Residuum

Blood 1.5

iii


"Up top, down below, bump one side, spin one-eighty, bump the other side, aaaaand professional business handshake."

Yang and Ruby stepped apart, grinning at the rest of the group. Both Nora and Pyrrha looked interested at their extended handshake ritual, the former more obviously excited than the latter. True to their nature, Ren and Blake kept neutral expressions while Weiss looked as if she wanted no part in their shenanigans.

Jaune felt more confused than anything, but perhaps this was an actual greeting people did with one another. He certainly wouldn't put his hand on someone's chest again.

"Pyrrha, want to learn?" Yang asked. The redhead grinned, walking up to the girl enthusiastically.

"Of course, Yang," she said, "I would love to learn!"

"Alright, so it goes like this," Yang began explaining, "First we go up top for a high five."

Pyrrha met her high five as Yang kept swinging her arm forward.

"Then we go the full arc and go down below for the low five," she said, smacking Pyrrha's reciprocating hand again.

"Hip bump," she continued, bumping into Pyrrha lightly before spinning around.

"Spin and hip bump again, and shake hands like two professionals," Yang finished. Nora jumped forward to take the redhead's place, eager to learn. Ruby was busy trying to convince Weiss to learn it as well.

"Oh, please Weiss, it'll be our team's official handshake and you'll be the only one who won't know!" the fifteen-year-old said.

"Okay, fine. As long as we can go shopping for clothes after," Weiss said, keeping a straight face. Ruby perked up at the girl's suggestion.

"Really?"

"No."

As the two argued, Pyrrha grabbed Jaune's hand, pulling him off his chair with a wide smile.

"Come on Jaune," she said with laughter in her voice, "It's a lot of fun!"

The girl repeated the motions perfectly with the blond who copied her awkwardly, unsure if he was doing it correctly or not. Pyrrha's second hip bump was a bit too powerful, sending him stumbling. Pyrrha laughed innocently at her blunder, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye.

"I'm sorry Jaune," she said, "Let's try again. We'll get it this time."

Soon enough, everyone on the team were now a party to Yang and Ruby's proposed team ceremony, even the Schnee heiress. The group paused when there was a knock on the door to their common room. Jaune walked over and opened the door, revealing Glynda waiting at the door.

"Hello, students," she greeted, "I hope you're doing well."

"Hey Ms G," Yang greeted, grinning when the teacher frowned at her for her casualness, "What brings you to our humble abode?"

"Actually, I'm here to deliver this to Mr Branwen," she said, holding out a card to him, "There is still plenty of time in the day so you should head down and pick out a full wardrobe for yourself. I would advise that you take someone with you to help out. The lien on this card should be more than enough if you're careful about what you purchase."

"A full wardrobe?" Blake asked.

"I had thought it peculiar that you had no clothing with you," Ren mentioned, "I was under the assumption that perhaps they were late in being delivered."

"You don't have any clothes?" Weiss asked, sounding appalled. Jaune shook his head.

"Perhaps you can take him, Miss Schnee," Glynda suggested, "I'm sure he could use the help of someone with a good head on her shoulders."

"Of course, Professor Goodwitch," she replied earnestly, not one to turn down a request from her instructor.

"Wait… you're going clothes shopping?" Yang asked. Jaune looked at her and noticed a gleam in her eyes that made him slightly uncomfortable. And it wasn't just her; Ruby, Blake, Nora… even Pyrrha?

"Jaune." His name was all Pyrrha said, trying to communicate something to him with just one word: there was absolutely no way she wasn't coming along. Jaune completely misunderstood her intentions.

"Oh, right," he said, turning to Glynda and holding his hand up high for her. Glynda blinked, not quite understanding.

"Uh... sorry, what?" the teacher asked. She felt as if she was missing something.

"I guess you wouldn't know," he said, not lowering his hand as he began to explain, "It's our new team greeting that Yang and Ruby taught us. First you high five."

Glynda looked at his waiting hand and then at the members of his team behind him. They were gaping at the two of them, absolutely dumbfounded at what was happening. There was no way she could do this… but then she saw Jaune's expectant face, completely innocent of any mischievousness. She sighed internally before meeting him up top.

"Then it's down below."

The teacher copied his movements perfectly, not believing she was actually doing this. She jumped slightly when he bumped the side of his hip into hers.

"Hip bump, then you turn around and hip bump again," Jaune said, spinning and waiting for her to follow his lead. The bespectacled woman felt her face redden in embarrassment but spun, barely moving her hip as she bumped into him as well.

"And then a professional handshake," Jaune said, finishing the greeting. Glynda met his hand and chanced another look at the students behind him. Their mouths had not picked up from where they were dropped, still eyeing the scene in utter astoundment. She didn't say a single word and abruptly left the room.

"So…" Jaune said, looking at the stunned silver-haired girl, "I guess we should leave? I don't really know the way…"

"Jaune," Yang said, speaking in hushed tones as she stared at him in amazement.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, "Did I do the greeting wrong or something?"

"You. Are. AMAZING!" the blonde exclaimed, breaking out in hysterical laughter. The blond blinked as the rest of the group started cracking up as well. He chuckled a few times, their glee contagious.

"I, uh, I don't get it," he said, smiling but ignorant.

"Jaune," Pyrrha said, still chuckling, "How about if we make it a team outing? Is it alright if we come with you?"

"Of course!" he said enthusiastically, "Is everyone going to come?"

