Chapter 43 – Turning Page
-I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me strong than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
I would have known what I've been living for all along.
Ancient Volterra. Despite centuries of war and occupation, she had survived. Actually, she did more than just survive; she became stronger, more significant. Bella, too, had survived and in the process became stronger, and like the walls of Volterra, she possessed memories that she neither could nor should forget.
Pausing on the hillside, Bella reflected on the city where she had bore witness to so much manipulation and ruin. And sacrifice.
"What do you see?" Edward asked as he encircled his arms around her waist.
Her gaze didn't waver. "It's not what I see, it's what I feel." Anxiety-ridden hands gripped and released at the velvety fabric of Marcus's cloak.
Edward pointed in the direction of the landing strip outside the city. "See there? It's the Volturi jet that will be taking us home. We can put this place behind us."
Bella surmised the jet was also the means by which she arrived in Volterra, but she chose not to dwell on the idea. She was better off not knowing.
"So much has changed." She turned to face her husband, lines of worry creasing her brow. "Do we return to our house in Orford if I can't continue to go to classes?"
Edward flinched slightly. As much as Bella had wanted to be vampire, he suspected there were some unpleasant details she had probably glossed over. "Moving on. It's one of downsides of this life. We can't go back there – at least not yet. Maybe in a decade…"
"And then everyone I got to know will be gone. Just like my earned credits." She sighed. "Actually, I don't think I want to go back anyway." Bella looked at Edward's somber face. "And I don't think you do either."
"It will always be the place I mourned your death ... dark memories," he admitted.
"But Forks isn't an option," Bella forced herself to acknowledge she no longer had a place to call home. "No one can see me like this. Charlie, my friends ... and Renee. My poor mother." Her hands flew to cover her eyes when she thought about how her scattered, but well-meaning mother must have struggled with her presumed death. "I always thought I'd get the chance to say goodbye … somehow make the blow easier for them."
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I know all these changes will take a while to process. Promise me you'll be patient with yourself?" He held her close while the rest of the group lingered at a respectable distance, allowing Bella and Edward a semblance of privacy.
"Well, you said they already think I'm dead. Then it's a clean break." Bella tried to put on a brave façade. "That's good, right?"
"Maybe for them ... I guess."
"Was it at least a well-attended funeral?" Bella tried to make light of the situation in order to push through her angst. However, when Edward refused to make eye contact, she realized he, too, had wounds to heal. Her prodding at them wasn't helping. "My turn to apologize. I suppose my staged death was very real for you. It was in poor taste for me to be so cavalier."
"Don't apologize; I also have many questions that are difficult to voice." He took several steps away from her. "I question how I failed you so miserably that you believed Aro when he said I didn't love you. And I wonder how close you came to becoming one of them. That distance in your eyes when I stood before the dais – you were so close to being lost to me."
Bella was taken aback by Edward's blunt questions until he continued. "The worst part is I can't deny my culpability. How will I atone for all the mistakes I made that resulted in you being victimized?" The pain in his chest erupted without warning: How would they rebuild after such devastation? How long would this healing journey take and would it lead them closer together or would the truth become a wedge to drive them apart? "Can you ever truly forgive me? Reconcile your hatred at what I've done with your love for me?"
Bella's shield rippled around her, a physical manifestation of the conflict she felt inside. A part of her wanted to reassure Edward it would all be fine, and yet, she understood they would struggle to mend what had been broken. "I don't know, but I do know I will find a way."
Her candid answer actually reassured him. She was willing to make the journey with him. There wasn't any more he could ask from her than that. "Maybe it all happened for a reason."
"Maybe," he agreed halfheartedly, understanding that the right perspective was an important first step in eliminating the barriers that kept rearing up whenever their relationship was put to the test.
Bella turned to face Volterra. "What do you see?"
"Hope."
She squinted her eyes at the city trying to see it from his perspective. "Could that have something to do with seeing Carlisle?" she asked, sensing his apprehension rising even though he spoke of hope.
"Yes, as well as our future, and the building of a just leadership for our kind."
"What happened between you and Carlisle?" Her eyes searched his for clues. "Can I help?" Sensing she had opened a door he'd rather keep shut, she waited patiently for him to formulate a response.
Edward's lips formed a hard line as his jaw tightened. He had denounced Carlisle's leadership once before with disastrous results, but luckily, Carlisle had taken him back. Belonging to a coven … or a family … is a privilege he had abused twice now. Could he have reached the limit of Carlisle's understanding and trust?
"I said some things to Carlisle at the castle. I wouldn't leave that place without you, but I didn't want my family to be in jeopardy either." Edward's next words came out in a rush, "So I renounced my coven. Swore allegiance to the Volturi."
Bella immediately took Edward's face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "And you did that for me. Don't you think Carlisle understands that? Besides, he'd never let you go so easily, Edward, you know better. He loves you."
"I just … expected to see him by now."
The fact hit her like a slap across the face. Edward had a valid point and it set Bella on edge. It was uncharacteristic for Carlisle to be absent in matters that involved his family. Not that she believed for a moment Carlisle wouldn't take Edward back, but what if his absence had something to do with her? She had instigated Edward's defection, she was a fully inducted member of the Volturi Guard, and she had caused the collapse of the ruling vampire family, leaving a mess for Carlisle to sort out. Would there be shame in accepting her into their coven? Not to mention, she had murdered and drank human blood on more than one occasion – acts Carlisle strongly disapproved of. What if she was too big of a liability? What if he didn't accept her, would she, Edward, and Gianna have to form their own coven?
