AN: First of all, thank so much to my lovely reviewers last chapter: dottyanne, wolfhappiness and cloudshadow22 - your feedback means a lot to me! Very long chapter ahead and probably one of my favourites so far (although it gets pretty fluffy next chapter too...) Hope you enjoy!


Chapter Seven:

I couldn't believe how quickly the week passed. I fell into a comfortable routine. The coffee place on the way to work now recognised me as a regular, and they had my non-fat latte ready for me each day. My days were busy, either on the phone or computer organising visitors or liaising with the different departments. I ate lunch with Mel – either packed lunches in the staffroom or a toasted baguette in the park. Then the evenings I would spend curled up in my armchair with one of the many books I'd brought home, a pack of post-it notes and pen ready in my hand to jot down any notes as I read.

Before I knew it, Friday had rolled around and I had somehow survived my first week.

After living off of canned soup or egg on toast for dinners all week, I decided it was definitely time for some veggies and therefore a trip to my local supermarket. Once I got home from work, I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then picked up my car and drove to the grocery store. I'd written a long list, and planned to spend the next hour here, trying to find everything.

The shop I went to was only a few blocks away and it was big and very busy. I grabbed a trolley and picked up fruit as I walked through the fresh produce aisles. As I stood contemplating the rather wilted looking carrots, I caught the eye of a man standing across from me. He was tall, thin and angular, with well-defined cheek bones and hair the colour of straw. Behind his glasses, his eyes were an unusual pale green. He reminded me of an older looking Henry.

"I wouldn't bother if I were you," he said in a pleasant, rich voice.

I raised my eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

He blushed. "I'm sorry, I meant the carrots. I wouldn't bother with the carrots if I were you."

"Oh," I replied, startled by his rather peculiar advice.

"Um, do you normally buy your fresh fruit and vegetables here?" he asked, his cheeks still pink as he bagged a few potatoes.

"I don't really know," I said truthfully, thinking what a strange conversation we were having. "I've only just moved here and I'm still trying to figure that out."

He gave me a shy smile. "Well then, if you don't mind the advice, I would buy your fresh produce at the green grocers opposite. Their stuff is fresher and usually cheaper."

I wasn't sure why he was telling me all of this. "Okay, well um…thank you."

He nodded and looked as though he was stealing himself for something. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at his." He scratched his nose awkwardly. "It's not everyday you meet a beautiful woman at the supermarket."

It was my turn to blush now. "Oh, um, thank you," I said haltingly, feeling as though I both wanted to run in the opposite direction and keep talking to him at the same time.

"Anyway, I'd best let you keep shopping. Maybe I'll see you around here again." And with that, he wheeled his trolley away.

What an unusual encounter, I thought to myself. He'd been fairly attractive in an older, geeky kind of way, but certainly not my type.

Feeling a little unsettled, I continued my shopping and it did take me nearly an hour to find everything on my list. I was planning on making a beef and vegetable stew for dinner, and was preparing to watch some trashy TV as I cooked, when I suddenly realised that I didn't want to spend the night at home by myself. I hesitated for only a split second, before I pulled out my phone and hit Jacob's number.

It only rang once before Jacob picked up. "Hey Bella!" Came his bright voice from the end of the line. "What's up?"

"Hey Jake," I replied. "I was thinking of making stew tonight for dinner, do you want to come over?"

"Sounds awesome," he gushed enthusiastically. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Nope," I replied. "Just bring yourself. Maybe a couple of movies if you have anything good."

What was I getting myself into, I wondered as I unpacked the trolley at the checkout. Right after Edward had left me, I'd become totally dependent on Jacob. Was that happening again now? Was I relying on him for my happiness?

I remembered Dr Kopner's words from one of our early sessions. "You were in a co-dependent relationship," she'd explained in her soft, calming voice. "When Edward left, you transferred those emotions to Jacob. You had no emotional independence and relied on others for self-gratification."

I frowned at the memory. She'd been completely right of course – I'd never learnt to be completely content by myself and it was a skill I had to teach myself in the UK.

