AN: Wow, thank you all for the amazing reviews! I promise everything has a purpose and it will be worked out, so don't worry! Haha but I do have to play with the characters a little bit before they get their happy ever after :) Enjoy!


Chapter Sixteen

Bella's POV

When I first started seeing Dr. Kopner, she said something that always stuck with me. "Happiness isn't a destination, Bella." When I was with Edward, I felt like I was waiting to be happy. I was waiting to finish school, to grow up, to feel adequate…to become a vampire. I felt when I had achieved these things, only when I was a true equal to Edward, would I be happy. All of my actions were striving towards achieving that happiness.

And then he left. And all thought of possible happiness vanished. Happiness became unattainable. Even after he returned, Edward never made me happy. I was never content with what we had, and thankfully I began to recognise my own feelings and I left him.

But even after that, after leaving Forks and moving to England, I still felt happiness was a long way away, at the end of a dark winding road. Everything that I was working towards would eventually, hopefully, lead to happiness.

"Happiness isn't a destination, Bella."

I didn't know what to do with that at the time. Surely, if happiness wasn't a destination, then what was the point? What was I doing?

I wanted to argue with her. It has to be! I wanted to yell. Of course happiness is a destination, because if happiness isn't the destination then why should I bother to keep moving forwards? Why should I bother trying if I am going to feel like this forever?

Even though I didn't say the words aloud, Dr. Kopner read my thoughts on my face. "Bella, you need to learn how to be happy now."

The way she said it. Like it was so simple.

Of course at the time, I had no idea how much of a black hole I had lost myself in. And Dr. Kopner was able to unravel some of that. But she never knew about the greatest fear – the fear of the Volturi one day coming after me.

Yet now, even though that fear was realised, somehow, I was still unbelievably happy.

And I knew part of that reason – my personal sunshine, Jacob. But that wasn't all. Of course it wasn't all, happiness couldn't be attained through love. Love required happiness for it to be true and beautiful.

And strangely, my fear of losing Jacob seemed to make my love for him even greater. I felt like I needed to love him as much as I could right now, because who knew how long I would have?

Waking with these thoughts rushing through my head on Monday morning made getting out of bed that much harder. I missed waking up next to Jacob in our cosy room in Friday Harbour, and although that was only a week ago, it felt like a lifetime.

Once I had finally dragged my lazy body out of bed, I arrived at work early, glad to be out of the cold rain. It was only mid-October, yet the heating was on full force in my office. I sighed happily and changed my soggy trainers for ballet flats. While I waited for my computer to turn on, I opened the blinds and watered the sole pot plant on the floor by my sofa. It was looking sad and limp. I'd never managed to keep a house plant alive before, and it seemed as though my track record was not about to improve.

A small pile of books sat on the coffee table, covered in post-it notes, ready to be taken down to the public section of the library for accessioning. They were the monthly staff picks and were to be displayed along with my notes. One was a popular new teen book about vampires, and I hadn't been able to bring myself to read it. Instead, I'd plagiarised some comments made online and hoped no one would notice.

My computer was still whirring slowly, so I picked up the stack of books and walked through the quiet corridors to the airy entrance hall. The doors were still closed to the public, and none of the information desk staff had arrived yet. I went into the large office behind the main counter and left the books on Lily's desk, knowing she would see them when she arrived.

That done, I made my back into the hall and waved at Eliza who was unlocking the front doors. Cole was standing outside, his nose buried in a book, clearly waiting for the 9am opening.

I waved at him as he came inside and we walked together to the lifts.

"Chaucer again today?" I asked, pressing the button.

He shook his head. "I was sucked into a volume of essays on Gower's Confessio Amantis over the weekend, which I think will add another few chapters to my paper." He sighed. "I need to stop reading and just write the bloody thing."

The lift arrived and we stepped in. Then a thought came to me.

"You work at Seattle University don't you?" I asked.

"Yes," Cole nodded raising his eyebrows politely.

"I have a friend – his name's Seth, and he's just finished high school. He grew up on the Quileute reservation on the Olympic Peninsula and he's just moved to Seattle. He wants to go to college and I'm going to help him apply."