Edward took Bella's hand, pulling her from the edge of the emotional abyss she was about to sink into. "Bella? Alice thinks we need to get moving. Our welcome party will soon be arriving at the airstrip."
( ~ * ~ )
Bella was surprised to see not only Carlisle and Esme waiting at the small, rustic airstrip, but Eleazar and Tanya as well. As they drew closer, Bella became more and more apprehensive. It felt more like a show of force than a welcome party. And Carlisle wasn't just the father figure she had known as a human. He was the leader of the coven – the deciding factor. Suddenly she felt very humbled in his presence.
Bella hung back and watched as Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice rushed ahead to be welcomed back by Carlisle and Esme.
Her eternal future was riding on the next few moments and her fear of the unknown seemed to ground her feet in cement. But when she looked around, Bella saw Dominic, Gianna, and Edward had also lingered with her.
And there it was. It only consisted of fifteen feet of grassy landscape, but the chasm between the two distinct groups felt insurmountable and uncomfortable. Bella took in each one of their faces; their eyes looked back with wary caution.
Us and them.
No. No, this wasn't acceptable, Bella's inner voice screamed. To come so far and to overcome so many obstacles...it can't come this! A gamut of emotions played tug-of-war with her heart and Bella cursed her vampire brain for its ability to churn out so much so fast. Anger at their distrust, fear of abandonment, panic, sorrow, and desperation … all bobbed to the surface impeding to her ability to think, to act. Though somehow she still had enough insight to wonder if vampires could go into shock…
Motionless she stood at a loss on how to mend the division, but she knew the plea for clemency had to come from her. She had the bitterest sins to confess.
With everyone looking on, Bella slowly crossed the divide to stand a few feet before Carlisle.
Observing her submissive posture and downcast eyes, Carlisle remained still though his arms ached to reach out and embrace his lost lamb.
Bella opened her mouth to speak several times before she finally settled on a starting point for her act of contrition. "While in Volterra, my identity was stripped from me. I was broken down and rebuilt. My sire is … was … Marcus of the Volturi. I was indoctrinated into the Volturi Guard, commended for killing, and little by little, what I held to be true and just was rewritten. Reincarnated, I was led to believe I was destined to play a significant role in this world; an important duty to my new race. I wanted to believe I could be special, so I accepted this position."
At this point in her speech, Bella knew her next admission could put her likelihood of rejoining the Cullen family at risk, and possibly risk Edward's reunion with them as well. Nevertheless, if she was to move past what had happened, she had to admit to her faults not only to those from whom she wished to regain trust, but to herself as well. Her brow furrowed with regret as she pushed herself to go on:
"At first, I thought my most vital role was protecting you, even though I blamed you all for being put in the position I was in. But then, after I experienced the full ability of my shield ... I felt powerful. And I … liked the way it felt."
She hung her head in shame, yet at the same time, she felt a weight being lifted from her shoulders. Still something heavy was pulling her down. Reaching into the pocket of Marcus's cloak, Bella removed her necklace emblazoned with the Volturi Crest. She flung it on the ground at Carlisle's feet.
"I don't feel powerful anymore. Power. Control. They're an illusion the Volturi created and dressed up with priceless works of arts, glorious libraries, and hooded cloaks to disguise the truth – even from the Volturi themselves."
She turned toward Edward, speaking with conviction and passion he had never heard her express. "I have a soul. I know that because I felt it blacken and wither. It pulled away, leaving a void that was all too willing to be filled with the cruelty and greed that surrounded me in Volterra. I became part of the illusion. Until Edward risked everything to remind me of what's real.
"Like Corin's gift, once control is tasted, it's easy to find yourself relentlessly craving it. Insidiously, that desire begins to control you and there's no price to steep." The thought of Aro killing his own beloved sister reverberated through her mind. "But love ... it gives until it can give no more, it sacrifices, forgives, and celebrates the joy found in others. Edward's love reclaimed my battered soul."
Feeling the strength of that love, Bella gathered the courage to meet Carlisle's eyes. "I am Isabella Cullen by marriage. And I was proud to be part of such a noble family. Still, I understand if you believe I have forsaken my identity as a Cullen through my actions. But if you can find it in your heart to give me a chance, I will do anything to gain that privilege back."
Carlisle took a moment to search Bella's red-orange eyes that implored his for understanding and mercy. In that color he saw a newborn making her best attempt to transcend her nature. He then looked into the faces of each one of the individuals he called his children and saw them pleading for leniency. Finally, he met his wife's eyes. In them he saw her confidence that he would do the right thing. Her faith warmed him.
Carlisle took one measured step toward her. "Bella, don't judge yourself too harshly. We've shared our pasts with you, and you know we've all made mistakes we regret. And we all continue to falter. You've shown courage. You could have taken the easy route, and just said what you thought I wanted to hear. But you didn't. You genuinely looked within and saw the potential we all have for darkness. This awareness is vital. The way of life we have chosen is not an easy one. Denying our aggressive, predatory nature is a constant struggle, but you've learned the reward is worth the challenge." He glanced at the Volturi Crest as his feet. "The Cullen Crest reminds us that before we are a coven, we are a family."
He moved closer, stepping over the crest of the fallen leaders to place his hands on her shoulders. "Since the day I looked into my beloved son's eyes and into his soul to realize he had found a mate, I considered you my daughter. That has not changed, Isabella Marie Cullen."
Feeling Carlisle had given her the green light, Esme hurried forward to embrace Bella. "And I know I speak for the rest of the family – welcome back."
"Carlisle?" Edward's voice was hesitant.