Then I started seeing Henry, and Dr Kopner had disapproved yet again. "It's not a balanced relationship, Bella," she'd told me, x-raying me over her glasses. "Your defences are so high - you are afraid of letting him get too close to you. You're afraid that he will hurt you."

"I don't want to lose my independence again," I admitted. "I never want to rely on another person for my own happiness ever again."

"But in a real relationship, there has to be some degree of trust between partners."

I'd shrugged. "I'm not ready for that yet."

I'd become so fiercely independent when I was living in London, and Dr Kopner had of course been right. In many ways, my relationship with Henry had been incredibly selfish. I never compromised when I was with him, seeing it as a sign of weakness – a sign of co-dependence.

So was I now slipping back into the old routines? In order to answer that question, I had to study my feelings closely, and couldn't be bothered at the moment. Instead, I sighed, earning a strange look from the cashier, paid for my groceries and headed home.

I was grateful to see that Jacob was already waiting for me when I arrived back at my apartment and he helped me carry the paper bags upstairs.

"Can I help you cook?" he asked as I unpacked the bags and put things away.

"You can chop the onions," I replied, chucking a large brown onion at him.

We made dinner together, chatting about our week and reminiscing about our youthful days spent in Jacob's garage. I enjoyed his company, but every time we accidentally brushed against each other in the small kitchen, I felt my skin come out in goosebumps.

With the stew simmering happily away on the stovetop, I turned to see Jacob gazing at me across the island counter, a burning look in his eyes. Quickly, he looked down at the cup of tea he held in his hands.

"You're so different now, Bella," he said quietly, composing himself before he looked up again.

"What do you mean?" I asked, instantly worried that I had changed too much – that I wasn't the same girl that he had once loved.

"You've just grown up," he explained. "Before you left, you were Bella, but almost like a watered down version. You'd hide behind Edward, or your sadness or something. You were so… you let him make all the decisions for you."

A felt a lump rise in my throat but didn't say anything. The picture he was painting of me wasn't attractive.

"But now it's like I've got my Bella back – but not the diluted version this time. Now I've got the proper concentrated Bella – the real thing."

"I don't know what you're saying," I hesitated.

"I'm just saying that you grew up with a vengeance. And I think this you is… well I think it's amazing."

I felt a deep heat rush up through my neck and spread across my face. Damn my fair complexion.

"I wasn't expecting England to change you so much. I thought maybe you'd come back with a different accent, not a different you."

I shook my head. "I haven't changed that much," I tried to convince him. "I just drink an awful lot more tea now."

He smiled at this but shook his head all the same. "No, Bella. You have changed. And you should be proud of yourself."

When dinner was ready, we sat in front of the television with our bowls and stuck in one of the movies Jacob had brought. It was an action superhero movie and we both laughed a lot as we watched it. The next movie, which I'm slightly ashamed to say I chose myself, was much soppier. It starred beautiful famous actors and involved an awful lot of kissing in the rain. Every time the on-screen couple locked lips, I felt sparks of electricity jumping between Jacob and myself.

I was sitting cross-legged on the sofa and could feel Jacob's warm skin pressed against my knee. His arm was thrown casually across the back of the couch and I sat there, ignoring the moving images on the screen, silently wishing that he would curl that arm down and around me, pull me into his warm body. A strange aching sensation was building in my lower abdomen and I blushed to realise what it was – what it meant.

I wanted him.

"I should get going," Jacob groaned and I felt my insides sink. Why was he leaving so soon? Oh God, had I been that obvious? I felt my face flush in embarrassment.

"I don't want to," he clarified. "But I've got to get up early and drive to Portland with Laura for that funeral."

"Oh right," I mumbled, looking at my hands and hating myself for the sudden urge to cry. "I'd forgotten." That was a lie.

"Man, I don't want to go," he stood and stretched his arms above his head. I tried hard not to look at the bare expanse of skin that was revealed between his shirt and jeans. "Can I help you clean up anything else?"

"No, I think we did a pretty good job. I'll just chuck these bowls in the dishwasher then I think we're done."

