Chapter 33 - Solar Midnight
-I can see the truth in you…
Throw away the darkness. I wanna see you shining.
Marcus sat in relative darkness; it was a welcome companion and the reason he often chose to close his eyes. They were once one. Now he was darkness, nothingness - all that remained since Didyme's brilliant light was extinguished.
Such were his somber thoughts as he gazed unblinkingly at the two elegantly dancing flames before him. Fire. Ironically, it was one of his remaining amusements. True, he knew the chemical and physical mechanics behind its creation; however, fire seemed more than just the sum of its theoretical parts. It transcended scientific explanation to remain an exquisite mystery of beauty.
He came here to seek solitude. Distraction.
Isabella had presented him with a troublesome predicament. She had opened doors he had long closed and barred. He had relinquished hope, and quite frankly, found acceptance easier to embrace once he had.
But his gift wouldn't let him ignore that love was once again present in this place, and with love came hope. This was what Isabella had brought with her. And what Gianna had recently reclaimed.
It sparked something within him, not thoughts, fortunately, for Aro would have rooted them out and squashed them with his silver-tipped tongue. No, Isabella had resurrected emotions – and for vampire kind, emotions could be far more potent than thoughts.
Marcus recalled the first time Isabella and Edward stood before him. He did not wish for them to leave so soon – or ever. They were beacons, drawing him into their light and welcoming him back to Didyme's arms. Other than being reunited with his lost mate, nothing had made him feel as real as when Isabella and Edward were together in his presence.
Isabella, his immortal symbol of hope and love. Sired by him, part of him. His.
He felt the need to possess her light. Keep its soft glow of hope close. Even though Aro had succeeded in filling Isabella's mind and heart with doubts about Edward being her true mate, Marcus – and therefore Aro as well – knew the truth of their unbreakable bond. It mesmerized Marcus and drew him in like a moth to a consuming, red-hot flame.
Substance. Hope. Love. What was not his any longer - was it possible vicariously through Isabella?
No. She belonged to another, bound by a stronger tie than a sire bond.
His unfocused mind wistfully recalled watching children catch fireflies in glass jars on balmy summer nights. They delighted in the blinking glow, but all too soon, the captured insects ceased to shine, unhappy in captivity. Would Isabella's light cease as she was forced to long for Edward, who, due to Aro's lies, dwelled on the outside of her glass prison?
Worse yet, would Isabella succumb to the zeal of power, a strong lure and one that had, up to this point, been something she had not possessed? Aro dangled power like a carrot on a string in front of all he sought to join the ranks of the guard. Once ensnared, Chelsea guaranteed no one ever left. Hook, line and sinker...
Marcus hung his head. He and Didyme had learned after centuries that the pursuit of power didn't foster love; on the contrary, it smothered it. This was before Chelsea, and they had almost escaped.
Like himself and Didyme, Isabella and Edward's love was doomed if they remained in Volterra. Hearts hardened from the quest for control and ambition for domination in this place. In fact, he had already sensed that poisonous relationship budding between Isabella and Jane.
Suddenly, the outcome of Aro's plan became crystal clear: Edward would never leave this place without his one true mate. And while Chelsea could never break the bond between mates, she would eventually compel Edward's allegiance to the Volturi. By the time Bella sorted out her quandary around her newfound power while teasing apart the lies from the truth, Edward's fate would be sealed, his loyalty secured.
The tables would then be turned. Under a perfect storm of Aro and Chelsea's creation, with a heavy dose of Corin, no doubt, Edward will be trapped. Though tied to Bella, the pain of separation from Corin would be incapacitating for Edward. Bella would remain within the walls of Volterra as she would be no more abandon Edward than he would forsake her, caught in the unending game of domination and coerced submission.
Fireflies within the glass jar.
As a result, their love would wither, leaving Marcus once again in bitter darkness. He shifted in the unyielding wooden pew.
None of his revelation would be news to Aro if he were to read Marcus's thoughts; after all, Aro had skillfully crafted it all. While Marcus's emotions could roil undetected beneath his zombie-like appearance, however, his thoughts on the matter could no longer continue. He couldn't risk dwelling on any intentions to interfere...
Marcus closed his lids and focused on recreating the brilliance of the flame in all its different hues before his mind's eye, preventing his thoughts from wandering into forbidden arenas….
