I will not write sonnets on the joys of having indoor plumbing. I will also recall that while 'plumbing' and 'slumming' do rhyme, there are not many sane people willing to listen to why you felt the need to write said sonnet without becoming very disturbed.

I will not attempt to switch my glasses for a monocle.

I will not attempt to switch my glasses for two monocles.

I will not dress as a Death Eater for Halloween.

I will not create a rating system that compares the Howlers students get to each other.

I will not create a game that involves cursing Howlers to burn/explode/tear up before it starts screaming.

I will not remind Ronald Weasley immediately before he sits down to lunch of the Slug-Spewing Hex he once suffered.

I will not wear a Muggle gas mask for Potions class, no matter how amusing I find my classmates' terrified reactions.

I will not come to detention wearing a dressing gown and slippers.

I will not inform Peeves that he is my pet, no matter how hilarious he finds this.