Stand By Me by Fullmetal Pyromaniac
Chapter fifteen
Meliodas doesn't look surprised, much to Elizabeth's confusion. She thought he would pale, maybe stutter a little, but no. He just looked tired, resigned to his fate. He looks out the window, then he asked for Elizabeth to sit with him.
"I knew you'd ask eventually, and you've shared your past with me, so I suppose it's only fair I do the same"
Elizabeth shuffled herself so her back was against the headrest, Meliodas took her hand, playing with it absentmindedly.
"I guess I should start at the very beginning. So, I was born to a big family, really rich, and vey influential in the business world. Although, we weren't very happy, at least I wasn't. My father had an affair with his secretary, isn't that always the way?, and she became pregnant with me. There was some argument between her, my father, and his wife. My father needed another heir for some reason, ditched my mother, and raised me. I don't know what happened to my mother, but I want to try and find her once I'm better.
"Everyone in my family hated me, my step-mother for ruining her perfect marriage, my brothers and sister for splitting the family, my father liked me for a bit- until he realised I didn't want to go into business, then he treated me like a burden, like he should have abandoned me along with my mother.
"Then I grew ill, really ill, so my parents contacted a doctor who diagnosed me with my illness and said I needed to go to a hospital immediately. My parents dropped me off here, and never came back. I didn't expect them to but it didn't mean it would hurt any less. You know the phrase, 'to get better, you have to want to get better?' well that's how it works with me and my illness. For a while I was just existing. In stasis, or purgatory, not getting any better or any worse. Then I met Liz.
"She had walked into my room accidentally, then she stayed to talk. Liz was bright, and witty, she was everything I needed. We pranked the nurses, stole little things like pens from the doctors, we'd race around on my wheelchair. We were young, but I loved her. There was this one time, when I had neglected to take my medicine, Liz yelled at me. Boy, could she yell. She told me that she didn't want me to die, that if I died it would make her miserable. I never forgot again.
"All I wanted was to make her happy, eventually we confessed and became girlfriend and boyfriend. Life was great. Too great. Liz was so energetic that I forgot she was ill. Sometimes I forgot we were in a hospital all together. She never told me, but slowly Liz's medication stopped working, and it was only a matter of time until she collapsed and died.
"I was doing so well, and Liz didn't want to upset me, so she kept it secret. Until the day she died. Merlin called for me one day and took me to Liz's room, where she was lying on her bed. It seemed like a sudden change, but looking back I just couldn't see what was happening to her. I was blinded, in a way"
Meliodas was shaking, obviously never telling someone this with so much detail. Elizabeth squeezed his hand gently, taking it in both of her own.
"You can stop if you want, you don't have to keep going. I understand"
He shook his head, "No, it's okay. I need to keep going"
Elizabeth nodded and squeezed his hand once more, Meliodas smiled gratefully.
"Thank you. Liz told me she had been keeping the severity of her illness a secret so that I wouldn't be upset. In the end I was anyway. I told her i love her, she told me she loved me too, and that we'd meet again, and she died. I went on a rampage, I completely trashed her room, then when I couldn't destroy anything else, I sat down and cried. It took me a long while to be okay again, Elizabeth. Even then, I'm not completely fine. It's usually the days around her death anniversary where I just don't want to get better.
"You've helped me, Elizabeth, you've helped me move on, and I can't thank you enough"
Meliodas took her hand and raised her knuckles to him mouth, kissing them gently and turning Elizabeth red. She looked away slightly, trying to hide her blush but failing.
"I haven't done much, honestly, it's all been yourself"
"Maybe so, but you gave me the boost that I needed. When you were with me after I collapsed, I could barely hear you, it was all so weird. But I could hear bits of what you were saying. You sounded so...sad" he looked away in shame, "I hated being the person that made you cry, and I'm sorry..."
Shaking her head, Elizabeth hugged Meliodas' side, burying her face into his shoulder. Meliodas stared down at her in shock, then blushed a little and hugged her closer to him. The two stayed like that for a while, simply taking in each others presence.
"How long are you on bed rest for?" Elizabeth asked, breaking the silence.
"Well, if I stick to taking my medicine, which I am by the way," he added when Elizabeth gave him a stare, "the day after tomorrow, so two days at least. Though if you're worried I'll get lonely in bed, you're always welcome to join me" and he waggled his eyebrows.
"Meliodas!"
...
Elizabeth went back to her room in time for dinner, leaving Meliodas alone. He had been alone since then, with a few nurses popping in now and again to check on him. It was midnight now, the hospital was quiet, for once.
Meliodas took a deep breath, he was feeling better, he was getting more sleep, he just felt better generally. The phone on his bedside table lit up with a notification from one of the games he played, once he had dismissed the app the background of Liz and him filled the phones screen. He spent a minute taking her in, her apple-red hair and round eyes.
The thing that alerted him most was that Meliodas didn't feel the urge to cry once.
He just felt...content. She hadn't lived the most full life, but he had done everything he could have to make Liz happy. And in the end she was, that was all that mattered. Liz wouldn't want him pining over her, the very fact he had once neglected his medicine had sent her into a rage, what would she think of him now?
"I'm sorry, I failed your memory" Meliodas whispered to himself, and the phone screen, "From now, I swear I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. For you and Elizabeth, and Diane, King, Ban, Gowther, Merlin, and Escanor."
Like a miraculous weight had vanished from his chest, Meliodas sat up and scrolled through his photographs. Grinning at the ones of him and Liz, then stopping at one he loved of him and Elizabeth. He held his finger on the photograph and selected change to background. It was weird seeing Elizabeth instead of Liz, but a change he was going to get used to.
Ban and King had taught him there was a difference to abandoning all thought of a loved one, to using someone to fill the gaping hole the loved one had left, and moving on.
Filling the gap only hurt you more, forgetting completely dissolved you like acid, because you couldn't forget them. Everything reminded you of them, it boiled you with regret and self hatred that you simply fell further into the darkness.
Moving on was different, you used your loved ones memory to fuel your own ambitions. To make yourself a better person, so that if they saw you they'd be so proud of you.
Ban and King had taught Meliodas that moving on didn't mean letting go completely, it meant living. It meant living with them in the background, cheering you on from the heavenly sideline. Because no one's ever completely gone, but sometimes you have to say goodbye, to move on.
With a small smile, and a light heart, Meliodas turned off his phone, placed it back on his bedside table, and fell into the deepest and best sleep he had experienced since Liz died.
Goodbye, Liz, for now...
End of chapter fifteen.
A.N. one of my favourite chapters, I have to say :) also: BAM SURPRISE CHAPTER! This hits very close to home for me;
Story time: about a month after my grandad died, I loved him very much, I was taking my grandmas dog for a walk. Round about this time I had read a book about this boy who at the end of the book had to deal with the death of his biological father, after sending off a lantern in his honour, the boy finds a white feather which he believes is from his father which gives him closure.
There were no birds in sight that day, but after turning to look at a ship coming into the port near my grandma's house, i found a pure white feather resting on the back of her jet black dog. I don't believe in heaven or hell, I believe in ghosts however, and I do believe my grandfather was watching over me that day, as weird as it sounds.
Okay, back to business, thank you for all the support lately, it's been insane! Thank you all so much for reviewing, following, favouriting, hell- even just reading!
I love you all so much, see you next time!
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- Ruby xxx
IMPORTANT INFORMATION: Due to popular demand, I got a twitter! Follow me Fullmetal_RUBY, I'll be posting nearly daily, with sneak peaks of future chapters, and little insights into my life :) see you on the tweeters!