( ~ * ~ )
Despite her rambling thoughts, Edward's agonized wail had penetrated the stone walls and seeped into Bella's psyche.
She paced in her newly-appointed, private room like an agitated animal. The decorative accents of her surroundings were in shades of deep purple, and the 19th century furniture would certainly have made Mr. Darcy feel right at home. Sardonically, she couldn't help but wonder if the interior design was compliments of Edward or Alice's stolen memories. Neither the décor itself nor the unmistakable effort to make her feel "at home" brought her any comfort.
Edward.
Bella paused to close her eyes. She was still reeling from seeing him – here. Now.
Why?
She had grieved his loss while she burned on her pyre-bed. She had taken on the duty of safe-guarding the Cullens despite their non-interference in her fight to become a vampire. And now that the reality of Edward's so-called love was laid bare by his own admission, she had cut loose her denial about the true foundation of her and Edward's relationship. Aro was correct: it had been a misunderstanding.
She had swallowed all of the repulsive reality before her, and now all that remained was the undigested anger - anger she had effectively channeled into her talent.
Bella used this bitterness to build a wall around her, one that insured she would only rely on herself. Between her emotional barrier and her talent to physically repel others, her solitary confinement was all but guaranteed. And even though Edward's cry had shaken the walls of her fortress, the foundation was intact.
She resumed her pacing. Did she have the strength to confront him? Did he expect her to be the same ineffectual "Bella" that he faced the morning when he again denied her request to be changed? The naïve Bella who thought her husband loved her for who she was? The frail human who was nothing in comparison to her supernatural protector?
Her pacing quickened. So, he had come to claim her back ... But had he not given her up? She was not his to possess any longer.
Still, she couldn't deny the pull she felt to find him. His burning eyes peering from the back of her mind provoking her need to ask him "Why?" Why come for her now? Did he ever truly believe he loved her as she had believed in her love for him?
Embarrassment was the emotion that pushed itself into the forefront of her ubiquitous, racing mind. She felt so foolish, a victim of lies and manipulations from all sides. The last one to know.
But where was he now? What had become of him?
In her haste to retreat from the spotlight of the turret room, she had not considered his fate. And regardless of her conflicted feelings, she had a deep-seated need to know. Find him.
Spinning on her heels, Bella charged to her door – only to come face-to-face with Corin and Chelsea.
"Greetings, sister. You seem ... disconcerted," Corin remarked as she stood only inches from Bella.
"Edward. What has been done with him?"
"He is resting comfortably. It may interest you to know he has decided to join us. Remain here in Volterra," Chelsea added, attempting to gauge Bella's reaction to the news.
"Remain? In what capacity?" Bella questioned feeling her shield expand protectively in response to what her gut instinctively told her was a questionable development. The Edward she knew was too fiercely loyal to Carlisle to remain with the Volturi.
"Eventually as part of the guard. Just like yourself." Bella's expression went flat - guarded. "Does this displease you?" Corin asked. "We understand after the way you had been treated... But do not fret, the Masters will take steps to insure his behavior will be exemplary," Corin ventured.
"I must see him." Bella moved to circumvent the female vampires, but they shifted to block her movement.
"Now is not the best time," Corin stated flatly.
"He has asked for you to keep your distance," Chelsea added.
Bella's throat burned with parched thirst. Her extreme emotions ramped up at the perceived entrapment and evasive manner of her fellow guard members. "I don't acknowledge his request. I have the right to answers," Bella hissed.
"You will remain in your quarters, sister," Chelsea used a tone, along with her body language, to exert her accustomed position of authority. It was too risky for Bella to interact with Edward yet, his loyalty was not yet assured.
Energy charged and mounted within Bella over her stalemate with an obstinate Corin and Chelsea. Someone else wanted to control her now? No. Besides, this was not their concern. This was between her and Edward...
"Step aside," Bella growled allowing her raw newborn nature free reign.
As groomed warriors, Chelsea and Corin backed away from Bella's show of aggression. Space gave them the ability to recognize an attack and respond appropriately if needed.
"You will do as you are told, newborn," Chelsea insisted.
At the speed of light, Bella's gift tore through the limited space between them. The discharge of energy hit Corin and Chelsea so unexpectedly, the two had no warning. They lay unconscious at Bella's shoeless feet.
"I think not, sisters," Bella remarked to their supine forms as she stepped over them.