I walked him to the door and we stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Well, I know that 'have fun' isn't the right sentiment for tomorrow, but I hope it all goes ok."

"Thanks, Bella." He reached out and pulled me into a warm hug. I hesitated for a second before I wrapped my arms around him as well, enjoying the feeling of is firm body pressed against my own. I hated myself for having these feelings when he'd made it so abundantly clear how much I'd hurt him, and that he wasn't in love with me anymore.

Once he'd gone, I gave the kitchen a last wipe down then grabbed one of my new books and headed off to bed.

Jacob's POV

I cursed softly as Bella's apartment door closed behind me. I could still feel her warmth on me. I could still feel her small body wrapped tightly in my arms. I could still feel her hands on my back.

I shook myself and jogged down the stairs. I'd had a message while I'd been at Bella's and I pulled my phone out now to look at it. Of course, it was from Laura.

"Can I come over tonight?"

I glared at the phone. Why was I stuck in this impossible position? Why was I leaving Bella, my Bella, to go and spend the weekend with some girl I didn't even particularly like?

Angrily I typed a message back. "Busy with Chris tonight – I'll pick you up in the morning at 7. See you then"

It was unfriendly and I was sure I would pay for it the whole way to Oregon in the morning, but for the moment I didn't care. Slowly I made my way home, trying to keep my mind busy with work and cars, but it kept slipping back to her- to Bella. The way her hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back in long soft curls. The way she smiled and how her eyes lit up when she looked at me. Was it possible she was experiencing the same feelings I was?

I hated myself for thinking it as soon as I did. Hadn't I been through all this before? Hadn't I thought that she had loved me once, only to realise that she never would or never could love me the way I wanted.

But still, when we'd been sitting on the couch…surely she had felt the tension between us as well; it couldn't have all been in my head.

I wanted her so badly, but I wasn't going to put myself out there this time. I'd told her my feelings before and been shot down. Christ, the first time I tried to kiss her, hadn't she punched me in the face? No, this time, I would wait until she came to me. I wouldn't put myself out there again.

I went to bed frustrated and in a bad mood, and didn't sleep well.

My alarm went off, loud and annoying the following morning. I wanted to turn it off and just go back to sleep, but with an approaching feeling of dread I remembered the day's plans and dragged myself up.

I pulled on jeans and a t-shirt for the drive to Portland, then rummaged around in my closet until I found my suit. It was a little wrinkled, but I couldn't be bothered to find the iron, so it would have to do.

After I'd dumped everything in the Rabbit, I checked the time. I had 10 minutes until I was supposed to pick Laura up. I ran back inside and filled two thermoses with steaming hot coffee and then made my way round to Laura's place.

Her greeting was a little frosty, and I wasn't sure if that was because of my lousy treatment of her recently or if she was just upset about her grandfather and the funeral. Hoping for the latter, I cranked up the radio and hit the road.

After an hour of driving, with little conversation, I suddenly realised that I was starving. I hadn't made time for breakfast. We were approaching a rest area, and I indicated to turn off the road.

"What are you doing?" Laura snapped at me.

"Hungry," I said in way of an explanation. "We won't stop long, but I need to get something to eat."

She just clicked her tongue and folded her arms tighter across her chest. I sighed.

The café at the rest stop looked a bit dodgy but I was too hungry to really care. I ordered a full cooked breakfast and after some coaxing, Laura got a muffin. My mind flicked to Bella and her second-helpings of stew the previous night. It had been nice being around a girl who actually ate for a change.

The food was pretty greasy and gross and Laura sat watching me with a grimace permanently planted on her face. Her hair was smooth and in place once again and her make-up was expertly done. She'd lost the vulnerability she had the other night.

"Can we go now?" she demanded as soon as I finished my last mouthful and before I'd had time to even swallow.

I put my knife and fork down and made myself count to 5 before I spoke. I couldn't snap at her today, of all days. "Laura, we're still really early, okay? The funeral isn't until two o'clock and we'll be there by 10 at the very latest. Calm down, honey, ok?"

She glared at me and stood up. "Just get in the car, Jacob."

