Another nice and sunny day in Satan City. Gohan looked fly as usual in his red Nike Air Huaraches and bootleg Rolex watch. Today was a very special day for Gohan. He was going on his first ever school field trip! He sat down in the dining room with Goten for breakfast. Chichi was furiously cooking some egg and hashbrowns for the first time in months.
"God, I can't believe I had to pay $35 for your gay ass field trip!" Chichi complains as she viciously flips some potatoes. "You're lucky I have a steady following of people who donate to my live webcam shows or your ass would be sitting out."
Gohan rolls his eyes. "Geez mom, what's the point of sending me to school if you're just gonna bitch at me everytime you have to spend a dollar on my education!"
Chichi slams the pan back on the oven top. "So you don't become a fuck up like your father!" She mixes in various seasonings and spices to the pan of food. "Or Goten."
Goten looks up from his Playstation Vita. "Huh? What'd you say mom?" Goten asks confused.
"Look mom, I know you've been lonely and bitter ever since dad killed himself, but you don't need to be such a bitch all the time, especially towards Goten, he's just a kid and shit." Gohan sighs, folding his arms.
"That kid looks literally exactly like your father." Chichi prepares a plate for the two, and passes it over to them. "It's hard not to take all of my pent up anger and frustration on him."
Goten lifts the back of his shirt. "She's not kidding. She beats the shit out of me a lot."
Jesus christ I might have to call child protective services once I turn 18. Gohan starts digging into his breakfast.
"Hey Goten, still playing that gay Hatsune Miku shit?" Gohan mumbles with his mouth full.
"A-all the kids are playing this!" Goten slams his fork on the table, growling at Gohan. "Why don't you just fuck off to school so you can get your ass bullied already, fag!"
Gohan snatches his backpack off the table. "What the fuck, Goten, you just had to get personal like that."
"Hey pussy-er, I mean, son. Give this shit to Bulma on your way back home today." Chichi hands him a small prescription bottle.
"Huh? What's this, mom?" Gohan inspects the green bottle, then opens it up, a strong smell emanating from inside.
Chichi quickly snaps it shut before Gohan can look inside, but he has a pretty good idea what it is anyways. "Hey, I said this was for Bulma, squirt." She shoves him out the front door. "Now get the fuck out and go to school. Don't forget to give her that shit, or your ass is mine, got it?" Chichi sternly warns him then slams the door shut.
...
Shortly after, Gohan arrives in front of the school building, where his class is already waiting outside.
"Ah, Gohan, just in time." Mr. Punani greets him. "Have you got your permission slip, son?"
"Yeah, right here sir." Gohan hands him the slip from his backpack.
Mr. Punani inspects it. "Hm? Your mother's name is Chichi?"
"Um, yeah." Gohan replies.
"HotWidowChichi69 on ?" Mr. Punani asks.
"Huh? What the fuck are you talking about, sir?" Gohan asks, before the realization hits him. "Y-you, got the wrong person alright." He says with his voice low.
"No, no, that's definitely her!" Mr. Punani shouts so the whole class can hear. "That's why I thought you looked so familiar! I've been jacking off to your mother for years, she's a very talented woman."
"Check it out, guys, Gohan's mom is a porn star!" Sharpner shouts as the whole class laughs.
"Hey Gohan, think she'll suck my dick if I pay for your lunch ticket?" one of the kids asks.
Gohan snarls back at them. "Fuck off you guys."
"Alright, class, now that's enough about Gohan's mom. If you really want to see her, her name is HotWidowChichi69 on , make sure everyone writes that down." Mr. Punani instructs the class, as Gohan grows more and more angry.
"Wow, Gohan! Your mom is live right now!" Willy shouts as he shows Gohan his phone. His mom is doing some weird shit with a cucumber.
Gohan snatches the phone from Willy's hand and closes the tab. "Don't watch that shit in front of me! What the fuck, Willy?" Gohan snaps at him.
"Gee, I'm sorry, Gohan," Willy rubs his arm. "I was just doing what the teacher instructed."
"Fuckin' teacher's pet ass bitch." Gohan whispers under his breath.
"Alright, class, now that I've gotten everyone's permission slips and the bus is here, we can get a move on!" Mr. Punani announces, and begins rounding everyone up inside the bus.
Despite the rough morning already, Gohan was still excited for today's field trip, since they'd be going to the old Cell Games arena. Gohan was ready to impress the whole class with his knowledge and finally get the respect he deserves.
"God, this bus fucking sucks." Videl complains. "It smells like a port-a-potty and there's trash everywhere." She shuffles through a sea of empty beer cans as she walks to her seat.
"That's because I live here!" The bus driver explains proudly. "Been livin' in this bus for the past 14 years."
"Ever thought about cleaning up around here, asshole?" Erasa asks as she plugs her nose from the disgusting smell.
