I wrote all these chapters in one big burst, can you tell?


I will not convince my Potions teacher that a Muggle blender would be perfect for potions if only it worked around high concentrations of magic, even if I genuinely believe it to be true.

I will not enter the girls' dormitory solely to prove I can, despite the numerous workable plans I have in mind to do so.

I will not try to climb the side of the castle with only some rope and a harness.

I will not use Engorgio on fruit flies.

I will not Reducto a number of mirrors and leave their broken remains in the North Tower with the note, 'I wish you all the luck you gave to me.'

I will not use magenta ink on essays.

I will not sign my name 'Roonil Wazlib'.

I will not enchant my best friend's alarm clock to beat him about the head with a cushion when he doesn't wake up on time, no matter how hilarious I find it.

I will not sneak into the girls' dormitory to infuse my female best friend's hairbrush with Sleekeazy's Hair Potion, no matter how grateful she is.

I will not charm all of my best friend's pants maroon.