Chapter 2 - Comedic

Marinette spent much of the next morning thinking about their situation. The fact that Gabriel Agreste was at one point in possession of another Miraculous weighed heavily on her thoughts. Why did he have it? He seemed to be protecting it for some reason. Was it his? Did he find it? So many questions. Her head hurt. She groaned and tuned out most of her lectures as she doodled in her notebook.

But one thing she was certain about was that Gabriel Agreste was a lot smarter than she had originally thought. He knew about the existence of Miraculouses, kwamis, and a bunch of other details that would normally escape civilians. So what else did he know? She couldn't wait until their dinner tonight to find out more about it. Master Fu was agonizingly reluctant to reveal any information, and she was not about to go to him for advice on how to handle Gabriel right now.

That left the problem of their identities. Adrien admitted that he suspected his father knew about him, and he debated just coming clean that night. Marinette was a bit more hesitant.

"He needs to come to us first," she insisted. "Regardless of what knowledge he already has, I don't really feel comfortable revealing myself to him right away. This is quite a lot to take in."

"But he already knows who I am, at least I think he does. It's not that hard to make the leap between me to you, since we know each other in our civilian lives."

"It doesn't matter. I just need a bit more time to come to terms with the idea that a civilian – and your father at that – is aware of our identities." She folded her arms. A smirk appeared on her lips. "Hmm, let's make him work for it. I say he won't figure it out."

Adrien smiled back. "Nope. You don't know my dad like I do. He's really really clever. He'll figure it out if you give him enough time."

"Care to put your Agreste money where your mouth is?"

Adrien leaned forward, matching her confident pose. "You're on, M'Lady."

And so that evening, Adrien had ducked out with a half-hearted excuse to study at a friend's house and slipped away to transform, meeting Ladybug outside of the gate at the scheduled time.

"Last chance to change the wager, LB," Chat said as he kicked off of the wall where he had been propped against. "He's going to eventually figure it out."

"Nope. He's going to crack and we're going to have to tell him in a month or two. I'm certain of it. You didn't figure it out."

Chat placed one hand over his heart in mock-offense. "You wound me, M'Lady. Besides, I'm not my father. You would do well not to underestimate him."

"I'm not backing down, kitty."

"Easy money, then. I refuse to tell him and I know you won't."

"That's not true. I'll tell him eventually... maybe."

"Of course." She could hear the disbelief in his voice.

Ladybug rang the bell, silencing further communication between them. Gabriel answered and guided them inside. The doors leading to his atelier remained closed and boarded up. Ladybug glanced over. Gabriel noticed. "The workers will be here sometime this week to fix the damage."

Ladybug winced. "I tried using Miraculous Cure after we left."

"But it doesn't work on normal damages," Gabriel finished her thought. "It was a nice gesture regardless."

"How are you feeling?" she asked, because even Adrien didn't know the answer to that question, as he hadn't seen his father much all day.

"Better, thank you for your concern." The tightness around his eyes betrayed him, however, and Ladybug wondered if they should just offer to come back another time. Before she could voice her suggestion, Gabriel turned and led them to the dining hall. Ladybug sighed. This might end up being one long evening. She completely missed Chat's mischievous smirk as he followed behind her.


Gabriel's head pounded with each heartbeat. He had taken some mild painkillers just before the duo arrived and he sincerely hoped they would start working soon to dull the pain behind his eyes. He hesitated to take anything stronger that the doctor had prescribed because he wanted to be in full control of his senses. He hated that fuzzy-headed stuffiness that accompanied a lot of pain medication. But as he politely picked his way through dinner, he realized that perhaps he should have agreed to a later date, despite the danger the missing Miraculous posed. Ugh, it was going to be a long evening. Chat remained visibly on edge and Gabriel found it a bit concerning. He continued to turn over a theory in his mind. At least Ladybug was attempting to make small talk to ease the tense atmosphere.

"I love the way you managed to incorporate a minimalist approach while maintaining a sense of gravity in your decorations, Mr. Agreste," Ladybug remarked. "The doors especially serve to draw the eye and center the room."

"Thank you," he replied, feeling a touch of pride in her words.

Chat chuckled. "You've certainly have an eye for detail, M'Lady," he complimented, "but that's to be expected from an aspiring designer."

