Chapter 22 – Denial
Today I didn´t want to be at school over time as I usually was, just to prevent being alone with a certain someone, in order not to be asked various questions I couldn´t quite give an answer to. I was certain that by that time of the morning, there should be at least a few inklings who would already wait there for the school day to finally end again. But when I opened the door which lead to our classroom, my heart skipped a beat when my eyes met the one´s which I wanted so badly to avoid today! There he was, the only Inkling in the room who assumingly had cleaning duty today, since he was just about to water the plants.
,,Shoot.. shoot.. shoot! What to do?! What to do?!" , I screamed in my head.
It felt like hours when we just stared at each other.
After an eternity I finally entered the room, put my bag next to my desk and seated myself on my chair. While doing all that, I greeted Shiro with the most normal "Good morning" I could say, just in order not to be impolite. The plan was of course to ignore him the rest of the day just after the greeting, but the gray eyed Inklingboy seemed to have other plans, since he placed the watering can on the floor and shyly approached me.
,,´Morning..", he audible gulped. ,,How are you?"
Silence. Not with me, Masato. I will stick to my plan!
,,Did I.. Ugh.. I know you are mad at me, but I didn´t figure out why yet. So.. Could you please stop giving me the silent treatment and just say what´s wrong?", he said with a clear and determined voice.
Still silence. I mustn´t talk to him!
,,I know if you did something wrong then you should think about your mistake and then apologize and I truly DID think about every single thing I´ve said and done to you, but the last time we said our goodbyes to each other we were in good terms, so can´t you just say what´s both...", Shiro continued almost desperately when he was interrupted by a loud voice.
,,Oh my, the lovesquids are back at it again!", Lukas entered the room, followed by Mari.
Mari answered quite annoyed by that comment:,, Stop calling them that. You´re so childish! And by the way, they aren´t like that at all. You really should buy some glasses, Lukas."
,,Umm, the only one who needs to buy some glasses is you, Mari. But I´m sure you will still look cute with them." The green coloured squid winked at my friend and put an arm around her waist in a flirting gesture. ,,Seems like you´re stuck with me."
Mari on the other hand quickly glanced at Shiros reaction to Lukas closeness with her. In order to prevent Shiro from having any thoughts about Mari being in a relationship with Lukas, she quickly broke the physical contact with him and seated herself quite embarrassed on her chair.
Shiro didn´t seem to care one bit about their relationship though. Instead he was still fixed on me.
And since the two of them seemed to have calmed down again, he tried his luck again by asking:,, Can´t you just tell me what I did wrong?"
,,Hmm? Did something happen?", this caught Lukas attention.
Mari also leaned forward and asked:,, Did you two have a fight?"
,,None of your..", Shiro started but I cut him off by saying:,, Would you please just leave me alone?"
The light blue Inkling was visibly caught off guard by that but quickly recovered.
,,Aww, come on! How long will you play hard to get?! I seriously don´t know what.."
It hurt. It truly did. But I had to.
I looked him directly in the eyes:,, I think you don´t understand. I am not mad at you. I just don´t want to talk or have to do anything with you anymore, understand? So just leave me alone, okay?"
,,Wha.. You can´t be serious! Just tell me...!"
But Shiro never came to finish his sentence since the most of our classmates now stormed into our classroom including our teacher. And that was about the whole contact I had with Shiro that day. Luckily you logically can´t talk to each other during a teaching lesson and during school breaks I made sure to stay busy by for example staying near a teacher, discussing the upcoming festival plans with them.
When school was finally over, I had been the first who stormed out of class, just to avoid more questions. On my way home I figured I shouldn´t let my mother see me depressed like I was, so I decided to put my aggression into some ranked battles. But why was I so mad in the first place? I made a decision and everything was settled now. I just had to do things like I had done before. Sure the gray eyed Inklingboy had been the first one who had ever flirted with me. Maybe even more than that. But it wasn´t just meant to be. And even if we had been childhood friends. I didn´t even remember one bit of him. So the whole thing with him had been just a summer flirt or something like that, right? I should be able to shake it off! More importantly was clearly my mother who I shouldn´t bother with such trivial things, since she had already enough on her plate.
I shook these thoughts out of my system as I had reached Inkopolis city. I quickly registered myself for the next upcoming battles and threw myself in my usual battle gear and clothes. Neither did I care which map we would play on nor the teammates I had. The only thing that mattered was to distract myself. To get rid of these feelings and frustrations.
Moray Towers and Walleye Warehouse. Not the worst locations to play ranked battles at. The maps weren´t really a problem for me. It was the kind of battle we should play. Rainmaker. I liked the principle to carry the rainmaker to a certain location. The problem however was to HOW to do it. Usually my teammates wouldn´t even care to snatch the Rainmaker. Often they would just care to make many kills or they would even forget about the game´s principle and would colour the turf with their ink instead.
So in this mode I preferred to count mostly only on myself, trying to get the rainmaker as fast as possible and making my way to the enemy's base. And since I was a quick swimmer thanks to the effects on my gear, I planned to stick to my old tactics. What I didn´t know though, was that a very skilled Inklingboy acted as a kind of defense machine. Meaning that he as a sniper guarded their territory quite well. Too well for my liking. In fact he was so good that I had lost every single battle which made me lose my S+ rank !
More frustrated than before I quit playing after losing my rank.
Still in the lobby though, I angrily punched a wall, complaining:,, Are you squiding me?! My S+ rank! You can´t be serious! That.. That!"
,,Yes?"
I quickly turned around to see who answered me, only to see the bright blue Inklingboy who was the cause of my loss. I was furious! At that moment I would have loved to yell the squid out of him!
But I shouldn´t. He won fair and square. And it would have been very impolite as well.
So I brushed all of my emotions aside and answered:,, My apologies. It´s quite frustrating to lose your rank, but I have to admit that you very deserve your victory. Well played."
With that I sucked my pride and offered him a handshake which he accepted.
,,So what is it?", the purple eyed Inklingboy asked.
I raised an eyebrow at that:,, What do you mean?"
,,Why would an elite squid like you play so terribly bad?"
My eyes widened. Did he.. Did that Jerk just insult me?!
,,Pardon?"
,,You heard me right. I would have expected more from the talented and praised Suzu Hoshino."
Stay calm Suzu. He´s not worth it. You must stay calm and handle this situation perfectly. After all you are perfect, right?
,,I´m quite disappointed."
Tears. Tears which I couldn´t stop from streaming down my face. He was right. And I was wrong. I had been a failure in this match. A failure in being a friend or perhaps more.. A failure to myself. I was everything but perfect.
,,Ugh.. Suzu? I am so sorry, I didn´t mean to.."
But I didn´t listen. I just ran. Ran back to the darkness which had become my home..
