4 Ending Before it Began

It had been only four days since I'd entered the cloister of trials back on Besaid, yet it felt like so long ago.

I lay on my hammock; the sunlight was spilling brightly through the portholes. I stayed in the hammock, letting it slowly swing me back and forth in sync with the ship being tossed in the waves, and I covered my face with my blanket, trying to go back to sleep.

I knew that as soon as we landed, we'd have to get up early every morning, and stay up late into every evening, trying to travel as far as possible every day. I enjoyed the chance to get some extra rest, even though I couldn't sleep. When I finally rolled out of my hammock, I could see that I was the only person left in the cabin. I stepped out into the hall, where I'd said goodnight Tidus the night before. There were a few people loitering around, but no one I knew. I wandered out onto the deck, and as usual, Wakka was going over blitz techniques with his team. Tidus was standing nearby, looking rather amused. Lulu didn't seem to be around. I'd noticed that she'd been especially withdrawn lately. I decided that I should go find her. As I walked around the lower level of the ship, I watched the people milling about. I could feel a slight tension in the air, reminding me of what Lulu had said the night before. Traveling by sea is dangerous. Sin can ambush us at any time with little or no warning.

Everyone on board knew that every moment we were on the sea was another moment that Sin could attack. I felt a little sick to my stomach at the thoughts, but I pushed them from my mind, and continued to look for Lulu. I didn't find her on the first level of the deck, so I went up to the second level, where there was just a raised balcony, about half the size of the rest of the ship. Lulu was standing on its deck, alone, gazing out to sea. When she heard me approach, she turned around to look at me.

"Yuna." She seemed at a loss for words. I stood there silent for a moment, and when I realized that she wasn't going to say anything else, I spoke.

"Lulu…I know that you've been having a hard time recently…would it help to tell me about it?"

She gazed at me, her eyes boring holes into mine. Finally, she said,

"That boy. Tidus. He looks so much like Chappu. I thought that I was over him. I guess I was wrong." She turned away from me, and gazed silently out over the blue water. As I looked into the blue sea, my mind wandered to the blue eyes, sea blue eyes, which belonged to Tidus. As soon as I realized what I was thinking, I pushed him from my mind, focusing instead on Lulu. Although her voice had been calm, her words betrayed her true feelings. She missed Chappu, perhaps much more than she had let on. It had been a year. Wakka and I had still not been able to completely let the pain go, and now, Lulu was revealing that she too, still missed him. I thought back to the day he left. The image of the ship pulling away from the dock at Besaid was still burned into my mind, I could see every detail as if it was happening all over again right in front of me. He had been planning to come back in six months. Six months passed, and then another, and another, until finally a ship came to Besaid, only, it wasn't carrying Chappu. It was carrying Luzzu and Gatta. They had left Besaid with Chappu, and then, they came back, without him. They told us that Chappu had been killed by Sin, and that he was found on the shores of Djose. Lulu wouldn't speak to anyone for three days, and then, she went back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened. Wakka and I didn't understand it, but we knew how much the two had cared for each other, so, we were just glad that she had been able to move on. Now, I find out that she hadn't."Yuna."

I snapped back to reality, realizing that I had been staring into the water, thinking. I blinked a few times, before meeting her gaze. "Yes?"

"Don't get too close to him. It will only cause more pain…in the end. I don't trust him, and you shouldn't either." With that, she walked briskly past me, her heels clicking on the wood deck. I stared after her until she had gone down the stairs, and I couldn't see her anymore. I turned back towards the bow of the ship, and leaned on the edge, once again losing myself in thought, gazing into the sparkling water. I don't know how long I stood there. I thought for hours. Every moment I wanted to think about what she had just told me, but I forced myself to think of other things. I wanted to trust him…so, I refused to allow my mind to dwell on Lulu's advice, and I wondered instead, about the future. I already knew what was in store for me, but what about the rest of Spira? I wondered if I could really defeat Sin for good. If I did, I wondered what it would be like, after that.

The thoughts brought a smile to my face. My mind wandered from thing to thing, wondering what could have been, if Chappu had survived. I was so deep in thought, that I didn't hear Tidus coming up the stairs behind me. I jumped, startled, when he said, "Hey."I looked back at him, without saying anything.

"You okay?" He frowned a little. "Hm. I was just thinking." "Thinking? Care to talk about it?" He came to my side, leaning on the rail, facing towards me. I remembered what Lulu had said, and my mind once again wandered, agonizing over what I'd been avoiding for the last few hours.

I wondered how close was too close, if we could still be friends. And I did trust him, there was no getting around that. I came out of my thoughts just as fast as I had retreated into them, and, he was still there, looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.

I decided that since Lulu was older and more experience that I was, I should take her advice and be on the safe side.

"I…uh…it's nothing…" Really, I wanted to tell him all about everything that I was going through, and I wanted to know more about him, how he got here, what his life was about before he came here, but I realized that Lulu was right. I shouldn't get attached to anyone; I was just going to die. A reserved acquaintanceship should be the most of a relationship that I have with anyone, except my guardians…and besides that, he probably wouldn't stay with us after we got to Luca.

