-CHAPTER 4: REVELATION-
-SPRING SAGA-
A week had passed since the incident with the Reapers. Joel's group trekked south on foot, occasionally stopping to scavenge for supplies or rest for the night. For days, they walked down the road that stretched for hundreds of miles, leading from Jackson, Wyoming to Salt Lake City, Utah. The only sight that stuck with them for the never-ending hours were the lush mountains surrounding the roads. Nevertheless, it was a tiring journey, especially with no vehicle to make it easy for them.
Tommy and Maria were leading the four of them, while Joel and Ellie lingered behind. Occasionally, Joel would look over to Ellie, who had her head lowered towards the ground as they walked. She still had the incident with the Reapers fresh in her mind. Her first nightmare about it haunted her the day before, and Joel comforted her for hours afterwards, trying to assure her she was safe.
She hasn't been herself in a long time. Joel thought to himself. He remembered to the early days of their Firefly journey. Ellie was very impulsive and out-going, but in the recent weeks she became distant and quiet. Joel really missed her old self. These violent experiences were beginning to change her. He still remembered the words she murmured a week ago about the Reapers.
"I want to kill all of them. I want revenge."
Hearing those words gave Joel goosebumps. To think those words came from the mouth of a teenage girl was unnatural. And frightening.
"Finally. We're almost there." Tommy breathed out in relief. They saw the buildings of Salt Lake City towering out in the distance. Joel gazed at the city, relieved and nervous at the same time. In a few hours, they'd be able to rest. But they would be in the same city where the Fireflies were. Joel hoped they wouldn't pass by the Firefly hosptial. He couldn't allow Ellie to know the lie he conjured up to protect her.
"Just a few more miles, baby girl." Joel spoke. He reached over and laid a hand on her shoulder, causing Ellie to jolt in surprise. The two stopped in their tracks. Joel gave her a worried look. "Ellie. What-"
"Sorry! My mind was somewhere else and I guess you surprised me." Ellie explained. Her whole body suddenly shivered. She looked out in front of her and noticed the buildings to Salt Lake City. "Oh look, we're almost there."
"Ellie, are you okay?" Joel asked. Ellie paused for a moment, looking down to the ground. She rubbed the side of her arm and slowly nodded.
"Yeah. I'm just tired, that's all. We should keep walking." Ellie said. She continued towards Salt Lake City, leaving Joel behind to wonder what was going on with her. It was the first time she'd reacted to him like that. Did Joel make the wrong move to touch her? Did it relate to the Reapers?
In a few hours, the group reached Salt Lake City. It appeared the same since Joel and Ellie was last there, more than a month ago from the end of April. Abandoned vehicles scattered the streets, vegetation grew over the concrete as nature retook the area and the view of the mountains could be seen far off in the distance. To the group, it was just another typical area in their post-apocalyptic world. They ventured through the city for a while, until they came across a worn out apartment. Entering the building, they found a complex for them to rest in. The group settled in the living room, which was decorated with a few couches, a bookshelf and even a television mounted on the wall, although it was no use to them anymore.
"That was one hell of a walk." Maria groaned, fitting herself comfortably on the couch. Tommy sat beside her. He offered Ellie the spot beside him, but she declined, instead heading off to the bedroom of the complex. Tommy gave his brother a concerned look.
"I'll see what she needs." Joel spoke.
Following Ellie to the bedroom, Joel found her sitting on the side of the bed. She had her diary opened on her lap and was writing something in its pages. Joel knocked on the door, asking if he was allowed to come in. He walked over and sat beside Ellie. There was silence between them for a moment as Joel thought of what to say.
"How are you doing?" Joel asked. He saw the uncertain expression upon Ellie's face. She shrugged. It was difficult for him to tell exactly how she was feeling. Joel pointed over to her open diary. "How's that journal of yours coming along?"
"It's called a diary, Joel." Ellie corrected him. She flipped through the pages for a moment, eyeing the various entries she made, talking about their past experiences the previous week. Even noting the incident with the Reapers. "I don't know why, but whenever I write something, it relieves the stress out of me. It's like I'm in a whole different world. Don't you ever get that feeling when you do something you enjoy and you forget about everything else? That's how I feel."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Joel answered. He reminisced to the years before when he'd sit outside on his porch and strum mindlessly on his six-string. He was glad Ellie had something to keep her mind busy. Joel cleared his throat before changing the subject. "Ellie, I want to talk about what you said the week before. About the Reapers. It was so unlike you."