Esme could almost sense Edward's remorse and trepidation flowing from him. She wondered if he would ever learn to have more faith...
"Yes, son," Carlisle responded intentionally selecting a word that emphasized family over coven.
"I never meant those words at the castle. My actions and words were my way of protecting my family. But I don't know if my actions were wise ... I put my mate over my family."
"I regret you were put in the position to choose. Yet under extreme duress, you did what you thought best to protect us all. I think that demonstrated wisdom and maturity." Carlisle turned to the others who were gathered. "I know we are all eager to move on to the tasks ahead, but if you could please allow me a moment to speak alone with Edward?"
"It will give us a chance to meet Dominic." Alice danced over to the wolf and Gianna, handing Gianna a small pile of clothes. "I'll let you handle these."
Carlisle walked over to Edward, placing an arm around his shoulder and guiding him away from the others. I don't mean to be abrupt, but there is much to discuss before you leave Volterra.
"I understand," Edward replied, sensing most of the conversation would be conducted silently through Carlisle's thoughts.
Don't be offended by my first question, but I have to ask: Can we implicitly trust Bella?
As hard as Edward tried not to be upset, he was. "How can you ask that after your eloquent words welcoming her back?" He wondered if Carlisle's words were just for show.
She is family, Edward. Always will be. But this transcends our family. I am part of the transitional government and I can't risk the implication that a loyal Volturi Guard member may have influence over my decisions. Aro's expertise at manipulating others is unprecedented.
Edward rushed to defend Bella. "Aro used our hesitance to change Bella against us; convinced her I couldn't love her without her blood and that we were intimidated by the power of her gift. He skillfully built on the self-doubt we inadvertently created in her."
So that's what she meant about being 'special'. I couldn't imagine what it was like for her to be surrounded by supernaturals – overly protective ones at that.
"That's the perverseness of what Aro did. Everything we had done to protect her was used against us. In essence, we made it easy for him to sway Bella's loyalty."
How did you win her back?
"She saw through Aro's lies. Realized she was a piece in his game of dominance. Bella claimed her independence. Claimed herself."
Carlisle nodded. It's about time.
Edward's shock was plain on his face.
Edward, she asked us to vote on her immortality. Who are we to vote on her life? It was never really our decision. Or even yours. We don't own her, but our withholding what she repeatedly asked for gave her that impression. Hell, even after a landslide vote, no one followed through on changing her, did they? We held our superior status over her, disrespecting her while all along claiming we loved her. How long could she endure that incongruity? I regret ignoring the issue after you were married. I took the easy road believing I was allowing the two of you your privacy. I'm sorry it came to this. I, too, owe Bella an apology.
Carlisle stopped walking. His expression weary.
"Bella and I have both changed through this experience. We will have some healing to do, but in the end, we will be stronger. We've ... grown up. I just can't help but wonder if it was worth the cost? We've left so much destruction in our wake."
God works in mysterious ways, son. It's not for us to ask why – His plan is too grand for us to understand. And it seems to me that love is always a worthy cause to fight for.
"And love is what eventually freed us." Edward paused, knowing his next revelation would be a shock to his father. "Carlisle, Aro was the one who killed Didyme."
Edward watched as Carlisle's expression of disbelief morphed into sadness as he searched his memories for any clue he may have missed regarding Aro's heinous act. "How corrupt could a heart become to murder one's own family?" He hung his head in silence for a moment. "Marcus was partly the reason I stayed in Volterra for so long. I wanted to truly know the man hidden within the dead exterior. Occasional glimpses of that interior led me to believe he had once been a great man."
"I wish to honor Marcus by telling you he helped us." Edward didn't continue to elaborate by stating Bella was the one to tell Marcus the devastating news that resulted in the leader's death. He believed that was Bella's story to share when she was ready. "It's the reason why Bella is wearing his cloak. He sacrificed himself to protect her." Edward offered the last part as reassurance. Carlisle's discernment of the scent on the cloak Bella was wearing had led him to question her loyalty.
"What now?" Edward asked as Carlisle's mind became a tangled knot of concurrent thoughts.
After Alice called and informed me of your situation, I consulted with Tanya, Eleazar, and Esme regarding what path would be best for you, Bella, Dominic, and Gianna. We've agreed that the four of you should take up residence at the Denali Compound with Kate and Garrett. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett will accompany you there. It's our hope that with their support, within a year you and Bella can work through any outstanding issues as well as get Bella and Gianna through the newborn phase. From there, you all can decide on whatever future you desire.
In Carlisle's thoughts Edward not only heard the tone of a concerned father, but of a coven leader as well. Carlisle's plan was not a suggestion; it was a directive. One Edward chose not to challenge. "You're not coming."
You will leave today, but I will remain here with Esme, Carmen, Tanya, and Eleazar. We will assist in the formation of a new government. Eleazar maintained many of the ties to the vampire elite he established as part of the guard. He will make contact with them to seek their counsel as well. He will also attempt to find possible surviving guard members to discover their value to the new government. It's risky, but Eleazar believes freedom from Corin and Chelsea's coercion might be all that's needed for a change of heart. Although we both believe if Jane and Alec survived, they are beyond redemption.
"Jane and Alec are ash, as well as Santiago. Chelsea and Afton escaped after helping us defeat the others, but Corin is at the bottom of the acid pit. Bella used her shield to obliterate her." Edward's tone was strangely matter-of-fact. "This is all I know for certain."
Carlisle raised his eyebrows in surprise, then they furrowed in concern. "There is much for you to tell me. However, I have to ask – how are you feeling? Eleazar and I found ourselves withdrawing from just one dose of Corin … most unpleasant."
