Outsider Chronicles: Shadow and Vampire
When I died, the very last thing I was expecting was to wake up again. Well, actually, I wasn't expecting to wake up as a whimpy Harem protagonist either. Still, I guess it could be worse...at least I can actually defend myself. Unfortunately, there may well be something worse than Alucard on the horizon and theres fuck all I can do about it.
So we're back. Nothing to say other than, enjoy!
Chapter 4
A few weeks later, Nekonome informed us that we were all required to join clubs, much to the ire of the class. Since Yukari was still nowhere to be seen, apparently we were in the Manga continuity. Great, that meant we'd have to deal with Alucard at some point. Makes me wonder whos worse, Darquesse or Alucard. Frankly, I didn't really want to find out.
"Whoaaa, there are so many!" said Moka as we wandered through the crowded halls, "Which one do you think we should join Tsukune?"
"Well, lets see," I said, "The Swimming Club is right out since I hate swimming and I don't feel like dealing with homicidal Mermaids…"
I caught Mokas look.
"Well, what else would run a Swimming Club in a school full of Monsters?" I asked, "And I assume their homicidal because everything else seems to be around here."
"Fair enough," said Moka as we wandered away from the stand full of scantily clad mermaids, ignoring the eyes burning into my back.
Sorry Tamao, but I have no intention of becoming your lunch.
"What about the Magic Club?" suggested Moka, pointing at a stand where a girl with long pink hair seemed to be greatly enjoying the attention being heaped on her by the male populus.
"Pass," I said, "I have enough magic for now. How about the cooking club…nah, bad idea."
A quick glance at that booth revealed that someone had managed to make a horrifying looking concoction that was giving out a purple miasma and a good number of students were laid out unconscious as the leader berated a sheepish looking girl with red hair and D shaped hairclips.
"Good idea," said Moka, "What about the Fencing Club?"
"FORSOOTH, I SHALL SLICE YOU TO PIECES YOU CAD!"
A blond girl in plate armour came belting past from the fencing clubs table, swinging a massive sword I probably wouldn't be able to lift as she chased someone down the hall.
"I think not," I deadpanned.
"No, perhaps that wouldn't be a good idea," said Moka, "What about Track and Field?"
"COME ON YOU PANSY'S, PUT SOME EFFORT IN!" yelled the person in charge as she berated a number of new recruits who were rapidly doing pushup.
"No," we both said at the same time and hurried away before the crazy lady could try and drag us in.
"I have an idea," said Kurumu as she appeared out of nowhere behind me.
"GAH, KURUMU!" I yelped.
"Hey there Tsukune, how about you and me join the rope club?" she purred.
I followed her finger to where a woman with silver hair was holding a length of rope that was tying up a number of struggling students with a bored look on her face.
"Nope, sorry, not into Bondage," I said, shoving the Succubus off me.
"Yeah, and besides, hes going to join a club with me!" said Moka, grabbing my arm.
Kurumu grabbed my other arm and the two started glaring at one another.
"App, no fighting ladys," I said, pulling my arms loose and chopping both girls lightly on the head, "Come on, lets all find a club together."
"OK!" they both said.
"LOOK OUT!"
"Huh?"
We all looked up, just in time for a big pot of what looked like soup, even if it was giving off an evil looking miasma, dropped from the balcony above us and soaked the girls. As the male, I naturally took the soup pot to the bonce.
"Owwww, that hurt," I groaned, sitting up from where the metal pot had knocked me to the ground, "Are you girls O...K!?"
"Oh no, we're all wet!" groaned Moka.
Apparently, even me being here doesn't stop this world from running on ecchi logic because the soup had completely soaked both Moka and Kurumu's uniforms, causing them to cling to every curve the two girls had. I was very glad they were both wearing jackets and pullovers or theres no doubt we'd be able to see their bras. As it was, I still had to clap my hands over my nose to prevent the incoming nosebleed.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorrrry!"
I tore my eyes away from my friends as the person who had dropped the pot on us came running up. She looked like she was in the year above us and had long, red hair clipped back with D shaped clips, yellow eyes and a figure that rivaled Kurumu's.
"I was taking it out and tripped," she said, "Are you three alright?"
"What even is this stuff?" asked Kurumu, "It stinks!"