Ellie hesitated for a moment. Memories flushed back from the Reaper's camp. Remembering what they did to her both upset and infuriated Ellie. "I want them dead, Joel. I want those Reapers to die."
Hearing those words come out of her mouth made Joel restless. He understood the reason why'd she say them. But did she actually mean it? Wanting to kill all of them? "Look, I want you to understand. Those men won't hurt you anymore. As long as I'm here, I'll protect you no matter what."
"How are you sure of it?" Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "You even told me yourself. There could be an army of these men still running around. What if they find us again? They almost killed you! And the things they did to me. I just can't let it happen again. I just can't..."
Ellie felt herself about to breakdown. She wiped the tears swelling up in her eyes as she tried to keep her composure. Joel wrapped his arms around and comforted her with the soothing sound of his voice.
"I won't let anyone do anything to you. You can trust me. I swear on it."
Ellie simply nodded as she rested her head on his shoulder. She always felt safe within his arms. Joel was always there for her when she needed it. He was the one thing in her life that she truly felt lucky to have. A protector. A friend. A father.
"Hey, do you think we can find those giraffes later?" Ellie asked, innocently. Joel simply smiled, glad to see her optimistic self again.
"Whatever you want, kiddo."
"Joel!" Tommy called over to them. He walked into the room, seeing the two in each others comfort. "Uhm...am I interrupting something?"
"Don't worry, we're fine." Joel responded, keeping his focus on Ellie as he fixed her hair, much to her annoyance. "What is it that you need, Tommy?"
"Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing. Maria and I were thinking about going through town and scavenge for supplies while the two of you hold our fort. I was wondering if you needed anything specific." Tommy explained. Joel shook his head, instead turning to Ellie and asked if she needed anything. Suddenly, her stomach growled. She rubbed it, giving an embarrassed look. Joel and Tommy chuckled. "Haha, don't worry. I'll make sure we find us some grub for tonight. Who knows, maybe we'll run into a Red Lobster while we're out."
"A lobster? What the hell is that?" Ellie asked, giving a confused look.
"I'll explain it to you later." Joel promised.
Tommy and Maria exited the apartment, leaving Joel and Ellie alone to occupy it. The two would be there for hours until the others would come back, so they had to find an activity to pass the time. Ellie searched through the kitchen, hoping to find a snack treasured away within the cupboards and fridge. But of course, the place was stripped clean. Meanwhile, Joel sat within the living room, analyzing the vial of vaccine he took from the Reaper's camp.
Could this actually be a vaccine? He thought to himself. He recalled to Richard's words before he died. Joel seemed baffled by its effects. Injecting this into a recently infected host could stop the fungi from spreading, but still enable it's physical enhancements and behaviours? How was the science in that possible?
Just one of the few reasons why biology confused me in high school.
"Check out what I found." Ellie called to Joel. She had been rummaging through the living room's bookshelf and found something of interest. Holding the book in front her she read the title aloud. "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, written by Judy Blume. Hmm, seems intriguing."
"Uhm...I don't think you should read that." Joel told her.
"Why not? There's a picture of a girl on the cover! It's obviously aimed at girls, which the last time I checked, I was one."
"Well, yes, it might be for girls. But those kind of books are aimed at a more...mature audience."
"I'm fifteen, Joel. I think I'm mature enough." Ellie reasoned. Joel sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop her. Ellie sat beside him and began reading the book. After skimming through the pages for a few minutes, she looked over to Joel, seeing the vial in his hands. She asked him about it. "What is that?"
"It's something I found back in the Reaper's camp." Joel explained to her. He hesitated, wondering if he should tell her it was a type of vaccine. He decided to play it safe, omitting the word itself. "It's this type of drug. Apparently, if you inject this into someone who just got infected, the drug will stop the fungus from spreading."
"So it's like a vaccine?" Ellie asked. Joel was surprised to hear her say the word. He slowly nodded. She was confused. "How were they able to make that? Did they find immune people and do experiments on them?"
"I don't know... but it took them years to make. And they are using it for their own selfish reasons." Joel explained. Anger suddenly filled him, remembering the Reapers wanting to use Ellie and inject the vaccine into her, using her as their own "weapon" since she had the infection in her body, except mutated, giving her immunity. His grip around the vial tightened, almost to the point of breaking the glass, but he controlled himself.
"You know, I still wonder what happened to the Fireflies. I mean, if they stopped looking for a cure, what are they doing now?" Ellie said in curiosity. She sighed. Talking about the Reaper vaccine reminded her about the Fireflies and their mission to find their own version of the drug. She had hoped allowing herself to be experimented on for a cure would help mankind. But to hear that this vaccine was being used for violent reasons, she had second thoughts. On the other hand, Joel froze for a moment as guilt began to settle into him, remembering the lie he told her. He could almost feel Ellie staring behind him, waiting for an answer.