Edward stared at the ground. "I'm still feeling the effects, but they are waning. Frequent feeding has helped as well as plenty of running." He heard Carlisle's next question bubble to the forefront of his mind. "And, yes, Bella's shield is more than just a defensive gift. She can project it as well. It is very powerful."
"If Aro knew her potential, I can see why he wanted her among the guard. And I can understand why he thought us a threat. Too bad he couldn't comprehend that possessing power doesn't necessarily mean we had any intention of usurping their control." Carlisle shook his head. "How ironic it is that I'm here begrudgingly doing the task he was convinced I coveted."
"Is there any chance Marcus survived?" Edward asked abruptly.
We have no way of knowing, but for Bella's sake, we will try to make a determination.
"Maybe Bella and I should stay. We can assist with the investigation…"
"No. I don't feel that is in your or Bella's best interest. I promise to communicate with you via cell phone with any news or questions." Carlisle's tone softened. "Son, the sooner you depart, the sooner you can close the book on this painful chapter of your life and begin a new one. I do believe you have changed, and I'd like nothing more than to see you and Bella scripting an alternate ending, one complete with the happily-ever-after you've earned."
( ~*~ )
All the seats on the small, luxurious jet were occupied on the trip home. Edward's siblings found it quite intriguing how Dominic slept through most of the transatlantic leg home as if he didn't have a care. As if he wasn't surrounded by vampires.
Gianna soundly reminded them she had his back – as well as the rest of him. She was also confident her "red-eyed sibling" would defend Dominic, explaining how she and Bella had both been sired by Marcus and were therefore sisters. Alice was quick to welcome her to the family as an in-law.
Sensing Edward and Bella needed time and space, they were respectfully left out of the casual conversation and they sat in silence toward the front of the plane. Edward listened to the friendly banter, but he also listened to their thoughts, which in many instances, held more concern and uncertainty than their spoken words. Like Carlisle, Edward's siblings had concerns about the damage the Volturi had inflicted on him and Bella and what lingering effects were possible. Based on what Carlisle had said, Edward surmised that he, Bella, Dominic, and Gianna were in for some lengthy debriefing and counseling while sequestered in Denali.
Meanwhile, Bella's thoughts and emotions were jumbled as she sat quietly next to Edward. At the root of her quandary was why had Edward attempted to take Tanya aside unnoticed before they left? Their conversation had been too hushed for her to hear, which made Bella even more disconcerted. But what really had her unable to dismiss the exchange was their body language. It seemed too … private and intimate. Edward appeared to be acting submissively. The scene refused to be ejected from her thoughts.
Edward had proven he was willing – and able – to change, but he was still keeping secrets. She wondered if all newlyweds have trouble delineating personal boundaries such as which secrets were okay to keep and which should be shared. Her emotions began to get the best of her – jealously, worry, doubt.
Bella caught Jasper intensely staring at her, his eyebrow arching when they made eye contact. She knew what his expression meant. Jasper was gently reminding her of a discussion they had one day many months ago after she and Edward had argued. He said, "Humans tend to remember specific dates, names, and places when they reflect on history. But the wise man looks at the lesson that should be taken from those events, lest the successes – or failures – were for nothing."
Applying his words of wisdom, Bella made her decision. It wasn't the events she had experienced in Volterra that mattered. That was history. What she had to decide was how she would use the lessons learned…
"Edward, can I ask you something?" she asked quietly.
"Of course." He had been holding her hand since they took off, and now he brought the back of her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. Her vampire scent danced around him, caressing his face.
"What was it that you and Tanya discussed before we boarded the plane?" Again, that submissive look played over Edward's face. Only this time Bella recognized it for what it was – shame. "If you don't want to discuss it …"
"I don't."
She was about to sadly let the conversation go when his expression became very intense and serious and his grip on her hand tightened.
"I don't want to discuss it … but I will. We can't let anything come between us anymore; I realize that. I wasn't going to tell you because I did something I fear would upset you, and possibly cause you to think less of me." He squeezed his eyes shut. "My instinctual response is to protect you … and my own ego as well, I guess … by keeping my failures to myself. But Carlisle is right. Though we may be supernatural, we are far from perfect. I understand if we want to have the kind of relationship my father and mother have, I need to trust your love for me. That's what true love means, right? Not having to hide who you are?"
"For better or for worse," Bella whispered. "I am stronger now, and not just physically. You don't need to bear the weight of everything alone."
"The truth then." Edward drew strength from her hand in his. "When I thought you were … gone, I went into some kind of catatonic state. My mind recreated our lives together." Edward smiled fondly remembering the best part of the reality he had fashioned. "We had children. I watched them grow with you by my side."
Bella smiled wanly and she leaned closer to place a kiss on his cheek. "Go on."
"No one could reach me, but Tanya was determined. And she succeeded. With blood."
"Human …?" Bella wondered warily.
"No." Internally Edward was very grateful Tanya didn't resort to that. "Animal blood. But I reacted on instinct, the instinct to feed. And Tanya had recently fed ... I was confused, Bella. I didn't know what I was doing. Please don't misunderstand, I didn't mean anything by my actions. I'm sorry."
"Just say it." Bella's mind was conjuring up all sorts of possibilities, which quite frankly, were making the situation worse. "We can work through it together."
"I bit Tanya. I bit her on the neck." Edward hung his head, remembering what he had told Bella about vampires and the meaning behind neck biting. He could only hope she understood, in that moment, it was his need to possess due to the instinct to feed and not because he was claiming Tanya. "I owed her an apology for what I did. And a debt of gratitude. Her tough love did for me what no one else could have done."