Reaching inward to retrieve Edward's scent came as second nature. Quickly, Bella ghosted through the corridors, her cloak fanning out behind her. No other guards were in sight as she determinedly navigated the maze of hallways seeking him out. She would not be denied at this point. Satisfaction with her strength and talent coursed through her, steeling her resolve to seek out what she wanted. God forbid anyone tried to thwart her fact-seeking mission.
Making her way to the doors of the main chamber, she followed Edward's scent past them and downward. The smell of the humans in their cells clamored for her attention, momentarily distracting her from Edward's trail. Her thirst was reaching a breaking point, but her quest overpowered her nature for the time being.
Time was precious; Bella slowed to a human-paced walk as she tracked Edward's location. Her swift feet made no sound as she stalked through the corridor.
No guards were stationed in the area where she had been held before her induction. Maybe it was true ... Edward had chosen to stay. Stay for her? Down here?
When she paused, an arm shot out from between the bars of a cell, snagging her shoulder, the heat of the touch briefly disoriented her.
"Bella!" It was Dominic. He sounded so relieved as his words rushed from his mouth. "Bella, I knew you'd come. You've got to get us out of here. They plan to kill Gianna. Leave me if you have to, but save her!"
"No!" Gianna protested from within the cell.
Still holding onto Bella's shoulder with an uncomfortably restrictive grip, Dominic turned his head and barked back at Gianna, "I have a fighting chance. You don't. Will you help?" his voice dropped to a whisper as his eyes sought Bella's. "Are you still behind those eyes ... somewhere?"
"I ... I'm ...," Bella stuttered distracted by her proximity to Edward. His scent familiar, beckoning - and foreign at the same time.
"Bella? What is it?"
She opened her mouth to answer Dominic, but instead a listless voice called her name from the next cell. "Bella? Love?"
She stiffened at the sound of his voice, her eyes darting to Dominic.
He swore they took on a wilder, almost panicked look. "Who is he?" Dominic asked in a hushed voice.
The heat of his touch reached her brain, unlocking her ability to respond. "Edward."
Dominic's dark eyes widened. This changed things... "They did something to him. Vampires named Corin and Chelsea." He watched Bella's expression harden slightly. The question burned in his mind: Why had Edward come?
"Where else would I be?" Edward's slurred words answered Dominic's silent question.
Dominic released Bella's shoulder, but the curiosity in his voice was clear. "What are you going to do?"
"Give me time, Dominic," Bella hastily responded as she moved just out of Dominic's reach.
"Please, Bella," Edward groaned, sounding more like a broken, fallible human than an immortal. He could smell she was lingering in the hall outside of his cell, but there was no sound save for the nearby heartbeats and respirations. Edward slouched with the concluding realization he still had no insight into Bella's mind even though by virtue of her change it more closely resembled his own.
The sadness of it weighed heavy on him and he wondered if unstable emotions were a side effect of Corin's potent gift. Edward shook his head; it was starting to clear and thoughts came together more easily, but his body was taking longer to recover. It was numb, unreliable – essentially useless.
"Bella...why?" he pushed out with considerable effort. "I've come to take you away from this place."
Retrieving a pawned possession! raged Bella's unstable newborn mind. She paced in front of his door, unable to bring herself to peer in at him. Could he still dazzle her? "I'm here and you are there. I believe it is you who needs rescuing." Her voice was biting, and internally part of her reeled at her audacity. He was still her husband...
Her refusal to see him boggled Edward's altered mind and emotions. Lowering himself to his belly, he worked to coordinate his arms and legs to slowly army-crawl to the door. "We have to get out of here now," Edward pleaded. Yes, Bella's continued fury that caused her to drive away from him obviously still lingered, and yes, it had to be addressed, but the larger picture had to be dealt with immediately: every minute he stayed in Volterra, effected by Chelsea and Corin's gift... "We don't belong here."
But Bella wasn't on the same page. Her ire was fuelled by an overwhelming sense of loss that defied definition. Loss of her humanity, loss of who she believed to be her forever lover, soul-mate, and husband. To use her own words: Loss of everything.
Where was her control now? "Where do I belong now, Edward?" The desperation in her voice echoed within him.
"As always, with me," he answered without hesitation.
"I'm not ... the same. I am consuming the blood left within me—" Her words caught in her Death Valley-like throat as her urge to drink churned with her guilt in knowing Edward's revulsion for the consumption of human blood. She was now an object of shame and regret from his perspective. "It can never be the same – what we thought we had..."