"This is a man-cave, sweetie, there's no such thing as cleaning in this domain."
Erasa shudders. "Ugh, gamers are such losers."
"Alright boys and girls, off we go!" The driver shouts as the bus finally begins moving.
Gohan immediately puts away his Nintendo 3DS. "Shit..." He leans over behind his seat, facing where Videl and Erasa are sitting. Gohan smiles at them for a few moments as they stare awkwardly.
"Um, hey loser?" Erasa glares at him. "Can you, like, fuck off a little bit? You're being really weird again."
"Um, sorry, just wanted ask if you guys were e-excited to go to the Arena.." Gohan asks shyly.
"I don't give a shit, my dad's taken me here like a million times already." Videl sighs. "I just want to go home so I can bitch about politics on Twitter all day."
"Yeah, no shit. No data out here." Erasa groans, turning off her iPhone.
Gohan rubs the back of his head nervously. "Er, well, my mom's friend is like, kind of a bitch, but also really smart so..." Gohan tries to explain, until Sharpner cuts him off.
"Heh, what's up with the nerd fest?" Sharpner grabs Gohan's face and shoves him back into his seat.
"Sup, ladies?" Sharpner grins. "Want to watch me chug this unopened can of beer I found on the floor?"
Videl and Erasa look at eachother, then shrug. "I guess. Not like we have anything better to do."
Sharpner snaps open the can and begins chugging it down like a mad man, devouring the whole thing within seconds.
"Hell yeah, that's what I call a fucking beverage!" Sharpner belches loudly.
"That's so gross Sharpner!" The two girls laugh at loud along with the rest of the students. Gohan simmers in anger.
"Grr, god damn that Sharpner, always one-upping me!" Gohan slaps his knee.
Willy finds another unopened can of beer on the ground. "Here, Gohan, why don't try doing it faster than him?"
Gohan takes the can from him, pondering. "Hmm. Willy, that might just be an excellent idea."
Gohan stands up on his seat. "Hey everyone, you thought that was cool?" He shouts out. "Well watch THIS shit!" Gohan opens the can and begins downing the liquid like an enraged alcoholic. He manages to chug it pretty fast, topping Sharpner's time.
The bus begins to chant. "Wow that was incredible, Gohan is so cool now."
Unfortunately, Gohan had never drank alcohol is his entire life, and he could feel the beer coming back up. He felt dizzy and queasy and began to stumble over. Everyone began to move away from Gohan as his face turned green.
"Oh, shit..." Gohan clenches his stomach. "I'm gonna... ergh...blow..." Gohan mumbled, and then began projective vomiting all over the bus floor.
"Now what in the god damn FUCK!?" The bus driver slams the brakes, putting the bus to a screeching halt. He turns around to see the mess Gohan made. "You little shit!"
Everyone begins laughing as Gohan lays unconscious beside the pool of vomit and empty beer cans.
"Oh my god, it smells worse than my dad's jockstrap, jesus!" Videl shudders in disgust.
The bus driver collapses to his knees. "My... my home... what have you done?"
Gohan begins to wake up, the after taste of the vomit fresh in his mouth. "Oh god... what happened?" He looks forward to the huge puddle of vomit he created.
"You little bastard!" The driver begins yelling in Gohan's face. "Fuck a field trip, I hope you're ready to clean this shit all day!"
Mr. Punani wakes up from his nap, rubbing his eyes. "Huh? Wha now?" He looks around the bus groggily. "What in the world?" Mr. Punani sees Gohan and the giant vomit puddle. "Christ almighty, it smells like a coathanger abortion in this bus!"
Gohan can hardly contain his embarrassment, he stands back up and tries to apologize. "I'm so sorry, sir, I really didn't mean to do this!"
Videl begins to gag. "Ugh, Mr. Punani, can we please get the fuck off this bus? I'm going to throw up too if I have to spend another minute in here."
"Alright, kiddies, everyone off the bus right now." Mr. Punani announces and the students begin to burst through the bus doors.
"Finally! Fresh air!" The students shout out.
Gohan steps out last, his face burning red.
"Alright, now, everybody. Since we're in walking distance of the old Arena we're gonna have to continue the rest of the way on foot." Mr. Punani tells the class, who groan and complain in response.
Sharpner throws an empty beer can at Gohan. "Wow thanks a lot Faghan, now I have to walk in my brand new Timbs." He walks up to Gohan, grabbing him by his collar. "If I get even one spec of dirt on these, I'm gonna make you lick it up, fuck head." Sharpner shoves Gohan to the ground and walks off with the rest of the class.
Willy helps Gohan get back up. "It's okay, Gohan, we could all use a little exercise anyways."
Gohan dusts himself off, sighing in disappointment. "I can't believe I humiliated myself in front of Videl again."
Willy scratches his head. "Really? Because you do that literally everyday."
