Ugh. Thursday. Why bother?
Nitori- Ai- is above me, and I don't know how to feel about him. He is a bit overbearing, but I can tell he means well. I've been here at Samezuka for six months now, and he's the only guy on the team who's even tried to be nice. Besides Cap, anyway, and I'm at least 90% sure it's because he wants in Gou's skirt. My sister deserves nothing less than a prince, and this guy's not good enough to lick her shoes, even if she'd just stepped in dog shit.
I'm almost convinced that Ai wants me in his pants, too. Sometimes I think I see him looking down at me when I'm first waking up. There are times at swim practice when I can feel his unrelenting eyes on me. Plus, I've noticed he sleeps with a shark plush. I didn't even know they made those.
It's only for a second, but then I think, what are the odds? And then the feeling fades.
When I first joined the Iwatobi Elementary swim team, I was drawn to Haru. I think I just liked the challenge of trying to win over someone who was completely indifferent to me. But even then, I knew it was hopeless. Just like the growth spurt, Makoto had gotten there first. I was jealous at first, but then swimming in the relay made everything okay. We were all friends, and nothing could change that.
Except Australia. Australia scared me. I was half convinced that all the other kids at my swimming school were fish in disguise. How was a mere human supposed to catch up?
It was about this time when I had my race with Haru. Then everything turned black.
I don't remember much of my second and third years in Australia, not that it would be worthwhile. My host family tried to get me counseling, but I rejected them. I wish I hadn't. They had even found one who spoke Japanese. They were just trying to help me. I'm such a jerk.
I already know this shit. Why the hell am I still here?
I should just ditch this afternoon. I don't think I'd miss anything important. Even if I did, I do know how to read, so the textbook should be enough.
Ai caught me trying to leave campus and made me go to my afternoon classes. I think he thought I was trying to meet a girl or the Iwatobi guys, because they are usually free at one on a Thursday afternoon. He didn't believe me when I said I was getting kimchi. The school's kimchi is awful.
He's so small… why am I letting him push me around? If it were anyone else, I would have beaten the shit out of them, so why not him?
Oh, right. When I as much as glare at him, he immediately goes into self-defense mode. I really hope he wasn't abused as a kid. I'd feel like a real asshole, even more than I normally do.
This is so boring. I don't want to read anymore! I could have eaten, maybe watching a movie, I don't know! As long as it wasn't school, I wouldn't care!
Suddenly, I feel a vibration in my pocket. Who would want to text me now? Everyone I know is in school.
N: Hi Rin Rin how are you
Why the fuck is Nagisa texting me now? Isn't he in school too? Well, it's better than lit, that's for sure.
R: Don't fucking call me that
I guess I'm fine tho
N: Good! Rin needs to smile more!
I somehow forgot how annoyingly happy he is.
R: …How is everyone
N: I think we're good but Haru didn't come to school today lol
What? What's wrong with Haru? I can't ask that, though. I need to play it cool. But still, I know what I'll be doing after school.
R: I see
N: How's everyone at Samezuka
By "everyone," I'm pretty sure he just means Cap and Nitori, seeing as they're the only Samezuka people he knows besides me.
R: Captain is still trying to get Gou's number form me and all that same old shit, but Nitori…
N: He's the gray one right? What about him
Fuck fuck fuck! I didn't think he'd actually be interested! What do I say?
R: He's been acting weird since I made up with you guys eh's always been clingy but now he's trying to spend every second with me
It's true. Just last night, he tried to get me to watch some show about wolves with him. It looked really stupid, and their teeth were so horrible! Not sharp at all!
N: I think he liiiiiiiikes you~~~
R: That's ridiculous he just looks up to me
N: I bet he likes you just ask 500 yen says he'll say yes
R: Well what about you and speedo glasses you guys are about as bad as mako and haru
N: Thank you!
R: Not a compliment
He always responds right away! Why did he stop?
I take the train over to Haru's. Why am I friends with such a weirdo? I already know where he is, so there's no point knocking on the door.
Jesus Christ, Haru. Makoto leaves you for one day and you spend all of it in the bathtub.