"We can try, Bella. Love. We can try." Edward had inched to the door, stretching out his hand to lay it flat against the physical barrier between him and Bella. How he willed his muscles to have the strength to bust the door down! Every cell of his body craved just a glimpse of her. Together they had struggled against so many odds since the day he caught her scent – this, too, could be overcome.
"I tried, Edward. I begged. But now I know. Aro told me about your fear of my talent. Your need to possess. Our...misunderstanding of love. I should have recognized it. The fault is mine as well. But we can't go back to what was."
Before Edward could refute her claims, Demitri's scent heralded his approach. Un-mastered instinct sent Bella scurrying in the opposite direction.
Thirst and the need for clarity pushed her toward the only being who had answers and might even understand her plight. Bella followed his scent easily enough, but was surprised to find where it led her: the inside of the church of St. Marcus.
Marcus could effortlessly escape the view of any errant human who might enter the church at this later hour. He sat unmoving in the corner of the first pew, his black cloak blending him into the dark shadows of the altar lit only by two small candles.
"Do you come here seeking something, my child?" Marcus asked without turning as Bella drifted up the center aisle.
She drew in a deep breath assessing if she was still being pursued. Marcus's heavy scent of clove and musk was all she detected. Of course, the others would detect she had headed in Marcus's direction, leaving no need to track her down.
"I have a confession to make. This seems to be the appropriate location for such an action." Bella slid gracefully onto the bench with Marcus. Then the irony of Marcus's location struck her. "Why are you here? I can't imagine you are praying to ..." She looked up at the statue of Marcus – Volterra's patron saint – "praying to yourself."
"Indeed," Marcus turned his head in Bella's direction. His eyebrows rose slightly, indicating his curiosity, but other than that, his expression gave nothing away. "What have you to confess?"
Bella wondered if he already knew of her transgression, but was curious to see if she'd admit it herself. If she wanted honesty from him, maybe she should do the same. "I may have misused my talent."
"May have?"
It didn't escape her mind that there was some unspoken reason Corin and Chelsea had wanted to keep her from seeing Edward. Their behavior sealed her conviction to be her own island and not place trust quite yet in her "brothers and sisters." Their behavior also raised questions she wasn't sure she could share with Marcus either. Bella pressed her hands to her head for some time hoping to keep it from exploding.
"Please tell me this –" Bella moved her hand in an up and down in a wave-like motion, "–will subside."
"Ah...newborn instability. Just as challenging for us to deal with it, my dear. So it's my forgiveness you seek?"
"Yes." But it really wasn't the repercussions of her attack on Chelsea and Corin that concerned her. "No."
Marcus tilted his head waiting for Bella's real admission; Bella redirected her eyes to the altar and asked, "Why are you here?"
"For the same reason you are here."
Bella's forehead creased. "I seek answers."
"Certainly not from God." Marcus made a sound that resembled a chuckle. Actually, it was difficult for Bella to tell exactly what it was. "Why seek from me that which you can answer for yourself - if you only stop to listen."
Bella stared at him in frustration. "Will I become this cryptic as well? Or is it some kind of ancient vampire-thing?"
"You are troubled by Edward's arrival," he stated as a matter of fact.
Bella swallowed down the throbbing heat in her throat as she grappled with what she was truly feeling. "All that I believed in is false. The truth hurts. I wonder if I would have been happier believing and living the lie as a human. I never wanted to come here or become vampire through someone else's…will." She stole a glance at Marcus, but he continued to stare straight ahead, unfazed by her comment. "Or will the truth ultimately set me free?" Bella paused, waiting for Marcus to respond. When he said nothing, she continued, "Looking at him will only remind me of everything I once thought could be." Then, like a pendulum, Bella's emotions swung in a different direction. "Of course, I'm not sure if I want to look at him after he shows up here with her. Why her? Was I replaced that easily? My life is a Greek tragedy, only I'm the last to know it – and I'm part of the cast!"
Marcus shook his head slightly. "Love – the cause of and the solution to all our woes," he lamented.
"Was it love, Marcus – or something else?" Bella pressed, rephrasing her question in the hopes of getting an answer from the only individual who possessed the talent to tell her for certain.
