" she argued.
He rounded on her.
"What, Amy?" he snapped, eyeing her. "What?"
She dropped her arms. Her eyes changing from angry to concerned.
"I…I just thought-"
"Thought what? I'd stay, we'd talk, and somehow work through everything?" He turned back to the console, bowing his head as a heavy sigh escaped him. "Some things can't be taken back. Some things can't be forgiven and what I did to her," He growled in frustration, slamming his fist into the console, "Some things can't be forgiven."
He had no choice. It was her life or his heart. His heart had been lost a long time ago, left behind on a godforsaken beach. He couldn't let her give up her life for him.
"You don't know that," she said, taking a step toward him and then stopping, as if she thought better of it.
He stood up, eyeing her as he leaned against the console.
"Yes, I do. I was there. I saw the look in her eyes when I told her about River." He rubbed his hand across his forehead. "This is why I don't go back, why I never go back." He sighed, glancing at the floor. "No good comes of it. It just hurts, just causes pain for everyone."
"So, you're just going to leave?" she asked.
"Yeah," he turned back to the console, flipping another lever, "that's exactly what I'm going to do."
"What about her?"
He thought about that. She was hurt. Would be for a while. But she wasn't alone. She had him…Sherlock, and he loved her. Probably as much as the Doctor loved her. She makes me feel human. He understood that, more than anyone, because that's how she made the Doctor feel. They would have each other. Not a copy, but a new man. Someone without his baggage, someone she could move forward with. Have a life with.
"She'll be fine. She loves him and if anyone deserves to be happy, she does," he said.
"That's it then?" she asked in disbelief. "You just go back to your old life as if nothing happened?"
No. How could he? Rose would be there. She'd always be there, in the back of his mind. The only person who gave him the strength to go on. To fight the good fight. Knowing what he did would haunt him, but better him than her.
"Yes," he lied. "We did what we always do. We helped, we saved the day, and then we left."
She walked away then and he let her go. She wasn't happy, but he had to leave. He couldn't say goodbye. Not to her. Not to the woman he loved. He might have to let her go, but he didn't have to be happy about it. It was the right choice though. For her. He couldn't offer her what she wanted, not with River there, but the detective could offer her everything. Everything he couldn't.
He wiped a stray tear and then put in the coordinates, pushing all thoughts of Rose Tyler to the back of his mind. Running away from her, away from a life he could never have, because running was what he did best.
Standard Disclaimer.
Thank you to all my brilliant readers!
Reviews are always welcome. :)