The girl blushed.
"U-um, it was supposed to be roast lamb and vegetables, but it went sort of wrong…" she said.
DOOOOOOOOM!
We all blinked and looked down at the purple mess that was slowly shaping itself into the form of scary faces that looked like souls trying to escape hell.
"Um, might I suggest that cooking isn't really your forte?" I said as everyone edged away from the mess.
"A-ah, t-that might be right," she stuttered, "Um, I should probably clean that up…"
"Yeah, you do that," said Kurumu, "Come on Moka, lets go get changed."
"O-Ok," said Moka, blushing slightly under the perverted gazes of the surrounding males who apparently really liked how her soaking wet uniform made her look.
I glared at them, summoning Shadows to create an ominous aura around me to make them cower back.
"Perverts," I grumbled.
"Come on Tsukune, whats keeping you!" called Kurumu.
"Why did they drag me along if I'm just going to be waiting outside," I grumbled as I leant against the wall of the classroom the girls had opted to change in.
Oh, I wasn't expecting them to let me in or anything, but they had dragged me here and ordered me to wait when I could have been doing something useful!
"AHHHH!"
I jumped and spun around, at the sudden scream from inside the changing room.
"That sounded like Kurumu," I muttered.
I hesitated. I knew how this sort of thing usually played out. I'd probably burst in there and find that they are comparing bust size or something and end up with a massive concussion from kicks to the head. Then again, Kurumu was more likely to start that off, not Moka and that had definitely been Kurumu's voice, so they could well be in trouble. After a moment, I made my decision.
"God damn Ecchi logic," I grumbled, "Please don't chose now to start!"
I opened the door and stepped inside...only to freeze, blush brightly and nearly pass out from blood loss at the sight of Kurumu, red faced and looking horrified, as her uniform bulged and rippled like something was crawling around inside.
"W-whats going on?!" stuttered Moka, equally wide eyed.
"I-I don't know!" whimpered Kurumu as whatever it was that was attacking her shifted and moved, the red in her cheeks darkening, "B-but I-I don't think I can hold out much longer…AH, N-NO, N-NOT THERE!"
"Huh?" said Moka, "W-whats it doing?"
"It...it...it…" Kurumu whimpered, then let out an extremely lewd moan and collapsed into a drooling mess.
"Well, that was interesting," I said as I tried to stop the excessive nosebleed.
"T-tsukune, w-what are you doing in here?!" stuttered Moka, looking red faced and a little scared.
"I heard screaming and wanted to make sure you were OK," I said, "What happened to her?"
"I-I don't know," said Moka, slowly approaching the slightly twitching Kurumu, "But I thing something attacked her…"
She reached out to poak Kurumu, but before she could, a pair of glowing yellow eyes suddenly appeared and shot out at her.
"AHHHH!"
"Ohhhh, thats whats going on," I said as Moka started scrabbling at her attacked as it wriggled around under her clothes, "Its a Slime…"
Then I realized what was wrong with this picture.
"Wait, what the fuck?!" I yelled, "What the fuck is a damned Slime doing here?!"
I didn't get an answer as the Slime continued to molest a tomato red Moka, visibly crawling around under her uniform and making its way down. Then, it vanished under Moka's waistband and her blush skyrocketed into shades of red never before seen by Man or Monster.
"A-AH, N-NOT THERE!" she yelled, "T-Tsukune helllllp!"
Unfortunately, I was too busy dealing with a massive nosebleed from the erotic sight.
"Urrrg, this is not good for my blood flow," I groaned.
"Perverted jokes aside, you should really do something about that, WEEE!" said the Bat as he flew past.
Finally, Moka let out a moan that sounded suspiciously like my name and collapsed alongside Kurumu as her attacker began to slither out of her clothes. I tensed as it oozed out onto the floor and started to rise up until it was taller than me, a blue and green mass of goo with a pair of glowing, green eyes.
"Hmm, that thing seems vaguely familiar…" I muttered.
Then, my eyes widened as the ooze spun and reshaped itself into...a busty female form made of blue goo with green, tentacle like hair and green eyes.
"Ahh, thats...odd," I said.
I twitched as the Slime turned its gaze on me. Now, knowing the Ecchi formula, I wasn't likely to get molested by it...instead I'd likely get…
"GLUBBB!"