I rolled my eyes and left the café with her. We drove the rest of the way in a stony silence.

When we pulled up to her parents' house, I stopped her from getting out of the car.

"Come on, Laura. You have to tell me what's wrong. I'm not a mind reader, okay?"

She sat there in silence for a full minute before she finally muttered, "You still haven't accepted my relationship request on Facebook."

I couldn't believe it. Dumbfounded, I reached over and took her hand. "You're serious? That's why you've been giving me the cold shoulder all morning? Because of some dumb thing on Facebook?"

"It's not dumb!" she snapped back at me. "If you don't want to be my boyfriend on Facebook, then how are you supposed to be my boyfriend in real life?"

I was pretty sure she'd got something wrong there. I was about to open my mouth and retort but I saw a lady, who I assumed to be her mother, open the front door and wave enthusiastically. "We'll talk about it later, okay? Let's just go inside."

As we walked up the front steps to the house, Laura's mother came out and threw her arms first around her daughter and then around me. "Come in, come in," she insisted, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me after her. Inside the doorway stood three girls of similar height, all with long blonde hair and the little ski-jump nose that they shared with their sister. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the four sisters were quadruplets. Laura was the eldest of the four and they youngest must have been about 15. She gazed at me with wide blue eyes, and I felt my skin redden under her admiring stare. She was making me uncomfortable but hadn't seemed to notice.

Being around her family seemed to soften Laura a little, and I began to see glimpses again of the girl that I had liked so much when we first met. She laughed with her three sisters as she helped her mother make tea, and it was nice to see her smiling again. Her mother seemed like an older version of Laura – slim, well dressed and heavily made-up. She was already wearing the dark outfit that she'd wear to the funeral later, but the three sisters were all in track pants and t-shirts.

Laura's dad, who asked me to call him 'Mr. Muckner' was sitting in the comfy living room when we carried the coffees through. He surveyed me through cold blue eyes.

"This must be the boyfriend," he stated, standing up and extending his hand to shake mine. "Laura's a very special girl – I hope you're taking care of her."

My insides churned uncomfortably and for a horrified moment I thought I might be sick.

"I'm Jacob, sir," I said, shaking his hand briefly before sitting down on the sofa next to Laura. She took my hand and squeezed it tight. I couldn't keep up with her flip-flopping emotions and my stomach was cramping painfully. I couldn't remember a time when I'd been so uncomfortable.

"I told you about Jacob, Daddy," she said in a little girl's voice that I didn't recognise.

"Right, right. The Native American kid."

I raised my eyebrows at being referred to this way but said nothing.

"You should come hunting with us some time."

Why on earth would I want to do that? I thought bitterly, unsure what he was getting at.

"Bet you're a great hunter, hey kid? My pals and I do it for fun, but we're not great. You could show us how to track and all that."

If possible, I felt my eyebrows rise even further. Laura was nodding at me encouragingly and I looked around the room to see six pairs of blue eyes all watching me eagerly. My face got hot.

So I was the big Indian boy that their little darling had brought home for show and tell, was I?

"I've never been hunting before in my life," I replied coolly. "And the closest I've come to tracking is tracking down the phone number of the local pizza place." This wasn't exactly true, but the Muckner family didn't seem like the type who needed to hear stories about the werewolf pack. My mind flicked to Bella, and I suddenly wished that I was with her, wherever she was.

"If you'll excuse me," I said standing up. "I need to use the rest-room."

Once I was out in the dark hallway, I looked down, surprised to see my hands shaking. "Oh man," I mumbled hating to lose control at something so stupid. These people were just ignorant, that was all. I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself before finding the bathroom.

My stomach was hurting from nerves and I splashed some cold water on my face. How could I face sitting around here for a few more hours? At least I wouldn't have to drive back with Laura this evening. She was going to stay down for a few more days and then her father would drive her back. That was fine by me. I'd had enough of her and her hot and cold attitude.

I spent the next few hours sitting awkwardly in her the Muckner's family living room as relatives slowly trickled in. The girls all disappeared off to get ready and I was left for the most part trying to make awkward conversation with Laura's father. Eventually I excused myself to go and get changed.