"Now we have come to the root of your dilemma. I ask which would distress you more, that your love was not real…or that Edward's foolishness has led you to be taken from your home and sired by me? That you crave and drink human blood or that you revel in your new power? What is it you want to hear and what is it you need to know? Would you trust my answers? And what will you do with the information I provide?"
"I can only rely on myself, I know that now," Bella said with conviction before deflating. "Only I don't know who I am anymore. Nothing remains familiar from the old me – except Edward. I felt it when I got close to him."
"Ah, sounds like love to me, and here, not many know what it is like to experience love."
Bella quietly considered his words. Marcus spoke in circles and his comments often seemed random, but it occurred to Bella that maybe he was trying to tell her something – something he couldn't verbalize or even think as she was the only one with the ability to keep her thoughts private. Had he learned a method to protect ideas from Aro's discovery? Was their meaning between carefully chosen lines? Would he do that? And why?
"You loved her. You come here to seek answers about Didyme. Do you wish to love again?"
"You know the answer to your last question, Isabella. We are vampires and we mate for life."
"Mating and love don't necessarily go hand-in-hand, do they?"
"No. Mating is instinctual. Love is not."
"Wouldn't one prefer to choose love?"
Marcus smiled weakly. "It doesn't matter what one prefers, does it? Nothing can supersede the instinct to mate. One could not deny a mate to seek out love. But, one might be-" Marcus gazed up and some thought tugged at the corners of his mouth - "very blessed to find love with a mate."
Bella thought of Jacob and imprinting – was that instinctual or love-based? What about Dominic and Gianna? Or her own parents, for that matter? Did they fall in love and then fall out? Was mating more reliable, practical and wiser than the often fickleness of love?
Bella shook her head in confusion.
"Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it?" Marcus asked wryly.
"Definitely not. Having a vast mind only gives you the ability to ponder more questions. Create more conundrums. Trust less."
They sat in silence for some time, considering their own personal dilemmas as the first signs of morning light crept through the ancient windows above them.
A door creaked and all thoughts abruptly left her beleaguered head. Bella was correct when she realized a newborn was not of sound mind. She had come to understand the duality Edward had referred to – only the knowledge did not give her any means of control over it. She was part beast. Part monster. And in that instant of time, the creature that befuddled her mind and ruled her thirst broke free.
Faster than the caretaker could register the presence of others in the church, Bella was before her. Red eyes burned like the flames of hell and their intent of malice was all too obvious.
The old woman's mouth gaped to allow the flow of a scream, but it died in her throat before it ever escaped her mouth. Though Marcus was ancient, the well-fed vampire moved with effortless speed. However, not as fast as a thirsting newborn.
"Oh my," he sighed. How ironic the woman should perish here, of all places! It had been many moons since a resident of Volterra had died at the hands of a vampire.
Bella hunched motionless over the dead woman's body. She remained on her knees staring into the wide, unseeing eyes of her victim. In her youth and posture, she had the appearance of a penitent child.
"Is this why Edward refrained from making me vampire?" she murmured. "Did he know I was to be too weak?"
"With greatness comes sacrifice, my dear. Come." Marcus grasped Isabella's upper arm to guide her to a stand. "She has sacrificed for your strength. We must dispose of the body. The secret requires protection."
Bella felt the pang of thirst in her throat relent and a part of her found pleasure in the surge of gratification that course through her body. It assuaged the guilt.
"We must go. You will report to the main chamber where business is conducted. Now fed, you will perform admirably, I'm sure."
Bella nodded numbly and moved forward. She felt weary – not of body but of mind. Since Edward had arrived, her emotions had become even more embattled. Before she could even think of how to organize them, Marcus added salt to her open wounds. "Today is your first official day of duty – as it will be Edward's as well."
A/N: My betas pointed out that this chapter is more psychological than physical. I do think it was necessary for what is to come (so sorry if you had to stifle a yawn). I have had a few comments that Bella is OOC. Yes and no. She is a true newborn who is having her mind unmercifully manipulated, all complicated by the barely controlled emotions. But as Edward said last chapter, she never acts as expected...
I believe we are coming to the last several chapters, so things should move rather quickly - the house of cards is built, but it will only take one hit to bring it all down. I can't wait to bring that to you!
Deep, humble bows to Ashling92, RowanMoon, and RosaBella75 - I couldn't do it without their support and love.
Please comment and/or recommend!