"We have plenty of scholarships," Cole said. "What course is he interested in?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Well, I can give him some helpful tips. Give me his details and I'll see what I can do."

I thanked him and waved as I got off at my floor and made my slow way back to my office. With only a week until the black tie gala, I had to make sure everything was organised, and I knew it would be a busy day.

I hadn't seen Jacob at all over the weekend. He had stayed down in La Push, talking to his family. He phoned me on Sunday night and it sounded like he had made some headway with Sam at least. Apparently Leah and some of the other pack were still furious with him for taking Seth away from them. In a way, I could understand the others' fury, but not Leah's. Surely, she wanted the best for her brother. Wouldn't she want to escape if she had the chance?

I had to push it all to the side of my brain as work picked up, and I spent the day frantically making and answering phone calls and sending emails. I couldn't wait for this week to be over.

When I got home from work that evening, Seth looked extremely impressed with himself. I dropped my bag on the floor and switched on the kettle, as I always did.

"So, what's the big smile for?" I asked him.

"I got a job," he announced proudly. "At this café around the corner. They need a full time waiter."

"Awesome, when do you start?"

He got some mugs out of the cupboard. "Tomorrow. The shift is from 7 to 1, but I'll see if I can get a job waiting tables at another restaurant in the evening. And I'll use the time off to start college applications."

I told him about Cole's offer to help while I was making us tea.

"You know what Bella? I feel like I really have a chance to escape."

I turned to look at him as the tea stewed. "What part of it do you and Jacob want to escape from so badly?"

He gave this some thought, and chewed his lip. "I think, when I was on the reservation, my only future was to meet a nice Indian girl, be a part of Sam's pack, and maybe get a job one day on the boats, or in the garage. Have a couple of kids, teach them how to be a werewolf." He shrugged. "And that life is fine, that's what my dad did, and he was happy…"

"But you're not happy?"

He tilted his head to the side and looked at me. "When you were living in Forks, and Jacob used to run with us, I was just a kid. But I remember thinking that I hoped to love someone one day, the way Jake loved you. I didn't want to imprint, not like Sam and Emily, because they hurt people and they didn't have a choice. But Jacob loved you so much, and that was his choice."

I felt myself blush.

"I want that. I want to fall in love with a girl, totally and completely, and I want it to be a girl that I choose."

"But what if Jacob imprints?" My voice was barely a whisper as I spoke my greatest fear.

Seth frowned, "I don't think he will, I mean, he's not really a werewolf anymore is he? I can sense other wolves, it's a part of the whole wolfy thing," he twitched his fingers to add emphasis. "But I can barely sense Jacob anymore."

I swallowed, glad that Seth had said this, but still afraid. "Seth, if the Volturi come back for me, Jacob will transform again. There will always be the danger he'll transform and that suddenly, one day, he'll love someone else."

Seth smiled but it wasn't a happy smile. "And you ask me why I want to leave it all behind."

"But wouldn't it be easier?" I asked, almost begging him. "Wouldn't it be easier if you just imprinted?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier if Jacob had just imprinted?"

I had no answer for this. Just then my phone pinged, and I grabbed it, glad for an excuse to turn away from Seth.

I had a message from Jacob, he was having dinner with Jack and his wife tonight. I felt disappointed, not having seen him since Saturday morning.

The phone pinged again.

Can I come over afterwards? It might be late.

I hesitated, looking over at Seth, who was watching TV and drinking a coke.

With disappointment, I replied, I wish you could, but Seth's here. It might be awkward.

He replied instantly. Tomorrow night then. I'll take you out for dinner. I miss you.

I smiled a goofy smile. I miss you too.

ooo

The next day, I sat at my computer, fingers hovering over the keyboard, trying to figure out the best way to phrase a response to a rude author when there was knock on the door. I turned and smiled at Cole who stood in the doorway. He was holding a thick pile of paper in his hands.

"Two more chapters done," he said.

"Well done," I congratulated him, turning in my swivel chair. "Chaucer would be proud."