"And did she accept your apology?" Bella asked, refusing to let images of Edward's mouth on Tanya's neck into her mind's eye.
"Yes. She did."
"Then I accept your apology as well. And it sounds like I, too, owe her my gratitude."
A feeling of calm and relief covered them both like a warm blanket.
"Is that Jasper?" Bella asked, observing the worry lines fade from Edward's face and sensing her own muscles relax.
Edward listened to isolate Jasper's thoughts then smiled. "No. It's just … us."
The two young lovers exchanged looks of triumph just as Alice leaned over their seats from behind. "Finally, a breakthrough." She winked and placed kisses on the top of both their heads before dashing back to her husband's lap.
( ~ * ~ )
As the travelers approached the rustic Denali home, Garrett and Kate opened the door bearing smiles to welcome their guests. Room assignments were the first order of business as everyone appeared emotionally fatigued and in need of downtime.
When the host and hostess got to Dominic and Gianna, Kate leaned away from Dominic. "How can you stand that … odor?" she asked Gianna pointedly.
Already versed on Kate's gift, Gianna turned to Garrett. "Does she ever misfire? You know what I mean, do you get zapped on occasion?"
"Sometimes, when I'm really good, she loses control." Garrett winked at Kate, who raised her hand in warning. Emmett snickered, knowing Garrett had best keep quiet or suffer the shocking consequences.
"And how do you stand that?" Gianna pressed.
"I've gotten used to it. I'm crazy about her and it's worth it," Garrett responded with a shrug.
Gianna looked at Kate. "Dominic's my mate. I've gotten used to it … and it's so worth it."
As Emmett high-fived Dominic, Kate smiled, mollified with Gianna's answer. However, she still relegated Gianna and Dominic to the back wing of the compound.
As Dominic and Gianna used their alone time to work through their issues, Edward and Bella spent long hours with Jasper, his talent and experience making him uniquely qualified to help them talk and process all that had happened. Usually, the pseudo-counseling sessions were broken up by Emmett who insisted it was time to "let Bella and Edward go out to play."
Hunting trips were always the highlight of her days; a time to run and enjoy each other's company. Though at times Bella missed her parents and her humanity, it was during these times she undoubtedly knew she was destined to be a vampire.
As per their routine, Edward also spent time each day discussing his and Bella's progress with Carlisle, as well as getting updates on the events in Volterra. Several weeks into their rehab (a term Emmett chose to use), Bella sought Edward out after a particularly lengthy conversation with Carlisle.
"Sounds like things might be moving forward with the new government," she half-stated, half-asked Edward as she poked her head into Eleazar's office.
He smiled, happy as usual to see her face. "The fall of Volturi rule has spread to the established covens and many have sent representatives. Some to vie for a position in the new regime, some just to satisfy curiosity. Carlisle says the influx of visitors has been quite a balancing act. There cannot be an impression no one is governing, yet establishing a rule everyone would be agreeable to is nearly impossible."
Bella entered the wood-paneled room, contemplating what Edward had said. "In this day of modern weapons, digital cameras, and information able to travel in the blink of a human eye, every vampire must appreciate the need for concealment. I suppose that wasn't always the case."
"True. And Carlisle has found them motivated and willing to work the process."
Bella needlessly shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "You said any surviving members of the guard would possibly be welcomed. Has that happened? Did anyone survive?"
Edward heard the nervous tremor in her voice. "Remember, you are safe, Bella. Aro's greed caused a disastrous downfall that will not be repeated if our new government is constructed carefully and wisely." He hesitated until he saw her relax slightly. "Carlisle said any guards who return can petition for a position on the Senate Council after extensive evaluation, but cannot ever be members of the Triumvirate. So far, Demetri and Felix have made their existence known. Their testimony proved valuable in revealing how corrupt the Volturi had become."
"What of the wives?" Bella narrowed her eyes. "And Renata and Heidi? Chelsea and Afton?
Edward folded his hands fluidly atop Eleazar's desk. "Demetri and Felix were questioned for hours. Demetri openly admitted he spent nonstop days tracking Sulpicia, Athenodora, and Renata, who had fled together. He eventually stopped when he began to see through the fog of Chelsea's effect and realized he had no real reason to pursue them any longer. Demetri believes that once the women recover from withdrawal and truly taste freedom, they too will choose their own paths. So for now, it's a waiting game."
Bella nodded once, not quite reassured but of the understanding there was nothing more she could do. "I can understand why Aro tried to control everything. The unknown is very unsettling." And that makes me feel vulnerable, a dark corner of her mind interjected.
"Demetri suspects Heidi was killed in the fire as he never picked up her trail. And until he spoke with Eleazar, Demetri had believed Chelsea and Afton also perished as he was unable to track them."
"How did they do that?" Bella asked perplexed. "Evade a tracker who knows them so well?"
Edward sighed and shook his head. "My guess is Afton and Chelsea had a contingency plan in place should the knowledge of their child come to light. Since I've seen first hand their willingness to protect the child, it would make sense."
Bella's hands clenched at her sides, anxiety mounting. "Marcus? Did Demetri say ...?"
"He never found a trail," Edward said, observing her reaction closely.
Bella moved her eyes to the large bay window behind Edward. It was snowing again. "So tell me more about this Triumvirate and Senate."