Pulled into its body. Yep, I was right. I struggled against the living ooze's grip as she grabbed me and dragged me into its impressive bust, not unlike how Kurumu did.
"Oh, of course, it mimics what its seen," a part of my brain thought.
The bigger part though was thinking more along the lines of HELP ME BEFORE I DROWN! I clenched my fist and a large amount of water started condensing out of the air, and surged together, creating a large bubble around me and the slime.
"So, its a Slime?" asked Kurumu a few minutes later after the girls had recovered.
"Apparently so," I said as the Slime stared at us from the bucket I'd shoved it into after drying it out.
"How did it even get into the school?" asked Moka, who was keeping a weather eye on the Slime and hiding behind me, "Slimes aren't intelligent enough to get into Yokai and they can't even take on Human forms!"
"Er, Moka," said Kurumu, pointing behind us.
We turned and, sure enough, the Slime was no longer just a blob but instead back in her Humanoid form, albeit a lot less busty than before.
"Oh yeah, she can do that apparently," I said, "Its not going to fool anyone though…"
The slime blinked at us with big, doe-like eyes.
"W-what are we going to do with it?" asked Moka.
"I'm not sure what we can do," said Kurumu, "Slimes may not be that dangerous, but they are difficult to contain."
I sighed.
"I guess the only thing we can do is talk to Nekonome about her," I said, "We also still need to join a club…"
"What about the Newspaper Club?" asked Kurumu.
I blinked and looked at the Succubus.
"Where did that come from?" I asked.
Kurumu pointed at a poster on the wall.
"Huh...sure, why not?" I said.
No point in breaking whats fine as is I guess.
"I think Nekonome is the faculty advisor for that Club, so we can kill two birds with one stone," I said, "Come on, let's go."
"Wait, we can't take her through the halls looking like that," said Moka, pointing at the naked slime.
"Why not?" asked Kurumu.
"Its indecent!" said Moka.
"Well, she can't wear normal clothes," said Kurumu, "They'd just slip off."
I snapped my fingers and rummaged through my bag.
"I have just the thing," I said, "I have no idea why I put it in my bag this morning, but I have...this!"
I pulled out my fold up kagool and shook it out.
"A raincoat?" asked Moka.
"Sure, its waterproof and she won't be able to get it sticky," I said, "Lets give it a try."
The Slime cocked her head on one side as we all turned to her.
It took surprisingly little time to get her into it and, even more surprisingly (or maybe not), it worked. With the Slime now covered, we headed to the Faculty room with the Slime to ask what to do about her and sign up for the Club, much to Nekonome's joy.
"So, now thats done, what do we do about Suu?" I asked, indicating to the Slime, who was looking around curiously.
"Huh, whos Suu?" asked Kurumu.
"Well, she needs a name, right?" I asked, "I thought it was appropriate."
I stumbled slightly as something hit my back. I glanced back to see the smiling face of the Slime inches away from mine.
"Suuu!" she chirped happily.
"Wha...hey, get away from him!" yelled Moka, who was still keeping her distance.
"Don't worry Moka, I highly doubt shes smart enough to have feelings for someone," said Kurumu.
I gave a fake smile. If this things anything like the one in Monster Musume, that comment would probably come back to bite her.
"Nya, I'll talk to the Headmaster about it," said Nekonome, "For now, you kids should get going."
I sighed as we left the room, leaving Suu in the capable hands of Miss Nekonome.
"Somehow, I have a horrible feeling that we've not seen the last of Suu," I muttered.
And done. So, what do you think? I don't think I need to spell out the references I made in this chapter, do I? Like who the bad cook is? I didn't think so.
No, we have not seen the last of Suu. She'll be back in all her molesting, gooey glory. Whether or not she'll be gunning for Tsukune or not is up for debate...no, its not, shes totally gonna fall for him too! Don't worry though, she'll be the only Monster Musume girl to become a regular cast member.
I had way to much fun writing Suu...eh, whatever.
Incidentally, for those who have read SP, who do you think is more dangerous, Alucard or Darquesse? A Monster who wants to destroy all Humans or a literal God Killer who's out to scorch the entire world.
Right, I'm gonna sign off before I laugh myself silly. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!