"...I wonder too." Joel lied. He put the vaccine back into his bag and relaxed on the couch, resting a foot onto the table in front of them. Ellie yawned, complaining how tired she was and laid across the seat beside him, resting her head on the arm rest and facing her feet towards Joel. The two stared at the blank television in front of them and waited for the hours to pass by.
"Joel! Wake up!" a voice called him to reality. Joel groggily sat up and looked around him. Tommy and Maria were standing over him beside the couch, just returning from their supply run. His entire body sprawled over it. He wondered how long he had been asleep. Joel soon realized Ellie was not there anymore.
"Where's Ellie?" Joel asked them. Tommy and Maria shrugged, appearing just as clueless as he was. Joel put both hands on the sides of his head and panicked. How could she pull off the same stunt again? First in Jackson, now here? Joel stood up and paced around the living room nervously. "Shit! Why would she do this? Why!?"
"Did you two have an argument?" Maria demanded, crossing her arms. Joel shook his head. The last thing he remembered was that Ellie had drifted asleep while reading the book she found. Joel soon knocked out afterwards. "Well, what would make her run off?"
"Goddamnit. Joel, you don't think she went looking for the Fireflies, would she?" Tommy asked. Joel felt a huge feeling of terror sink into him. He didn't want to believe it, but it was the only reason why she would venture out into Salt Lake City alone. That was, unless she really wanted to see those giraffes again.
"No...no way. Just...no..." Joel sputtered out. He felt adrenaline surge through his body. In an instant, he rushed out of the apartment complex and into the streets of the city, sprinting into the direction to St. Mary's Hospital. He noticed how dark it had become. When they arrived in the city, it was early in the afternoon, which meant Ellie had been outside for a few hours.
Why would she do this? Why? Joel thought to himself as he sprinted through the field where he and Ellie last saw the small herd of giraffes. The rebellious attitude Ellie showed recently worried Joel. What exactly changed into making her do all this? Did the overzealous curiosity get the best of her? Did she suspect something about the Fireflies, even after hearing Joel's lie? She always seemed to ask about it from time to time. All he could do was hope she didn't find out the truth.
Joel eventually reached St. Mary's Hospital. The front area was littered with cars parked either on the road or on the grass. A number of windows were either cracked or broken all together around the building. The automatic doors were jammed open, leaving a small gap between them, but large enough for a girl like Ellie to slide through. Joel grabbed each door and pulled them open, allowing him to climb through.
"Ellie! Ellie, where are you!?" Joel called out to her. He walked through the lobby of the hospital and turned a corner, only to realize a pair of Clickers were in the way. Joel wondered how infected were able to get into the building, as it was protected by the Fireflies. Seeing them gave hope that the Fireflies were gone, but it gave him a new fear that Ellie was alone with these monsters.
Joel inspected his surroundings, finding a large shard of glass next to a door with broken windows. He picked it up and intended to use it as a shiv. Quietly, he sneaked up to the Clicker closest to him and grabbed it, stabbing the glass into its neck and killing it. The other Clicker figured out his position and lunged at him, but Joel reacted by pulling out his revolver and shoot it in the head. Joel stood there for a moment, immediately regretting his action, as it might have attracted more infected. The long moment of silence relieved Joel.
What's wrong with me? Why did I shoot? He lectured to himself. It didn't matter though, his mind was focused on find Ellie. Joel searched the entire main floor, barging into any unlocked doors and looking around every corner. Ellie was no where to be found. He intended to search the second floor when he realized it was locked. No way could she have gone in this direction. He was about to go for the elevator when he remembered he had stopped it in the parking lot before they escaped.
The parking lot!
Joel ran out of the hospital and headed towards its parking lot, which was below the main level. He sprinted past the cars, caught off guard when he saw a few dead infected lying in the path he took, which were never there before. As he reached the elevator area, he was greeted by an upsetting sight.
Kneeling down in front of the open elevator, was Ellie. She had her back turned towards Joel, but he could tell from her movement and the sound of sobs that she was crying. Around her, were the dead bodies of Runners. Joel assumed Ellie had taken care of them. As he checked to see what Ellie was kneeling over, Joel gave a horrified look.