Gohan growls. "Shut the fuck up, Willy." The two continue walking forward.
...
The class arrives at what's left of the Cell Arena, taking a tour as Mr. Punani explains the history.
"And this, class, is where Mr. Satan finally killed Cell after a tough battle!" Mr. Punani points to a giant hole.
The whole class looks in awe. "Wow, Mr. Satan is so cool, I wish he was my dad."
Gohan starts to chuckle. "Um, Mr. Punani? That's actually not what happened."
The whole class looks at Gohan confused. "Excuse you?" Videl glares at him.
"Didn't you guys watch the TV broadcast? It was those mysterious warriors who defeated Cell, not Mr. Satan!" Gohan explains.
"Now, now, Gohan, those were just magicians!" Mr. Punani says. "They were hired by Spike TV to entertain the audience, they didn't actually fight Cell."
"Look, I'm telling you, it wasn't magic!" Gohan exclaims. "These people really defeated Cell, Mr. Satan didn't even stand a chance!"
Videl shoots an intense glare at Gohan. "What the hell are you talking about, Gohan?"
Everyone starts to crowd around Gohan, asking him what he knows about the Cell Games.
"What the hell do you know about the fight, Faghan?" Sharpner butts in. "Not like your pansy ass was there that day." The whole class laughs.
Gohan sighs, knowing he can't reveal the truth. "Fine, but I actually WATCHED the footage, and I know it wasn't Mr. Satan that killed him!" Gohan turns over to Videl, who looks about ready to punch him. "No disrespect to your dad, of course..."
"Alright, now that's enough, Gohan, you're quite the conspiracy theorist." Mr. Punani looks at his watch. "We only have ten more minutes before the staff figures out we have an expired admittance pass, so let's check out the memorial section before we go."
"What the hell is your problem, Gohan?" Videl shoves him. "Who do you think you are trying to discredit my dad?"
"Look, Videl, I was just..." Gohan tries to tell her.
"If it weren't for my dad, your stupid ass wouldn't even be alive to spout that dumb shit you're saying." Videl gets right up into his grill.
Damn, she smells nice. Gohan tries to calm her down. "I know your father is a strong guy, but it's just not true, you see Cell was a monster with powers you couldn't even imagine."
Videl pushes him off. "Go make a Youtube video about it, jerkoff." She marches off with the rest of the class.
"Don't forget your tinfoil hat, either, Faghan!" Sharpner laughs and walks off with her.
...
The field trip finally ended after security chased Mr. Punani and the students off the premises. The bus driver kicked Gohan off of the bus after the incident, so Gohan was forced to walk home in humiliation. Luckily for him, he was able to just fly instead. He soared through the air, angry and disappointed with himself.
"What a shit packed day today has been." Gohan mumbles. "Oh yeah I almost forgot, I have to drop off that gay shit at Bulma's house."
Gohan high tails it over to Bulma's and knocks on her door.
"Oh, Gohan! So nice to see you again." Bulma greets him with a hug. She's wearing a pretty slutty outfit.
"Damn, what's up Bulma? You going on a date or something?" Gohan asks.
"Nope, I just had some business down at the lab. Have to dress to impress, Gohan!" Bulma winks. "What brings you here, anyway? Are you and Trunks having another secret 'trade' again?"
Gohan tenses up ."Er, no! My mom wanted me to deliver this to you." Gohan pulls out the prescription bottle from his bag.
"Ah, your mom didn't like it, eh?" Bulma rubs her noggin, and heads inside. "I got just what she needs then! Come on in, Gohan." She leaves the door open for him.
Gohan waits inside the living room, he can her Vegeta screaming from his training room.
"Jesus, is that all this guy does all day?" Gohan mumbles to himself. "I wish I had a wife that just didn't give a shit."
"Alright, Gohan, tell your mother to try some of this shit." Bulma tosses another prescription bottle. "That's the kind of weed that literally takes you into outer space." She grins proudly. "I engineered that one myself."
"Pot?" Gohan sighs. "First alcohol, now you're making my mom a pothead? You'd think someone as rich and smart as you wouldn't be a terrible influence."
Bulma sits next to him, pushing her giant tits next to his face. "Oh come on, kid, haven't you ever sparked up before? If you want to try, I hid a bong in Trunks' room." She says with a sly smile.
Gohan stared at her tits and decided it was totally worth it. "Alright, but if my mom catches me, I get to pin the blame on you."
Bulma giggles and grabs Gohan's hand. "Auntie Bulma will take full responsibilty!"
For some reason it only made Gohan harder when she called herself his aunt. It was at this point Gohan knew he had to quit watching porn.
And so Gohan spent the rest of that day faded as fuck, and ended up spending the whole night humping a sculpted rock he thought was Bulma somewhere out in the mountains. Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM, where Gohan faces one of his toughest days yet! The Beginning of the End!