"Chat!" Ladybug admonished as a light flush spread across her cheeks. Chat flashed her a knowing smile as Gabriel's hand stilled, his face pinching into a pensive frown. Was that intentional? He watched the two as Ladybug glared at Chat for his remark and Chat resumed eating with a pleased expression. Hmm, so Chat didn't accidentally slip. What was his game?

"Is that true?" Gabriel asked, his curiosity sparked.

Ladybug shot another fiery glare at Chat before nodding a bit bashfully. "Yes," she admitted. She focused on her partner, attempting to deflect the attention off of herself. "Oh, Chat," she began in a cheery tone. Chat looked up, suspicion in his green eyes. "I know you haven't seen Mr. Agreste's son's room at all since you were mostly confined to the atelier when you've been here before," she said, watching Chat as she took a sip of her drink with deliberate casualness. Gabriel noticed the banter and frowned. Something was up. He just couldn't figure it out. "But Adrien has the best rock climbing wall. I'm sure a cat like yourself would enjoy crawling around on it."

Chat leaned forward over his plate and winked at Ladybug. "And who says I haven't already?" he asked.

Gabriel had had enough. He set down his utensils. "Okay, what are you two doing?" he demanded. Immediately, both heroes turned to him.

"Whatever do you mean?" Ladybug asked, the picture of innocence. Gabriel wasn't buying it.

"You two are up to something, and quite frankly my head is still throbbing from yesterday's attack. So if you two don't want to tell me directly, then could you kindly refrain from making my headache worse?" He knew he shouldn't have invited the two over tonight, but it was done in a moment of weakness. A second moment of weakness if he counted his attack as the first.

Chat was the first to break the silence with a laugh. "I win," he declared with a smug smile to Ladybug.

She pouted. "Not yet. He hasn't figured it all out yet and I'm not budging."

"Figured what out yet?" Gabriel asked, annoyance seeping into his voice.

Both turned to him with identical smarmy grins. "Our identities," they chorused together.

What?

"Oh, I know you're a designer and all and attention to detail is your specialty and you're fairly intelligent," Ladybug said, waving one hand dismissively. Gabriel didn't know if he should take that as a compliment and thank her when she continued on with, "I just don't think you know me well enough to be able to decipher my civilian identity."

Know her well enough? Does that mean he had met her before? His eyes narrowed. For that matter, does that imply that he should know Chat better than Ladybug? Gabriel's head started to swim.

"C'mon, LB," Chat said, "you're hurting his brain from causing him to think too much." Gabriel glared at Chat, who quirked an eyebrow at him in challenge. Fine.

"How long do I have?" Gabriel asked. "To figure it out."

Ladybug glanced at the clock. "I only have a few more hours tonight. My parents are going to start to worry and wonder where I am. And there's only so much homework I can pretend to be doing at a friend's house late at night." Another knowing look exchanged with Chat. "But you're welcome to continue thinking about it. I'm eager to collect on our bet." She fixed Gabriel with a steady look. "I guess we could put a time limit on it, if Chat's so inclined to give in and just tell you."

"Not a chance, M'Lady!" Chat cried.

"Chat seems to disagree with me," Ladybug remarked, unconcerned with his protests. She resumed eating, not realizing that Gabriel's razor-sharp mind had begun to review every interaction between them that evening. "He thinks you almost have him figured out and it's not that much of a stretch to connect him to me."

At that final remark, Gabriel flickered his eyes to Chat, who met his gaze with a calm smile. A proud smile. Proud? Chat Noir was proud of him? He blinked. Hmm, then perhaps... "I believe you might be correct," Gabriel agreed and Chat's smile grew wider.

Gabriel spent the majority of the rest of dinner lost in deep thought, studying Ladybug and Chat Noir's interactions, much to the amusement of the duo, who insisted on dropping hints to him. Along with an inordinate amount of puns.

"You have purrfect table manners, M'Lady. You're well-bread." Gabriel nearly laughed at the affronted look on Ladybug's face, but ducked his head as she glared at Chat. "What?" Chat insisted, holding up his hands. "All I'm saying is that you're a great roll model."

"Stop loafing around, Chat," she returned, much to her partner's delight. Gabriel wondered if he could kick them both out now and save his sanity along with his headache. He silently observed them both, wondering who the cheeky girl across the table could be, running through every woman he knew and dismissing them all.

"So, about the Peacock Miraculous," Ladybug finally said over dessert, lightly spooning her chocolate mousse.