He paused, wondering if he should address the turmoil Bella was still experiencing over her lost sire, the man who both took her humanity and helped set them free. He decided to let it drop for now. "The vampires who have shown genuine interest in a new government recently took a vote. The ruling three will be Eleazar, Vladimir, and Maggie. They will accept counsel and recommendations from a nine-member Senate, which will be chosen in a process yet to be determined. Since corruption was an issue with the previous rulers, term limits for the Triumvirate and Senate are being discussed as well."
Bella raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "So the Romanians have returned to rule in part … Who is Maggie?"
"She is part of a well-established coven from Ireland, and a friend of Carlisle's. Maggie, Carlisle said, impressed those in attendance with her interrogation skills at Felix and Demetri's hearing – and it helps that she has the gift to detect mistruths. She is a petite woman, but like Alice, a force not to be taken lightly."
Edward's expression of seriousness made her wonder if he had dealt with Maggie's wrath head on at some point. "I thought Carlisle would have been offered a key position."
"Our lifestyle choice limits our acceptance among our own kind. Carlisle said there was quite a lively debate regarding a golden-eyed vampire taking a ruling seat – another was completely out of the realm of possibility – at least for now." Edward's eyes intensified in color, and in them Bella saw his glimmer of hope that more vampires might follow their new leader's example and chose a "vegetarian" lifestyle. "With his experience and established reputation, Eleazar was the best choice."
"Will Carlisle pursue a Senate seat?"
Edward shook his head. "Tanya said she would, but Carlisle and Esme want to come home as soon as possible. However, Eleazar has asked Carlisle to remain as his personal advisor until the transition is complete."
"So, you are still hopeful." Bella sat into a leather winged-backed chair facing Edward.
"Yes. We still need a government with, if you'll excuse the expression, bite. I think there will be the right combination of wisdom and enforcement capabilities." Edward rose and rounded Eleazar's desk. He took Bella's hand and gently pulled her to her feet. Gently, he tucked her hair behind her ears, revealing more of her beautiful face. "We have been working very hard in 'rehab' and I think we deserve a break. I've had an idea in my mind for some time, and I think now is the time to finally put that plan into action."
Alice's voice rang out, "It's about time! I'll tell everyone you two are off limits tonight."
A thrill shot up Bella's spine. "'Off limits'? You mean just us? Alone? Out of the house?" Bella asked hopefully, tired of the limitations vampire ears put on any real privacy during intimacy. And after discovering out how much Edward had been holding back along with knowing just how unbreakable she was … well… time out of the house and alone was worth getting excited about. Vampire government details slipped quickly from her thoughts. Priorities…
Edward nodded, his signature lopsided grin sending electric pulses across her skin. She locked her arms around his waist and pulled him against her; the rush of air that was expelled from the space between them was an arousing mix of their scents.
"Hey. Watch that newborn strength," he protested with little vigor.
"I only have this strength for a limited time and I plan to use it to my advantage. Now, tell me what you have planned."
"I can't. It's a surprise."
Bella frowned. "I still hate surprises. That hasn't changed."
"Well, all this honesty has me nostalgic for just a little secrecy." Edward held up his index finger and thumb demonstrating the pinch of leniency he was hoping to coax out of her. "Indulge me. I think I've earned it."
Bella stroked her smooth chin in an over exaggerated manner. "Hmm. I could probably squeeze it out of you if I wanted to …"
Alice's voice rang out from another part of the sprawling home, "I've seen how happy you are with his surprise, Bella. Believe me, you don't want to ruin it!"
Forcing a smile, Bella admitted through gritted teeth, "Okay, you win. I am looking forward to the privacy."
Alice's tinkling laughter left them both smiling.
"Meet me here at six. Wear something … sexy," Edward added.
( ~ * ~ )
As soon as Bella stepped out of the kitchen, Alice swooped in. "I've got the perfect outfit for you to wear!"
"Alice…"
"I won't take 'no' for an answer. Living here with no real shopping – ugh! It's driving me batty – no pun intended."
Bella laughed, still finding amazement in the pleasant sound of her own laughter. "Okay, I suppose you already know I'm going to give in. Do your worst."
Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "My worst? Dear sister, you will outshine the stars tonight."
Grabbing Bella by the hand, Alice whisked her to the room she shared with Jasper – Irina's old room. Hanging on the door of the large cherry armoire was a tea-length, pale blue, silk gown, tailored to the waist and then flaring out to the hem.
Bella clasped her hand over her mouth.
"I know, right," Alice gushed reading Bella's expression. "Isn't it just perfect!?"
The blue was reminiscent of the color ice turns when snow falls on a glacier and becomes compressed. It was one of the awesome sights she was able to see on an extended hunting trip.
Bella turned to Alice. "How long have you had this?"
"Well, I saw Edward's plan for this evening before we left Volterra …"
"And it's not over the top?"
"No. I know what he'll be wearing. The two of you will look incredible."
"Of course," Bella huffed, defeated again by Alice's sight and shopping prowess.
Though she didn't actually admit it out loud, Bella enjoyed the next hour of Alice's fussing. At a certain point in her makeover, Rosalie joined them in helping Alice curl Bella's long locks with a large-barreled curling iron. It was very much like the preparations for her and Edward's wedding day. A memory that brought a smile to her face.
"There." Alice announced as she slipped the finishing touch on Bella's feet: a pair of transparent pumps.
"Seriously? 'Glass slippers'?" Bella deadpanned.
"It's a magical night," Alice said straight-faced, "Go with the theme, please."
Bella stood and twirled around to appease Alice. The bottom of the dress flared out and then swished against the skin of her shapely legs when she stilled. "So where's my tiara?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Please. There is only room for one princess in Denali."