Marlene's corpse lied in front of Ellie where Joel had left after shooting her. At least, what was left of it. The infected had found her body and began devouring it, only reaching up to the torso before Ellie killed them. She lied there with her legs gone and her insides sprawled around as Ellie held her lifeless hand in sorrow.
"Oh Christ..." Joel whispered. He was audible enough for Ellie to hear him. She turned to him, revealing the tears that streamed down her face. Joel slowly approached her as she wiped them away. "Ellie...I'm sorry."
"What the fuck happened, Joel? Why is Marlene like this?" Ellie cried, looking back to her friend. Other than Joel, Marlene was the one other person Ellie had truly bonded with and cared about. To suddenly see her like this, with the infected chewing away at her body, horrified and broke Ellie. She had hoped to see her friend again. But not like this.
"Ellie, it's complicated. I'll explain it to you later, but we need to get you back to the apartment." Joel said, trying to reason with her. He crouched down and put a hand to her shoulder, but she suddenly slapped it away, catching Joel off-guard.
"No! Don't touch me!" Ellie yelled, jerking away from him. She pointed down to Marlene's head. "Why the hell does she have a bullet hole in her head, Joel? Who did this to her? You have to know what happened!"
Joel hesitated. He couldn't bare to see her like this, broken down in angst. The guilt of his lie finally ate him. There was no way he was getting out of this without telling the truth. Summing up the courage, he finally spilled the beans. "Please, listen to me. The Fireflies wanted to kill you to make the vaccine. I couldn't let them do that to you. I had to kill the Fireflies so you would live. Including Marlene."
Ellie stared at Joel for a moment. The man she had looked up to for the past year, the one she trusted, suddenly wasn't who she thought he was. She may have known Joel was lying, but she didn't know what he hid until now. Joel may have been in front of her, but all she saw was a monster. She began to argue with him.
"How could you do this? Kill everyone here. Including Marlene. Did any of them even beg for their lives? Did Marlene beg for her life?"
"You have to understand, Ellie. They gave me no choice." Joel calmly spoke, attempting to explain everything to her.
"Just like how you didn't give me a choice! Didn't you ever give thought of what I desired? Maybe I wanted to be the cure to save humanity. But you took that chance away from me, Joel! Why did you?"
"Because I couldn't bare to lose another daughter!" Joel snapped back. His voice cracked in distress. He felt a large lump in his throat. He'd expected a negative reaction from Ellie, but not where she'd be shouting towards him with anger. He thought she'd be grateful he rescued her, but she took it as a bad decision. "Ellie, please understand what I'm saying. I did this to protect you. You are the only thing that is giving me the strength to fight and live another day. I couldn't survive without you."
Hearing what Joel said struck Ellie with mixed feelings. She was flattered to hear how Joel cared about her as another daughter, but her feelings of anger against him overpowered her.
"You still lied to me Joel. I trusted you. Just like how I trusted that asshole David when we fought those infected together back in the winter. Just like how I trusted those Reapers when they said they wouldn't hurt me and you." Ellie began to visibly shake as she reminded herself of the outcome of those traumatic events. She was almost eaten by cannibals. She was unwillingly exposed by blood-thirsty murderers. "I trusted them and looked what happened!"
Joel's face filled with disturbance. How could she compare him to those men? He was nothing like those men. Or was he? Those men did whatever they could to survive, just like how Joel struggled through the past twenty years. He may have acted like a monster, but there was one thing that made him different and justified his choices: for the well-being of the little girl he grew to love as his own. None of the other men fought for someone else like he did.
"You have every right to be mad at me, Ellie. But I want you to know I am not like those men you compared me to. Those men only care about themselves. I knew that you were worth the risk. The world we live in is broken. You are the very few people that can make a positive impact, but killing yourself won't allow it." Joel pleaded with her. "I may have lied to you. I may have taken a choice from you. But I gave you a chance at life."
Ellie allowed his words to sink into her. Joel had convincing reasons, but she had already lost her trust towards him. Overwhelmed with emotion, she covered her face with both hands and shook her head.
"I don't know what to think anymore, Joel... I don't know..."
-TO BE CONTINUED-
A/N: A tragic revelation, straining the relationship between the dynamic duo. I always wonder how Ellie would react if she figured out Joel's lie, but this time instead of simply hearing the truth, I wanted to add my own twist and make her see the evidence. Will the two make up? Find out next week!
If you are reading this right now, I want to inform chapters will be posted every Sunday evening from now on. Make sure you mark that on your calenders!
Thanks for reading! Bye for now! :D
~I do not own any The Last of Us material. They are the respective property of Naughty Dog Inc~