Gabriel winced and set his own spoon down. "I was afraid of that." He took a deep breath. "I fear it's fallen into the wrong hands now."

"Wonderful," Chat muttered, stabbing at his mousse with his spoon. Ladybug kicked Chat under the table. He just sighed. "Sorry, I just meant that we're already pretty evenly matched against Hawkmoth, I hate to imagine another Miraculous used for evil purposes added into the mix."

Ladybug turned to Gabriel with a kind smile. "How did you come to have the Peacock Miraculous?" she asked. There was no accusation in her question, only genuine curiosity.

"I was entrusted to protect it," he said, in carefully measured tones. Ladybug squinted at him.

"That's not the entire story," she said.

"That's enough for now. The rest... I'm not ready to reveal yet." Gabriel closed his eyes. "Forgive me, it's rather personal."

Ladybug opened her mouth to protest, then thought better of it and just nodded. "Fair enough. This mousse is delicious, by the way."

"Thank you," Gabriel replied. "I shall pass your compliments onto my chef."

Chat peered at Ladybug over his spoon. "You're just being polite," he told her. "I know for a fact that your family makes way better desserts."

"Chat!" she admonished. "That's not nice."

He shrugged and continued eating. "It's the truth though. Crust me, I'm a superhero." He winked at Gabriel, who picked up on the hint. Hmm, an aspiring designer plus one who's family was talented in the kitchen. He wondered who among his colleagues had such a unique list of traits as this. While in his musings, Ladybug finished her dessert and looked to the clock.

"I think it's time for us to take our leave."

Gabriel stood. He faced Chat full on and offered a smug smile. "Ah, really though, I think it's only time for you to leave. Chat can just head up to his room."

Ladybug chuckled and Chat beamed at him once more. "Congratulations," he said. He leaned over to Ladybug and held out his palm.

"Not so fast," Ladybug pointed out. "He still hasn't figured me out."

"Can't you just tell me? I'm sure I already know you."

"Sure, if Chat wants to admit defeat."

Chat fixed Gabriel with a level look. "Which I will not."

Gabriel frowned. "I can give you a job with my company. A designer like you would certainly benefit from such an arrangement."

Chat laughed and Ladybug planted one hand upon her hip and regarded him with amusement. "Oh, is that a desperate attempt at bribery, Mr. Agreste? I'll have you know I plan on earning that job on my own merit."

Chat leaned back in his chair. "Don't worry, Father, she has the talent to do just that."

Ladybug sauntered out of the door. "By the way, Mr. Agreste," she added as the two men walked her to the front door, "I attend the same school as Adrien. Maybe you should start showing up to some of the events there and you'll be able to meet his classmates." With one last wink at Chat, she slipped out of the house. Gabriel closed it behind her and rounded on his son, who released his transformation and folded his arms with a grin up at his father.

"Who is she?"

Adrien laughed. "I'm not going to lose this bet. Take heart, Father, I have full confidence you'll be able to figure it out." He eyed his father. "Well, maybe."

And he left Gabriel glaring after him as he headed up to his room.

Attend some events, huh? He could certainly oblige his son.


The next morning, Gabriel had Nathalie clear his schedule for any and every event that Adrien would be attending at the school. Adrien informed Marinette of this development with a whisper before class, eliciting a delighted giggle from her as she sat down.

Fencing meets, after-school presentations, skits and plays, piano recitals, sports games... Gabriel attended them all, much to the immense amusement of both Adrien and Marinette, who had to suppress laughter at Gabriel's increasing levels of annoyance.

"I didn't mean for him to attend all of the events," she apologized to Adrien one afternoon after watching Gabriel frighten off another student from a lower grade. Gabriel glowered after the student as Marinette turned away and leaned against the wall for support as she broke down into hysterics.

"Don't apologize," Adrien said, giggling with her. "I love this. He's shown up to more of these events in the last two weeks than in my entire life. And this," he waved his hand at Gabriel's fumbling attempts to track down Ladybug, "is pure gold. I would pay to see this."

Marinette frowned as she watched Gabriel. "Adrien, about the Peacock Miraculous..."

Adrien sobered. "I figure there's not much we can do about it until whoever stole it makes a move. If it's Hawkmoth, he'll show his hand soon. If it's another player, we'll soon discover it as well. Either way, there's no sense in worrying about what we can't change."