All of them confirmed that they wanted to join in on his trip, even the somewhat reluctant Ren. Soon enough, the entire team were ready and on a dust-ship down to Beacon. As soon as the blond had seen what was required for him to go down to the city proper, he had tried to beg them for another way down. Perhaps there were stairs.

Unfortunately, he had to endure the ride down though Pyrrha's hand rubbing his back definitely made it more soothing than the first time he had rode on these things. Qrow had just mocked him.

"Well, where should we go?" Nora asked, "I say we find a nice bistro and eat all the best sweets they have."

"Professor Goodwitch put me in charge here," Weiss interjected immediately, "And I won't allow for any distractions. Now come on, we're finding a suitable clothing store. I think I know a place, actually."

The girl led them to an upscale shop with sparse amounts of clothes and exorbitant prices listed on even the clothing modeled at the front of the store.

"I'm not sure how much money is on that card but I don't think it'll be enough to get an entire set of clothes from here," Blake said dryly, inspecting the outrageous price-tag she saw on a pair of jeans, "Actually, it might not be enough for even one set."

"Don't worry princess," Yang said, causing Weiss to glare at her, "I got this so follow me."

The blonde brawler apparently knew exactly where to go and led the group to a fashionable store with much more affordable prices. The storefront had tons of different outfits, not to mention many more different articles inside. Pyrrha and Nora began marvelling at all the garments they had stocked up, looking back at their team leader, imagining him in different outfits. He was completely out of his depth of course.

"Come on, I know someone that can help us," Yang explained, walking into the store with them at her tail, "Cherry! You there?"

"Now if it ain't Yang Xiao Long," the shopkeeper said as she walked forward to greet them, a girl of average height.

"Hey, I got another customer for you," Yang said, grabbing Jaune's arm and pulling him forward, "Need a full wardrobe down to the skivvies."

"I knew I loved you," Cherry told her friend, grinning, "Ooh, I can work with you. Pretty face, not a lot of bust. But hey, tall and slender is a good look as well."

"Jaune's a boy," Pyrrha explained immediately, not wanting the same gender mix-up to happen again, "Everybody always gets confused about it when they see him."

"Well, as I live and breathe," the girl said, "I don't think I've ever seen a boy so pretty. I can work with this as well. First, how about we go and pick out your underwear. What size are you?"

"Uh, size?" Jaune asked, not quite sure what she meant. The clothes he was wearing now were picked out by Qrow and the man hadn't bothered to tell him anything about them. He had just tossed the boy jeans, a shirt, and a jacket.

"You don't remember your size?" the girl asked, looking surprised for a moment, "No problem, you ain't the first boy who don't know anything about clothes. It's usually on the label at the back of your underwear. Just take a quick a look-see."

"Oh, okay," Jaune said, grabbing at his belt buckle.

"NO!" seven voices shouted out, stopping him in his tracks.

"Jaune, you need to go into the changing room," Pyrrha explained, trying to remain as composed as possible. Jaune grinned at them.

"I was just messing with you guys," he said, rolling his eyes, "I know not to undress in public, give me some credit."

The group chuckled nervously as the blond followed Cherry to a changing room.

"So he's a special one," the shop keep said as she came back. Yang gave her a weak grin.

"You don't know the half of it," she replied, thinking back to their conversation with Glynda a few hours prior. Before Jaune returned for their lunch-detention, the seven of them decided to treat Jaune as normally as possible so as not to make him uncomfortable. But they didn't really know how unfamiliar he was with things in the Kingdoms. Apparently, his knowledge did not extend to his clothing sizes.

"Says here I'm a medium!" Jaune called out to them.

"Alright, I think we need to split up the work to make things go a little bit faster," Weiss said, deciding to take charge, "Ren, now that we know his size, can you go find him enough smallclothes?"

"On it," Ren nodded, leaving to find his friend enough underwear to last him for a long time. He had expected as much, being the only other male in the group. Nora, not even bothering to wait for her own instructions bounded off after her childhood friend.

"I believe I'll take care of finding him some formal clothes," Weiss said, looking around to see if this shop even carried anything close to formal, "Yang and Blake, I suppose you can stick with Cherry and find him some everyday clothes."

"I'll come with you!" Ruby said to Weiss, who faltered for a second. Looking at the innocent look on the younger girl's face, the silver-haired girl relented.

"Fine."

"I'll go and find Jaune," Pyrrha spoke up, "Maybe we'll find something he likes for himself."

As the group split up, the green-eyed girl walked over to the changing rooms where her socially-inept partner had gone to.

"Jaune?" she called out, looking at the room he had gone into. He didn't reply, making her frown slightly.

"Jaune, are you there?" she asked, walking up the curtain. When he still didn't reply, she slowly opened the curtain only to find an empty fitting room. The girl looked around wildly to see if she could catch a flash of long blond hair anywhere. The only one she was able to see was Yang.

As she looked around, she did see an exit nearby at the back end of the store. Her heart filled with dread as she realized just what had happened.

They had lost Jaune.


Notes: That scene with Glynda was so much fun to write. She just couldn't say no to Jaune, who wasn't trying to tease her or prank her.

As you can see, issues with Jaune's gender are very quickly subverted now that his team is in the know. And even Jaune is capable of casual teasing and/or pranks. I'm imagining the shopkeeper, Cherry, to have a sort of southern drawl.

Anyway, this is meant to lighten the mood given the past few chapters.

Cheers and drop a review!

knuckz