Title: Extraordinary Measures

Author: J.M. Flowers

Rating: M

AN: One more chapter, and then an epilogue after this one. I don't think I'll ever be ready to completely let this story go. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming on the ride with me.


Illis quos amo deserviam

For those I love I will sacrifice

Senna flicks the machine to life, it's gentle whir filling the floor. She leads Arizona through the procedure one last time, the needles laid out in order on the tray, before she slips from the room. Left alone, we stare at each other.

"Are you ready?" Arizona asks softly.

I shake my head. How can I possibly be ready for this? "I just..." The words catch in my throat. "I just need to look at you for one more minute." I cradle her head between my hands, watching as tears pool in her eyes. "I love you," I promise, "I will always love you. No matter what happens. No matter what it looks like here, after I'm gone. I love you, always. I love you forever, in every layer, every part of me. You will always be the love of my life."

Tears spill over, tumbling down her cheeks. "I love you, Calliope. I love you no matter what happens, no matter where we are. You're the love of my life, too."

I kiss her softly, slowly. A tingle sparks at the bottom of my spine, dancing up my back, flushing my cheeks. The excitement of kissing her - a feeling I vow to never forget. We pull apart reluctantly, our foreheads set together. Desperate to stay connected as long as we possibly can.

"It's time," she mumbles.

And still, I'm not ready. We had our whole future planned out: a house, and kids. Pets. Growing old together, making an impact in our fields of medicine. A life three times longer than the one we got.

"Our first child," I whisper, "What would we have named her?"

A tentative smile breaks across her face. "Who says we'd have a girl first?"

A giggle bursts from my mouth, bubbling free with a couple more tears.

"Our daughter would've been Sofia."

"And our son?"

She thinks for a minute, eyes drifting upward. "Garner?"

"Reid."

"Mateo." She laughs, a wider smile filling her face. "We would've figured it out."

My eyes drop from hers. She lifts a hand, running it gently down my cheek. When she reaches my chin she uses a single finger to guide my gaze back to her own. "It would've been amazing," she swears. "We were amazing."

I swallow, a lump blocking my throat. More tears spill over, drippy faucet that I've become.

"Don't cry," she pleads, wiping the tears away with her thumbs. "Don't be sad anymore. Just be you, be my rock star. Be happy."

"I love you, Arizona."

"Don't wallow, when you go back. Try to... keep living."

I will. I'll try. I nod.

"I love you, too."

We slowly let each other go and I ease into the chair, rolling up my sleeve. She sets a needle against my forearm, focused. But I need her to see me. I need her to look me in the eyes. I grab her other hand, startling her.

"I love you," I say again.

She squeezes my hand. "I love you, too, Calliope."

I pull her fingers to my mouth, pressing kisses into her knuckles. "Goodbye, Arizona," I whisper.

"Sweet dreams." She lowers her mouth to my forehead. My eyes close, and for the first time... I'm not afraid. My heart isn't pounding out of my chest, my thoughts aren't running circles in my head. The world feels almost... calm; at peace.

The needle plunges into my vein, my vision wavers, my head spins, and then I hear her voice. Somewhere far away, swearing that she loves me, over and over and over.

The rush is startling; tipping me backwards so fast I think I'm going to be sick. There's the hum and the darkness and then my eyes flutter open and I'm right back at the beginning. I roll off the bed, fumbling across the room for the light switch. I don't even manage to flick it on before the pounding begins and Mark's on the other side calling my name and I have to do this one last time.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the hours ahead. The blood. The hurt.

And then I throw open the door and I'm leaping headfirst into it all. Full speed down the hallway, hot on Mark's heels. The thumping of our feet reminds me that this is real.

That it's almost over.

Alex heaves over the garbage can, contents of his stomach hitting the bottom noisily. The smell wafts, the first time I've ever noticed it, and my nose crinkles. I turn away from him, towards Kepner and her shaking hands. The ultrasound is clutched in her fists and it takes everything in me not to rip it from her fingers and try again. Do it right this time.

The gurney passes in front of me, blocking my path. Meredith hollers stats I can recite by heart. Arizona's blood pressure starts to drop, the O.R. is booked, Dr. Shepherd is paged. Everyone is moving at once, chaos all around me, but all I can see is her. Her eyelids flutter open, as if she senses me. For a second we're connected, just her and I - her eyes on mine. Her lips curve upward.

The elevator doors close behind them, the emergency room stuttering into silence.

"Callie," Mark whispers, reaching for me. He pauses with his fingers mere inches from my skin, still so unsure of what to do.

Teddy appears, dark blood marking a trail down the side of her face. I swallow a sudden onslaught of tears. "I'm so sorry," she chokes out, "I'm so sorry, Callie. The car just came out of nowhere."

I pull her into my arms, squeezing tightly. She sobs against me, body shaking. There's blood on my cheek when I let her go. "You need to get checked out," I tell her fiercely, "Have someone look at your head."

"I'm so sorry," she says again, her sobs even harder, her breathing heavier.

I look to Mark, forcing her into his care. "It's okay, Teddy," I swear, "You're going to be okay."

I run for the stairwell, barreling down the steps to the surgical floor. I forget the mask, I forget to scrub, all I can think of is her. I have to say my final words. I have to tell her that I love her.

Arizona's still conscious when I reach the table, the anesthesiologist's hands poised and ready to sedate her. I surge forward, pressing my lips against hers. She's smiling when I open my eyes, a single tear dribbling down her cheek. "I love you," I whisper, "I will always love you."

Her eyes close and that's it. It's over.

The sobs rip through me abruptly, my knees giving out. I drop to the floor, gasping for a breath I just can't find. Grasping for a life I'll never get back.

A nurse urges me to my feet, guiding me out of the operating room. But I don't have to know the rest. I don't have to see this to the end. It is done; I did exactly what she wanted.

#

"Welcome back, Dr. Torres," comes the gruff voice. Thick tenor. He pushes a needle into the curve of my arm. "That's the antidepressant," he says.

I cough. He presses a straw to my lips, murmuring softly that I should drink.

"How'd it go?" he asks once my eyes have opened and consciousness has seeped back beneath my skin. "Did you do all you needed to do?"

I nod, reaching for his hands. I grasp them between my own, squeezing. "Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you for helping me make my extraordinary."

He chuckles. "You already did, Callie, long before you met me. The machine has done nothing more than let you relive those memories."

I shake my head, sitting up so I can look him straight in the eye. "This machine is capable of so much more than you realize," I swear.

He laughs again, rolling backwards with his chair. His hands slip from mine. "It is just a memory machine, Callie. It does nothing more remarkable than what we allow it to see within us."

But there is a knowing in his eyes, a smirk upon his lips.

"It's time to go back to living, Callie."

#

The road home is long, certain. My thoughts drift, swirling through images of her face. The taste of her skin. The smell of her coconut shampoo. The curve of her mouth, the dimples in her cheeks, the freckle on her breast.

I make it up to the fifth floor without a single tear shed, relieved to be filled with the light of her, as opposed to the darkness of what was before. Before I kissed her again. Before I told her that I loved her. Before she held my hand and said goodbye.

Before we let go of forever.