"I suppose you're right," Marinette mused. "It just bothers me that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do. I don't like this."

"Me neither," Adrien admitted. They stood in silence for a moment, watching Gabriel scowl as a couple of girls took one look at his stormy expression and bolted away from him before he could even approach. Undeterred, he turned to look for another possible target.

"You have to admit he's quite determined," Marinette said, changing the subject once again as Gabriel scanned the room. She turned away as his eyes drifted over to them and held her breath in anticipation. When she finally looked back, Gabriel had zeroed in on someone else. "Even though he never approaches you."

Adrien jerked his head to Nino, who stood nearby with Alya. The two of them were talking in low voices, huddled around Alya's phone, and Adrien had taken the opportunity to converse in private with Marinette. "He doesn't like Nino, remember?"

Marinette's eyes widened at the realization. "You mean Nino is acting as our shield?"

But Adrien's smirk only confirmed it and they once again broke down into laughter, this time at the idea of Gabriel Agreste actively avoiding Nino.


"Why won't you just tell me who she is?" Gabriel grumbled after one football game, sinking into a chair with a weary sigh and grabbing a stem of grapes to eat. Adrien burst out laughing. "Stop laughing, Adrien, this isn't funny!"

Adrien just continued laughing and shook his head. "Nope. I rather enjoy having you attend our events. If I had known that this was all it would take to get you to appear I would have told you my identity right away."

Gabriel pulled out his tablet and began scrolling through it. "I have met nearly all of your classmates and seen them perform in almost every activity this school has to offer. Just tell me who she is!"

"Nope." Adrien reached over and plucked a grape from the bowl in front of Gabriel and popped it in his mouth. Gabriel frowned at the tablet.

"You have another event tomorrow."

"And the day after," Adrien added with a cheerful smile.

He glared at Adrien. "This is exhausting."

"Yep."

"Are you enjoying this?"

"Yep. I got a real kick out of today's game."

Gabriel fixed him with an bland stare. Adrien returned it with a cheeky grin. Gabriel grumbled again and poked at his tablet. "Just tell me already!"

"Nope. I have homework. See you for dinner." With that, Adrien headed to his room, leaving Gabriel to groan in frustration.


"She better not be that Bourgeois girl, Adrien!" Gabriel all but shouted a few days later after a particularly exhausting science fair presentation. "I don't care if she is I swear I will ban her from my home."

Adrien blinked at Gabriel in astonishment before bursting out in hysterical laughter. "What did she do to you this time?" Chloe had taken to trapping Gabriel at nearly every event and roping him into some short-lived conversation before Gabriel had brushed her off to continue tracking down potential Ladybugs. Adrien was just happy she had someone else to focus upon other than him.

"She insinuated that you two are soulmates destined to be together and I should get used to the fact I will be having her as a daughter-in-law." The horrified expression upon Gabriel's face matched Adrien's sudden one. Gabriel noticed. "Hmm, maybe I should consider that if you don't tell me who Ladybug really is."

"Nope." Then in a moment of sympathy, Adrien relented. "I will tell you that it is not Chloe."

The sigh of relief was audible to everyone in a three-yard radius around them. "Then I believe I shall continue my inquiries," Gabriel said, spotting a girl he hadn't yet talked to and heading over to her.

Adrien watched him approach Alix with a twinge of pity for the girl who currently had no idea what special type of intimidation awaited her. He risked a glance to where Marinette was standing. She had her hand clamped firmly over her mouth as she watched the entire interaction. She leaned against the wall, her whole body heaving as she attempted to stifle the giggles that would inevitably give her away. She caught Adrien's eye and both of them lost it simultaneously, Adrien breaking down into loud peals of laughter.

The noise reached Gabriel, who turned to glare at him, then catching onto what was happening, hastily whirled around to scan the room. But Marinette had already ducked out through the doors the minute Adrien broke down. Giggling, he slapped a hand over his mouth and darted after her. He caught up with her outside of the locker room where she was doubled over with laughter. Tikki floated beside her, chuckling as well. Plagg flew out with a big grin on his face and Adrien joined in with the rest of them.

"This is really irritating him, isn't it?" Marinette sputtered out between bouts of laughter.

"You have no idea!" Adrien wheezed, clutching his side. "He keeps alternating between threatening me and bribing me. He even tried bribing Plagg."

Marinette and Tikki howled with laughter. "How did that go?"