Alice and Bella laughed, and Bella actually started to feel like life could be "normal" again.
After that, maybe as "per the plan" or spontaneously, the three woman spent the next hour in conversation discussing the pros and cons of being newborn. It put many of Bella's concerns to rest, and her future came into clearer focus.
"Oh!" Alice exclaimed. "Look at the time! I think you have a prince to meet."
"This has been a magical night already," Bella admitted with heartfelt gratitude to the two women. They understood her meaning and hugged her in turn. In a blink, she was gone.
Edward was seated at the kitchen table when Bella arrived. She ducked her head shyly when she saw his expression as she entered the room. Although makeup was unnecessary for her perfect vampire complexion, Alice had applied blush to Bella's cheeks, knowing how much Edward had loved her human flush. Bella's hair had been meticulously curled into bouncing ringlets and pulled back from her face with two clips.
Once composed, Edward stood and Bella took a moment to appreciate the view. Edward was wearing a finely tailored black suit with silk lapels, his shirt and tie matching the ice blue color Bella wore. From behind his back he produced a bouquet of Forget-me-nots, the branched clusters of tiny blue, lavender, and white flowers complimented their attire to perfection.
"Alice is still a force to contend with. And she has truly outdone herself tonight," Bella smiled. Approaching Edward, she sniffed the bouquet, enjoying the scent of life that was missing in the cold Alaskan winter environment. "May I say you look quite dashing."
"And you. A vision beyond compare." He took her hand, kissing the back of it before guiding Bella into a ballroom dance twirl.
"Now, will you tell me what you have planned?" she asked.
"Yes."
Bella's eyes lit up.
"I'm going to get a vase, fill it with water, and put the flowers in it."
This time, his evasiveness elicited a pout from Bella, her bottom lip jutting out. Its glistening wetness mesmerized him and he couldn't resist taking it between his own lips. Her disappointment suddenly forgotten, Bella wrapped her arms around his neck returning the kiss. She released him when something square and hard pressed into her from within his breast pocket.
"What…?"
He cut her off. "Are you ready? I have something I want to show you that no one should ever miss while in Alaska."
Edward's excitement distracted her. "Are we going to run?"
His grin widened. "Yes, my swift gazelle. We are running. Straight north."
Bella put her index finger to her lips indicating Edward be silent. Once he nodded with slight confusion, Bella bent down and removed her shoes. "Don't tell."
Edward removed his shoes as well and they fled out the back door, the flowers forgotten on the table.
They held hands as they ran to the northern most part of Denali National Park where the twinkling stars were incalculable, making the crisp night truly breath-taking. Once they climbed beyond the tree line, the sight Edward wanted Bella to see came into spectacular view.
She gasped as colors exploded against the black canvas of the sky. Dancing and flickering, more magical that the best Fourth of July fireworks display she had ever seen.
Edward relished the look of awe on her face, her wide eyes reflecting the sky's brilliant green color with swirling wisps of pink and blue.
"The Northern Lights!" she whispered. "I've seen pictures, but…"
"But it's a whole different spectacle from vampire eyes, isn't it."
"Yes." She turned to face him. "Thank you. It's a wonderful gift. And so were the flowers."
"I have several presents for you on this special night of gift giving. Bella, it's Christmas Eve."
At first she looked bewildered. Time had no meaning in Denali. And she had dedicated her time here to finding peace and her place within her family. It was a time to expel as many demons as she could without distraction and create a new beginning with the man she had eternity to love.
Then her expression fell. "But I don't have anything to give you."
"All I ever wanted was your heart, Bella." Before her, Edward got down on one knee, his eyes sparkling like the stars. Simultaneously, he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a box. Bella gasped as he opened the velvet container to reveal a plain wedding band. Next to it, an engraved Cullen Crest band.
"Bella, the last time I proposed I promised to love you every moment of forever. And I have. I have loved you with all that I am. Unfortunately, that love was immature. Now that my eyes have been opened to the error of my ways, I am asking for a second chance. Mature love is about two people finding their way together. It is about trust, honesty, and compromise. It is about learning to grow – together. This is what I promise you tonight."
Breathless, Bella got down on her knees in front of him as the prickling of unshed tears made her blink rapidly. "That's all I ever wanted. Not to walk in your shadow, but by your side. I know you love me, more than anyone ever will. Can you let me love you? I accept who you are, and I also know we will both make mistakes on our journey. But that's okay as long as we go through it together."
"Can we modify our vows?" he asked.
She remembered he had said things had changed and he wished to amend their vows, but only now did she realize he had not been threatening her, he was preparing for their new future. "Yes."
"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, do you take the man before you to be your equal? To love him and cherish him despite any lapses into old behavior? Will you correct him with gentle kindness?"
Bella laughed softy. "I will."
Taking her left hand, Edward slipped the wedding ring on her finger. Upon examining it more closely, Bella realized it wasn't a replacement for her missing wedding band; it was her original band. "This is my wedding ring! How did you …?"
"Turns out Dominic kept it for safe keeping. You were right; he's a good man, Bella." Edward then reached into his pant's pocket. "And, of course, Alice thinks of everything. She did her best to replace my ring."
A twinge of pain stabbed Bella's heart and she frowned. "They stripped you of your identity as well."
"Tonight is not about looking back, it's about moving forward," Edward reminded her lovingly.
He held the simple band out to her and she took it, quickly forming vows for Edward to take. "Do you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, promise to love yourself as much as you love your wife? Will you include her in all facets of your life and truly consider her to be your helpmate?"