"For fuck's sake, Haru, you're going to grow gills if you keep living in the tub like that."
"Rin? What are you doing here?" Play it cool, Rin, don't let Haru know that you're worried about him.
"That little idiot begged me to come see what was up with you. I only came because I figured we could race if I dragged your sorry ass out of the tub. Water is the only way to get through to a water freak like you."
"I didn't know Nagisa ever texted you." I love how he just immediately knows who I'm talking about.
"Yeah, he sends me a bunch of dumb shit. About his day, his sisters, stuff about 'Rei-chan,' and one was just 'RINRINRINRINRINRIN' over and over. So annoying."
I'm out of here. I don't know what possessed me to come here in the first place.
"You coming or what?"
We go back and race. Naturally, I win.
"Okay, now you have to tell me what's wrong with you. The winner insists."
I don't know what I expected to hear, but I don't think it was this. "Makoto confessed to me yesterday."
Oh my god! If I laughed any harder, I think I'd fall over and roll into the pool. It'd be funny in a movie or TV show, but not to actually experience.
"It's about fucking time! I was starting to think that the big idiot would never grow a pair! So is that it? You two have been married since we were kids!"
All I get is a blank stare. Who is this fucking stupid? Does he just think that all guys are supposed to behave like this? Well, he was the typical socially awkward teenager with only a few very touchy-feely friends, so maybe he does.
"But we aren't-"
"Yes, you two are married! Do you see any other guys our age do things like sharing popsicles or going into each other's bathrooms when they know the other could be naked or looking at each other as much as you two do? Face it; you two have been married since before I met you. I thought you morons would never get your heads out of your own asses long enough to see that!"
And you don't even realize that your relationship with him is a bit suspect? I've heard from a sort-of reliable blond source that there is a huge betting pool that says those two losers are getting married within a year of graduation. And I mean real marriage, not the bullshit they have going on now.
My work here is done, and it's only 3:45. Might as well go back to the room for a bit.
"Hello, Matsu- Rin!" He still doesn't know what to call me. It's a little cute- where did that thought come from?
"Hey, Ai. Jesus Christ, Haru is such an idiot. He didn't even realize that Makoto's been in love with him since we were 12!" I can't believe I used to be in love with such a moron. Given a chance, I'd still tap that, but he'd be far happier with Makoto than me.
Why does he look so sad when I mention Haru? What if Nagisa was right?
"You don't have to answer this, but do you like me? I won't judge, no matter what your answer is."
"Of course I like you, Rin! You're an amazing swimmer, and you've been really kind to me! Well, you can be." That is such bullshit. I've been an asshole to this nice boy.
"You know that's not what I mean. Tell the truth."
He turned this shade of red that doesn't look very healthy. "I-I-I- yes!" He ran up to his bed, hiding his face in what appeared to be shame. What does he have to feel ashamed about? I said I wasn't going to judge him, and I won't. Okay, time to compose myself. I do NOT want to make him cry.
"Come down, Ai. I'm not going to get mad. I think it's cute that you like me in that way. It's just that I have a few things to work through now, and I don't think I'm in a good enough place to be in a relationship yet. It may take a while, but when I have, I will gladly accept your feelings."
He comes down. I can't believe I said that sappy shit. But when I think about it, it is true. I can give him a chance. He's been the only one here who's been there for me. I can give him that much.
Besides, his smile makes me feel good inside in a way I never thought I would experience again.
I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I take it out to see a message from Gou.
From: Gou Matsuoka
Are you free next weekend? Mom and I miss you. Please come home?
To: Gou Matsuoka
Tell mom I'll be there.
The end! Sorry I'm late! In between midterms, a trip to the city, horrible headaches, and Attack on Titan (I'm so glad I waited to start watching that show), I've been a bit busy for Rin. I know I said I wanted to write a Gou chapter, but her voice just isn't coming to me. But you could have expected random interruptions for her fangirling over muscles, and Mikoshiba visiting Iwatobi High School!
Thanks a bunch!
~Aurora