"I told him that I reveled in chaos and that this was the most chaotic thing I had seen in years," Plagg answered, folding his tiny arms with a smug smile. "Plus, Adrien already promised to double whatever amount of Camembert his father offered."

Marinette wiped a tear from her eye. "I don't think I've ever seen him this desperate. Is he even getting close?"

Adrien thought on it. "Well, he's slowly eliminating people, I think. That's a good sign. He's methodical, so it's only a matter of time before he reaches you, even with the Nino shield."

Marinette chortled again, then cut off with a strangled choke and ducked into the nearby locker room as the doors opened and Gabriel stepped into the hallway. "Adrien," he growled, looking around the hallway, "you were with her just now, weren't you?" he accused.

He smiled and leaned against the doors. "I don't know what you mean," he said in a falsely innocent voice.

Gabriel sighed. "At least that's another person eliminated."

"Better luck tomorrow?" Adrien said.

With an exasperated grumble, Gabriel turned and walked away. Adrien followed after him, glancing back to spot Marinette peeking through the doors. He winked at her and she giggled quietly.

The next few events involved Gabriel cornering different members of Adrien's class and attempting to interrogate them in a subtle manner. Unfortunately, Gabriel was mostly used to barking and getting what he wanted immediately, so his particular brand of subtlety only succeeded in intimidating everyone he spoke to. Which in an odd turn of events, actually helped him eliminate choices much faster as most people feared the daunting man. The entire time, Adrien watched with undisguised amusement and Marinette often vanished before he could catch her breaking down into fits of laughter.

Marinette sidled up to Adrien and handed him a pastry to eat while they observed Gabriel approaching Juleka after the school play. "This will be interesting," she remarked.

"Mmm," Adrien agreed, his mouth stuffed with bread.

"Juleka isn't afraid of anything I don't think," Marinette said with a delighted grin. "He might get the wrong idea and think she's Ladybug just because she won't run away from him."

Adrien finished his snack. "Let's get closer. I want to hear this."

They crept up as close as they dared and sat down on nearby chairs, facing away and adapting nonchalant poses to not appear quite as conspicuous, but in doing so looked completely obvious that they were eavesdropping to anyone who saw them.

"I thought your makeup skills were quite remarkable," Gabriel complimented the quiet girl.

"Thanks, Mr. Agreste. My aunt is a makeup artist and she's taught me lots of things. I was just happy to help out."

"Ah," Gabriel struggled to find other ways of continuing the conversation, "so you're interested in makeup?"

Juleka shrugged. "I suppose? I haven't really narrowed down anything yet. I like to keep my options open. I enjoy makeup artistry, yes, but I'm not certain I would make a career out of it."

Adrien poked Marinette, bouncing with excitement. She swatted his hand away before he could get her to crack.

Behind them, Gabriel continued floundering for a way to steer the topic to his primary goal of identifying Ladybug. "So would designing be outside the realm of possibility? My company often has intern positions available, if that's something you're interested in pursuing when you get older."

Juleka shook her head immediately. "Oh no, Mr. Agreste. The only person around here who is interested in design is Marinette."

"M-Marinette?"

Despite her impending doom, Marinette couldn't help but snicker at the sudden hope that appeared in his flustered voice.

"Yeah, she's around here somewhere... oh there she is!" Juleka spotted her and pointed. Gabriel turned so fast he nearly stumbled over his feet, catching Marinette's eye as she finally released her laughter. Beside her, Adrien joined her, doubling over the back of the chair. Adrien held out a palm to Marinette, who wiped away the tears of mirth from her eyes and slapped a euro note on it, sending the final nail into her coffin with a delighted smile.

Gabriel's eyes narrowed. He scowled and stalked over to the two of them. He stood beside them as they attempted to compose themselves, a futile endeavor as each time they appeared calm they took one look at Gabriel's embarrassed glower and broke down again into fresh giggles. "My house. Tonight," he ground out at last, pointing between the two of them before whirling away and stomping out of the room. His ears burned bright red as the sound of laughter followed him out the door.


Author's Note: Comedy is hard for me to write, as I tend to stray to more of the dry sarcastic humor that is perfect for Gabriel's character, but less so for a truly 'humorous' story. Hope this caused a few chuckles at least! Thanks to PerditaAlottachocolate for help with the puns and jokes that appeared throughout dinner. More to appear in the next chapter! Thanks for all of your support so far!