I Don't Know How to Love Him
Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out?
Sarah closed her eyes and nestled in closer to Jareth. She had never really been one for spooning, but this felt right. It felt good to lie with his firm chest against her back and one of his arms draped protectively over her side. She let herself relax and began to drift off to sleep, only to be roused a few minutes later when he moved slightly beside her. His lips gently grazed her ear before he whispered softly into it.
"I love you, Precious Sarah."
Sarah's eyes snapped open and she was grateful that her back was to him.
"He loves me?" she thought, alarmed. "Isn't that just a line to get what he wants? To win?"
Deep down, Sarah knew he was being honest in that quiet, moonlit moment when he'd thought she was asleep. What reason would he have to lie if he didn't know she was awake? Besides, she had seen the way he had looked at her the last time they had been intimate.
The first two times they had had sex that evening had been desperate blurs of lips and hands and limbs, fueled by lust and the Damiana-laced soup. By the third round however, the effects of the soup had worn off and it had been different: slow, thoughtful, deliberate. Jareth hadn't just touched her; he'd caressed her, tracing his beautiful bare hands in slow, lazy circles over every inch of her body. He had kissed her differently as well. Where before his kisses had been fierce and rough, they became deep, tender and passionate.
Sarah fought down the lump in her throat. The look in Jareth's eyes as he'd slowly moved on top of her had told her everything. He had made love to her.
She wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. The Goblin King was in love with her.
But what no one knew…
That had always just been part of a silly story, a fantasy. She had never given him any reason at all to love her. And what about her feelings? What did she feel for him? She was attracted to him, certainly. They were more than compatible, at least in bed. The sex was mind-blowing, but what about the rest of the time? Surely, headboard-banging, toe-curling, so-good-it-hurts sex couldn't make up for fact that Jareth was a pompous ass and she was a stubborn drama queen.
"We'd kill each other," she said aloud.
"Mm?" asked Jareth sleepily.
"Nothing," Sarah told him. "Go back to sleep."
Jareth sighed contentedly and pulled her tighter to him and Sarah's heart squeezed uncomfortably in her chest. He wasn't supposed to make her feel this way. He was supposed to make her angry, irritated, maybe even hot and bothered, but he wasn't supposed to make her feel this.
Jareth hadn't meant to make such a declaration, but at the time it had felt like the thing to do. Sarah had been asleep anyway and hadn't heard. Not that he was embarrassed or afraid of rejection. He had already groveled to her once before and she'd spurned him. He was beyond embarrassment and fear.
He knew she must know how he felt. He'd tried to make her see when he'd made love to her that last time. The first two times had been all about lust and pleasure and eight-and-a-half years of unfulfilled longing. The last time however, he'd tried to pour everything he felt out to her. Every touch, every kiss, every time he had moved within her had been a passionate declaration of his love.
"Gods, I'm such a fool for this woman," he thought, smiling wistfully. He felt giddy and ridiculous. Leave it to a willful, green-eyed mortal girl to reduce the powerful Goblin King to a love-sick wreck. But this was nothing new. He'd been lost the first time he had seen her in that pretty little green park. She was newly fifteen, but unlike most girls her age she didn't hang out with friends at the shopping malls or hamburger joints. Wearing her white princess dress, she went to the park every afternoon with her book and her dog and entered into the world of her imagination. Jareth watched her performances with rapt attention. She seemed oblivious to the outside world in those moments. She didn't hear the passing automobiles or the younger children screaming to be pushed on the swings. Sarah was in her dream world.
It was during one of those dreamy moments that Jareth decided to give her a small gift, a tiny taste of his power. He watched from his perch as Sarah delivered her dramatic monologue, and then with a flick of his snowy wing he bestowed a measure of dream-sight to her. Sarah paused in awe as the landscape of the park changed and the land of her imagination took shape. The flat plains became rolling green hills topped with a dazzling array of colorful flowers. The little pond stretched into a vast turquoise sea, and the old wooden gazebo grew into a tall, glittering castle. Sarah smiled appreciatively and continued with her play-acting. Jareth saw the wild delight on her face and he knew in that moment that he loved her. She was reckless and free and innocent and she loved the fantastic and magical. She could believe in him. She could love him.
"She could," thought Jareth as he watched the sun beginning to peek through the blinds on Sarah's bedroom window. "But did she?"
She hadn't hesitated to let him remain with her, even when the effects of the soup had worn off. She had pulled him down to her and kissed him with the same depth and fervor with which he had kissed her.
Jareth knew Sarah wasn't that same dreamy little thing he had seen in the park all those years ago. She had been different even when she had left him in the labyrinth. Yet, she still maintained that air of wide-eyed wonder and innocence. Perhaps that was why he had been so compelled to intervene so often in her career. He couldn't bear to see her innocence destroyed anymore than he could bear to think of any other man touching her. She had been with others; he wasn't blind to that fact. But her dalliances were all short-lived and never of any depth. Jareth had always secretly hoped he was the reason that Sarah couldn't find a lasting relationship, and that all those ridiculous, unworthy young men were merely poor replacements for him.
Sarah stirred slightly in his arms and Jareth placed a tender kiss on her shoulder. It was probably best for him to get some sleep. The morning would bring with it plenty of difficult questions that he wasn't sure he had the answers to. There was a very real chance he would return to the labyrinth with a broken heart. Again. For now though, Sarah was in his arms, and that was enough.
A/N:
Today's installment is obviously on the more serious side. I really wanted to give a little insight to the internal conflicts going on with these two as well as a bit of back-story. If this continues, there will most likely be more laughs on the way, but we hopefully won't veer back to the silliness of the Goblin flu. Thanks to all who have read and commented!
First one to guess the musical gets nothing because I am a poor Arts educator and have nothing of value except knowledge and talent. And humility.
