Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews you're all so nice! Asmodeus Poisonteeth I'm glad you it has that effect. I'm trans too and most of my ships are cis so I really wanted to write a trans headcanon storyline to explore the dynamic.

Also I wrote the first parts of this aages ago before they actually did I Lived in the show but I don't really want to change it so I may put random songs they've done at different parts at various points in this story. Anyway, enjoy.

The next few days were even worse for Ray. On Tuesday he was even late for school. What's more, he kept on running into Sam, who'd give him a knowing grin instead of just glancing over him. Things were getting out of hand.

He decided to take the matter up with the two people he trusted most with his dilemmas, his dads.

When he brought it up at the dinner table, they exchanged a look. A short pause followed as they decided what to say.

"Ray, we've always encouraged you to do what makes you happy, to follow your dreams." His dad looked at his daddy for support, who nodded in response.

"We feel that although your transition has definitely made you a lot happier, along the way you lost something, and we think that may have been your ambition to perform. Your daddy and I have only seen you truly happy with three things. When you got your first testosterone injection, when you got the date for your surgery and whenever you got up in front of an audience and sang your heart out."

Ray felt tears form in his eyes and his dads squeezed his hands encouragingly.

"We understand that if it causes you too much anxiety, then maybe you shouldn't do it. But we also believe that it could make you a lot happier."

Nodding furiously Ray leapt up and pulled both of them into a bear hug. All the trepidation he had been feeling was pushed down by his excitement. He just had to take the leap of faith and hopefully, he'd land on greener pastures.

Ray gave a wry smile at the shocked look on the faces of the New Directions as he and Sam stood in front of them, ready to perform. When Ray had a purpose he wouldn't go half way. The day after the talk with his fathers he had picked a song and tracked down Sam to rehearse it. Sam at first had been reluctant, sure that Ray wouldn't have the guts to do it and he'd be spared, but he was a guy who kept true to his word so he gave in.

Two days later he was standing, guitar in hand, ready to perform.

"Okay, show us what you got!" Mr Shue said, grinning enthusiastically.

Sam nodded and began to pick at the strings before singing the first few lines.

Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall

Hope when the water rises, you built a wall

Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name

Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay

He felt a rush of adrenaline as he saw the appreciative faces of their audience. Ray replaced him for the next verse, his voice clean, powerful and rich with feeling.

Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad

The only way you can know is give it all you have

And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain

Hope when the moment comes, you'll say...

Hitting every note perfectly, he led on to the chorus, joined by Sam, the band and various members of the club. A guy he recognised as Mike Chang even got up and did an impromptu dance to accompany it.

Sam and Ray harmonised together for the second verse and once again went into the chorus. This time the whole club joined in to create a beautiful crescendo. Ray caught Quinn watching him as they performed, an impressed twinkle in her eyes. The electric thrill of the performance made him forget his anxieties completely and he danced with practically every member of the club, including her.

When the music finally ended, they were all breathless but in high spirits.

"Wow that was amazing, guys!" Mr Shue enthused. "Welcome Sam and Ray to New Directions!"

The club cheered and the two guys high fived each other.

"Now let's get down to business, does anyone have a performance they'd like to show us?"

Time passed quickly and after a performance from both Mercedes and Puck (Puck keeping with his tradition of only singing songs by Jews) and a lesson about very outdated pop music, it was time to go.

Ray had a habit of leaving pretty quickly after classes. It meant no one would have time to strike up conversation with you while you pack. This time was no different and he bolted from the choir room.

"Hey you!" Ray heard the voice just as he was about to leave the building. No one was around and it was impossible to pretend he hadn't heard the shout. He stopped and turned around slowly.

A rather annoyed looking Quinn Fabray strode up to him.

"Hi, can I help you?" He offered meekly.

"We need to talk." She suddenly looked around nervously, seeing the others emerging from the choir room. "In private."

Hot anxiety poured into his veins and his heart started pounding erratically. This was it. He followed her into an open nearby classroom and busied himself with inspecting the display to avoid her scrutiny.

"Um so what is it you wanted to talk about?" Ray said after almost a minute of silence had passed.

He looked over at Quinn, who was still standing in the doorway, with her arms crossed. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words, resorting instead to inspecting his features closely. She was still giving off her HBIC attitude but he could tell that she was uncertain and awkward underneath all the bravado.

"I was just wondering whether um you- I mean if we-" She paused and huffed irritably. "I wad wondering if we used to know each other."

There it was, the words he'd been dreading. He thought about lying, just going "I don't think so I just moved here from Mexico" but 1. he spoke limited Spanish and 2. the name Ray Berry was a dead giveaway. Why couldn't he have changed his name to something less similar, like Jack or Michael? Would it be so bad if he confessed? Would she freak out and tell everyone?

Looking at Quinn's face, Ray saw all the features of the girl he once knew become so prominent. He couldn't quite tell why but he suddenly remembered a conversation they'd had after the popular kids had taunted Lucy, saying she was a loser with no friends. She had run to Rachel during lunch and broke down crying. When Rachel asked what was wrong, she didn't reply.

"You're my friend, right?" She asked instead.

Rachel had looked her in the eyes and answered earnestly. "Always."

Ray smiled at the thought. They were always there for each other whatever happened, and maybe she had changed to Quinn now, but it was worth the risk to know if Lucy was still there somewhere.

"Yeah, we did." Ray replied softly. "We used to be friends in Middle School."

Quinn was conflicted. Part of her knew it was true and had known since she saw him, but another part of her didn't want to believe it.