I realized that for the second time, I had been staring off into the distance, while thinking, and I had almost completely forgotten that he was even there. I shook my head slightly, and tried to think of something to talk about that wasn't too personal, but that we were both interested in.

So…I guess we can finally talk about Zanarkand."I smiled because I didn't want him to worry. And, I really was interested in Zanarkand, as it was, when he and Jecht had lived there.

"So! What do you want me to tell you about first?" I thought for a moment. What I most wanted to know about was Tidus and his Father, but I knew that I probably shouldn't ask. "Blitzball! What is it like in Zanarkand? From the star player's point of view, of course! " I tried to be lighthearted. He was obviously pleased with my choice, his bright, lopsided smile showed it.

"Blitzball! My favorite subject! Blitzball in Zanarkand is, as far as I can tell, pretty similar to Blitzball here. Except, it seems like your team has some…trouble." I smiled, knowing that he was referring to the well known fact that the Besaid Aurochs was not exactly the greatest team in Spira. In fact, they were probably the worst.

"We have…" He paused, and sadness showed on his face "had many Sphere pools in Zanarkand, so we usually practiced in one of them, but sometimes we'd practice in the sea…that's how my old man disappeared…" There was a brief silence, and then suddenly, the boat rocked wildly. I started to fall over, but Tidus grabbed my hand before I toppled over the edge of the deck. He was holding onto the rail with one hand, and holding onto me with a death grip with his other. Things seemed to move in slow motion as I realized what was happening. People were screaming "SIN!" on the deck below, and there was panic everywhere. The ship bucked and tossed in the water as Sin bombarded us with its spawn, which were shooting their sharp, poison tipped spines at us. One of the spawn hit Tidus, cutting deep gashes in his chest, and he let out a pain filled shout as his hand lost its hold on mine. I screamed, and at the moment that the spawn hit Tidus, Sin rammed its body into the side of the ship, flinging me over the edge of the upper deck. I fell to the deck below, slamming painfully into the wooden boards. One of the boards snapped, and the sharp wood sliced into the back of my neck. Blackness came over me, I gasped for breath, just in time for a wave to crash over me, and I inhaled the salty water. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't feel anything. The terrorized cries faded into silence, and I lost consciousness.

Soon I awoke. Panic filled me as I struggled to find oxygen. My mind was screaming for me to breathe, but I couldn't. While I was fighting desperately to take in air, my lungs were pushing the water that I had inhaled out. Blurry images appeared, and I tried to blink the water from my eyes, but darkness started to cover the images again, before I was hit hard in the chest, forcing the last bit of water out, and I was finally able to gasp in air. I coughed and breathed, over and over again, and as my vision cleared, Tidus was standing over me. Blood was flowing freely from his chest, his face was strained from pain, and he looked worried. I still heard screams, and I was hit by another wave. When I could see again, I couldn't see him. I had managed to keep from inhaling the water this time. I forced myself to stand on my wobbly legs, and I struggled to reach the railing. I took in my surroundings, and realized that I had only passed out for a few seconds. I saw Sin's fin, risen out of the water; it was massive. Just the fin itself was easily ten times the size of our ship. My hope was fading fast. Salty water splashed into my eyes, and I began to realize that I would probably die before ever getting a chance to summon the final aeon and bring peace to Spira. I watched the chaos unfolding all around me; screaming people, sin's spawn running everywhere, attacking them, and my guardians trying to fend them off. Then, one of the spawn leapt at me, cutting me badly with it's claws. I cried out in pain, and fell over, losing my grip on the railing, once again hitting the deck. The spawn was preparing to deliver the death blow when it was hit by a flash of blue, and flung across the deck. I looked up, and saw Tidus. We exchanged glances, before he ran back into the fray to finish the job. I saw his steps falter, I knew that he was losing a lot of blood. If he didn't take a break, he might pass out, or worse. Across the way, I saw someone preparing to shoot Sin with the ship's harpoon. People were yelling something about Kilika, and Sin. I watched as Wakka shouted, while still fighting,

"No! Wait! Stick a harpoon in em, and will we'll all get dragged under! There's a summoner on board!"

One of the men at the harpoon looked back at us, I could see the terror in his expression."Our families are on Kilika!" He turned back to the harpoon preparing to shoot. Another man at the other harpoon turned to Wakka.

"We've gotta distract it! Forgive us, Lady Summoner!" He looked towards me, asking my permission. There was a brief battle in my heart. What was truly the right thing to do? Should I say to seal the absolute death tole on my life now, along with all of the peoples' on the ship, for the people of Kilika? Or should I say to sacrifice the Kilikans' lives, along with my own later, for all of Spira? My heart pounded wildly, I had no idea what was the right decision. Either way, more people than just myself would have to die. I realized that I might never make it to the ruins of Zanarkand anyway, so I should save the people that I can, now. I nodded my head, and I gave up all hope. I was going to die to save the people of Kilika. I had failed, almost before I had even began.

TidusxYuna Always