He laughed and stepped into the room. "Well, I definitely have you to thank Bella," he remarked, walking over and sitting on the edge of the sofa. "You've been a life saver this last month, I wouldn't have had enough material without you."

"It was my pleasure," I told him honestly. "It's nice to be able to use my degree for a change."

Cole met and held my eyes with his piercing green ones and I cleared my throat uncomfortably. Suddenly, he seemed to be sitting very close to me, his knee mere centimetres from my own. I crossed my legs quickly and looked away.

"I'd like to take you out to celebrate," he said.

"Oh, Cole, that's very –"

I was cut off as suddenly he leaned in and his lips brushed gently against my own. I froze, unable to comprehend what was happening. He broke the kiss and drew away, smiling sheepishly at me. I couldn't do anything but stare with wide eyes. I sat there, like a deer in the headlights, mouth open in surprise. Cole lifted his hand to brush a lock of hair out of my face and I quickly pulled away from him and stood up.

"Cole, listen," I started, "I'm very flattered, believe me, but I'm sort of, just starting to see someone."

"I'm so sorry," he said, instantly apologising and also getting to his feet. "Bella I'm so sorry, I should have asked before I kissed you. That was really stupid of me. Of course you'd be seeing someone."

I felt hideous. "Cole, no, it's me who should be sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"So, you have a boyfriend?"

I didn't know how to answer that. Jacob and I hadn't defined what we were, but how was I supposed to explain to him that Jake was the love of my life and I wouldn't sacrifice that for anything. This revelation nearly made me smile. Of course. Jacob was the love of my life.

"Yes," came a thunderous voice from the door. "She has a boyfriend."

I turned my head so quickly it clicked, and gaped at Jacob, framed in the doorway, looking murderous. He was a scary sight, his dark eyes glaring at Cole, his hands clenched in fists, his shirt tight across his muscles.

Cole took a step back, his hands raised. "I do apologise. I meant no harm, Bella I'm sorry. Please forgive me," he made for the door and for a moment, I thought Jacob wasn't going to let him leave. Then he turned fractionally to the side and Cole slipped out past him and hurried away.

Jacob turned back to me and glared. I crossed my arms and met his glare with one of my own.

"So," I said. "Boyfriend?"

He blushed but held his ground.

"Yes," he said firmly. "Boyfriend."

I grinned at him and then laughed. "Good."

Jacob shook his head at me and then held out his hands so I could see them. They were shaking badly. I took them both in my own and held them tight.

"I never figured you to be the jealous type," I teased.

"I think in this case it was justified. I drop by your office to pick you up for dinner and see you kissing another dude, Bella."

"I didn't kiss him," I argued. "He kissed me."

He glared. "Remember when we were kids, and I kissed you and you didn't want me to? You punched me in the face!"

"And broke my hand," I reminded him. "You wanted me to break my hand again?"

Jacob grinned and sighed. "No, I guess not. But if he tries it again, punch him just a little bit, ok?"

I smiled, leant up and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. "I promise."

"Who is he anyway?" As I grabbed my coat and turned off my computer, I quickly explained who Cole was and how I knew him.

"It's weird," Jacob said, "But I feel like I recognise him. I think he was at Laura's grandfather's funeral."

"Have you heard from Laura lately?" I asked, my stomach clenched nervously. I didn't want Jacob to still be in touch with her, but knew that was hypocritical. Just the other day I'd got a text message from Henry, which I ignored.

Jacob assured me he hadn't and we went back to the Thai restaurant where we had first eaten dinner after my return to Seattle. We talked in detail about Jacob's weekend in La Push and the frosty reception he'd had from most of his pack.

"They want Seth back," Jacob explained with a sigh. "I get it, we have a big fight coming up and they need every wolf they can get. But I have to support him. Thanks for looking after him, Bella, but I'm going to ask him to come live with me until he finds his own place."

I had to admit that was a relief, with Karin arriving over the weekend, we would be squashed in my little apartment.

Jacob reached across the table and took my hand in his. Butterflies swirled in my tummy at his touch.


AN: Hope you enjoyed! If you review, I might just update tomorrow :) Next chapter is written and ready to go! Review please xx