"But you're a-"

"Guy, yes." Ray finished for her calmly, as if it wasn't a big deal. Which it completely was. How could- Oh.

She suddenly felt uneasy.

"So you are-"

"Transgender, yes." He finished again, this time slightly more apprehensive. She saw his eyes glance down at the cross on her neck and then back up to her face.

It wasn't like she was a bigot, she was completely fine with Kurt, and Brittany and Santana weren't exactly straight either and they were her best friends. But she had never really thought about transgender people. Frankly she never thought she'd ever meet one in person.

She'd heard her father scoff at news stories about them, and she herself had called people 'trannies' as an insult. She wanted to say that it was completely fine, but everything she knew told her to say the opposite.

"God doesn't make mistakes." She blurted out, her religious upbringing kicking into action. She didn't quite understand the twist of discomfort she felt by saying those words.

Ray sighed heavily. He had expected this really, he knew about how conservative her parents were but he really thought she might be more liberal given what she'd been through.

"I can't tell you your religion is wrong, Quinn, because I don't have any more knowledge about it than you. What I do know is that for most of my life I've had to live as a girl, have everyone see me as a girl, and it hurt me so much. I can tell you that the happiest day of my life was the day I had corrective surgery on my chest and that I feel so much lighter and happier presenting as a boy. Maybe God doesn't make mistakes and his plan all along was for me to go through all that, I don't know. But I did not choose this, nor did I make it up. So you can choose to believe my identity is invalid, or you can respect me. It's your choice."

Ray took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"What I will ask of you is that you keep my identity to yourself. I'm not ashamed of who I am but who knows what people might do in this town if they found out."

He gave her a quick forced smile and then pushed past her, leaving Quinn in the classroom reeling with more questions than when she entered it.

Ray strode purposefully out of the front doors. The feeling of being reminded about his precarious position in life twisted his gut painfully. He was so engrossed in his own troubled thoughts that he barrelled into Sam.

"Woah dude, watch where you're- hey you okay?" Sam looked into his pale face concernedly.

Ray was still reeling slightly from being knocked out of his thoughts.

"Uh yeah I'm just rather tired, that's all." He replied, forcing another smile.

"You sure? Want me to give you a ride home?"

Though the prospect of walking home right now didn't seem pleasant, the thought of spending the journey cooped up with another person was worse.

"Really, I'm fine." The fact that someone was actually looking out for him turned his smile genuine. "I probably need the exercise anyway."

Sam nodded and smiled back.

"See you around."

The next few days were tense for Ray to say the least. He wasn't sure that Quinn would keep his secret; if she so much as let it slip to one person, he could be in real trouble. Rumour spread through the school faster than wildfire.

Spanish class had become awful ever since Mr Shue noticed Ray's existence in his class and decided to call on him for far too many questions as compensation for forgetting about him. That meant not only did increasingly more people know of his existence, but also Quinn noticed that they shared a class.

It was Tuesday morning and his nerves were fried. Walking into Spanish, he noticed eyes on him. The boy who sat in the front row was giving him a once over and two girls glanced at him from the corner. He looked down at his white t-shirt anxiously. Was it see through? Could they see his scars?

He tried to calm his erratic heartbeat as he made his way over to his seat. The spectators seemed to have stopped looking, but a new set of eyes was on him now. Quinn.

Mr Shue came in and started the lesson enthusiastically but everything was muffled in Ray's ears. What if she told everyone? What if they were all silently judging him? What if after school the jocks got to him?

The room started to feel stuffy and far too small too breathe. His breaths were coming out sporadically and it felt like his head and throat were being squeezed. In the back of his mind he could tell he was overreacting but it was like his mind was on overdrive. He had to get out of here.

He raised his clammy hand and asked to go to the toilet. It almost felt like someone else was talking. Mr Shue nodded and asked if he was alright. Ray replied rather unconvincingly that he was fine before bolting out of the door.

The halls were eerily quiet but the lack of people relieved some of the pressure on his lungs and head. Making his way to the boy's toilets, he suddenly felt hot tears on his face and his vision went blurry. He pushed through the door and locked himself into one of the cubicles.

Tears kept coming and coming; the feeling of letting out the emotions was so freeing. He realised that for a long time he had been suppressing his emotions, hiding so much by trying to be invisible that he forgot to keep track of how it made him feel.

All the stress and pain from the last year or so just came pouring out and soon his sleeves were sodden. Hearing a vague shrill sound told him he'd been in the toilets for the whole lesson, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The sound of the door opening shocked Ray back into reality, stemming the flow of tears. He held his breath and waited until who ever it was did their business and left.

"Ray?" A husky voice that was all too familiar. "Are you in here?"

Quinn's voice was soft and full of concern and part of Ray wanted to reveal himself and be comforted. But he couldn't let her – anyone – see him like this.

"Ray?" The voice rang out again, laced with concern that sent more tears to his eyes.

As hard as he tried to stop it, a sob broke out of him and he heard her intake of breath. Soft footsteps trod towards his cubicle and halted outside. He could almost feel her indecision, unsure whether she should pry more or just let it go. He took a steadying breath and cleared his throat.

"I'm fine, Quinn. I just um needed a bit of space." He cringed at the sound of his wobbly so-obviously-not-fine voice and excuse.

"Right. Okay. I-um, I need to get to class."

Ray felt a mixture of relief and disappointment stir in his chest as he heard her footsteps receding out of the cramped foul-smelling bathroom.