"I will." The ring slid on his finger. It felt right. "May I kiss the bride?"
"You better!"
"Hmm," Edward said thoughtfully. "I think I like the more assertive Bella."
As was becoming her signature move, Bella pulled him against her.
"Definitely. I definitely like the assertive Bella," he growled. Sensing the clothes ripping was about to commence, he quickly added, "One more gift." Edward removed the Cullen Crest ring from the box. The lid snapped shut with a muffled pop.
Bella hesitated when Edward reached for her hand.
"Bella?" Her hesitation baffled him.
"I don't know if I have earned that right back quite yet," she admitted.
"Carlisle and Esme welcomed you," he insisted. "And Jasper is convinced we are on the right track."
Bella cocked an eyebrow in reproach.
"I can't help it." Edward shrugged. "Besides, you have to admit, being able to read the counselor's thoughts has its advantages," he said ruefully before deftly returning to the point he was trying to make. "The bonding you did today with Alice and Rosalie has restored their confidence in you. And quite frankly, Emmett never had any doubts. He has a way of seeing into the soul of others. I've never shared that with him, but he seems to instinctively know who is a friend and who is a foe. He never once believed you would be swayed by the Volturi."
"Emmett's heart is pure."
"Let me convince you yours is as well." Edward held the ring up. It was not like her original ring – the crest carved from ivory mounted on a polished background of black onyx. This one was made of metal. "Platinum," he said. "The rarest metal on this earth. Also one of the strongest and most brilliant. It reminded me of you and your love for me."
He took in her expression. She was flattered, deeply touched by his words, but not yet convinced.
"The engravings. The hand, a pledge of faith and sincerity. I believe we have made great strides in that direction, Bella. And the vows we just took…"
She nodded emphatically.
He continued. "The lion, courage. Bella, you have demonstrated courage countless times. Keeping up with immortals, facing down Victoria, falling for me…" He grinned playfully at her.
"You have a valid point on the last one."
His expression regained its seriousness. "In Volterra you were willing to be changed to protect our coven, you faced many challenges alone, and you took on the Volturi and their guard. Few, if any, vampires have done that and survived."
Bella looked into Edward's eyes; there was no ridicule in them, only sincerity.
"After all that, you bowed humbly in front of my father. You heard it come from his lips. That took courage."
He could see her start to waiver. The enormity of what she had endured becoming real for her. "And finally, the three clovers. Perpetuity. Eternity. Forever."
Bella didn't need Edward to explain forever. "You win," she muttered. Relieved, he slid the ring on her left ring finger. It joined perfectly with her wedding band.
Overwhelmed by his words, the flood of truth he spoke of her experience, and seeing the rings form a flawless bond, Bella felt that familiar feeling of everything being pulled in toward her, like when her shield was priming to be released. But she knew it wouldn't explode outward and harm Edward, there wasn't an ounce of anger or malice in her heart, mind or soul …
"What...?" Edward asked perplexed, and then he froze, lost in a flood of images so intimate, they could only have come from Bella's mind.
It was all there, everything he had missed seeing in her mind – the first day she saw him, the moment she had realized she loved him, their first dance, the day she saved him at the clock tower, her thoughts of love for him even as she kissed Jacob, their wedding night…
He grabbed her hands to secure himself, the pleasure of the thoughts and memories almost too much to bear.
The images abruptly ceased.
"What was that? Edward's eyes were wide with amazement.
"My … anti-shield?" Bella's face held a look of excitement and hope.
"Do it again. Please." He added the last word to soften his overzealous demand.
The experience actually left her mentally drained. "There's no rush. We have forever."
He wrapped his arms around her. "Agreed, forever."
Bella rested her head against his chest. She couldn't remember ever feeling so at peace with herself and her place in the world. Her true strength came not from being a vampire, but from looking within and realizing if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. She and Edward had truly received a second chance to build a foundation that could withstand the test of time.
Edward's embrace tightened as she pulled all the elation she felt into herself and thought about Dominic and Gianna.
"Yes, love. Of course we will help them. When you are ready, the four of us will take a road trip to Forks – to the Reservation."
Edward felt her head nodding against his chest.
"I like that idea ... when I'm ready."
With the Aurora Borealis creating a fantasy-like backdrop, the prince kissed the princess – and all was right within their kingdom. The setting was perfect for a happily ever after.
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell,
When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well.
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas.
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.
The End
A/N: The end? The end! Say it isn't so!
Okay, I will. Hopefully it was obvious I have one more chapter up my sleeve - a future-take of Dominic going to the Rez. And maybe, just maybe, more after as inspiration strikes (via my brain or your suggestion).
From the very beginning of this story, I knew there would be plenty of self-doubt, regret, and death. My hope was that the bitterness would make the ending that much more sweeter. I would love to know if I succeeded in that respect. However, I would truly consider this story a success if you were entertained and found some nugget of wisdom to reflect on or remember.
Thank you to everyone who submitted a review (or several!). You are at the heart of this story, my reason for working so hard to produce something enjoyable and riveting (hence the use of twists to keep you guessing and scenes that may have evoked any number of emotions). And if you haven't already, do check out the soundtracks from the Twilight movies. I absolutely love how they make me feel.
Most of all, thank you to Ashling92, RowanMoon and RosaBella75. With them, writing this story was like taking a extended, crazy road trip where once you've reached the end, you immediately want to do it again! (And we will since RosaBella and I are making our first attempt at getting something published!).
Thank you all.
- To see the good in your heart, look no further than into the eyes of those who love you