I was shown to a guest room, and as soon as the door had clicked closed behind me I sat down on the bed and gripped my nauseated stomach. What was wrong with me? I'd been in my fair share of tough situations before, so why was this one having such an effect on me?

I wiped cold sweat from my forehead and pulled my suit out of its bag with shaky fingers. When I was dressed, I looked at myself in the long floor length mirror and gulped at the sight that met me. Under my natural tan, I was pale and looked almost green around the edges. A sheen of sweat covered my face.

"Shit" I mumbled and hurried into the ensuite to splash my face with water. I tightened my tie and debated pulling out my phone to call Bella, but knew it was a stupid idea. While I remembered I put the phone on silent then slid it back into my pocket. I checked my watch. Only another 5 minutes until we left.

I took my time putting on my shoes and tying my laces and by the time I arrived back downstairs, most of the family was making their way out to the cars parked along the street.

Laura looked pale but beautiful in her sombre black dress and I put my arm around her shoulders. She seemed to fold into me, and for the first time I was glad I had come down with her. Maybe she did need me down here after all. The younger sister glared at me.

I drove Laura and her three sisters to the church. They all sat, pale and beautiful in the back seat, handkerchiefs clutched in their thin hands. Laura's family seemed a world away from my own. I suddenly imagined bringing them all down to La Push and had to stifle a laugh. Laura shot me a warning look and I tried to sober up, focusing on the rainy road ahead. My stomach whined loudly.

"Are you okay?" Laura asked me quietly, gazing straight ahead at the road.

"Sure," I replied. "Just an uncomfortable stomach, that's all."

She frowned and looked out the window. The sisters didn't speak. I tried not to let my mind wander to Bella right now. I could picture her, curled up in her armchair, a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. Her face was such a clear image in my mind. I wanted to reach out and touch her porcelain skin. But I blinked, and the daydream was gone.

Following the funeral procession, I pulled into a narrow driveway leading up to the church and graveyard. A line of black cars was already waiting and a vast number of people dressed in dark clothing were standing around outside.

Suddenly, all I could think of was my mother's funeral. I had a sudden flash of my father's face, tears dripping down his craggy cheeks as my sisters stood either side of him, eyes dry but looking lost.

"Jacob?" Laura asked, pulling me out of my reverie. "Are you coming?"

Her sisters had already got out of the car and were walking up the pathway.

"Sorry," I whispered. "This just took me back to my mother's funeral. I haven't been to one since."

Her mouth formed a small perfect O. "Your mother's dead?" she asked, surprised.

We both gazed at each other for a full minute, the realisation that we didn't know each other at all seemed to be dawning on us, then we both got out of the car and silently followed the sisters. My stomach rumbled again.

The church was overflowing by the time I walked in with the family and we sat in the front pews. Some of the men lingered outside, waiting for the hearse to arrive to carry the coffin in. I was glad to be sitting again, and wiped the sweat from my forehead. My stomach cramped uncomfortably and I closed my eyes.

Shit. I shouldn't have had that breakfast.

Music started and the audience rose as 6 men in black suits carried the flower adorned coffin down the central aisle. I felt as though my vision was swimming. Standing next to me, Laura had tears trickling down my face and I grabbed her hand, knowing that I had to be here for this. For what was probably the last time.

Once the coffin-bearers had sat, the music quietened down and an old priest stood and began to read. I couldn't focus on his words. I closed my eyes again, willing myself not to vomit. Don't vomit.

The old man droned on and on.

"What is wrong with you?" Laura breathed out of the corner of her mouth as I leaned forward and gripped my stomach. The pain was building and I knew I had to get out of here.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I stood and all eyes in the chapel turned to me. The priest hesitated for a moment, watching me as well. "I'm sorry," I said to Laura again, then ran for it.


Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review - I really need feedback to know what you want from this story - what do you like, what don't you like, what would you like more of?

Also, there may be the possibility of a shower scene coming up in the next few chapters...things are going to get steamy! Um, no pun intended? xxx Annie